


Crashing Down

by Asher Monroe (OneHundredSuns)



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire Slayer, Buffy's kinda gay, F/F, F/M, Five by five, Fuffy, Mature!Faith is hot, Slayers are sexy, Vampires, femmeslash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-19
Updated: 2013-10-10
Packaged: 2017-12-05 19:39:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 31
Words: 100,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/727159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneHundredSuns/pseuds/Asher%20Monroe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Whenever your world starts crashing down, that's where you'll find me." The portal is closed and to all who knew her, Buffy Summers is dead. But for Buffy, the real adventure is just beginning when she wakes up in a world not unlike the one she left behind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Down The Rabbit Hole

**Author's Note:**

> First the quote is from a One Republic song. Second this story is AU after The Gift and a lot of things that were canon will not be included or will be changed. I wrote this back in 2008/2009 so it's completed and I will be posting a chapter every week until done; rating will rise as chapters go up. I'm putting this here to sort of archive it so if you like it/it's your first time reading it feel free to review!

  
  


Chapter One: Down The Rabbit Hole  
  
Pain. Body shredding pain was the last thing she remembered. Body shredding pain and bright lights blinding her vision. She knew the sun had just rose, signaling a new day for those that she loved. From the moment Buffy Summers leapt off the shaky man made tower and into the portal of energy, she knew she would die. It all came together and stuck like glue; death was her gift and the only way to save her friends and her sister. As odd as it sounded she'd reached a sort of peace in those last few brief seconds as she told Dawn to keep living. Naturally she would die young; that was the curse of being a Slayer.  
  
Yet as she laid on the cold, hard ground and stared up at the star filled night sky, one random thought filtered through her brain.  _Man, Heaven looks kinda crappy._  
  
There had been no white fluffy clouds or angels with soft wings to welcome her to her final resting place. Nope, nothing cool and interesting like that. Just wet grass and a cramp that was steadily moving up her leg to her ass. And here she'd thought Heaven was a place of good feelings and fluffy fluffiness. Where she could eat all the cheese she wanted and never gain a single pound. Where she'd always have the latest fashions and her hair would never do that weird thing it usually did.  
  
"If I'm in hell, someone is getting a strongly worded letter." Groaning, she slowly sat up and rubbed at the back of her head.   
  
Her muscles were aching, her heart thudding loudly in her own ears. She glanced around with big green eyes and frowned slightly, standing on wobbly legs that nearly made her topple back down. She brushed off her beige pants and sighed, wondering if she was in the midst of a strange concussion. Or maybe she was indeed dead but this was the afterlife waiting room, and any minute now some chick named Doris would call her name and show her through some gates that better be pearly. Hand her a halo, a coupon for free fries and wish her a good day.  
  
Otherwise her spirit guide had totally lied to her. How could  _death be her gift_  if she were in fact standing in the Sunnydale park? Unless she was doomed to be a ghost. Float around for eternity while going  _oooh_  until she found a good house to haunt. She could haunt Giles, that would probably turn out a lot funnier than someone would think.  
  
Making sure that she didn't have a case of the dizzies, she slowly began to walk along. She made her way past the small shrubs and that circle thingie the kids like to play on, listening to the sound of leaves crunching under her stylish shoes. She stepped off the curb when she came to it and continued strolling, wrapping her arms around herself to keep off the slight chill. A small breeze fluttered her long blonde hair, sending strands dancing across her cheek. She pushed them to the side and bite her bottom lip, looking to the eerie silence that was the Restfield cemetery.  
  
Once upon a time it had been so many vamps, so many different headstones to get tossed over. Who knew it would finally end at the hand of a scary Hell God with a bad home perm? Or that it was supposed to end at the hand of a scary Hell God with a bad home perm. She wasn't quite clear on the how do yet, considering she was in fact on solid cement and not enjoying out of body-ness.  
  
Exhaling deeply, she rounded a corner and the familiar sound of fighting flowed into her ears. Great, on the night she died she couldn't even get time off. How unfair was that?  
  
Quickening her pace, she weaved between a thick over growth of bushes and stopped to see what was going on. A brunette with shiny corkscrew curls and dressed in leather pants was fighting off a vampire. Her foot connected with his face as she delivered a hard kick, sending him flying to the ground. She jumped on his back and grabbed his head, slamming it down into the dirt and making him growl. Slipping to the side, she yanked him right side up and punched him in the face repeatedly until it was likely cartoon birds were swirling around his head.  
  
Jerking the wooden stake out of the pocket of her denim jacket, she plunged it into his chest and smirked as he poofed into dust.  
  
Buffy blinked, her mouth falling open. Was she really seeing what she thought she was seeing? Because what she was seeing was supposed to be in jail. Locked behind bars and sharing showers with women named Bertha and Mad Maxine, not slaying vamps all la di da.  
  
Snapping back to attention, she frowned. "Faith! What the hell are you doing here?"  
  
Faith looked over, her brows shooting up. "Scuse me?"  
  
"You heard me! What are you doing here? How did you get out?"  
  
"Outta where? Do I know you?"  
  
"Oh don't even  _try_   it. The amnesia thing--so not gonna work."  
  
"Look lady, I got no clue what cha babblin' on about. I suggest ya get home though before somethin' messes up that pretty hair."  
  
She started to walk by but Buffy grabbed her wrist, meeting her gaze. "Did Angel get you out? Was it a good behavior sort of thing?"  
  
The brunette wretched her arm free. "Who? I don't know any Angel..."  
  
Pressing her lips together, the blonde just stared at her for a moment. She was usually a good judge when it came to the crazy, or when people were lying to her. So standing there getting all intense gaziness with Faith, she saw no recollection in her deep brown eyes what so ever. Not even a smidgen, and someone doesn't just forget massive fights where fists connected with faces on a daily basis. That rhymed.  
  
But back to the matter at hand. "You really don't know who I am, do you?"  
  
"Not a clue." Faith replied slowly. "Are you aight? You look kinda trashed."  
  
Pouting, she rubbed at her bicep. "I--I dunno. This is Sunnydale right?"  
  
"Yup." A beat. "All day long."  
  
Now she was confused. "Bu--but if this is Sunndyale then..." Trailing off, she gestured wildly with her hands. "I was  _just_   here like five minutes ago! The guys and I had defeated Glory, bu--but the portal was open so I had to jump. I was right up there!" She pointed up to...nothing. The large tower that you could probably see from space was gone. "Whaa..."  
  
Faith clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth. Was this chick mental? "Maybe you should go catch some zees. Come down from whatever you're on."  
  
Dragging her fingers through her hair, she shook her head from side to side. "It was right there, I swear. What is going on?!" She was right; this was hell. "Where is everyone? Where is Dawn? Where is Giles?"  
  
"You know Giles?"  
  
"Yes. We both know Giles. He's... _Giles_."  
  
"O...kay. C'mon we'll go see if he can make heads to what you're sayin'."  
  
Without waiting for a response, she turned and started walking off. Buffy whimpered but followed along, replying the last events she remembered in her mind over and over again. Glory. Beating. Tower. Portal. Death. Sense; it wasn't making it. Even if she could suspend the wacky and figure that maybe the tower had collapsed, it didn't explain Faith or why she had no idea who she was.  
  
Unless all the steel had hit her in the head as it came down. Though a concussion did not seem a normal reaction. Giant gaping head wound, that she could understand.  
  
The streets were quiet and the buildings were closed as they strolled along. The town looked exactly the same as always. The Espresso Pump had just finished pumping; the boss pushing out the last of his customers. People chatted and went about their business, jumping in cars and speeding away or jogging down the sidewalk. Everything was peaceful.  
  
Folding her arms over her chest, she glanced to Faith and noticed that she did look different. Older maybe. The last time she had seen her as she gave her statement to the police, there'd been a repose to her body. Like she'd finally learned to accept herself. That was missing now. Granted she didn't look like she wanted to get stabby with it, but she looked like there was no weight on her shoulders at all. No reason for her to atone.  
  
"Like what cha see?"  
  
Good to see that hadn't changed. "No. I--I mean yes...I mean...things are way wiggy right now."  
  
Smirking, the brunette nodded. "Well no worries. I'm sure G will straighten out whatever is up."  
  
"God I hope so." Buffy sighed, taking the steps down to his home two at a time.  
  
Faith knocked twice and then twisted the knob, pushing the door open. "Yo G!" She stepped to the side and let Buffy in, then did the same and closed the door. "Look what followed me home. Can I keep it?"  
  
The blonde scowled and Giles appeared out of his bedroom with a cup of tea in his hands. "Dare I ask?" He moved into his living room and picked up a book, then turned to see what she was talking about. He blinked and visibly jerked, the pretty mug in his hand falling to shatter into a thousand pieces on the floor. His eyes grew wide behind his thin rimmed glasses, his mouth working but no sound coming out.  
  
Buffy swallowed, his reaction making her slightly nervous. "Giles? D--do you know who I am?"  
  
"Yo--you're B--Buffy Summers." He stammered out. "But you can't be. It--it's not possible."  
  
She wet her lips. "Why not? Why can't I be me? Is someone else me?"  
  
Removing his glasses, he cleaned them. "Faith, where did this woman come from?"  
  
The girl in question shrugged as she sat down on the arm of the couch. "I dunno. I was patrolin' and she walked up with a major 'tude. Said she knew ya and since I didn't get demon vibes, I brought her over."  
  
"Hello, still in the room." The blonde replied. "Giles please, why can't I be me?"  
  
He cleared his throat before he spoke. "Because...Buffy Summers died nearly four years ago at the hands of the Master."  
  
Suddenly everything tilted and she would have hit the corner table had Faith not steadied her. She was lead to the sofa and sat down, and the brunette moved into the kitchen to get her a glass of water. She covered her face with her hands and tried to gasp in air, feeling a panic attack coming on. If it were possible for things to be worse than hell, then she'd found them. Go team her!  
  
"I--I..." Stuttering, she took the offered beverage and sipped lightly. Too fast and she'd end up yakking on the carpet. "Th--there must be some mistake. I--I did die bu--but Xander, he--he brought me back to life. I was only gone a minute."  
  
Giles eased down hesitatingly beside her. "Those are not the events that I remember, like they were yesterday. You--uh Buffy went down to fight the Master but she did not survive. He bit her and then left her to drown in a small fountain of water."  
  
"But Xander gave me CPR!"  
  
"No. He was too late. There was nothing he could do."  
  
"I--what's going on?"  
  
"What is the last thing you remember?"  
  
Sniffling, she took another sip. "I--we were fighting Glory and the portal opened before we could stop it. Da--Dawn was going to jump to stop the energy fro--from leaking out but I--I jumped instead. Everything went white..."  
  
He stood and moved to his bookcase, thumbing through the volumes. "You jumped into a portal? Hmm..." A pause. "I suppose it is possible. It's not unheard of though this is truly extraordinary."  
  
"Giles, English." She whispered. "What the hell is going on? Am I not...Buffy? Am I losing my mind?"  
  
Smiling warmly, he slipped his spectacles back on. "I believe that you are Buffy, but not the one that belongs here. It is not uncommon for portals to lead to other dimensions; there are hundreds that border our own."  
  
Her lashes fluttered. "So wait, this is another dimension? But I--the energy was supposed to kill me. Everyone said so.  _You_   said so."  
  
"Perhaps  _I_  was wrong. Energy is volatile and unstable at best, no one can be quite sure what shall occur when it is unleashed." He explained. "It could have caused uh--uh tear in the fabric of worlds, and instead of killing you, it sent you here."  
  
That did make sense with Dawn being the key and all. Keys did open doors and doors did lead to places. "Jeepers." And suddenly she was tired, but sleep could wait. She needed answers. "So the me here, she died?"  
  
"Unfortunately, yes." He answered.  
  
"But who defeated the Master?"  
  
"Angel. He was so upset over your uh, her death that he made it his mission to kill him. Luckily he succeeded."  
  
"An--and then, Kendra came, right?"  
  
"That's right."  
  
"Did--did Angel lose his soul? Did he unleash Acathla?"  
  
"No, that was Spike and Drusilla. Drusilla revived him, and then Kendra killed her to seal his mouth before he could suck the world into hell."  
  
"But if Faith is here then Kendra died, right?"  
  
"Yes, at the hands of Spike. Revenge for killing Drusilla."  
  
Okay, piecing it together now. "And then what?"  
  
Faith took this time to chime in. "I rolled into town and did what I do best. Kick ass."  
  
"Yes." Giles said wryly. "Angel left a few days before she arrived. And with her Watcher dead, I took over those duties and she has been here ever since."  
  
Buffy looked to the brunette, who winked at her. "What about the Mayor? Did he turn into a giant snake at graduation?"  
  
"Actually it was the Deputy Mayor, Allan Finch. He tried to frame me for murder and then turned into this big ass bat thing." The other female cracked her knuckles. "We doused his ass in gasoline using a fire truck water hose and boom, homeboy went up like a roman candle."  
  
So she hadn't went evil and killed people. That would take some getting used to if she were here long. "And Adam the robot boy..."  
  
The brunette frowned, then snapped her fingers. "Oh you mean Riley? Walsh's pet science project? Yeah we killed his ass."  
  
_Riley. Poor Riley_.  "Wow. This is a lot to take in. Things were--are different where I am from." Sighing, she itched at her cheek. "Are my--Willow and Xander? Are they alright?"  
  
"Five by five." Faith drawled out. "Will's doin' the college thing and Xand's around."  
  
Buffy smiled at that, glad they were okay. "Is Willow a witch? Or gay here?"  
  
"As tinsel on a Christmas tree. She's datin' some chick named Tara, and Xander hooked up with an annoyin' ex demon." She stretched, her shirt riding up over her flat stomach. "Yeah she works the magics from time to time."  
  
"Wow..." Was her reply. "What about my mom? Where is she?"  
  
"She moved a few months after the funeral." Giles said softly. "I am not sure where."  
  
Least she was alright. Alive.  
  
When Buffy didn't say anymore, Giles folded his arms over his chest. "You look tired, perhaps we should talk more tomorrow. Look into ways to uh--get you home." He turned his attention to Faith. "Would it be alright if she stayed with you tonight?"  
  
She nodded, stifling a yawn. "Aight. Let's go, Blondie. I wanna get a shower before I hit the hay."  
  
Getting up, the blonde went with her impulse to hug Giles. He might not be the one she was used to but he would always just be Giles no matter what. "Thanks."  
  
He returned the embrace. "You're welcome. It's good to see you again, Buffy."  
  
Squeezing his hand, she then turned and followed Faith back out into the night air. Her mind was going a hundred miles a minute. She'd never thought that there could be another Buffy running around out there somewhere, or in this case one that hadn't faired as good as she had. Guess that meant there could be an evil Buffy or vampire Buffy or Barbie dream house Buffy. And if so, who was really the original?  
  
"My brain hurts." She announced. "Bed has never sounded so good."  
  
Faith cut her eyes over but didn't respond, instead drifted into her own thoughts. She'd heard stories about Buffy Summers, especially in training exercises and stuff. Chick had been bad ass for someone so young, yet still got snuffed out by the Master. Made an impact though on those around her; changed their lives or some shit. To her she'd been just a name, just an image in her head, just a grave she'd pass by sometimes.  
  
Yet now here she was. Alive and well and pretty hot. A little whiny but things were ample in all the right places.  
  
"So this like other dimension thing, who was I there?" Asked the younger Slayer. "If I was some perky cheerleader, lie to me."  
  
Buffy chuckled. "No you were a Slayer. Pretty bad ass." Biting her lip, she scrunched up her face. "But you um, you kinda went bad and joined the dark side of the force. You got better though...but went to prison."  
  
"Damn." Faith snorted. "Mama always said drinkin' Jack would get me in trouble."  
  
"You seem to be doin' pretty nifty here though." She fiddled with the bottom of her dirty blouse. "Slayer in charge..."  
  
"Guess so. G keeps me on the straight and narrow." The brunette said idly. "Heh or tries to anyway. I still do my own thing when the mood hits."  
  
"And you're friends with Willow and Xander?" She inquired, trying to get a feel for things.  
  
"More or less." The younger Slayer remarked. "We don't have sleep overs and shit but they come patrolin' with me sometimes."  
  
"How did Willow get into the magics if Angel didn't lose his soul?"  
  
"I dunno. I think Jenny helped her."  
  
"Jenny? You mean Miss. Calender? Oh my God, she's alive?"  
  
"And kickin'. She's in Romania visitin' family, otherwise she'd be shackin' up with Giles. You think fightin' demons is gross? Try walkin' in on them two doin' the ditty. I wanted to bleach my eye balls."  
  
The blonde giggled, then stuck out her lower lip. She couldn't help but wonder if her death hadn't worked out better for those around her. Well except her mother of course. And Dawn since she didn't seem to be anywhere around. Two outta like five wasn't bad though.  
  
The two young women entered a rather swanky looking building, and took the elevator up to the top floor. They came to the door at the end of the hallway and Faith finagled her keys out of her pocket, twisting it into the lock. She kicked the barrier open with her boot and fumbled along the wall, flicking up the light switch and flooding the room in light.  
  
Buffy instantly remembered the apartment; it'd been the location of their final battle. Or her final battle with the  _other_ Faith. "Nice place."  
  
Faith removed her jacket and tossed it onto a chair. "Thanks. The Mayor was so glad that I saved the day, he set me up in these classy digs. Make ya self at home." Kicking off her shoes, she waved around. "There's left over Chinese in the fridge and cable on the tv." Flashing a grin, she headed off towards the bathroom. "I'll get cha some clothes when I'm done."  
  
Huffing, she slowly sat down and untied her sneakers, pushing them neatly under the coffee table. So she wasn't in hell which was of the good, but alter Sunnydale wasn't that much of a picnic either. Was it too much to ask to get a little death for a change? She'd been looking forward to a permanent vacation in ultimate paradise. Instead she found herself in the Twilight Zone where carbon copies of everyone she knew were skipping around.  
  
It might be a bad idea but tomorrow, she was so going to find the Willow and Xander of this time. She needed her Scoobies, now more than ever. Besides the part of her that was curious and loved shinies really wanted to know about their lives. And she had to pass the time somehow while she was here.  
  
Wiggling her toes on the fluffy carpet, she scratched at her neck and glanced towards where singing was coming over the running water. Faith; the  _dark_   Slayer being not so dark threw her head for a loop. Faith not trying to kill her didn't seem natural as stupid as that sounded. It was hard to bend when you were set in your ways. God, she sounded like an old lady.  
  
Though day was young. She may still find a knife in her back yet. The point was to keep hope alive.  
  
Snorting at her own off kilter thoughts, she padded into the kitchen and peered in the fridge, seeing the aforementioned Chinese. She plucked out the carton and smelled what was inside, then stuck it in the microwave. She leaned to the clean marble counter and arched a brow as the door swung open and a pretty girl with bouncy black curls hurried her way inside. She was dressed in a waitresses uniform, with something brown stained on her apron.  
  
When she noticed Buffy, she blinked and looked around. "Um, hi."  
  
"Hi." The blonde said.  
  
"Where's Faith?"  
  
"Shower."  
  
"Oh really?"  
  
"Um, yes..."  
  
Just like clockwork the brunette appeared in boi shorts and a tank top, her wet hair up in a towel. She smirked, showing off those impressive dimples. "See you two have met. Good, now we can get right down to the threesome."  
  
"What?" Both girls said in unison.  
  
She laughed. "Chill, geeze. Carly, this is Buffy. She's a friend of Giles. Buffy this is Carly, my bitch."  
  
Carly pushed at her, rolling her almond shaped dark eyes. "You wish. Well any friend of Giles is a friend of mine. It's nice to meet you."  
  
As she turned to give Faith a rather intimate kiss on the lips, Buffy suddenly felt her mouth go dry. "Ni--nice to meet you too."  
  
"Buffy's gonna be crashin' here for a bit." The brunette explained.  
  
She heard Carly's reply but it sounded muffed as if she were under water. So this Faith had a girlfriend. A friend who was a girl, who kissed her with tongue. That was...it was something that she didn't know what. Not that it was bad because it would never be bad. It was...different. Interesting different, like a giant ball of rubber bands or tin foil.  
  
If Xander's ex demon was a guy she'd give up cheese for a month.  
  
The funny part? She could cruise past the Buffy here being dead and everything being topsy turvy. What bothered her the most was something she never  _knew_   would bother her. Something that she always used to brush off or scoff at cause brushing and scoffing seemed appropriate. Now? Not so much. It shouldn't bother her but it did. What did?  
  
Hearing Faith call her anything other than B.


	2. Meeting The Alters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos! :)

Chapter Two: Meeting The Alters

The next morning came too fast for Buffy, who woke up slightly disoriented and ready to pummel when she didn't recognize her surroundings. But once she calmed down and rubbed the sleep from her eyes, she realized it hadn't been some wiggy dream brought on by too much yogurt. That she was indeed in a strange world with strange yet not strangers.

After eating her Chinese and making slight conversation with Carly and Faith, she'd showered and put on the clothes Carly lent her since they were the same size. Then she'd crawled up onto the couch and tried to rest. Tried to think about anything other than what she couldn't stop thinking about. Her mind kept swinging back around to the fact that leather clad, finding the fun Faith had found her fun in a member of the same sex.

And they probably had that. Lots and lots of same sex sex.

It was not of the norm, because the Faith  _she_  knew didn't like to be tied down to just once person. Her motto was all  _get some and get gone_  not  _get_   _some and cuddle with her on a chaise lounge._  But this wasn't the Faith  _she_  knew and the sooner she remembered that the better off she would be. Of course that begged the question, could this have been the Faith she'd known if things had went differently? If there hadn't been punching and kicking?

On the off moments when she'd thought about Faith, they were always what if scenarios. What if she hadn't killed Allan Finch? What if Wesley hadn't spooked her right into the creepy arms of the Mayor? What if she hadn't said the hell with her as soon as things got too hot to handle?

Would it have been like this now?

Would they have become fast friends who stood the test of time?

Would she be back in her right universe because Faith had helped her take out Glory?

The smell of waffles invaded her nose and her tummy gave a growl, alerting her that her brain should shut up so she could pay it some attention. Swinging her legs around and putting her feet on the floor, she smoothed down her hair and stood to see Faith piling down a plate with breakfast. Carly must have left early for work.

"You cook too?" She inquired as she slowly walked over. "This just gets weirder and weirder."

Faith laughed and reached into a cabinet for syrup. "Take it I'm a train wreck in your neck of the woods?"

"Yeah." She chuckled, sinking down at the small table. "But well--it wasn't so much your fault as  _ours_. I could have handled stuff differently."

"No worries." The brunette shrugged. "Wasn't my life so I got no bones to pick."

"Right. Right."

"Still it's fucken weird to think there's like, another me. Always thought I was often imitated but never duplicated."

"Haha well if it's any conciliation, you're still pretty original."

Smirking, Faith opened the fridge and pulled out a jar of strawberry jam. "So what's your story?"

Buffy picked up a fork. "Oh um, I dunno. I--I mean I guess the only difference from here is that I didn't die." She pushed around her eggs. "Xander gave me CPR and I went on to kill the Master. Then I just kinda killed everything else too."

"Wicked." The younger girl voiced. "Gotta say it's cool to actually be able to meet another Slayer. This whole  _one girl in all the world_  shtick ain't all it's cracked up to be."

"You're telling me." She shoved the eggs into her mouth, savoring how good they were. So fluffy. "Um--so Giles took you under his wing when you got here?"

"Yup. My Watcher was toast and all I wanted to do was hit shit. Last thing I wanted was someone tellin' me what to do, but G wouldn't give up. He let me stay with him and made me train. We fell into a routine." The brunette explained, wiggling her leg underneath the table. "He--he's kinda like the Pops I never had, ya know?"

"Yeah." Buffy said softly. "I really do. He's been like that for me too--especially since my mom died and my dad stopped coming to visit."

"That's rough, yo. Sorry."

"Thanks. So umm, what are you doing today?"

Faith poured syrup over her waffles. "Workin'. I got a job bartendin' at the Bronze. I switched shifts with Mark yesterday though so I could patrol tonight."

 _Next she'll be saying she saves orphans from burning buildings._  "Oh."

A nod. "Yup but, I'll drop ya off by Red's dorm room so that you guys can get reacquainted. And afters we can slay together if ya want."

Buffy smiled. "Sounds like a plan." Now to be curious. "You and Carly huh? Ho--how did that happen?"

She smirked, chewing her food and swallowing. "We met at this Halloween frat party that was bein' haunted by some baddie. She got attacked by a scarecrow and I got it off her. We just clicked after that and the rest is what it is."

The blonde sipped her orange juice. "She's really nice. Not really your type, no--not that I know  _your_  type. I--I mean she could be your type. Not that you even have to  _have_  a type... I'll just shut up now."

Faith chuckled. "What? Is it cause she doesn't have a cock?" When Buffy nearly choked, she chuckled again. "I don't really label myself. I dig guys but I dig chicks too; besides she's smokin' hot. I'd have been crazy not to go for it."

 _Paging my brain. Now would be a good time to check in_. "I'm sorry I--I shouldn't have said anything."

She shrugged. "I don't mind. Got nothin' to hide."

That's a first. "I'm glad you're happy, Faith. Really. It's nice to know that at least somewhere things worked out for you."

"Heh thanks Buffy." The other girl replied. "Glad you're not six feet under."

They both laughed and continued to eat, while Buffy continued to wonder why hearing her name and not her nick name from this woman rubbed her the wrong way.

It was just a stupid nick name she never really liked in the first place. B. Bees. At the very least she could have called her Buff like everyone else.

At the very least she didn't have to make it so  _Faith_. So...special. So damn hard to forget.

~*~

Standing outside of Willow's dorm room, Buffy pulled at the bottom of the short red pleated skirt she wore, courtesy of Carly. She hadn't worn something so short since she was seventeen and trying to impress people. But apparently most of Carly's clothes were either very wintery or very summery, and since it was a nice day outside she'd opted for summer. Flashing thighs and legs summer.

Faith however had on black jeans and a matching wife beater, with a tiny silver cross around her neck. Obviously bad ass was not a term for leathers only.

Exhaling deeply, she stared at the door and swallowed thickly. She was nervous which was odd because she  _knew_  Willow. Or she knew a Willow, which was not this Willow. Even though Giles acted like Giles, Willow could act totally different. She could be fake and annoying like Harmony had been, or an outcast like Amy. Speaking of, was Amy a rat here too? Focus. Okay. Willow. Old reliable Willow.

"I changed my mind." She announced. "Let's just go."

"Calm down." Faith mused, knocking on the door. "I'm sure she's just like the Red you hang with."

"Bu--but what if she isn't? What if she's--she's mean or a blonde? I can't handle a blonde Willow."

"You're kinda twisted. Relax."

"I can do that. I can relax. I can relax until the cows come home."

The door opened and she actually meeped. Willow in her long skirt and frog colored blouse smiled, pushing shiny red bangs out of her bright blue eyes. "Hey Faith." She turned to..." _Ooh_. Yo--you look just like someone I--I used to know."

"Buffy Summers, right?" The blonde inquired. "You went to high school with her but she...died. Cute little thing, deadly with pieces of sharp wood."

"Wow you're good." Willow replied, slightly confused.

Buffy giggled, wetting her lips. "Actually Will I-- _I'm_  Buffy. No--not the one you know; I'm from another dimension where I didn't die at the hands of the Master."

Anyone else would have called the men in white coats at a sentence like that, but it sounded plausible to her. "Oh--whoa. That--that's a lot to take in while you're still standing in the hallway. C'mon in."

"Well you're in good hands now. Gotta hit the bricks. Catch ya later, Buffy." Faith pointed her fingers like a gun and then walked off.

 _It's not_   _Buffy_! Sighing, she slipped into the room and glanced around. "I'm sorry to just spring this on you bu--but I'm so used to hanging out with my friends, and you're a friend so..."

"It's okay." The Wicca said smiling. "If you're anything like the Buffy I knew, we're gonna get along fine. Besides I'd really like to know more about this other dimension." A brow rose. "Though if I'm a leather wearing vampire mama, don't tell me."

She laughed. "No. You're just as sweet are you are now."

"Good. So another Sunnydale? That's kinda freaky."

"Yeah. But it's just like this one, at least from what I have seen. Well, except for Faith it is. She's more structured here."

"Ooh. What about me? Does coffee make the me there, jittery?"

"Hah yeah it totally does. And you're really good with magic. And you're dating a great girl named Tara."

Willow smiled and sat down on her bed. "Hehe neat. Man, so what have you been doing all of these years? Oh! Is--is there a Xander there?"

Buffy nodded with a chuckle. "Yup. I think pretty much everyone you know here is there. Or w--was if they didn't die. But Xander is alive and of the good. He's in construction."

"Oh here he's a tip top mechanic. Even thinking of opening his own garage." The Wicca explained with a proud grin. "Though his girlfriend leaves something to be desired."

"Anya?" When she said yes, the blonde snickered. "Yeah she's the same where I come from. Loves money, Xander and not much else though oddly she comes through in times of fightin'." Chewing on her bottom lip, she continued. "As for me I--well I've been slaying. I dated Angel for a while but that ended badly. Then I did the college thing for a while, but dropped out after my mom got sick."

"Sorry to hear that." Willow replied gently. "Hehe you and Angel huh? Sounds dishy. After you--erm--she died here he went all mopey and made it his mission to finally kill the Master. Then Spike and Drusilla came, so he helped us with their craziness along with Kendra."

Sighing, the Slayer places her hands in her lap. "What happened to Spike?"

A snort. "He took off after Dru was killed, but of course came back to doll out the vengeance. The army guys put a chip in his head though, so now he can't bite people. Haven't seen him in a while."

 _Good_. "Did you date a guy named Oz?"

Willow grinned. "Yup. He was in a band;  _Dead Men Don't Bite_."

"That's a weird name." Buffy made a face.

"It's a quote I think from Plutarch."

"In my dimension they called themselves  _Dingos Ate My Baby_."

"Oh. Yeah that's--well it's defintely not Plutarch."

The blonde wanted to inquire as to just  _who_  Plutarch was but she decided against it. It would probably lead to her learning something new and who needed that?

Giving a amused smirk, Willow pulled a stuffed animal into her lap and made it dance. "How did you end up here anywhere? Faulty spell?"

"Rogue portal." Buffy said slowly. "It was supposed to kill me but...I dunno. Here I am instead."

"Well th--that's good. Cause death is...bad. Icky." The Wicca tilted her head to the side. "Wanna go freak Xander out?"

"Do you even have to ask?"

Ten minutes later both girls were strolling out of the elevator and down the hall of Xander's spiffy apartment. It was one of his few days off, so Willow was quite sure that he was going to spend it lazying about the house eating pancakes and watching soap operas, though he would always claim otherwise. Instead of knocking, she used her spare key and padded inside. There indeed sat Xander Harris on his sofa, staring intently at the tv while the noise of a vacuum filtered out of a back room.

"Hey." Willow called out. "Another VH1 behind the music special on NSync again?"

He glanced up. "No. And for the last time I..." Trailing off, he looked to Buffy and blinked quickly several times. Rubbing his eyes, he pushed the pillow he was holding to the side. "Who? What? Huh?"

Buffy gave a little wave. "Hi."

"But, you're dead! You died! Demon; is it a demon?" He stood abruptly.

"Nope. Just other dimension Buffy." Willow said in a sing song voice. "Other dimension us, not included."

He arched a brow. "Other dimension? Jiminy crickets." A pause. "Well um, hello. I'm Xander. It's nice to meet you." He spoke slowly as if she were slow or possibly deaf.

The blonde sent him a look. "I'm from another dimension. I don't ride the short bus to school." Smiling, she moved to a chair and sat down. "And I know you who are 'cause there is a Xander where I come from. We've been friends for a long time now."

"Ooh. Were we ever...more than friends?"

"Sorry, no. You've always been one of the girls."

Before he could reply, Anya swept into the room all blonde hair and bright eyes. She put the vacuum into the hall closet and sighed, noticing Buffy. "Who are you?"

"I'm Buffy." The Slayer responded. "Distant friend."

"Ah. Well I'm Anya, Xander's girlfriend." She said proudly. "I suppose I should offer you something to drink since you are a guest. Would you like anything to drink?"

"No thanks."

"Good. Now I don't have to tax myself making something. Yay."

Buffy grinned; yup she was most totally  _Anya_. "This might be an odd question but, are you by any chance scared of bunnies?"

Anya stared at her like she had three heads. "Bunnies? Well that's just stupid. Who in the world would ever be scared of bunnies?" As Buffy lowered her head, she continued. "Squirrels on the other hand, with their evil little beady eyes and hoarding of nuts; I hate them. Furry little demon seeds...if I had a car I would not brake for them."

Yup, most totally Anya.

~*~

The vampire in the ripped leather jacket rushed Buffy but she darted out of the way, tripping him as he went past. She then kicked his red pants wearing friend in the face and sent him stumbling back into a headstone. Swirling her stake from where she sat on the brick wall watching the petite blonde handle two creatures who were very much taller than her, Faith smirked. It was hella cool to see another Slayer in action, especially the first Slayer the Dale had ever had. Giles had often talked about Buffy; usually he was stone drunk though and mopin' about like a homeless person. Saw a lot of that after he got fired from the Counsel.

But back to Buffy, she was a gorgeous thing in action or maybe especially in action were the right words. Perfect high kicks and so flexible. Like a big cat playin' with a bumpy faced mouse. "Need any help?"

"No!" Buffy shouted as she punched Leather Jacket in the face. "I'm good."

"Aight." Faith chuckled. "Gotta say this is wicked, watchin' ya move. You don't just fight, ya got style."

"I--" She ducked a hit and grabbed Red Pants, tossing him into a tree. "Thanks. Never heard that before..."

The brunette grinned, swinging her legs. "Can't wait til we train tomorrow. Never went head to head with someone who could actually take me. Gonna be interestin' when I get my hands on ya."

"What? Ooh..." She jerked back a few steps after being hit in the face by Leather Jacket. "Excuse you!" Grumbling, she stalked up to him and began to pummel him. "We are trying..." Punch. "To have..." Punch. "A conversation..." Punch.

"Ahh!" He growled. "Who the hell are you anyway?"

Smiling, she whipped out her stake and plunged it into his chest. "Slayer comma the. Look it up."

Just as he started to poof into dust, his face contorted into confusion and he pointed to Faith. "But I thought she was the..." And he was gone.

As the brunette laughed, Buffy turned her sights on Red Pants who was just getting his wits about him. She flipped over to where he stood on wobbly legs and delivered a rough round house to his jaw, sending him spiraling over a low bush. Next she pounced on this waist, hit him once more for good measure and then staked him.

"Woo!" Faith clapped. "That was awesome. Do ya always pun when ya slay?"

Giggling, the other girl nodded. "Force of habit I guess." She sniffled and glanced around, then arched a brow. "Surprised you didn't jump in. Work up the double Hs."

"Eh to be honest, I don't need to slay to be hungry or horny. It just amps it up when I am."

"I fear you and your calmer attitude."

Faith snickered. "You're a real trip, Buffy."

The blonde felt herself get twitchy; she could literally hear the name floating around in her head. Over and over like a giant floaty head person, mocking her with its sharp tongue that knowing her name-ness.

"Okay I can't take this anymore!" Buffy shouted, throwing up both hands. "Enough is enough!"

Faith arched a brow. "Are you havin' some sort of mental crisis I should know bout? Do you need some pills?"

She sent her an  _are you kidding me_  look. "No it--the Faith I know doesn't call me Buffy unless something major is happening. Usually there is fighting or stabbing involved. She--well she calls me B."

"B?"

"Yeah. An--and I know it's a really stupid thing to--but--I like it. Call me, B."

The brunette gave a slow grin. "Aight,  _B_. C'mon let's go get some grub."


	3. Paying Respects

Chapter Three: Paying Respects

A few days passed and Buffy found herself right at home in alter Sunnydale. It was hard not to when it was nearly like  _her_  Sunnydale except for a few odd changes. The biggest non difference however were her friends who still acted very much like friends. They hung out with her and shared things with her; if it weren't for Dawn she would have guessed that the past year had been a dream and now things were right again.

Still she hoped that Dawn was okay back home. That the others were taking care of her. That she wasn't being a huge pain in the ass like she'd been to her. Not that she didn't love her sister because she did. Totally did. But, well it was nice to be an only child again even if it weren't real. It was nice to just...relax.

Oh...though there  _was_  Faith. Miss. Stable, lemme cook you dinner Faith. Man she was of the freaky here. She did her own laundry and she didn't  _live large_  on any vampires. She just fought them, staked them and moved on to the next. It didn't make sense!

Would she prefer the out of control wild child who tried to kill her? ...maybe. Hey she never said she was coloring with every crayon in the box. Just the really pretty ones.

Walking down the sunny streets, dressed in a pink halter top and white pants, she turned down a familiar road and slowly came to stop in front of a house. Her house. Or what would have been her house had she not went swimming with the fishes. 1630 Revello Drive. It was just the way it was supposed to be, perfect. Warm. Moderately safe depending on what day it was.

Idly she just stared at the structure; at the pretty curtains and the newly planted flowers around the walk way. The front door opened and two little boys ran out carrying dump trucks. They parked themselves in the dirt and began to play, not noticing her at all. She smiled and felt herself getting choked up but she wasn't sure why. Maybe it was because even though it was just a house, it still  _felt_  like her house. And it was nice to see her house happy.

Moving on before someone accused of her being a would be burglar or something, she strolled along past parked cars and then jogged briskly, rounding the twin iron gates of the cemetery. Carefully she treaded across the green grass and around graves before stopping to face a lovely gray headstone.

_Buffy Anne Summers_

_1981-1997_

_Beloved Daughter_

Total weirdness to be standing at her own grave. To know that under the ground in a hopefully stylish coffin, was a girl  _just_  like her. Was a girl that  _was_  her in many respects. The one who couldn't make it. But for the grace of Xander and his blowing air into her lungs.

Wetting her lips, she traced her name that was carved into the stone with her fingertips. Of course she was thinking it. It was hard not to think  _it_  when it was staring her in the face like giant clown head. That could have been her.

"I'm sorry." She whispered, not completely sure why she was apologizing.

Perhaps because there was guilt over living. Over being able to walk and talk, to eat yogurt. Over being able to take things for granted cause one assumes they have all the time in the world. Just more strange facets that were Buffy Summers in the realm of many.

She stared at the grave for a long while, letting her thoughts run rampant before finally moving on. No need to become Miss. Dwelly and cry over spilled milk. Who would cry over spilled milk away? Maybe a baby, though would a baby even be able to grasp the concept that its milk was spilled?

Rubbing her forehead, she snorted and strolled on the side walk and found herself entering the expansive Sunnydale Park. Two figures caught her eye near the middle, surrounded by Tupperware filled with an assortment of different goodies.

"Hey!" Willow smiled as Buffy walked up, waving to the spread blanket. "Want a cookie? Tara made them."

"No thanks, though I'm sure they are very yummy." She replied sitting down. "Still burnin' off the three course breakfast Faith made."

Tara smiled, tucking hair behind her ear. "Sh--she's a very good co--cook. I--I love her spaghetti." Pulling the sleeves of her blouse down over her knuckles, she cleared her throat. "So um, Willow told me about your um, ho--how you got here. Are you okay?"

Buffy nodded with a sigh. "I--I'm dealing. I mean it's not hard to be here considering I still got my buds, but there is other stuff. Not...bad stuff but stuff." She played with a few blades of grass. "I stopped by my--her old house and then I went by her grave."

The red head blinked. "That's kinda...morbid-ee."

She nodded again. "Yeah, it is. But I felt like I owed her or something. Five minutes are all that stand between us."

Willow rubbed her shoulder. "But ma--maybe things were supposed to be this way. I--I mean considerin' you're still alive and kicking. Destiny is a funny thing."

"I'm not sure it  _was_  destiny. I think it was more chance. I mean I  _did_  die, just like her. The only difference is that I got back up."

"You can't beat yourself up over that though. If some freak portal hadn't dropped you here, you wouldn't even know the what's what."

"True. But if I--she'd lived long enough, you'd know this is kinda modus operand-Buffy."

She smiled and leaned back on her elbows. "Well I think you should just relax until you can get home. Think of it as a vacation."

The blonde shrugged. "I guess I could. Do a little sunbathin', a little shoppin'." She lowered her voice. "I think Carly is sweet for letting me borrow some of her clothes but, I'd rather have my own."

"Still into fashion, huh? Sounds like the Buff I knew." Willow itched at her wrist. "But it's cool Carly is bein' nice to you. She's a peach to the gang."

Buffy nodded, then chewed on her bottom lip. Since curiosity killed the cat and not the Slayer, it appeared that it would be alright for her to pry. Prying was harmless. "It's weird to think of Faith with her. I--I mean it's weird to think of Faith all serious with anyone. Really reminds me that I'm in this Twilight Zone of a Sunnydale."

"They are so cute together." Tara replied with a smile. "Yo--you can tell they really li--like each other."

Willow flicked an ant away. "Remember how Xander freaked out, thinkin' he'd be next to 'turn' gay? I told him that was my master plan, gay up the world."

"Have they been together long?" Buffy asked, mostly making conversation.

"Um kinda. Almost a year or somethin' like that." The Wicca mused. "We can't really be sure cause they broke up somewhere along the line."

"Why?"

"Well, um, Faith had a wonderin' eye. Once."

_Sounds more like the Faith I know._  "Oh. It--it happens."

"True. And Carly forgave her so I guess things are even stevens now."

"Do you think they will like, last or whatever? Be together for oodles and oodles of time? Own tea cozies?"

"Honestly? Naah. They mesh well bu--but from what we know of Faith, she needs  _pop_. Says that's where the fire comes from."

~*~

Training in the back of the magic shop had been Faith's idea, and Buffy had thought nothing of it considering it was just training. She also figured that she'd beat her if the past was any indication to their usual behavior. However she found herself more or less pleasantly surprised.

Alter Faith was much more poised in her actions. She telegraphed moves and threw no punches. She was much more controlled as well, and not simply letting loose with the fury. There was fury of course because that was one of the points of being a Slayer, but Buffy could tell the difference a decent upbringing made. She could always pick out the things that Giles had instilled in Faith, because they were things he'd hammered into her head as well.

Yet here she was, flat on her back with her knees to her chest, her arms being held down on either side of her head. Faith was on top of her and looking down with a smirky grin, flashing those cute dimples in her cheeks. Her long dark hair was pinned back in a messy bun and her attire was less bad ass today; a simple white tank top and tight yoga pants. They had only been sparring for about twenty minutes, but both females were panting, their chests heaving but their muscles not even a bit tired.

Ignoring the odd butterflies that had just entered her stomach, Buffy kicked her leg up and flipped the brunette off of her forcefully but gently. In seconds they were both on their feet, taking their fighting stances. Faith lunged at the blonde and delivered a punch which she ducked, smiling and tossing the hair out of her bright green eyes. She spin kicked, feeling her foot be batted away before it connected with a strong shoulder.

"You're good." Faith replied, holding her hands up in the  _time out_  gesture.

"Thanks." She chuckled, wiping at her sweaty neck. "So are you."

"Ya seemed surprised."

"Um, well uh, I guess I just didn't expect for you to be  _so_  good."

The brunette stretched and cracked her knuckles. "Is that why ya agreed to take me on?"

She had the decency to be embarrassed. "Maybe a little. I thought we'd train and then I could regal you with techniques or something. I've been told that I am weird."

"Yeah." Faith moved over to a bench and sat down. "But it's aight. I ain't exactly normal myself. And it was still hot to go up against someone like me."

Sighing, Buffy sat down beside her and fiddled with her gloves. "Yeah. I forgot how much fun it can be when you don't have to hold back."

"Who do ya think would win between the two of us?"

"I--I dunno. Really don't wanna find out."

The brunette noticed her expression and nodded, touching her shoulder. "No worries. Got no plans to bitch smack ya."

She smiled, trying erase the scene behind her eyes from that night on the roof. "So um, what happened to Cordelia here?"

"She's in L.A. tryin' to do the actin' thing. I've seen her on a couple of commercials."

"Guess that means she doesn't work with Angel."

"Wouldn't know. Never talked to him. Though I bet if ya gave him a call he'd freak the hell out."

"Although that would be fun, I'll stick to Sunnydale."

"Heard Giles say he's not sure he can get cha home. Must be rough."

"Not really. I've got really good company here to keep me busy."

~*~

The alter Bronze was just like the one she knew, expect everything was on the opposite side she was used to. It was as if someone picked it up and sat it around ass backwards. But the music was the same and the people having fun were the same, so things were good.

Maneuvering through the crowd with Faith holding to her wrist and pulling her along, she couldn't help but think about the last time they'd danced together. No. The last time she'd danced with Faith from her side of the other world tracks. The night had started out so good and then...badness. One wrong move sent them spiraling down into a vat of doom. Who knows what things may have happened if that  _had not_  happened?

Frowning at that weird thought, she continued to follow the brunette until they were at a suitable location in the mix of the people. One thing that hadn't changed was Faith's love of dancing and blowing off steam. They'd both agreed to rip it up after the training session. To just relax and have a bit of fun. Seeing no harm since nothing bad could occur this time, Buffy'd relented and here they were.

The song thumping from the speakers was loud and angry, with a hectic yet underlying techno beat. Faith wasted no time with words, instead just jumping into the dancing. Her long brown curls swung across her face as her body snaked and curved to the music. So far it was the only thing that didn't have Buffy's head doing the wacky. Faith plus dancing equaled her understanding, the rest didn't amount to a hill of beans in this one horse town.

_'I think too much.'_  She thought idly, then shook her head. Dancing. Right. Doing that.

Wiping her mind clean, she fell into step with the brunette and it felt like old times. Their bodies fit so well together, even though it was very much unintentionally. It was like they just gravitated closer until skin rubbed skin, causing small electric shocks. It all felt so natural, especially for Buffy. She would have found being pressed closed to any woman that wasn't Faith strange, but because it was her  _in a way_ , there was no strange-ness about it. Just a deep rooted nostalgia that she had not even realized existed before.

Kinda like with the whole not being called  _B_  thing. You don't miss something until it's gone...forever.

And even though it had never truly occurred to her, she knew quite clearly that some part of her missed Faith. Probably the crazy part that helped her block out the idea of Giles and her mom having sex on the hood of a police car. Twice! Yeah Faith had did bad stuff but not all of it had been bad. Some of it had been down right...amazing.

A voice off to the side however broke her thoughts. "Can I cut in?"

Buffy looked over to see Carly with a cute smile on her face. "Oh--oh sure. I--I'm gonna get a soda." She then hurried towards the left, only to have to make her way to the right. Stupid opposite Bronze.

Leaning against the bar, Buffy ordered a Coke and then turned her attention to where Carly and Faith grinded with each other. They looked...she wasn't sure how they looked. Sexy would have been a good word, because they were both very pretty. But something was just off. There was an off-ness about them that she couldn't put her finger on. Sure they obviously liked each other, that was a given. Still...off-ness.

It was most likely because she wasn't used to alter Faith and her alter Faith ways. Or maybe it was because she could feel the ugly pig head of guilt wanting to rear itself whenever she thought about how stable Faith was here. And all because the Scoobies here gave a damn, pushed her to be the best person she could be. Even Giles was being like a Pop to her.

Maybe not killing Alan Finch was just one colored square on the rubix cube of their relationship. She could have came back from it. She was on her way until Wesley screwed it all up. All Faith had ever wanted was to be accepted, but she'd been too jealous to notice or to care. Yet with her dead, everyone else noticed and cared.

"I suck." She murmured, sitting down on a stool.

Well it was time to make up for all she had lost. This was like her second chance in a way to get to know what was under the abrasiveness she'd gotten from her Faith. To be her friend for a change instead of her enemy. She wasn't sure why that was suddenly so important now but it was.

After all, maybe that was the whole point of her trip to Oz in the first place. A total life do over. Didn't seem so bad when she thought of it that way. Too bad she hadn't went back to her pre Parker days though. She could have stopped herself from sleeping with him and saved herself a lot of money, what with not buying tons of ice cream to ease her pain. Oh well. Maybe next year.


	4. No Hurry For Home

Chapter Four: No Hurry For Home

Faith sat in a chair in the basement of the magic shop, her feet propped up onto the table in front of her. Idly she flipped through the pages of the glossy magazine, circling the weapons that caught her eye. She could hear the others above her as they moved around, or as Anya forced them to help with the incoming customers. Hence why she was hidin' out. Retail was never her gig, and she didn't want a repeat of last time when she told some lady to stick her chicken's feet where the sun don't shine.

She nodded her head to the music drifting from her ipod, chewing on her bottom lip as she tried to decide on which cross bow would be the most effective against a demon. The big one or the _really_ big one? She tapped her pen on her jeans covered thigh, her brown eyes shifting to the wooden stairs as footsteps broke though the sounds of Deftone's cover of _No Ordinary Love._

Buffy jogged down into the room, pulling at the tiny straps of her baby blue camisole. She headed over to an old shelf and stared at it, dragging her hands up and down along the sides of her tan pants. She gawked at the weird things in the various jars, her face scrunched in concentration.

The brunette smirked and turned back to her magazine, ripping out the order form in the back. She could tell that the blonde was trying to be all discreet and look at her, though to be honest she was failin'. And is wasn't the first time of course. She'd watched her and Carly for the rest of the night at the Bronze, sipping her coke and pretendin' to be looking elsewhere when she glanced over. Must be hard for her though...dealin' with a new world and shit. Seein' people she knew act different. Seein' people she'd written off all...normal.

The whole idea of other dimensions and shit really interested her, though not enough to like study them or whatever. But it really made her think about her life and how different it could be. How she could have easily freaked the fuck out if it hadn't been for Giles and his crew layin' the responsibility on thick. She'd never exactly admit it, but she was glad they'd stepped up. Glad she had people she could count on in a tight fix.

Pushing those thoughts away since they weren't really her deal, she yawned and stretched her arms over her head. She filled in the blank spaces on the form, giving Giles' addy for where she wanted the stuff to be delivered. Just needed to get the cash part down.

She heard a dejected groan and snickered, putting her feet on the floor. Itching at her cheek, she cleared her throat and pulled out her right ear bud. "Lookin' for somethin'?"

Buffy glanced over and nodded. "Um yeah. Do you know where the crocodile eyes are?"

"Top shelf." She motioned with her head.

The blonde looked up, then pouted. "I think Giles discriminates against short people. Is there a step ladder around?"

Cracking her knuckles, Faith put down her things and stood, strolling over to where everything was. She crowded Buffy's space, but it was her own fault for not movin' out of the way. She just pressed back to the shelf with eyes like a deer caught in massive head lights.

Being an inch or so taller than the other Slayer, Faith stood on her tippy toes and finagled the container down, catching it before it hit the floor. "Here ya go."

Buffy took it and smiled, quickly moving to the side. "Thanks. I--I'll just um...yeah." Turning, she rounded the staircase and headed back up into the main area.

She didn't look back because she knew if she did, Faith would probably be smirking like the smart ass she was, with those smart ass-y dimples. What had that even been, anyway? Okay so yeah she couldn't reach the eyeballs and yes she'd needed help. And maybe it didn't cross her mind to actually move, but it wasn't like she had to press against her to get them. She could have used a stick or...yodeled.

 _'You're making a mountain out of a mole hill'._ Her mind told her. _'Or is it a glacier out of an ice cube?'_

Point; well she didn't really have one to be honest. It was just odd to have Faith so close and there be no ulterior motive. No knives or punches. Just Faith, smelling good and looking good and...being good.

"Buffy, do you have my crocodile eyes? The customer wants them and if she doesn't get them, she won't give us money. And we need money. It's _money_." Anya said expectantly as she wandered back onto the main floor.

Snapping back to attention, she placed the jar onto the counter. "Here ya go."

"Yay." The other blonde smiled. "We are very busy today; I love it so much."

"Yeah it's nice." Buffy chuckled. She walked over to the round table where everyone was and sat down. "What cha guys doing?"

Willow gestured to all of the books. "Just looking into portals and such. There are like many ways to open one but...well...it being the right one is the tricky part."

Tara nodded. "Yeah. We could send you home or t--to Guam. Or a world of nothing but shrimp."

The Slayer made a face. "Could you send me to a world of nothing but designer clothes?"

"Not sure that exists. Bu--but there is a world of nothing but shiny stuff." She grinned, tucking hair behind her ear.

"That could work too." Buffy drummed her fingers on the table. "I wanna get home but, I dunno. Not really worried. I--I mean it's not like I'm burning in hell or floatin' around without a head. I'm...comfy."

Xander spoke up. "But what about the 'us' back there? Don't cha think they are worried about you?"

 _Probably_. "Yeah, I'm sure they are. But I know them. Will is no doubt trying to find a way to get me back from wherever I might have went. They are all probably in research mode or whatever."

"Sounds to me like you like it here."

"It doesn't suck."

"Didja hear that guys? We don't suck! To non sucking!"

"Ha ha."

"I--I think it's okay if you li--like it here." Tara related softly. "Maybe it's cause of Faith."

Buffy's head jerked up. "What do you mean? Why would she make me like it here?"

The shy blonde bit her bottom lip. "Cause--cause you can just sit back and let her do all the work."

"Oh." That made sense. "I guess. I do enjoy gettin' to be a bum for a bit. Especially after everything that I went through before I got here."

Willow pulled at her earring. "Then don't let us poop on your party. Yo--you relax and enjoy yourself. You'll get home...eventually."

"And if not, you might get to enjoy some tasty shrimp every day for the rest of your life." Xander mused, then caught their expressions. "What?"

~*~

Sitting on the couch at Giles' apartment, Buffy yawned loudly and closed the incredibly boring book. She placed it on the table and sighed, rubbing the back of her sore neck. It wasn't that she _didn't_ wanna go home because she did. She totally did but, she just wasn't stressing it. Which was not of the norm since she could stress like no one else on the planet. But everyone she knew was here, and they weren't pod people. She didn't feel left out or unloved at all, so it made it hard to tell the difference sometimes.

Especially since things were more or less how they used to be now before Dawn showed up. If she closed her eyes and pretended Faith was a figment of her imagination.

Although..."Hey, Faith?"

The brunette poked her head out of the fridge. "Hey, what?"

"You guys didn't happen to have to fight some kinda Hell God, did you?"

"Heh yeah. Dude was like, psycho. But makes sense I guess, what with him eatin' dog brains."

"Was his name Glory by any chance?"

"Nope. They called him Honoricon."

"And he was looking for a key that monks turned into a human?"

"Um, no. He was lookin' for a lock that turned out to be the hellmouth."

Buffy arched a brow. "Wait, what?"

Faith straightened up and closed the refrigerator door. "He wanted to make our world into his world, but he needed the hellmouth to do it. So we opened it, let it loose on his ass and then fought it back down after it ate him."

She blinked slowly, processing the news. "The lock was the hellmouth itself? Wow that's so weird. I mean, no it's just really weird." She paused, turning and leaning over the back of the sofa. "Where I'm from, it was this nut job named Glory. And these monk dudes turned the key into--well my little sister because they knew I'd protect it with my life. Gave her memories and all sorts of things. Her blood opened the portal that sent me here."

"She bite it?" The younger girl asked, and Buffy shook her head no. "Hm."

"I've been thinking about my death here, and how much it's changed things. Everything is going good; kinda makes me wonder if I really made a difference with the whole living thing." The blonde replied, seemingly out of nowhere.

The brunette popped open a can of soda. "Sure ya did. And do. Don't really think ya can compare the two anyways. The things that went down here weren't like the Dale where you live. Apples and oranges, babe."

"Aha!" They heard from the bedroom. Giles emerged with _what else_ but a book, flipping the dusty pages quickly as he skimmed over them. He glanced at the two girls and smiled. "I think I may have found a way to help discover which energy will get you home, Buffy."

"Oh?" She didn't sound too enthusiastic. "What's that?"

"Well it uh--it's a spell of course, and I shall need a few things. One being the bones of a corpse at least one hundred years old." He explained matter-of-factly. "A skull preferably."

Faith tilted her head to the side. "You want us to go grave robbin'?"

He shrugged slightly. "It's not grave robbing. You can return it after I am done with it. Besides..." He trailed off. "...not like whoever is still using it."

Buffy chuckled. "That's one of the reasons why they called you _Ripper_ , wasn't it?"

He blushed and cleaned his glasses with a handkerchief. "Be that as it may, there are quite a few mausoleums around Sunnydale so it should not be hard to find at least one skull in uh...moderate condition."

Swigging down some of her drink, Faith shook out her shoulders. "Aight, G. Might as well hit 'em up since we got nothin' better to do." Grabbing up her leather jacket, she headed for the door. "Ya comin', B?"

She nodded and pulled herself up, smoothing down her top. She slipped on her own khaki colored coat and they were off. They walked in silence for the most part towards the cemetery that was the nearest. In a town with more than ten, they didn't have to be picky. Which was disturbing in more ways than one.

The grass was soft underneath their feet as they entered the wrought iron gates and looked out at all of the many headstones. The moon was high above, mist rose up from the dew drop ground, giving the area a higher creep factor than usual. Buffy jerked when Faith hit her shoulder and started for a large mausoleum with the name _Evans_ carved into the smooth marble. She mumbled and followed her, keeping her eyes alert for any vampires that may be around. She didn't see any fresh graves, but that never stopped the undead.

Faith forced open the heavy door and stepped in, waving gnats out of her face. She slid up beside the stone coffin and jimmied the lid to the side, peering down at some dead guy. Or what was left of some dead guy. "Least he doesn't smell like pork and beans."

Buffy fought off a long spider's web that had attacked her hair. "Why would he smell like pork and beans?"

"Dunno. But I've met a few corpses that had a bean like quality to 'em." She reached inside and yanked up the skull, then turned to the blonde and made it talk. "Wanna come over here and gimme some head? Get it... _head_..."

The blonde snorted at the lame joke, but laughed in spite of herself. "You should take that act on the road with Carrot Top."

"Ouch." She smirked, grabbing her chest. "Your words cut like knives, B."

 _Hehehe_. B. "Uh, let's go. The sooner we get that back to Giles, the sooner I can eat those cookies he has hid in the back of his cabinet."

"Yeah, aight." Faith agreed. She made for the door, then cursed and pushed it closed the best she could. "We got a problem."

"What's that?" Buffy inquired slowly. "Vamps? Demons? Security?"

"Demons. Four."

"Why are they a problem? We kill them, remember? Punchy punchy, stab stab."

"These dudes are wicked rowdy, and they don't play fair. Best to just chill here and let 'em pass for now."

Buffy was shocked to see Faith wanting to hide from _anything_. Usually she just jumped in with guns blazing and decided the out come at a moment's notice. In fact she remembered the whole "if you don't come in after me, I might die" spiel she'd spouted off a few weeks after they'd met. And it couldn't be because she was scared--that just did not compute in her brain. Yet there she was, trying to wedge the lid off the crypt more so that she could fit into it.

"You're hiding? Am I missing something?" She asked, confused. "It's two against four. Two Slayers against four demons, we could kick their asses."

"Believe me B, the last thing I wanna do is be layin' in this crap. Trust me though, they aren't just regular demons." Faith replied as she dragged her over to the coffin. "Giles doesn't know the deal with 'em yet, but we know they hit like hurricanes and break bones on contact. I'd rather not have my jaw dislocated again til I can figure out the master plan." She crawled over into sarcophagus, kicking bones out of her way. "C'mon. Get in."

The blonde balked. "I am not gettin' in there. Eww factor aside, I'm pretty sure we should just try to beat them anyway."

Faith scowled, making lines appear between her brows. Not bothering to respond, she simply grabbed Buffy's arm and pulled her over the side like a rag doll. A struggling, bitching rag doll but a rag doll all the same. She then edged the lid nearly back into place and listened carefully as the demons stalked around outside of the area speaking in their odd language.

Buffy was--she was pretty sure she was mad but with the whole being on top of Faith, she was finding it hard to concentrate on just one emotion. She'd never been this close to another girl before, not even in a joking way. And it didn't help that her shirt had rode up, so she could feel the hot softness of Faith's stomach against her own. She knew that it was illogical to actually be slightly nervous. There was _nothing_ to be nervous about! Couldn't a girl lay on top of another girl in a platonic way?

Yes. Yes she could if they were friends. Though she didn't know many friends who did that. She'd certainty never laid on Willow like that. She'd never laid on Xander like that either for that matter.

Grumbling, she tried to lift her head but the back hit the lid. "Oww..."

"Shh..." Faith shushed her, her hands on her lower back. "The whole point of hidin' is to not be found. Runnin' ya trap kinda defeats the purpose, ya dig?"

"Whatever." She whispered, trying to stay still. If she moved she could feel the material of the other girl's jeans rub against the crotch of her pants, and although it wasn't unpleasant by any means, she couldn't justify thinking it was right either. "Can't believe we are doing this. The Faith I know would be out there right now, putting her foot in their faces."

"No wonder she ended up in jail." The brunette remarked, her voice husky and low. "Chick needs to practice restraint. 'Sides you think I wanna be in here? Hell no, but I also don't wanna get my ass kicked again."

"So why am I in here?"

"See no reason to let you get yours kicked either."

The theme of the _Twilight Zone_ suddenly popped up into her head, but she ignored it. It wasn't all that strange to think of Faith, _any_ Faith looking out for her. Even after her Faith had killed Alan Finch and decided to skip town, she'd still stopped Trick from biting her. And in the whole dream scape thing, she'd given her the knowledge it took to bring down the Mayor. So it sort of proved that the emotion or ability for her to care was there, maybe just buried deeply beneath a host of other things. Rage and depression being at the top of the list.

Raising her head the best she could, she stared at the girl under her, tracing her face with her eyes. She'd always found her pretty; Faith had always had defined yet delicate features. Especially her lips. Her supple, pouty lips. And her eyes had always been so dark unless she was standing in sunlight, then they'd flare to a warm honey brown. She couldn't count the time those eyes had looked at her with nothing but trouble swimming around, though not always the bad kind.

Yet right now they were dusky, reflecting the glow of the small shaft of moonlight that just barely hit them.

"You aight?" Faith asked.

Actually, suddenly her mouth had went dry. "Um, why do you ask?"

"I can feel ya heart racin'." The brunette pointed out. "Claustrophobic?"

Buffy shifted despite the friction it caused, her lashes fluttering. "No..."

"Want me to get on top?"

"What?"

"Would you feel more comfortable on the bottom? Less squished..."

 _Brain. Refusing. To. Work._ "No I--I'm good." Something was happening. She wasn't sure what it was, but it was here and it was happening, making the air in the small enclosed space even warmer. Thoughts she'd never had before were whizzing through her head, clouding her mind and dancing behind her eyes. Stupid thoughts.

She wet her lips slowly, the action drawing Faith's attention to them. They were so close...much closer than the dancing they'd did the other night. And there was no music to deflect the situation. Just body against body and flesh against flesh. Maybe it was the atomosphere or the threat of danger outside the door, in any case it was causing the tiny hairs on the back of her neck to stand up.

She blamed them for her next move, pushing shiny locks out of Faith's face and tucking them behind her ear.

"I think they're gone." The brunette said several seconds later.

"Who?" Buffy questioned. "Oh! The demons. Right."

Faith smirked and reached up, pushing the stone lid to the side to give them enough room to get out. Buffy all but leapt out and stumbled into the open. The younger girl jumped out, pulling cobwebs off her clothes. "Gotta say B, I don't usually get horizontal with a chick til she buys me dinner first."

The blonde tried to play down the butterflies in her stomach. "What makes me the exception?"

She shrugged. "Dunno really. Guess I got a hidden jones for lil blonde things. Anyway let's go before they double back."

Nodding, Buffy watched her walk out and then exhaled, trying to get her bearings. There had to be some kind of explanation for the wackiness that had just ensued. Yeah. The portal--it had did weird things to her. Things that she was totally gonna look into tomorrow.

After all, if Giles didn't have books on spontaneous and unwanted attraction, the magic shop probably did.


	5. Feelings Of Oddness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't been keeping up with this like I said I would, sorry! I've been a lazy daisy. =) But I'm glad people are enjoying it!

Chapter Five: Feelings Of Oddness

Tinkering in the kitchen the following morning woke Buffy from an interesting dream where she was on a beach in Hawaii, and there was a Faith on either side of her. One was rubbing suntan lotion into the skin of her back while the other fed her strawberries. As she wiped the sleep from her eyes and yawned loudly, she couldn't decide if it had been a good dream or something on the verge of a nightmare. She groaned, sitting up on the couch and pushing blonde strands of hair out of her face.

Carly stood at the stove dressed in lacy hipster undies and a matching camisole, her pretty black curls up in a perky ponytail. She appeared to be making breakfast, but it didn't smell like anything Buffy had ever had before. She watched as Faith sauntered out of the bathroom, dragging her fingers through her wet hair. She walked up behind the other girl and kissed the exposed skin of her neck, her hands sliding around her stomach and down towards her crotch.

Carly giggled and tried to wiggle to the side. "Faith...I'm cooking."

"Never stopped us before." Faith snickered, still nibbling. "Just spread ya legs and I'll do the rest..."

" _Faith_!"

" _Carly!_ "

" _Buffy_!"

Both girls turned and glanced at the blonde, who cleared her throat. "Oh, I--I thought we were playing a game. My bad."

The brunette chuckled, slicking her tongue along her bottom lip. "Mornin', B. How'd ya sleep?"

She shrugged nonchalantly. "Pretty well. You?"

"Same." Her lips curled into a smirk. "Had a kick ass dream..."

Even though she didn't know this Faith  _that_  well, she totally picked up on the meaning that was hiding behind the simple sentence. It was all in the smirk--the  _I have a secret_  smirk that humans had perfected over the years. Sure Faith had a girlfriend who was standing no more than three feet away, but Carly didn't know about what had happened last night. The... _incident_...as she was going to start calling it. Or what she would call it if she thought about it anymore, which she so wasn't gonna do.

There was no reason to cause--cause there just wasn't. If they hadn't hid from the demons, there would have been serious pummeling. She could be all bruised and maybe even dismembered right now. Though whether she could be alive and dismembered, she was not sure. Yes. A lot of people survived without their members.

Wait...

Shaking her head, she folded her arms over her chest. "So um, I need to go to the magic shop. I guess I should be doing that then."

Carly smiled cheerily. "Aww don't you have time for breakfast?"

"I--I'll get a muffin on the way. I like muffins, they are muffiny." Buffy tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "Thanks anyway." She then headed into the bathroom and closed the door, leaning against it.

Whenever something remotely wiggy happened to her, the wires connecting to her brain and her mouth always tended to short circuit. It really was a miracle that she had managed to stay alive this long, especially when she played up to the blonde stereotype. And yes there were days when she'd tripped while trying to chew gum and walk at the same time.

Wetting her lips, she turned on the shower and hoped there was some hot water left. She then stepped under the warm flow, letting it wash away her crazy and everything else that might be clinging to her skin. Try as she might, she couldn't get away from the feelings she'd had while stuck in that coffin. Those fluttery in the stomach feelings--if there had been a mirror around she wouldn't have been surprised if she'd discovered she'd been blushing.

From mortification of course...and nothing else.

Certainty not the sensation of that denim zipper rubbing against her private areas. Or how good she'd smelled, surprisingly more girlie than was to be expected.

"I take it back." She said to no one but the running water. "Being that close to Faith and  _not_  getting punched is way scarier."

Why it was scarier? Well that is what the Magic Box would help her find out.

~*~

Willow stood off to the side with a brow raised, her big eyes studying Buffy from where she stood, surveying the books. Her forehead was creased with lines as she read over the titles, her teeth worrying her bottom lip. It was obvious that she had no idea what she was looking for or looking at for that matter. Which made a little sense because the other Buffy had not been very good with Latin either.

"Um, need some help?" She asked after a moment.

The blonde itched at her cheek and nodded. "Uh, well, kinda. See I--I kinda have this...question."

"Wh--what kinda question?"

"Could--could say the portal have um, did somethin' to me?"

"Like what? You mean like psychically?"

"Uh...okay."

The Wicca chuckled lightly. "Well you seem to have all of your limbs and opposable thumbs. What's wrong?"

The Slayer glanced around slowly to make sure no one was listening. "Let's say hypothetically that, suddenly I were having feelings of oddness. And I'm pretty sure they weren't there before I took my giant leap. I--I mean I was never  _aware_..." Trailing off, she shook her head. "I think I have a point. No I--I do. I guess I just wanna make sure I'm still normal."

"Do these feelings of oddness make you dizzy or have shortness of breathe?" Willow inquired, and the blonde shook her head. "Have you blacked out since coming here? O--or seen little green men trying to steal your underwear?"

Buffy blinked. "Um, no." She twiddled her thumbs. "I'm healthy and I have no boo boos. I wonder though if I'm still chocked full of sane like I was before."

The red head grinned. "Maybe if I knew  _exactly_  what you were talking about.  _Exactly_."

A pause. "Erm. It's nothing. Just me being strange again. Haha strange Buffy."

Willow tilted her head to the side. "Okay. But if you ever wanna talk about stuff, lemme know."

The other girl nodded and watched as she descended the black staircase, back out onto the main floor. She sighed and mentally kicked herself for being such an idiot. She knew she could talk to  _this_  Willow about anything, just like the other one, but she wasn't sure how to even begin to brooch the subject.  _Gee, last night I had warm fuzzies for Faith_  just seemed hollow. That's why she had to prove it was some side effect of being thrown into another dimension. Yeah, that's it. Whose to say she wouldn't get the warm fuzzies for anyone that she was on top of?

Did that sound as wrong in reality as it did in her head?

Leaning over the railing, she gazed down at the few customers. At Anya frittering from person to person, telling them about the latest sales on chicken feet and different kinda herbs. Xander sat at the table with his feet on top, flipping idly through some magazine. Tara was being her usual helpful self, dusting off shelves and putting things in their rightful places, while Willow looked on lovingly. And Giles was behind the register, ringing people up and bagging their purchases.

_'Sometimes it's hard to tell I'm not home'_. She thought absently.  _'Everything is just so...familiar."_

That of course also made it slightly scary. Although she didn't want to think about what the others had said yesterday, she couldn't help herself. She was comfortable here, and the more comfortable she became, the less she would wanna go home. Why return when she had everything she needed here? She could be selfish and only have to worry about herself; not Dawn or anyone else for that matter with another Slayer already protecting the streets. Yes she loved her little sister with her whole heart, and would do anything for her, but temptation was not an easy vice to kick.

Especially when one day you just wake up with a sibling, and then another you wake up without one. It things feel like a dream.

It was horrible to think, but she couldn't stop the racing of her brain. As long as it didn't make her a bad person however, wanting  _that bit of something_  for herself. She figured it didn't since usually she was more or less alright with sacrificing for the greater good. That was just how the life of a Slayer was; the needs of the many outweighed the needs of the few.

The bell jingled over the front door and she felt herself tense up.  _Speaking of temptation_... Faith breezed in mid yawn, covering her mouth with her hand. She nodded to everyone inside and plopped down at the table across from Xander, commenting on what he was reading. Her expressive brown eyes glanced around as if she were searching for something, and as they lifted to the small balcony area, she grinned. Obviously she'd found it.

Buffy scowled before she could stop, but not because she was angry. Far from it actually. She scowled because that adorable grin made her wanna grin. Made her happy that Faith was happy to see her. Which was normal because shouldn't a person be happy when other people were happy they like, alive?

Tucking hair behind her ear, she turned and stared at the books. Books were good. They brought forth the knowledge and pushed away the dumb. They did not however, push away the other Slayer.

"Sup, B." Faith mused with an armful of said books. "Anya wants these back in the restricted section."

"Hi." The blonde nodded and began to put them away. Thank goodness for alphabetical order.

"Didja get what cha came here for?"

"Not really, but I decided not to worry about it for a while. It was just a fluke."

"Really? Cause...seems to me like you're a little amped."

"What? No. How did you get that from what I said?"

The brunette shrugged rather harmlessly. "You're a lil twitchy. Have been since last night."

She wasn't twitchy! She had  _never_  been twitchy. "I don't know what you are talkin' about."

And then something happened that she had never expected. Faith started to apologize. "Look, I'm sorry if I freaked ya out, aight? With the coffin and bein' close thing. I know not everyone is down with non opposite sex touchin', not that it was like that." She drug her full bottom lip from between her teeth. "I want ya to know, I wasn't like, comin' on to ya or anythin'."

"Oh." Was that disappoint in her voice? "I mean oh, I knew that. It was all about being safe and stuff."

Tilting her head to the side, she smirked. "Well, it wasn't  _all_  about bein' safe." Winking, she headed back down to join everyone else.

_Ooh boy._

It was statements like that one that made Buffy a bit uncomfortable. And confused. It totally had a double meaning, which sucked because she didn't even know what the first meaning was. Also was she being serious or was it just a  _thing_?

Curiosity kinda made her wanna find out. Common sense told her she should just leave it alone.

Yeah...like she was gonna listen to  _that_  kill joy.


	6. Who Are You?

Chapter Six: Who Are You?

_Buffy stood in the doorway of her home, staring into the openness of her room. The sun was shining through the window, hitting off the pretty shiny things on her vanity. Mr. Gordo sat in the middle of her bed as happy as ever, leaning back against the pillows. The carpet was soft beneath her feet, and she dug her toes in, wiggling them with a small sigh. This wasn't real of course. There was no way she was in this house, because this house was occupied by a nice family with cute children. And she didn't remembering breaking in and kicking them out. So that could only mean one thing._

_She was dreaming._

_Since arriving in Alter Sunnydale, she hadn't dreamed of her home once. She barely thought of it if she could help it, because she knew dwelling would make her feel all mopey. And she didn't need to feel mopey when her comfort level was higher than it had ever been. This was her vacation, and who in their right mind thought of sad things on their vacation? So she was looking at her adventure in this dimension through rose colored glasses...so much so that she didn't wanna ever take them off._

_It's just...everything was_ so _easy here. For most of her life she'd had it hard, fighting off the forces of darkness sometimes two at a time. Here, she didn't have to do that if she didn't want. She could sit back on a tombstone and watch the_ other _Slayer take 'em out. Odd; but she was perfectly fine doing just that for a while._

_Smiling, she sat down on her bed and smoothed a hand on the white bed spread. "I miss you. You were so much more comfy than Faith's sofa."_

_"Ouch. I'm hurt." A husky voice chuckled._

_Buffy glanced up, blinking. "Faith? Wha--um--whaaat are you doing here?"_

_The brunette shrugged as she strolled inside, looking around. "Dunno. I was dreamin' that I was like spinnin' records at some party, and then poof. Next thing I know I'm out in the hall." She tilted her head to the side. "Question; how do_ I _know I'm dreamin' and where are we?"_

_The blonde sighed. "This would be a Slayer dream, but joint. And this house would be my house--at least back in my world."_

_"Usually my 'work' dreams are less...mellow." Faith smirked, shoving her hands into her back pockets. "And less coherent. Sometimes I'm fightin' a giant Elmo."_

_"You're disturbing."_

_"So I've been told. But dude, he's kinda scary. A little red monsta that sounds like a baby...just sayin'."_

_Buffy laughed lightly. "The last dream I had with yo--with Faith was about three years ago. She helped me defeat the Mayor."_

_The other girl nodded. "Good to know I'm not all bad."_

_Green eyes lifted, and for a moment she had a weird feeling. A sinking feeling. "N--no. I think the bad times were neck and neck with the good. But you know how things go, you always end up remembering the bad better than the good. Plus people tend to focus on their own pain rather than what someone else is also going through."_

_"Yeah, I get that. It's easier." Faith mused idly. "But, didja ever wonder what could've been? If she hadn't screwed up..."_

_"Honestly? I did, more now after seein' the other side of the tracks. And it wasn't just her who screwed up..."_

_"Mostly her."_

_"It takes two people to ruin what could have been...nice."_

_"Well yo, maybe you'll get a chance to make amends."_

_"I doubt she'd accept a 'sorry' from me. The last time she tried to apologize to me I told her I'd beat her to death."_

_"You're wicked rowdy. Time changes people though. So does prison."_

_"I guess. I don't even know where to begin..."_

_"How bout with, 'hey'."_

_"You think that would work?"_

_"Don't see why not. You could start with sorry I kicked ya ass all those times, but it lacks flare."_

_Buffy chuckled and stood, running a hand through her full hair. "I'll admit, I feel kinda guilty for gettin' along with you so well, when things between her and I were so...meh."_

_A slow snicker. "Heh, somethin' tells me that ain't the only thing ya feel guilty for."_

_The older female arched a brow, her cheeks growing hot. "Wh--I don't know what you are talking about."_

_Faith shrugged nonchalantly. "Aight. But cha will soon enough, if ya_ really _don't."_

_It got very quiet all of a sudden, yet there was something distant in the air, a small static sound that burned her ears. She couldn't make out what it was, but it was defintely there. Humming gently in the back of her head like the soft melody to a song whose lyrics she couldn't remember. Slowly she looked up at Faith, meeting her dark brown eyes. They were watching her intensely, neither shifting or blinking. Her stance was neutral and non threatening, but her gaze held a deeper meaning that swam below the surface._

_Swallowing hard, she wet her lips. "Faith..."_

_"Yeah, B?" The brunette inquired naturally._

_"Is this--I mean are you..._ her _?" Buffy asked, stepping closer. "My Faith?"_

_"Your Faith?"_

_"You know what I mean."_

_"Yeah. Prob more so than you do."_

_"Wh--can we just not do the riddles thing for once?"_

_"But that's how it goes, ya know? That's how it always goes."_

_"No. It doesn't have to. Just gimme a straight answer please. Who are you? Or which are you?"_

_The brunette's lips curved into a slow grin. She reached up with her right hand and touched Buffy's cheek. "You ready?"_

With a gasp Buffy jerked awake, nearly tumbling out of the hard wooden chair. She blinked and glanced around, surprised to find herself in the Magic Box. Then she remember that she'd come over to hang out with Willow and Tara while they researched spells. Afterwards they were all going to get hyped up on sugary drinks and then troll the mall for outfits they liked but couldn't afford. She must have fallen asleep while waiting.

Rubbing discreetly at her mouth to make sure there was no drool, she exhaled and frowned slightly. That had been quite the wig of a dream. But now she was seriously wondering just who had she been talking to? Faith or  _Alter Faith_? Or maybe a weird match up of both? Though the end had totally fit with the whole 'how to defeat the Mayor' dream from years back. Except for the location and everything.

Usually her dreams were meant to tell her something. Or they were prophesying something that was going to happen. But there was no apocalypse on the horizon, no need to be on guard--that she knew of anyway. Plus the dream had been too mellow. No flashes of past deeds and such. They hadn't made a bed either, not that something like that really mattered.

"You okay?" Tara asked concerned, breaking her thoughts. "Bad dream?"

"Uh no. Just odd." She replied, shaking her head. "It was nothing."

"Yo--you sure? Not that I--I'm prying." The other blonde stammered. "Ju--just helping."

Buffy cut her eyes; no one was around. And she trusted her. "Well I--I dreamed about Faith." Noting her expression, she waved her hands. "No! It--not that kinda dream. We were in my old house and we were talking. There was nothing but talking going down."

Tara nodded, relieved. "What's strange about it though?"

"I couldn't tell if it was this Faith or, the one from my home." She admitted. "And I feel like I need to know. That it's important..."

"You could always ask Faith if--if she remembers anything."

"Yeah...I could. Maybe I will."

Jumping up from the table, she smiled at Tara. "Um, tell them I'll be back in a jiffy." She then hurried out of the shop, jogging down the street.

A few minutes later she was at Faith's apartment, stopping at the door to go over in her head what she was going to say. It wasn't weird at all, asking someone if they'd just shared a dream with you. Okay it was weird, but she was gonna pretend it wasn't. Over the years she'd gotten pretty good at repressing things. Hopefully if this went wrong, it would be another notch for the repressing post, right under her mom having sex with Giles on the hood of a police car. Twice.

Using the spare key she'd been given, she slowly unlocked the door and stepped inside. She'd expected to find the place either vacant or maybe with the girl in question training. Instead she found the girl in question with her head between her girlfriend's legs. And said girlfriend was loudly showing her enjoyment.

She gaped for a moment then snapped back to attention, quickly whirling around. "Oh God! I--I'm sorry.  _Sooo_  very sorry."

"Buffy!" Faith laughed, righting herself as Carly swatted at her. "No biggie..."

"No I--I--bad. I didn't see anything. Well I--I mean I saw  _something_  but it--I'm not sure what it was." Buffy babbled incoherently. The image was already digging itself a nice cushy hole in her brain.

The brunette snickered and climbed out of bed, watching as Carly pulled the blanket up and over her head. She was totally red and mortified. "Chill, B. It's just sex. You aren't the first person to walk in on me doin' the ditty."

"She's the first to walk in on me!" Her girlfriend groaned. "I'm sorry you had to see that, Buffy."

"N--no I should have knocked. Knocking it good, it keeps your eyes from wanting to kill themselves with a spork." The blonde cringed. "I--bye." She all but ran out of the room.

Faith grabbed up a t-shirt and threw it on over her black panties, then followed her. "Hey, really. Everythin's is five by five."

Hiding her face in her hands, Buffy managed a small smile at hearing those words. "Um, I--I just wanted to ask you somethin'."

"What's that?"

"Well now I don't think I need to. You obviously weren't like, sleeping a few minutes ago."

"Nah I'd been workin' out a little. Why?"

"Oh um, it--it's nothing. Weird Slayer stuff."

Tilting her head to the side, Faith ducked in front of her. "Like good weird or bad weird?"

Buffy avoided her gaze as if her life depended on it. "I--honestly I'm not sure yet. " She paused, her cheeks crimson. "I'm gonna let you get back to...um...yeah. Tell Carly I'm  _very_  sorry."

"Eh, she'll get over it." A grin. "Laters, B."

The blonde nodded and power walked to the elevator. She sprinted in the moment the doors opened and leaned against the back, sighing deeply. Why did things like this always happen to her? Not only was she like a demon magnet, she was also an uncomfortable situation magnet. Was it some cosmic joke that she wasn't aware of? Because if it were, it was  _so_  not funny! Her eyes had seen things they would  _never_  unsee again.

Carly naked.

Carly naked on the bed.

Carly naked on the bed with her back arched and her legs open. Her hand in Faith's hair.

 _Faith_.

Faith half naked.

Faith doing things with her tongue that looked really--no!

"Supid brain." She mumbled, frowning. "If you don't stop it, I'll assault you with a Q-tip!"

 _Just one more!_  Her brain giggled.  _Didn't Faith have amazing breasts? Round and probably squeezable_.  _Didn't cha just wanna squeeze 'em!_

"That's it! I'm getting a lobotomy!" She shouted, just as the doors opened and an elderly couple filed in. Looking at her as if she were insane. She just stepped out and made her way outside, heading back towards the magic shop.

 _Focus_. So it was more than likely that her dream had starred  _her_  Faith, which just confused her even more than she was. They had a bond but it seemed strange that such a bond could stretch across into an alternate dimension. Stuff like that only happened in bad sci fi tv shows, not real life. Not to mention, what was the point? Why now? She was happy and had a chance to be as normal as the fates would allow.

Grumbling, she stopped at the corner and watched the cars pass. Knowing  _Faith_ , it was her way of once again trying to screw with her head. Of trying to freak her out when she was more or less in a stably place. Cause really, what else could it be?

 _Maybe she wants you to come home. Maybe she misses you. Maybe she can tell your energy is gone and misses it_.

"I thought I told you to shut up." She said through clenched teeth to her head.

 _Maybe she's in trouble_.

"Okay! Where's an axe!" Stalking across the street, she busted through the doors of the store and headed straight into the basement. She was rummaging through the many boxes when Tara came down.

"Um ar--are you alright?" She inquired slowly.

"No. I'm looking for an axe so I can chop my head off." Buffy replied in total seriousness.

Tara just stared at her for a moment. "I--I don't think that is possible. You might need like, help."

The blonde groaned. "So it wasn't this Faith in my dream. I dunno..." Trailing off, she sighed. "Why would the other Faith-- _how_  could the other Faith be in my dream? I'm not even in my world anymore."

"Yes bu--but dreams are funny like that. They ca--can cross boundaries that normally couldn't be cr--cross because the brain is on a different frequency when you're sleeping." The witch explained lightly. "It--it's kinda like when you dream about someone who is dead. Who's to say they aren't dreaming or thi--thinking about you too."

"I guess. Why would she be thinking about me though?"

"Well you're both Slayers. Ma--maybe you being gone somehow affects her."

"How could I find out for sure?"

"Hmm we--well we could try a spell. If you want."

"What kinda spell?"

"A dream walker spell. It--it would allow you to enter her dreams, providing she is asleep of course."

"Is it dangerous?"

"Not usually. But as always with magic, things can become unstable."

Buffy nodded slowly and sat down at the dusty table, biting on her bottom lip. So the question was, did she wanna find out what was going on back home bad enough to risk becoming a head of cabbage? Curiosity had always been her heel thingie, or whatever it was called. Even if things were fine, that little voice would keep nagging her with the thought that maybe things _weren't_  fine. That maybe some giant Godzilla monster was stomping around destroying everything in sight. Or maybe her friends were in danger. Or maybe Faith as in danger.

 _Do I care if Faith is in danger_? The answer? Yes, she did care. She surprised herself by caring more than she previously thought.

She wasn't sure if it was repressed guilt or something else entirely, but she knew she couldn't just sit back with her feet up if the brunette somehow needed her. Any other time before falling into the land of Oz she might have, but there was no way she could now. She'd seen what life could have been like if the dice hadn't been against them. How they could have truly got along. She owed it to her to do all that she could to help, if that were in fact the case.

Glancing at Tara, she smiled. "What do I need to do?"


	7. Patefacio Luminis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lapse but for some reason the rich text button doesn't work and it's annoying having to re add all the italics I tend to use, that's why I haven't updated. =(

Patefacio Luminis

"I feel like we're being naughty. Doing something we shouldn't be."

Willow's eyes were round and bright as she watched her girlfriend scribble symbols on the clean floor with washable black marker. She was practically bouncing in her cute sandals.

Buffy stood off to the side with a small smile, her arms folded over her simple tank top. It was one in the morning and they were at the Magic Box...after stealthily stealing the keys from Anya so that they could get in. It seemed like the best place to do a spell where they needed peace and quiet. She just hoped it was a perfect time back in her dimension for Faith to be asleep. She wasn't sure when bed time occurred in jail, but she really hoped it was about nowish.

She'd asked Tara for help, and in turn Tara had requested that Willow come along since she was more the accomplished witch. At first she wasn't sure that had been a good idea, but she later supposed it didn't really matter. No one here knew her history with Faith so they wouldn't have anything snarky to say about her sudden interest in the other girl's well being. And if they did it's not like it would matter. She just wanted to know if she was alright.

Mostly.

"Okay so the spell will last as long as one of you are still asleep." Willow flicked with the lighter in her hands, trying to light the four candles that surrounded the large circle. "But you know how dreams are. Five minutes there is like an hour in the real world. So I--I'd talk fast."

"Noted." Buffy nodded, itching at her cheek. "Thanks for helping with this."

"Oh don't mention it. Any time I get to do magic, I'm one happy camper."

"So just so we're clear, this isn't dangerous right? I'm not gonna end up in a coma or something, am I?"

"No. If she wakes up in the real world, you'll wake up here and vice versa. You won't get trapped in a scary nightmare where your socks try to eat your feet."

The blonde arched a brow. "Good to know. I guess."

Tara giggled, tucking hair behind her ear. She straightened up and rubbed her lower back, glancing at her artwork. "Alright I--I think we're ready."

Wetting her lips, Buffy sighed and slowly laid down on the drawings, careful not to set her pajamas on fire from the candles. She clasped her hands on her stomach and stared up at the ceiling, running the different ways things could go in her mind. She hoped things didn't end on a bad note, with the kicking and the punching. And she _really_ hoped those strange dream things didn't happen, like suddenly being in class naked or suddenly being on a date with that Jonathan guy.

"Choose a place where she feels safe." Tara whispered. "Somewhere familiar. It--it'll make things easier."

"Okay." The blonde closed her eyes. "Safe..."

The room fell quiet and Willow began the spell. "I call upon Hypnos, god of sleep. Take the deserving one and bid her entrance to your castle of forever night." She sunk to her knees beside her friend and picked up a brown bowl, dipping her finger inside the solution of crushed poppy flowers and oils. She waved them under the blonde's nose and continued as her eyes began to droop. "Morpheus, god of dreams, guide her through your endless maze to the one that she seeks. _Dim lux lucis. Rector via. Tollo veil_."

Yawning loudly as tiny lights started to dance in front of her eyes, Buffy felt a thick fog enter her mind. It sucked away her energy and the walls of the Magic Box began to fade and contract, throbbing like a sore thumb. The voices of the two witches grew deeper and then more distant as she was pulled away from consciousness into a black void of silence.

_The apartment was nicely furnished, with clean hardwood floors and decorative paintings on the walls. Across from the cement stairs to the right was a bed with brass posts and two flowered pillows, with a large chest at the foot. Beside it was a small dresser with some odd sculpture on it and a single lamp with a yellow lamp shade. To the left was a small kitchen with a square green table and pale colored fridge._

_Buffy was surprised by how much she could remembered about the place, considering she'd only been there for a few moments. Maybe it didn't matter though. Maybe the blanks filled themselves in now that the spell was in full affect._

_At first everything had been blurry, and for a moment she thought she'd lose her non corporeal cookies. But then the edges evened out and she'd suddenly found herself standing in Angel's basement apartment. Or his apartment in her mind at least. Tara had said some place where Faith would feel comfortable, and considering everything Angel had done for her, it seemed like the logical choice._

_She just hoped it didn't bring back bad memories._

_Smoothing her hand along the banister of the staircase, she wet her lips and tried to calm down. She wasn't sure why she felt so...wiggy. There was no reason to but she couldn't shake the wig that was running up and down her spine. Maybe it was the whole dream aspect; too bad they couldn't just use a phone. Did they have outer-dimension calling plans? The bill would probably be through the roof if they did._

_Here goes. "Faith? Ar--are you here?"_

_Silence._

_She waited a moment, peeping into the elevator. "I um--I kinda need to talk to you. Again."_

_Silence._

_"What is it with us and beds?" Asked a whiskey on the rocks voice after a few minutes. "We make 'em. They're around. Ya stab me in front of one; think they're tryin' to tell us somethin'?"_

_Buffy whirled around, surprised to actually be surprised to see her. Faith smirked up at her from her place on said bed. She was leaning back on her elbows, dressed in a white tank top and blue sweat pants. Beside her was the matching coat for the pants, and she noticed the numbers across the pocket._

_"Hey." She smiled, folding her arms across her chest. "Didn't know if this would work. If you were asleep or not."_

_Faith shrugged slowly. "Ya caught me durin' our lights out. Kinda surprised ya summoned me and all that."_

_"Yeah well, you showing up in my dream out of nowhere made me wonder if everything was alright."_

_"Five by five."_

_"So why--I mean that was you right?"_

_"Yup. Not unless there is another me runnin' around out there. Oh wait, there is."_

_"You know about that, huh?"_

_"A little bit."_

_"How?"_

_"Dunno. Must be one of our weird connection things." The brunette chuckled and stood. "Freaky, ain't it? Makes ya wonder how many others are around. And which are the real ones." Cracking her neck, she rocked back on her heels. "Yet you seem to be right at home."_

_The blonde arched a brow. "What does that have to do with anything?"_

_"Nothin' really. Just, well ya know ya don't belong there." She replied matter-of-factly._

_"What?" Buffy blinked in confusion. "Am I really hearing this? I--I mean here I am thinking you are in trouble and I'm actually worried, yet you're what? Jealous that I'm in another dimension? Or is it that the Faith 'here' is normal?"_

_"Didn't say I was jealous. Said you don't belong there." She tilted her head to the side with a little grin._

_"Oh. Right. Alright then, enlighten me._ Why _don't I belong here?" The older Slayer asked with a scowl. "Why shouldn't I just hang up my six shooters and rest in a world where Buffy Summers isn't needed?"_

_"Cause Buffy Summers is needed in 'this' world." A pause. "You think evil's took a day off cause you ain't around? Think again sweetheart. If anythin' it's gonna step up its game, and I can't exactly do jack from behind bars. Not that ya Scoobs would want me to..."_

_Chewing on her bottom lip, the blonde waved a hand. "I'm sure Willow and the others can handle it. They're smart and she is very good with the magics now."_

_Faith appeared amused by that statement. "Oh, aight. Whatever you say, B." She strutted into the kitchen and peered in the fridge. "If you're sure and all..."_

_Frowning, the older girl grumbled. "Since when do you care about how my friends are doing? Once upon a time, you tried to kill them! And me. What? You spend a few days in the big house and suddenly you're Mother Teresa?"_

_"Wanna know what the definition of insanity is? Performin' the same task over and over, and expectin' a different outcome." The brunette recited. "I can't change the shit I did, but a part of me hopes I can make up for it. Someday. Givin' a damn bout the people I wronged seems like a good a place as any to start."_

_Buffy watched her for a moment, trying to figure if she were being sincere. "You wanna be Miss. Stable?"_

_Faith snickered and hopped up onto the counter, swinging her legs. "Somethin' like that." Then she smirked. "That's what you dig, ain't it? A more 'normal' me?"_

_Um... "Why would you say that? Wh--why would you even think that?"_

_"Dunno." Running a hand up through her curls, she sighed and changed the subject completely. "I miss you."_

_Okay that was not something she'd expected to hear. "I haven't seen you in like nearly two years, yet you suddenly miss me?"_

_"I didn't say I missed seein' ya. I said I missed ya." The younger female met her gaze. "Might surprise ya to hear B, but I can feel you. Even when you're like, not around."_

_"What?"_

_"You didn't know?"_

_"I--um--huh?" The blonde stammered. Nobody would know a thing like that!_

_"Not sure what it is, but bein' locked up didn't change it. I could sense somethin'. Now? Not so much." Faith revealed idly._

_Buffy swallowed hard; was it possible to pass out if technically you were already out? "An--and you miss it?"_

_She gave a dimpled grin. "Yeah. It tingled."_

_Alright this was getting to wiggy, even for her. She needed to wake up and get back to civilization, because being stuck in her mind with Faith would surely drive her to the brink of crazy town. "I--um--well this has been fun. And I--I'm glad you're not in horrible pain. So I--I'm just gonna go..."_

_Faith jumped down and walked up to her. "Since when did you become a runner? Aren't cha the one who usually faces shit head on?"_

_Usually. "And what am I supposed to be facing here?"_

_"I'd think it was obvious." The brunette's expression was stoic. "Check the signs."_

_"What signs?" She asked, irritated. "I want you to explain to me with in depthy detail what 'signs' I should be looking for. No double talky crap."_

_"But that's how it goes, ya know? That's how it always goes." The other girl chuckled, bringing back her words from the earlier dream. "I can't draw ya a map, B. I'll give ya a hint...three libras."_

_"Hints are supposed to make sense. That doesn't make any." Buffy threw her hands up into the air. "You're useless."_

_Snickering, Faith glanced over her shoulder at something and then made her way back to the bed. She put on the long sleeved shirt and fiddled with the draw string to her pants. "You're all about control. You have no idea what it's like on the other side. Nothin's in control. Nothin' makes sense. There's just pain and hate, and nothin' you do means anythin'." Her voice was soft, just above a whisper. "Just tell me how to make it better..."_

_Her words cut through Buffy's brain like a knife, and that night on the roof flashed before her eyes. She stared at her fellow Slayer as different emotions swelled in her chest, confusing her even more than she already was. Reaching out a hand, she jerked when a loud clanking sound suddenly filled the air. The room filtered with bright lights and she shielded her face, shouting out the question of what is going on?_

_"Time to go make license plates for seven cents an hour." Faith remarked peacefully. "See ya around...B."_

_And just like that the dream was disappearing, breaking a part like misty rain._

Buffy woke up feeling sluggish with heavy limbs. She groaned and slowly rolled over, resting her face to the cold tiles of the floor. She had wanted to talk to Faith and hopefully shed some light on the Pandora's Box that was their relationship. Instead she was left with even more questions and even more feelings that she felt like she shouldn't be feeling. _Just tell me how to make it better_ ; those words hadn't meant much back then because she'd been consumed with anger and rage. She'd decided the moment that she walked in on Angel hugging the brunette that there was no possible way for her to _ever_ make anything better.

Now, especially considering her new circumstances and seeing how Faith could have turned out, she wasn't sure of anything anymore. Well except that sinking feeling of dread that she usually got before something scaly or slimy tried to kill her. Funny how that sensation was totally the same to the ones dealing with mid terms and running out of her favorite lipstick.

~*~

"I did not have a lot of luck with the spell I performed. It became more of a uh--uh information source at best. However I did learn that the energy which sent you here is called _spadsere_ and loosely translated it means 'walk'. Which I would think signifies a journey or some sort." Giles explained, his glasses hanging between his finger tips. "Could it be possible that the portal was not a doorway home, but a manifestation to a plane of enlightenment?"

Silence.

"Buffy, are you listening to me?" He cleared his throat. "Buffy?"

"What?" Snapping to attention, she blushed. "Oh um--yeah. Planes."

He sent her a perturbed expression. "Should I repeat myself?"

Shaking her head, she managed a little smile. "No I heard what you said. But I don't see how I--I mean this isn't--where's Buddha? Or Ghandi or someone in a robe with a bald head to explain..."

"Perhaps it does not work that way. Perhaps you were sent here to learn a specific lesson." He sat down on his couch. "I have been pondering what you told me about Glory, and it appears to me that a God with her power would be very much capable of creating the correct portal to send her home. The energy it takes to travel through dimensions is highly extensive--it should have killed you."

"That's what I said!" She agreed with him. "So--wait. You're saying that since I'm not dead this is some weird questy kinda thing?"

"I am saying that it may be possible."

"What am I supposed to learn?"

"That I do not know."

_"Great."_

"I will consult my texts. Do not worry, Buffy. I will uh--help you discover what it is if that is what we are dealing with."

Nodding, she ran both hands through her hair and lapsed back into staring into space. She already knew that _death was her gift_ ; that had been way more than enough knowledge for her. She didn't need to learn anything else. As a matter of fact, she'd be happy spending the rest of her life never knowing anything new. Why did the universe insist on the cryptic? Couldn't it just write down everything she was supposed to absorb and fold it between the pages of a fashion magazine? Or put it on the bottom of a yogurt cup! Problem solved.

The kick in the pants this time however seemed to be that _her_ Faith knew the answer to the question. Hell she probably knew the question, but apparently she was not going to tell. Or couldn't tell if that were to be believed.

_I was right. I am in hell. I'm in hell with none of my own clothes._ She thought, rolling her eyes.

The front door opened and Carly breezed in, wearing a yellow sun dress and carrying a cotton bag full of food. She smiled at Buffy and headed into the kitchen, putting things away. "Giles I went on a grocery run for you while I was at the mall. I saw you were out of stuff."

"Oh um, thank you..." He said absently, now reading a thick book with a black stem.

She chuckled, sticking a box of _Wheatabix_ up in the cabinet. As she opened the fridge and stuck in the carton of milk, she started to sing lightly to herself. "But I threw you the obvious...just to see if there's more behind the eyes of a fallen angel, the eyes of a tragedy..."

"That song sounds familiar." Buffy related. She stood and moved to the counter, leaning over it. "Vaguely. Like one you haven't heard in years, then you hear it and can't remember anything but one verse. Gah it's gonna get stuck in my head." Pausing, she thought hard but couldn't come up with anything about it. "Who sings it?"

"Oh, A Perfect Circle. It's a lovely song, kinda sad I guess. I heard it in the car on the way over."

"Ah right! I was thinking square for some reason..."

"Haha. I can see how the two would get mixed up."

"Don't mind me, I'm a spazz. Um, what's the name of it?"

"3 Libras."


	8. Attempting To Get It

Chapter Eight: Attempting To Get It

Chewing on her bottom lip furiously, Buffy clicked slowly at the computer keys. She sat in the basement of the magic shop with Willow's laptop on the small table in front of her, trying to find something--anything dealing with "3 Libras". After Carly had told her the name of the song she'd been humming, she'd blacked out for about five whole minutes. There was literally nothing going on in her mind but a stick figure dancing to the theme song of that old show _Sanford & Son_. And then she'd sputtered out some lame excuse before running out of the door.

As far as 'hints' went, she still had no idea what the other Faith was talking about. In her wanting to help way she'd just managed to give her another riddle. Music was art and art was subjective, so the song could mean any number of hundreds of things. According to the website that she was currently on, the posters thought it meant anything from prostitutes to being cheated on. And since she'd never cheated on Faith or been with her period, how in the world of worlds did it factor in?

"She's messing with me." She said aloud, reading over the lyrics for the tenth time. "Having a grand old chuckle at my expense."

Then again, there were certain parts that maybe...supposedly could be all matchy. If you squinted.

_But I threw you the obvious just to_

_See if there's more behind the_

_Eyes of a fallen angel_

_Eyes of a tragedy_

Home Faith was in a lot of ways like a fallen angel. She'd had a tough ride and was now in jail for killing people. Probably for a long time. But there was more going on with her than just stab stab, murder murder. Though to be honest she had no real idea what that  _more_  was because she didn't know much about her. Just what was on the outside, but that most likely didn't even begin to skim the surface that was Faith.

A girl like that had more layers than wedding cake.

Sighing, she studied the next set, smoothing her tongue along her bottom lip.

_Here I am expecting just a little bit_

_Too much from the wounded_

_But I see, see through it all_

_See through, see you_

"Well that makes no sense." She replied, arching a brow. "There's nothing to see..."

Not to mention she wasn't wounded. As a matter of fact, she was having a nice time in Alter world. The people were friendly and there was no real fighting to be doing; who cared if Home Faith didn't think she belonged. There was obviously some type of jealousy going on there. Obviously. Otherwise what else could it be? Oh and she didn't expect anything from anyone. Least of all Faith.

Groaning, she smoothed a hand over her face and slouched back in her chair. Something was missing, but what?

"B?" Alter Faith jogged down the stairs and swirled around the banister, flashing a big grin. "What cha doin' down here all by ya lonesome?"

_Who better to get "Faith" than a "Faith"?_  "Um I--well it's kinda complicated."

"Oh?" She strolled over to the table and flipped a chair around, sitting. "Complicated as in I can't figure it out or complicated as in stop bein' so damn nosy?"

"The first." Buffy laughed. "I had this dream about home, and it's kinda screwed up my head. I--I don't know what it means and I got a 'hint' but I think it was more of a tease. Or a jumbled word puzzle."

The brunette tilted her head to the side. She wasn't really good with puzzles. "Eh. What's the hint?"

Itching at her cheek, the blonde cleared her throat. "Have you heard that song by A Perfect Circle? 3 Libras?"

"Yup. Why?"

"What does it like, mean to you? The words and stuff."

"Hm I never really thought about it. I guess it means seein' someone but havin' them not see ya back. Or what they see is not the whole picture, while you  _get_ it."

"Get what?"

"Them. What they're about."

Buffy frowned for a moment and as different thoughts swirled in her pretty head, it deepened. But there was no way--just no. She saw stuff, she saw a lot of stuff because she had good eyes. Like 20/20 vision good. She could see a clearance price tag from halfway across the store, so there was nothing that she was missing when it came to Home Faith. She'd  _tried_  to be her friend with all of her power, and she'd messed all that up. Turned evil and then took a nice relaxing bath in darkness.

There was no reason for her to feel a case of the guilties over anything. Besides, she didn't get her. They were like night and day. Black and white. Sweet and Sour. Minty and Plain. Stripes and Plaids.

"Well then, I guess this song has nothing to do with anything." She responded after a moment. "Just another way for Fa--for her to screw with my life."

Faith watched her for a moment, then shrugged. "It's a kick ass song either way. 'Sides, I think we've all been in that situation ya know? Feelin' like you're standin' right in front of someone yet they don't even notice ya. Or screamin' at the top of ya lungs, but no one hears ya."

"It's hard to notice someone when they're bein' a thundering looney." She snorted, her eyes on the computer. "Destroying everything they put their hands on. Why do people do that?"

"Number of reasons. Some people are just messed up in the head. Others..." Trailing off, the younger Slayer smiled. "...it's in their DNA or whatever. Then ya get the ones who do it for attention."

Buffy blinked; was that true? "Really? I--I mean I understand but don't you think killing someone is a little extreme. What's wrong with shouting gimme attention in a loud voice?"

Faith chuckled, tapping her fingers on the table top. "Killing someone is bad no matter what way ya dress it up. But if afters the person feels bad, that's probably the attention part kickin' in. It's like when bad ass kids act out, not as whacked but ya get me."

_Okay I'll tell her in a non rambly way what I'm actually talking about_. "See cause, remember I told you the Faith I knew had did bad things and ended up in jail? Well I tried to be her friend before the badness and it just didn't work out. We were too different. I--she--we--she killed a man and didn't care. She  _said_  I don't care."

"Heh yeah but, that was bullshit right?" The brunette inquired. "Not sayin' that people don't care when they do shit like that cause some don't. But seems to me like she was lyin', yo."

The blonde folded her arms over her chest. "And how did you come to that random conclusion?"

A shrug. "Been talkin' to Giles bout other dimensions and stuff, and the people from 'em. He said we all share like a common link. Some stuff might be different cause of surroundings or whatever, but in the brain there's a like...tick that we all got. The same tick." She paused, letting out a yawn. "So if me and this chick got the same tick, pretty sure she was just blowin' smoke up ya ass. I know I'd be. It's a defense mechanism."

Uh oh. "Yeah but you--sane. And not in the big house."

"True. Different roll of the dice. Shake the magic eight ball, and that could've been my life. This one could be hers." She explained nonchalantly. She noticed Buffy's look and smirked. "Look, I ain't sayin' she ain't a few cards short of a full deck. But maybe she ain't such a bad person after all. I do fucked up shit but it don't make me bad. Means I make bad choices. Some are just worse than others."

Okay that was weird. Hearing Alter Faith make sense out of Home Faith was going to make  _her_  ears bleed. It was just swirly whirly going down the drain strange. But it also brought up points that she did not want to acknowledge. Like...if the tables had been turned things could have turned out so differently. Like if Home Faith had trained more or been more aware, she could have stopped herself from stabbing that guy. Their long hard road could have been a short trek to happy town if things hadn't interfered.

It was true; she spent most of her time dwelling on the horrible. It was her job! Hello, you couldn't fight demons and other beasties almost every day and still think about butterflies and rainbows. And you couldn't almost lose the one time love of your life to a poison arrow shot by a psycho, and then just forgive said psycho because she batted her baby browns and tried to say sorry. Sometimes sorry didn't cut it.

And perhaps it was easier to be angry than...other stuff. Sad. Betrayed. Abandoned.

"So what? You're saying she's you. That deep down you're inside of her?"

"It's possible. Remember I told ya how I wanted to freak out but Giles wouldn't let me? Well what if he had? I'd be different."

"God! This is all so stupid and confusing! Why couldn't she just be straight with me for once? Gimme the answers."

"Maybe it'll mean more if ya like, figure 'em out for yourself. Like with school."

"I hated school."

"Me too. Glad I dropped out."

Buffy fell quiet for a moment, locked in her own mind. She chewed on her thumbnail and turned her attention back to the laptop screen, her big green eyes staring at the small black words. She clicked on the play track button and softly the music started to drift out of the speakers.

_Threw you the obvious and you_

_Flew with it on your back, a_

_Name in your recollection_

_Down among a million same_

_Difficult not to feel a little bit_

_Disappointed and passed over_

_When I look right through_

_See you naked but oblivious_

_And you don't see  
_

_Me_

_But I threw you the obvious just to_

_See if there's more behind the_

_Eyes of a fallen angel_

_Eyes of a tragedy_

_Here I am expecting just a little bit_

_Too much from the wounded_

_But I see, see through it all_

_See through, see you_

_'Cause I threw you the obvious to_

_See what occurs behind the_

_Eyes of a fallen angel_

_Eyes of a tragedy_

_Oh well_

_Oh well_

_Apparently nothing_

_Apparently nothing at all_

_You don't, you don't, you don't see me_

_You don't, you don't, you don't see me_

_You don't, you don't, you don't see me_

_You don't, you don't, you don't see me_

_You don't see me_

_You don't_

_You don't_

_You don't see me at all_

Inhaling slowly, she glanced to the girl in front of her as the end lyrics swam in her head over and over again. She didn't want to admit it because it would mean--it would mean what she didn't want to realize. What she didn't want to ever think about or talk about, because anger was easier. Blaming someone else and holding tight to preconceived notions were easier than actually saying  _no, I never saw you. I never really saw you at all_.

~*~

The cemetery was quiet, and for once there were no fresh graves. Buffy shoved the large door of the mausoleum closed and wiped her hands together, brushing off the dust and dirt. She'd just returned that skull Giles had used, although now it was stained with green and red stuff and smelled like egg salad. But she supposed no one would mind since there was a good chance everyone who knew him was just as dead as he was. And if not it's not like they would open up his coffin to see what's going on with their very dead and very icky corpse of a friend.

No the only people who occasionally grave robbed were those in the magic business. And maybe hobos.

There were so many things traveling through her head as she idly walked along. Dreams and what they meant, friends and enemies, not to mention other dimensions with other people in them. She tried not to feel guilty for thinking Alter Faith was cool while thinking Home Faith was a squirrel without a nut. But they were  _so_  different, and she just didn't believe Home Faith could ever be as normal as the one here.

So why did she hope to have another Slayer dream tonight?

Oh...unfinished business. Yeah. That made of the sense.

Frowning, her eyes jumped back to the tomb and she sighed, remembering the night they'd hid from those demons. The smell of Faith's hair, how warm her hands had been on her back. Looking into her big brown eyes and seeing the calm, with none of the turmoil that usually came with staring into big brown eyes _nearly_  the same. It had felt oddly comforting and if she were to be completely honest with herself, she could remember a time when she'd experienced the same slight sensation with crazy Faith.

But the minute amount of comfort wasn't--well it wasn't peppy enough. Her life after returning home from running away had been ran sacked with the guilt of killing Angel and her friends not acting very friendly anymore. Then Faith showed up, hiding a world of pain behind a dimpled grin. And after the little green monster had been flicked from her shoulder, they'd had a good time together. Faith came on like a hurricane to her life, and she'd liked it.

She was rude. Brass. Wouldn't know a boundary if it smacked her in the face. Yet those things made her--it brought her fire. Even when she was evil. Standing in the cafeteria and their eyes meeting while she had a knife to Willow's throat, she'd always thought her raging pulse and shiver had been because she was  _just that angry_.

She had always thought her fight had been about not becoming Faith. But maybe it was deeper than that. Oh who was she kidding; of course it was deeper than that! Table for Captain Obvious, party of one!

"I'm not going to think about this." She said as she walked along. "There will be no thinking of any kind. Ever."

" _Well ya know ya don't belong there."_

_"That's what you dig, ain't it? A more 'normal' me?"_

_"I miss you."_

"Stupid thinking." She muttered, kicking at a rock. "Being dead would be easy than having some weird spandex energy send me here."

Idly she wondered what her friends were doing back home. If they were worried about her or what the situation was. Things were just so... _stupid_! Just when she was starting to like Alter Sunnydale, something had to happen and throw her for a giant double shoe lace loop. Was she destined to just never be normal or happy?

Sighing, she ran a hand through her hair and trudged down the street towards Faith's apartment. Once reaching the building and heading up in the elevator, she came to the door but pressed her ear to it. The last thing she wanted was a repeat of the live sex show, she didn't care how great Faith's breasts looked.

_See it's thoughts like those that make me question my own sanity_. Hearing an all around general no sexiness, she jingled her key loudly in the lock and walked inside.

Faith and Carly were cuddled up on the couch together, with Carly's bare legs swung across her girlfriend's lap. They were watching tv and stealing kisses in between commercials.

"Hey B." Faith grinned. "How went the skull thing?"

"Good. No trouble at all." She replied with a nod. "Tucked what's his head back with his body and hoofed it out of there."

"Sweet. Glad those demons didn't come back."

"Me too."

"Want cha bed?"

"Hm? Oh n--no. I--I'm gonna take a bath first."

"Aight. Let us know when you wanna hit the hay."

The blonde nodded again and strolled behind the couch towards the bathroom. She got to the door and peeked back out at the two girls, watching the way Faith rubbed Carly's feet and kissed her shoulder in an actual loving manner.

Jealous much?

Gently closing the door, she stared at her reflection in the mirror. Apart of her figured that in order to get to the rooty goodness of  _everything_ , she'd have to start all over at the beginning. Back at that night in the alley outside of The Bronze.

Only then...would she truly be able to... _see_  it all.


	9. Back In The Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains dialogue from episodes in Season Three. I'm sure you guys will recognize it!

Chapter Nine: Back In The Day

A few days later, after trying to remember and stressing every single conversation she'd ever had with Faith, Buffy knew she needed help of the magical variety. She felt like a giant bother though having to ask for  _more_  spell help. But it was obvious it would be the only way to open up her mind and all that blah blah blah. She hadn't had another Slayer dream, and talking to Alter Faith about things just wasn't the same because she didn't have that edge of once being addicted to murder. Only when she paid  _real_  attention did she notice the differences between the two Faiths.

Well okay so the differences were glaringly obvious to a person with eyes, but she meant inner differences.

Still she was mostly sure that Home Faith was trying to let her in on a secret, and she had an inkling what it was but she didn't wanna admit it or see it for that matter. Things would get very real very fast the moment she dared to get all uttery and stuff. And she still wasn't sure how she was going to react to news so big and dramatic. So before she let her brain think, she was going to exhaust every resource she could get her manicured hands on.

But first she had to come semi clean with Alter Willow. She'd probably take it well.

Standing outside of her dorm room, she wet her lips and knocked. A cheery voice bid her come in and she did, smiling at the Wicca who sat on her bed, chewing on the end of a pen. "Hey Buffy."

"Hey." Folding her arms over her chest, she decided to cut right to the chase. "I um--I kinda need another magical favor."

"Sure. What can I do ya for?" Willow said with a grin. She really loved magic.

And the rambles began. "I--okay you remember how I wanted to find out if the Faith from my neck of the woods was alright? Well I--there was more confusion. I'm all confused and I need your help. I--I don't know what to do really. Faith is--she's--there is something going on with her and it relates to me but she won't tell me what it is. And I  _need_  to know because--because I'm obsessive about those kinda things."

Her friend slowly closed her notebook and laid it aside. "You know I--I know I didn't know the Buffy here long but, I recognize  _that_  when I hear it. She did the same thing when it came to Angel." She smiled a little. "You like Faith."

"What? No I--that's not a clear thing yet."

"Oh?"

"Yes. There ar--are charts and graphs I have to go over. I have to find out the why and the what from the who."

"O...kay. How do I come in?"

"I need to--is there a way to--I need to get in my head. Get things from being all scrambly."

She thought for a moment, then stood and moved to her shelf of books. She surveyed the titles. "I could put you in a  _verto_  and call on a spirit guide. Then yo--you could ask them questions and they'd lead you where you need to go."

"That sounds easy enough." Buffy replied smiling. "Sorta like a guidance counselor for your brain."

"Yes but, it won't tell you not to skip class or you'll end up a gigolo." The red head giggled. "Though an--and it's just an observation I'm making--if you're going to all of this trouble trying to  _figure_  Faith out, I think you already know if you like her or not."

Ack. "Maybe bu--but if you knew her you'd be slapping me up side the head right now, asking if I'm possessed by a demon. I need to seriously find out why I'd even bother. Or if I am in fact possessed by a demon."

"Maybe it's just one of those things. Yo--you meet someone and they change your life. That's how it was for me and Tara." She shrugged slightly. "I didn't just wake up one day and go  _oh, I think I'm gonna be gay today_. She was just so amazin'--she changed everything I thought I knew about life and love."

"Faith is definitely no Tara. And the only way she changed my life was by almost destroying it."

"Then why do you care about any of it?"

"I dunno. Cause I'm stupid."

"Aww it's okay, Buff. I'll be stupid with you! We'll be stupid buddies."

"Thanks Will."

"No problem. Let's get to work on your spell."

~*~

When the bright lights finally dimmed and she could see again, Buffy glanced around slowly. Willow had vanished, so she figured she was probably somewhere in her mind at the moment. She sighed and rubbed her cheek, rocking back on the heel of her boots as she waited for her spirit guide to show up. Hopefully they wouldn't take all night, because the thought of having her body laying prone on the floor of her friend's dorm room was just too creepy even in her high tolerance of the creep world.

"Spirit guide, are you here?" She inquired lightly. "I'll give you cookies and ice cream if you come out."

"Ew. Like I really need all those carbs." A voice snapped, and the blonde nearly tipped over.

Appearing out of thin air it seemed was Cordelia, dressed in white jeans and a blouse of the same color. She folded her arms over her chest and tilted her head to the side. "Well, I see some things haven't gotten better with time. Like your fashion sense."

Buffy blinked; it was now official. The Powers That Be were totally screwing with her. "Cordelia? Wh--what are you doing in my head?"

The pretty brunette sighed exasperatedly. "Hello, brain trust. I'm your spirit guide, duh. And while we are on the subject,  _you_  chose how I was to look. I have to thank you for that one however. This body is amazing."

_Oh brother_! "Out of all the people I know, why would I pick you? It doesn't make sense."

"I don't know. Maybe you secretly worshiped me. Or maybe I'm the only one who was close enough to all your drama who didn't eat out of the palm of your hand." She stated. "I'll be totally honest with you. Brutally honest even. There is not a single detail I won't dissect and pick at until nothing is left."

"Great, that's just great." The blonde snorted, annoyed already. "Alright let's do this then. The sooner we are done the sooner I can be all alone in my noggin."

"Okay. I'm a little surprised though that there is room enough in here for two, what with your ego taking up most of the space." Flashing a fake smile, she snapped her fingers and suddenly the scenery changed. Broke away like clouds after a storm.

They found themselves in the Bronze a second later, surrounded by dancing bodies and teenagers chatting happily. Darling Violetta was on stage, the leader singer crooning out some song she couldn't place. By the layout Buffy could tell it was the one from her home--everything happened to be on its normal side. Her big green eyes scanned the room and then she was remembering just  _when_  they were. Especially after seeing herself in her silky black dress with red flowers, sitting with her friends under the yellow glow of bright lights.

_Ooh I forgot how cute I looked with shorter hair_. Yet it was very weird to be watching herself, even a younger version of said self, who seemed oblivious to her presence.

"Man, I looked so good but then when don't I look good? And check out my outfit." Cordelia spoke up. "My Xander Harris phase. Thank God I got over that madness."

"This is the night I met Faith." Buffy ignored her, which wasn't as easy as it sounded. Sure enough, when she turned she saw the dark Slayer, dancing in tight multi colored leathers with a stupid looking vampire. She looked so different, almost innocent. Well her face anyway.

Her spirit guide smirked. "So what did you think when you first saw her?"

"Actually I was more focused on the guy she was dancing with. I--I just knew he was a vamp."

"You didn't notice her  _at_  all?"

"Well I--I mean I  _saw_  her cause you called her Slut-O-Rama."

"Oh please, you wanted to hump her brains out."

"What?! I did not! I didn't even know her."

"Yeah like that makes a difference."

"Aren't you supposed to be teaching me something?"

Cordy gave her a look but nodded. "Fine." Another snap of her fingers and they were outside in the alley just in time to see their younger selves file out.

A teenage Faith strutted up to her teenage counterpart with a big dimpled grin. "Hey it's okay. You're uh, Buffy right?" She jerked her head back swiftly, head butting the vampire hard in the nose. "I'm Faith."

They watched her beat the crap out of the latest creature feature, and then yank the stake from Buffy's hand. She tossed the guy back into a piece of fence and staked him deeply, smirking when he exploded into dust. "Thanks, B. Couldn't have done it without you." With a little nod, she returned the stake to its rightful owner and simply walked away, leaving everyone in awe.

Cordelia looked amused. "Look at your expression as she waltzes by. All confused yet inappropriately turned on."

"I wasn't turned on. I was trying to figure out what the hell just happened." Buffy explained with a raised brow. "It was like--like I'd been--"

"Tossed flat on your back with your legs in the air?" The brunette interrupted. She held up a hand so that the other girl couldn't speak. "Fact is, whatever you were feeling, you didn't feel it with Kendra. You can say you did but I'm in your head so I know you'd be lying. With princess no emotion it was all about possibly quitting slaying and thinking about the things you could learn from her. With Faith; you hardly had time to remember your own name because she was flowing over you like water. Whether it was shock or something else, that's what you went through."

Insightful Cordy. It just seemed wrong. "I'll admit it was--but the situations were totally different."

A nod. "True. But we'll get to that later. C'mon." She headed back into the club with the blonde following behind her. They arrived to find Faith relating her slaying naked story to the group, while Xander practically drooled in her lap. Teenage Buffy looked slightly put out and uncomfortable, turning red when the hungry and horny comment was brought up. "If I have to explain this, you're  _more_  hopeless than I thought. Let's see something else."

_Poof_!

A white blouse dressed Buffy stood in the library, listening to Giles lament about that stupid retreat he didn't get invited to. Faith was charming him just like everyone else; it was interesting to see her Watcher all flustered just because he was told that he was handsome. The Scoobies were gathered around as usual, talking about the newest threat to come to town. It seemed nearly every conversation they had started with  _a string of murders_.

"Hello? Cleavage much?" Cordelia broke into her thoughts.

"What? It's just a shirt." Buffy frowned, hands on her hips. "It's a nice shirt."

"A nice shirt that you just decided to wear...that pushes the girls up into your throat?" She chuckled lowly. "Poor, dear half brain dead Buffy. Any girl knows that when they want to be noticed, they break out the boobs. Whether you realized it or not, you were totally advertising the goods."

None of this made sense to her, because she knew she did not feel anything for Faith back then but semi annoyance. Some new chick rolled into town and totally started to single white female her, it was more irritating than anything else. Not to mention she was still dealing with the emotions of having killed Angel and running away, more so the former. The last thing she was focusing on was her wardrobe.

Though her breasts did look particularly perky that day.

_"You guys go. It's fine. I'll just..sit."_

_"Okay. Hey later."_

Cordelia grinned at the exchange. "See, you were kinda jealous of her--not that I know why--she was a total head case. But I guess if you're used to being the big noise in the killing horrible things world and someone comes in and steals your thunder, it'd make anyone jealous." She shrugged. "But if I recall and I do because this is your mind, couldn't you like totally not stand Angel when you first met him? He was cocky, sexy and  _so_  got on your nerves. You're right, Faith isn't your type  _at all_. It's not like she's cocky and sexy--oh wait. She is! The only way she could be more your type is if she had fangs."

Buffy glared at her, half out of anger and half because she had a point. "I loved Angel more than I will ever love anyone else. There is no comparison between the two."

"Who are you trying to fool?" Asked the other female. "Are we just gonna pretend they aren't similar? They both have the tortured thing going on, hell they even both tried to kill you. If Faith had a penis, she'd be Angel."

"You don't know what you are talking about." The blonde snapped. "You're defective. I got a defective spirit guide."

The brunette frowned and Buffy stumbled back as images flashed around them rapidly. The dinner with Faith and her mom. The patrol with Faith where they'd nearly came to blows over Angel. Scott Hope trying to offer up a present to make her like him, and her freaking out. The motel room where Faith stayed.

Her head swirled when everything came to a halt there.

Her teenage self was already inside, trying to find out why the girl who seemed so sure of herself was suddenly scared out of her mind. Packing like a lunatic and ready to run for the hills or farther. Still posturing that she could take care of herself and that she didn't need any help. She remembered the moment well, because it made her see Faith in a new light. It made her realize that she wasn't as tough as she claimed to be, at least not on the inside.

"Poor Faith, big on the bravado to hide how much pain she was in." Cordy related softly. "Must have been so traumatic to see her Watcher ripped open like a Pinata. To have some monster stalking her everywhere she ran, even in her nightmares." She spared a glance to Buffy. "And you, so ready to write her off as careless and crazy. That is until you looked into those deep brown eyes and suddenly understood how scared she was. How screwed up life must have been for her...all alone. And you convinced yourself that you couldn't stand the sight of her, but in that moment you wanted nothing more than to help her. Protect her."

"It's what I do." Buffy responded, rubbing the back of her neck. "I help people."

"True, but you and I both know this was different." She wet her lips and moved to stand near the tv as Kakistos tried to break in the door. Teenage Faith was screaming, seemingly wanting to sink to the floor and curl in on herself. "Look at her fear. It's real and it's raw, and it's one of the few times she let her guard slip around anyone."

When the blonde didn't reply, she continued. "I get how you'd forget this kinda stuff. Your radio was on station  _Angel_  24/7, you wouldn't have known anything else if it bit your neck off. And that's okay because that is who you were back then. That was the stage in your life, but it's different now. You're different and she's different. So it's time to be honest with yourself."

"Honest how?"

"Alright I'll talk really slow for you. Did you ever wonder why you were so quick to forgive Angel for trying to kill all of your friends, and not Faith?"

"He didn't have a soul. He--it was like he didn't have control. She did."

"Did she? ' _You have no idea what it's like on the other side. Nothin's in control. Nothin' makes sense. There's just pain and hate, and nothin' you do means anythin' ._  A soul doesn't make you infallible. It's your conscious that governs what you do, and at the time she wasn't listening to hers. I suppose she felt like she had no reason too, cause it was easier to be bad with someone who cared than good all alone."

"That doesn't excuse what she did."

"Oh so you boinkin' Angel into his one moment of true happiness, and then him going bat shit excuses him killing people? I think you were scared to forgive Faith, because even though you don't want to admit it, when you looked at her you saw parts of yourself.  _There but for the grace of God, go I_."

"That's not true."

"Then you were freaked out cause even while you were hating her you were kinda digging her. Anyway let's check out something else."

_Poof_!

_"I won't use the word 'dating', but I am going out with somebody. Tonight as a matter of fact."_

_"Really, who?"_

_"Yo, what's up? Hey, time to motorvate."_

_"Really, we're just good friends."_

"See?"

"I was joking..."

"Right."

Buffy groaned, she wasn't sure how much more of this she could take. Cordelia was giving her a massive headache and she wasn't sure she was learning anything. So far she knew that she had issues with Faith, but she'd always known that. Saw the movie and read the book on that. But...it was sort of nice to remember things that happened before all of the badness. When they used to joke around and hang out while waiting for some vampire to show up. Once they'd even played a game on who could slay the most baddies in one night.

In those moments, even though she was dealing with Angel being back, she felt free. Faith was happy talking bullshit and teasing her, and it took her out of her head for a while. When it was just the two of them, she didn't have to worry about putting on a brave face, and it was interesting to see real parts of Faith every so often. It was like they were in a cocoon for a few hours; a warm albeit slightly turvy cocoon.

Throughout the years she  _had_  forgotten that feeling.

"That Mrs. Post was a grade a bitch." Cordelia remarked as the scene wiggled around them like water colors. "She totally screwed things up for you and Faith. You were on the fast road to buddyville when she convinced her you guys were against her. Of course not including her in Scooby stuff did a good job of that as well. Oh and hiding the fact Angel was back..."

"I had no reason to tell Faith. I hadn't told anyone." Buffy said with a sigh. "I was scared of how people were going to react. And we were in a weird place, trying to find some kinda balance and be friends. Friends who didn't make out."

"You were like, obsessed with him. Which made sense I guess since he was your first love and all that blah blah blah." She yawned as if bored. "But this isn't _here is your life on Angel_. Though that was a factor in why Faith decided to trust crazy glove lady over you."

The blonde pouted. "I didn't wanna fight her. I tried to make her understand...I dunno."

"Speaking of that fight, how was it? First time you guys threw down for reals. The rush must have been amazing..." Cordy smirked, wiggling her brows.

Buffy relented. "Alright I'll admit it. It was; I'd never met someone who was actually my match. She came at me blow for blow. It was kinda intoxicating."

"Of course it was. You two got all sweaty and vibey with each other. Left bruises that took days to heal. It was like anger sex but without the fun sex part." The brunette snickered, waving a hand.

Smoothing a hand over her eyes, the blonde took in her new surroundings. Faith was lounging on her bed in a pair of denim cut offs, flipping idly through a magazine. She stared at herself in her pretty dark dress, trying to smooth things over and convince the young girl that they could trust each other. Faith was beating herself up for being stupid and trusting Mrs. Post, though they'd all did the same thing.

"First person she decides to take a chance on, and she's actually the bad guy who's whacko over some demonic accessory." Cordy snorted. "No wonder she was scared to let someone else in. But you knew she wanted to right? You could tell."

That she could. "I hoped she did at least. I--I wanted to make up for kicking her in the face so many times. I didn't want her to be by herself."

"Why?" She questioned simply.

"Because I cared about her." Buffy whispered. "Because I knew she needed...someone. Anyone."

" _I know I kept secrets. But I didn't have a choice." Teenage Buffy said softly. "I'm on your side."_

_"_ I'm _on my side, and that's enough." A teenage Faith responded curtly._

_"Not always." The older girl voiced sincerely_.

Cordelia faced her charge. "You were on her side once. Would it really be so bad to be on her side again?"


	10. Reaching A Decision

Chapter Ten: Reaching A Decision

Cordelia's words were staggering around like a drunk leprechaun along the circuits of her brain. A drunk leprechaun sloshing his insight and wisdom everywhere, getting her brain soaked in things she didn't know if she could handle. It was all starting to make sense really, though she wondered if she'd continued to deny it until the end of time. It made sense but it also freaked her the hell out because she'd never been in this situation before. Not to mention, everything just sort of started happening all at once. Usually it took her weeks to decide whether she was interested in someone or not. Though she had known Faith for a while, and before things went to hell there had been good times. Who knows what may have went down if others thing hadn't gotten in the way?

Wetting her lips, she walked down the streets of the Sunnydale in her mind, phasing out most of Cordelia's ramblings cause they had nothing to do with teaching her anything. She was going on and on about clothes and accessories, and hot guys with wash board abs.

"Remember how nice Christmas was after you got back from the Angel crap?" Cordelia related. "With Faith and your mom?"

"It was pretty nice." She admitted with a grin. "Especially being able to just relax and de-stress the whole  _First_  thing, and Angel trying to kill himself."

"You were getting along so well, and you loved the gifts she got you. Tacky gifts but it's not like she was rolling in the dough. I'm surprised she didn't just steal something." The brunette mused. "Oh and remember how she looked out for you until you got your Slayer strength back...miss I can still fight vampires even though I can't open a jar."

"Why are you bringing all of this up?"

"You tell me. You're the one who wanted to get remembery with it."

"I wanted answers. I wanted to know why--why..."

"Why you think you might  _want_  Faith? Honestly Buffy, I don't see why you're trying to rationalize your feelings when you see things that can't be rationalized every day. You don't question why some demons wear pants or why some aren't evil, but you're gonna die over  _this_? I don't recall all this hoopla with Riley."

"Riley was a good guy. A literal clean cut home fed Iowa boy. He didn't go insane and try to kill my friends. He didn't use my life as his own personal video game. There was nothing about him that wanted to hurt me."

"And you found him as exciting as watching paint dry!  _And_  newsflash Barbie, he did hurt you. He basically cheated with vampires, and then he skipped town with his tail between his legs. He pulled an  _Angel_. You wondered why you couldn't keep a man and if it was you--well this just in--yes it's you."

"What is  _that_  supposed to mean?"

"You're scared. You run from happiness like you're being chased by a rabid dog. And you pick guys who you know you have no business of being with. I mean really, do I have to bring up Parker?"

Ugh! "He was a mistake. One that I won't make again."

Cordy arched a brow. "You think Faith is gonna be all  _get some and get gone_  with you. Funny how she seems to be happy getting some on a regular basis with Carly."

Buffy snorted under her breath. "Home Faith is nothing like the one here. There. Wherever!"

"Says you." The brunette replied. "That's what you wanna believe cause it's easier than opening your freaken eyes. It's easier than putting yourself on the line for someone again. Yet if it were Angel you wouldn't even hesitate. You'd be like practicing your tight rope act."

The blonde folded her arms over her chest. "Are you like, allowed to be mad at me? I mean you're  _my_  guide, not the other way around."

"Stupidity makes me mad. But I try not to frown because the last thing I want is wrinkles." Pause. "But okay you wanna play the air head, that's fine. I"ll just show you more reasons why you need to stop being such a big baby and face facts!"

 _Poof_!

"How did I know this would be on the list?"

Buffy leaned against a column, her bright green eyes trained on the two figures in the middle of the floor, surrounded by people.  _Chinese Burn_  by Curve was blasting from the speakers, the lights over head flashing rapidly. Her teenage self and Faith were both dressed in dark colors and having an amazing time, dancing close and not paying attention to anything but each other. A group of boys were trying to keep up with them, but it wasn't an easy feat. They were motion personified; strands of dark hair mixed with frosted yellow as they threw their heads this way and that. Their bodies were igniting charges of dynamite that only they could feel.

Faith looked beyond sexy in her low cut top. On her face was an expression of bliss, like she had no cares in the world. Her movements were much more reckless; it was like she didn't care where or how she threw herself around. Yet she managed to stay in step with Buffy, who picked the slower beats of the song to move to. And then she was grabbing her hand and lifting them over their heads.

She reminisced on the moment; it had definitely been one for the books. It had felt liberating in every way possible and natural. Like that was where she was supposed to be, and that was how they were supposed to be. Wild. Free. Close.

"I figured we'd start here since, well you're basically dry humping." Cordelia twirled a piece of hair around her finger. "Also you don't seem to have any problems with it either."

"I was all hyped up and adrenaliny." She was unable to hide her grin. "The dancing had been her idea anyway. I was more or less along for the ride."

"Yes, I'm sure you wanted to ride her." Snickering at the blonde's outraged look, she continued. "Don't tell me having Faith all up on you didn't totally twist your crank? You were in your own little  _Faith world_. If Angel hadn't totally boob blocked you...who knows what would've happened? Probably lesbian sex, or at the very least some over the shirt stuff."

Buffy slapped herself in the forehead. "I would not have had sex with Faith."

"Uh huh. And I wasn't a popular cheerleader. Just admit you felt warm fuzzies for her."

"Okay. I--there was some fuzziness and it might have been...not cold."

"Geeze, now was that as hard as your drama queen self  _had_  to make it."

"I really don't like you."

"Oh Boo hoo. Hello I'm not real, I don't have feelings that your so called quick wit can hurt."

"Moving on, this is important why?"

The spirit guide itched at her arm. "Well it seems to me that everything leading up to this moment is why you started to like her. And I'm not counting all the side by side slaying or lingering looks you gave each other. Or how you were secretly a little miffed to learn she slept with Xander. Not that I blame you since ew, who'd actually wanna get pelvic with  _him_? He's not the most hygiene savvy tool in the box. He's pretty much just a tool." Clearing her throat, she ended her tangent. "Long story short; you liked her and she liked you."

"How do you know she liked me?" Buffy asked honestly.

A shrug. "You figured she did. I'm just reading your vibes."

 _Poof_!

Cordy turned up her nose at the inside of the shop. "Who in their right mind wants to steal weapons? Oh...I forgot who I was dealing with for a moment. Little miss likes to fight."

Buffy scowled. "We had a giant demon to kill. We needed weapons."

"Hm. Maybe you should have went home and got some." The brunette mused. "Anyway, as you can clearly see, by now you were digging her like...something that digs. Everything; her hair, her eyes and especially her lips. Remember that pout and those dimples? Not to mention that full on sex dream you had about her."

"It wasn't a sex dream."

"Looked that way from where I was standing."

"You weren't there!"

"Not in theory, but I know what happened so there."

"Why are we here? This means nothing. It's not even an important moment."

"You want important? I'll give you important."

 _Poof_!

"I don't want to see this." Buffy wrapped her arms around her waist, suddenly feeling cold.

"Why?" Cordelia inquired, standing next to a large stack of crates.

"Because."

"Because what?"

"Please..."

"No. Tell me why you don't wanna see it."

"I--it--um.."

"Fine, I'll show you."

"No!" The blonde screamed, putting her hands over her ears. "Please I--I can't...don't make me watch it."

"Why?" The brunette whispered gently, touching her shoulder. "Tell me why. It's okay to admit it."

Swallowing hard, she fought back tears. "Because it's when I lost her!" Sniffling, she wet her lips. "It--it's when she changed. I couldn't--I couldn't relate to her anymore. It's like we were on different planets. I just--I couldn't reach her no matter  _how_  hard I tried."

Cordelia smiled at her honesty. "I can't answer why she shut down or went whacko for a while, but if I had to take a stab at it, I'd say fear. Then denial. She was suffocating under the weight of what she'd done." Glancing towards the docks, she sighed. "Angel almost reached her, but I think it was too late really. Even what the utterly handsome Wesley did; I don't think it pushed her over the edge. She was already falling by then. I mean, you were looking at her. Judging her..."

"But I--" Buffy began but was interrupted.

"I'm not saying it was your fault because hey, she was her own brand of crazy. But the holier than thou thing didn't make matters better. You know if that had been Xander or Willow you'd have never given up." The spirit guide explained bluntly. "Part of you didn't even give up on soulless boy."

"I wanna leave." She turned in a circle. "Let me out! I don't wanna do this anymore."

Cordy snorted. "Lucky for you, it's my decision. I get to say when it's over so we could be here like for weeks."

The blonde narrowed her eyes at her. "And I could kick your ass."

A laugh. "I'm not real--this is all in your head. What cha gonna do? Beat your  _own_  brains out?"

She snapped her fingers and Buffy tried to block out the images that followed, but even if she closed her eyes, she could still see them. The cafeteria where they did the exchange for the box of Gavrock. The fated rooftop where she plunged that wicked looking knife as deep into Faith as she could get it. The hospital; the soft kiss on the forehead that she gave the other Slayer while looking at her battered and broken body. Suddenly it all became too much.

Sinking to her knees, she gasped in air and stopped fighting the urge to cry. Warm tears rolled down her cheeks, she literally found herself sobbing into her hands. She could remember the emotions she'd felt at every single one of those times. How gazing at Faith and the Mayor had made her sick to her stomach. How she'd wanted nothing more than to punch him in his stupid face and drag Faith, kicking and screaming back to her side.

That night on the roof when things go so out of hand; it was like a bad movie that replayed over and over in her mind for months. She could hear the sound the knife made...she could smell the metallic blood. It was almost like someone else had did it, because she'd always known she could  _never_  be so cut throat with another human being. And yet she had.

Everyone thought she was alright afterwards because she didn't bring it up. Because she didn't spazz out like when she'd killed Angel. Or if they caught her looking sad, they figured it was because Angel had skipped town. Perhaps that was part of it, but it wasn't the whole sha-bang. For as much as she'd hated the way Faith had turned out, it didn't stop  _other_  feelings. It didn't stop her from visiting her in the hospital for a few weeks, upset at the prospect that she would never wake up.

"So what do I do?" She cleared her throat after a few moments. "Wha--what is all of  _this_  supposed to mean?"

Cordelia dug dirt from under her nails, then tilted her head to the side. "Beats the hell out of me." Laughing at the blonde's expression, she waved a hand. "Don't get your panties in a twist, I'm kidding. It's simple really; Faith is trying really hard to make amends. You were in her body, you saw how she hated herself and what she'd become. Well now she's honestly trying to...ya know...fix it. And when people try to grow and become better people, they deserve second chances. Now do I think a psycho rapist should get a gold star for not raping people? Of course not. But you and I both know things have always been different when it comes to Faith."

Buffy stood and dusted off her jeans. "What if it's trick?"

"What if it's not?" A beat. "You have to forgive her and move on. Even if you decide to never see her again, you should forgive her for your own peace of mind. Of course you  _could_  be a doofus, not listen to me and end up missing something that could be awesome. Like you did with Riley. Your choice, Buffy."

 _Poof_!

Very slowly Buffy blinked and Willow's worried face came into view. She groaned and sat up, rubbing at her temples. It felt like tap dancing monkeys were having a hoedown between her ears. "Man..."

"Are you okay?" The red head asked. "You--you've been out for a while!"

"How long?" She inquired, her throat scratchy.

Willow wet her lips. "Two days."

"What!" The blonde gasped. "Oh my God! It--it felt like minutes to me. An hour tops."

"I was worried. I tried to wake you up but the energy shocked me."

"I--I'm alright. Thanks, Will."

Nodding, the Wicca helped her up and handed her a bottle of Snapple. "Did you--I mean--things okay?"

"Yeah. I--things are much clearer than they were before. If I ever get home, the first thing I'm gonna do is see Faith." She smiled at the thought. "I think we need to have a talk that isn't littered with weird riddly stuff."

"Oh. Ooh!" Willow grinned happily. "Well I'm glad. Now...all we gotta do is try to get you back to the  _right_  Sunnydale."

~*~

Giles stood behind the counter of the magic shop, doing a small inventory of the trinkets. Anya played with the money, smelling it and smoothing it across her face even though she'd been told how dirty it could be. Only the Watcher looked up when the bell rang, smiling as Buffy hurried her way inside. "Everything alright?"

"I need to get home!" She blurted out. "There is--um--stuff. Lots of stuff and I have to be home to do it."

He nodded. "I am using all of my resources to find the correct energy to send you home. Don't worry, I'm sure we shall on the right path in no time."

"Ready to jet so soon, B?" Alter Faith smirked from her place at the table. "And here we thought you liked us..."

The blonde chuckled, eying Carly who sat in her lap. "I do. It's nice and comfy here, but there are things I need to discuss back in my Dale."

"Ahh..." The brunette grinned. "Bet when you tell them bout all this, they'll be like what? Total mind trip."

Carly giggled. "I think it's really cool. I'd love to know what the other me is doing."

A light bulb went off over the blonde's head. "Um, Carly can I talk to you for a minute? In--in private, please...?"

Pushing a strand of curly black hair off her forehead, she nodded and they moved into the back training room. She seemed slightly confused as to why the other Slayer would want to talk to her, but she was open. "What's up?"

"Is--okay this might sound weird but I--is Faith a good girlfriend?" Buffy stammered out. "I mean does she--are you happy with her?"

Carly blinked. "Um...well ye--yeah she's fantastic. I mean we have our problems but--everyone does."

"I know you're wondering why I'm asking. I'm not sure why I'm asking. Everything is sorta upside down for me right now." She admitted. "I think I like Faith. Oh! N--not  _your_  Faith but the one from my home. And I'm not sure I'm feeling like--it's hard to explain really."

"Uh, I see." A chuckle. "Well I'd say just see where things go. Faith wasn't exactly my type but she's a good girlfriend. She has her faults and we did break up once, but she's--she loves to take care of other people. I just have to remember to give her space and not push her."

Buffy nodded, then drug a hand across her forehead. She had a feeling things were going to be even more confusing once she returned home.

 _If_  she could ever return home...

"Giles!"


	11. Musings

Chapter Eleven: Musings

_Opening the floodgates_... She'd heard that saying quite a few times, and it had always been pretty straight forward. There were gates and when they were opened, a flood would happen. She remembered when she couldn't stop crying that time over relationships...after Riley walked out on her. Though that was more opening the tear ducts, but same difference. Since settling on a somewhat shaky plan, her thoughts kept revolving around Faith.

_What is Faith doing right now?_

_Will she be happy to see me?_

_Will she remember our dream?_

_What if she doesn't want what I want?_

_What if something happens to her before I can get back?_

_I wonder what Faith is wearing right now._

_Does she really shower with like hundreds of other women?_

It was sorta daunting to say the least. But whenever her feet started to get a case of the chillies, she'd just relax and think about Alter Faith. The people here were almost mirror images of _her_  people; as long as she kept that in her mind she'd be okay.

Shaking her head, she continued her slow walk through the cemetery. She was antsy and figured slaying would take some of the edge off for a while. But of course there were no fresh graves when she needed them. Stupid vampires; didn't even have the decency to try and kill her when she wanted them too.

The dry leaves crackled under her feet and she sighed, staring at her white shoes. Although at the beginning she hadn't been in any immediate rush to return home, it would be nice to get back to her closet. If she still had one, what with Dawn probably stealing everything in it.

Dawn.

"I hope she's okay." She said aloud.

In all honestly, she hadn't allowed herself to think much about her sister. Being even more honest, she was kinda pretending she didn't have one as horrible as that sounded. It was just easier to do that here. Easier to fit in and be the  _Buffy_  she would have been if things hadn't changed so much. Of course she loved Dawn but she was only human. There were quite a few times she'd wondered on the what ifs. Wondered why Glory had to come? Why the monks chose her? Why the Key had to be human in the first place?

The past year had been tougher than she'd ever known. So much was lost, things that could never be gotten back. Even though she was sure her mom would turn blue at the words _remember Faith? The girl who tried to kill you and punched you in the face? Yeah we're dating now_ , she didn't care. She'd take the yelling and the outrage any day over the silence.

Man, she just hoped Faith felt even a fraction of what she was probably feeling. Probably because she was still a bit shaky on the ins and outs of her growing crush. Just musing about it made her chuckle.

It's just weird how people can suddenly look different to you. People you were sure would never change their stripes. Or spots or whatever.

How would  _they_  take it?

How would Angel take it?

She'd almost forgotten how many people would most likely have  _something_  to say about the new...developments. Oh well, sucked to be them.

Smiling, she rounded a corner and jerked, nearly bumping into someone. The young girl with long brown hair smiled, and Buffy blinked. "Amy?" The rat she almost added but caught herself.

"Do I know you?" She asked slowly.

"Um, no. I--I went to school with a friend of yours. Willow Rosenburg." The blonde related.

Amy nodded at the name. "So what are you doing out here all by yourself? It's pretty dangerous at night..."

The Slayer smirked and pulled out her stake. "Oh, you have no idea."

Snarling as her face morphed down into the bumpies, Amy struck out with her right fist but found it blocked. Buffy punched her in the face and then the stomach, grunting when she was kicked in the chest. She stumbled back and whirled to the left, avoiding another blow. She then spin kicked the vampire across her cheek, sending her crashing to the ground.

As she staggered up, Buffy jabbed the stake into her chest. "Sorry, Amy. You were better off as a rat."

Amy poofed into dust and the blonde sighed; that hadn't been much of a fight. She must have been newly turned or just not a good fighter. Though it made her wonder who else might be vamped out instead of living a normal life, the whole being a rodent thing aside. Riley was dead and Adam was fine, just like Miss. Calender. Not to mention her mother who she was dying to see; a small peek would even be enough.

There was probably a dimension out there where they were all dead, and one where everyone was alive and happy. It made her think about how she'd ended up where she did. If it was destined in the stars or just a pick of the draw? She'd like to think it was some kinda destiny mumbo jumbo, that her Sunnydale was perfect and needed  _her_. But Faith was right, it did sorta make you feel a little glum, especially when you'd been running around thinking you were numero uno special.

Glancing around, she scuffed her feet and decided to head back to the apartment. Read through those books she'd borrowed from Giles and see if she could make heads or tails of them.

She jogged across the street and down the block, humming  _3 Libras_. She couldn't seem to get it out of her head these days. As she made it to the building, she skipped inside and decided to use the stairs, running up to the designated floor. She pushed open the thick door and stepped into the corridor, stopping under the flickering light at what she saw.

Alter Faith and Carly were outside of their door, the brunette had her girlfriend pressed to the wall. Her hands were on her waist, smoothing to her behind as they kissed lazily. Lost in their own little world. Buffy watched them for a moment, her eyes taking in the look of pleasure on both their faces. She blushed when Faith's hand slipped under the other girl's shirt and tried to flatten herself into the darkness.

Voyeurism was wrong, but she couldn't help but think of...stuff.  _Stuff_  that eventually happened in relationships like it was  _happening_  a few feet from where she hid. The thought of doing something intimate with her Faith had the butterflies in her stomach dancing in a conga line. Knowing that it would probably be a while because of the whole jail thing just made her more anxious for stuff. She was on the line where she wanted it and where it made her nervous.

Still she had a feeling the moment she saw her behind that glass, she'd be fighting the urge to jump through it and give her a big hug. Well depending on how she acted. Her urge might be to jump through it and strangle her.

Clearing her throat loudly, she popped back into the hallway and made it up to the door. Thankfully the couple had broken apart; Carly was wiping smeared lipstick off her girlfriend's face. Buffy bid them a friendly smile and used her key to open the door. "If you guys wanna be alone I can...go...away."

"Nah you're good." Faith smirked. "We're gonna order take out and watch bad tv."

"Sounds like fun." The blonde said as she walked into the living room. "I was thinking I'd try to schlep through those books some more though."

"You're really ready to go huh?" Carly giggled, kicking her shoes off. "I think it's sweet you wanna reconnect."

"Of course she does." The brunette grinned, showing dimples. "She's feenin' for some 'Faith' love. It's natural; we got crazy skills."

Buffy felt her cheeks grow hot, and she snickered. "Don't you mean  _mad_  skills?"

"I say crazy. Anyways you can research later! Hang with us."

"Well, I am pretty hungry. And I don't usually turn down free food."

"Sweet. I'll call for pizza."

~*~

Xander scratched at his dark hair, watching his former and currently dead yet sorta not friend as she paced from counter to table with a book in her hands. She'd been jumpy all morning, like a little kid who had way too many Fruit Rollups. And he'd know all about that because he loved Fruit Rollups and often had so many that he felt like a crack addict in withdrawals afterwards.

"Um, Buff? You might wanna sit down or risk wearing a hole through the floor." He chuckled lightly.

She sighed dramatically, but kept pacing. "I can't help it. This book reads like foreign instructions on how to set up a stereo. I could have found whatever it is to send me home, but since I can't understand it..." Trailing off, she snapped it closed and pouted. "Why does this have to be so hard? Why can't there just be a big white page in black letters that says  _this is how you send Buffy back to Sunnydale_?"

"Cause that's too easy." He mused. "They wanna make you work for it."

"Who is they?"

"Them. Those that make of the hard."

"It's funny. I mean at first I was all ready to stay here. Kick up my Sunday shoes and relax. An--and now I'm all antsy to get back into the race. All for..."

"All for a girl..." Xander smiled at her. "With ya on that train of thought sister. I've did some pretty wacky things for the women folk. Though I don't think wanting to go home is weird."

She slowly sunk down into a chair in front of him. "Wanting to go home to see Faith is a steaming pot of strange noodles. Especially for me. I--I'm  _actually_  looking forward to it, though I have no idea what I'm gonna say to her. Or what I'm gonna tell my friends when they ask why I wanna see her. And there is the visiting her in jail thing which kinda gives me the creeps."

He rubbed his chin. "How about the truth? They'll probably be so happy to have you back, they won't even realize you've said something out of character. Besides, it's not like you're tellin' them you're running off to join the circus as a clown who drives a clown car." He shuddered a little. "I'm sure everything will be fine."

Buffy bit her bottom lip, lapsing into her own thoughts. She wasn't as sure as he was, because things were never  _fine_. Passable, yeah that she could deal with, but there were just too many bad ways things could go. With her friends and with Faith. Words could be spoken, bad words that hurt feelings and made her wanna punch stuff. Most times she'd end up punching Faith, and that probably wouldn't be good this time around. It was hard to convince someone you wanted to give them a second chance in your life after just kicking them in the face.

Least glass would separate them for the time being.

The thought of actually  _seeing_  Faith again...with her eyes...made her stomach jump into her throat and do the hokey pokey. Seeing Faith in the past had been about anger and depression. Now--well now she might accidentally swoon or something just as stupid. Yeah she saw Alter Faith but it  _so_  wasn't the same. It was like looking at a stranger because none of the history was there.

Though the night in the mausoleum would creep back into her mind every once and a while. It had a new meaning or an old meaning, depending on who was telling the meaning. At first it had made her think she was wrong or possibly going insane. Yet, now she sort of looked at it as a precursor to things that were on their way. Things that were buried and slowly starting to surface.

If she hadn't did the whole Slayer dream with Home Faith, and odd things like  _that night_  kept happening with Alter Faith...woo that was too much for her mind to try to process at the moment. Point; she was going to go home and air her dirty laundry. Well maybe wash a few socks first.

"Ugh!" Anya shouted, breaking her day dream. "Do I have to do this? I mean, not that I don't love wasting my own precious time to help someone who I have never met go somewhere I have technically never been..." She flashed Buffy a smile. "But I could be counting the money. Or stacking the money so that we can take it to the place where all of the other money lives. I wish I could live with the money."

Giles shook his head. "Strength in numbers. Besides I'm not sure I trust you to go to the bank. You remember what happened last time."

She scowled. "Xander!"

Xander snapped to attention. "C'mon Giles, you can't blame Anya. She didn't know it was against the law to pick the combination to the vault and smell their money."

"Le--least she didn't go to jail after we convinced them she came from a village without banks." Willow chimed in. "That was an interesting Tuesday."

Tara giggled, tucking strands of hair behind her ear. "So was the following Wednesday wh--when she tried to get a job there."

"I know this is not what you guys wanna be doing with your day, but thank you." Buffy replied, blushing slightly. "It really means a lot to me that you're willing to help."

"Of course we're gonna help." Willow replied with a smile. "You might not be  _our_  Buffy, but you're still a Buffy and we help Buffy. We're your Slayerettes, remember? Oh well I--I guess you don't since I didn't say it to you."

"Actually you did." The blonde laughed, then fell slightly somber. "Things like this can't help but make me feel guilty for being all...alive. With the breathing and the heart beating. I-- _she's_ missing out on so much."

"Yeah, but she--she had some good times too." The Wicca said slowly. "And she got to experience some really nice things."

Buffy sighed, resting her head on the table. "True. Then again maybe she is the lucky one. She hasn't had to go through all of the crap that I have. All the fighting, the death and destruction. You don't know how many times I wanted to give up."

"Why didn't you? I--I mean...well you know."

"I guess I...just think about all the people who need me. Who I could end up helping. I mean, I have this  _purpose_  and it's real. So no matter how tired I might get, I keep going."

"But you tried to kill yourself when you jumped off the tower."

"No. I wasn't  _trying_  to kill myself, I was saving everyone else. It's what heroes do, at least that is what people kept saying to me."

"Your Scoobies probably think you did die. Won't they be surprised when you just, show up. Someone might faint."

Xander snorted, his face askew. "Probably me. But since it'll be for a good cause, I'm cool with it. But um..." He sat up straighter. "When you do get back, if you wanna fudge the details on me a little, I'd be totally cool with that. Tell him I'm all manly with the machoness and stuff."

Snickering, she propped her chin in her hand. "I'll keep that in mind."

Giles sighed loudly and everyone looked to him, watching as he removed his glasses and closed the book he had. He glanced at the expectant faces, pressing his lips together in a tight line. Slowly he stood and walked over to the book case, placing his book back amongst the others. "I'm afraid we have run into a--uh small problem."

Buffy arched a brow. "What's that? Ugh, don't tell me there is some weird spell where I have to be naked riding a goat to get me home..."

His lashes fluttered rapidly, then he chuckled quietly. "No. Actually I--I'm afraid it is more serious than that."

"How so?" She inquired. "Is it gonna be hard to get me back?"

"In a word." He met her gaze. "Especially since it appears...there is no way to get you home..."


	12. Cheer Up, Buffy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains a scene from Season Three except it's rewritten a bit.

Chapter Twelve: Cheer Up, Buffy

The room was quiet; you could have heard a pin drop. No one dared to move because they didn't wanna draw attention to themselves. They stared at the petite blonde where she stood, her big green eyes glassy and far away. Three whole minutes had passed and the atmosphere was thick with tension. The silence was becoming uncomfortable, and being the one everyone went to for questions, Giles was the first to clear his throat.

He shoved one hand into his pants pocket. "I'm sorry. Of course we won't give up searching for the right method, but I thought it would be pertinent to be honest about where we are in the process. As of right now, it appears there is no way to send you home."

Buffy's eyes were the size of saucers as she watched him, trying to find her voice. "So--so I'm stuck here? Forever?"

"Perhaps not forever, but a while at least." He explained. "I have been researching Glory, but there is not a lot of information on her. Since things happened so differently here than your uh--world, there is no precise way to get a read on the energy of the portal. There was one suggestion but it would be impossible to perform."

"What is it? I--I'll do it, whatever it is. Bring on the goats!" She exclaimed, twiddling with her fingers.

"We would somehow have to bring Glory here and get her to open the right portal. Even if that were possible...it would be  _impossible_  to control such an unstable deity. And the amount of power it would take to close said portal..." Trailing off, he rubbed his chin.

Groaning, she smoothed a hand over her face. "That wouldn't end well. God!" Standing abruptly, she threw her hands into the air. "Why do things like this  _always_  happen to me?! I--I just wanna go home!"

"Oh, we're not gonna give up, Buffy!" Willow said valiantly. "W--we promise. We'll get you home no matter what."

"What if you don't? What if this is it?" She asked softly. "I have to make amends...I..."

"There has to be a way." The red head replied. "There is  _always_  a way when it comes to magic. We just have to find the right spell."

"Right." The blonde whispered. "I--I'm gonna...I just need to be alone for a bit."

Glancing at the people in the room, she shook her head and hurried from the shop, heading down the street. Maybe she should have never gotten her hopes up. Maybe it would be easier if she'd just  _la la la'd_  until it was completely sure she could get back to her Sunnydale. What was she thinking? Of course it would be easier! Now all she had to look forward to was being gloomy and wondering about the what ifs. Not to mention she'd never get to explain anything, unless she had another jacked up Slayer dream.

And with the way those went, nothing but riddles would be made.

Looking up to the sky, she glowered at the Powers That Be. "I hate you guys. If I could pummel you, I'd be up there in a second."

~*~

The thick stone mansion was the same as she remembered, except it wasn't. The walls had been defaced and spray painted black, and she found herself wondering had Angel did it or obnoxious kids looking for excitement? It was dark inside but she didn't appear to mind or care. She simply stepped over the fallen branches, her shoes crunching the dead wood as she strolled over to the fire place. Her bright green eyes stared at the hardened ashes, and then she slowly glanced to the right far wall.

There were no chains hanging from the sturdy candle holder. No scuff marks on the floor from thick black boots. It was weird to think that none of the crap she'd witnessed had happened here. That the first fight she'd ever had with Faith hadn't seen these walls. Hadn't seen any walls to be honest. Still there were memories; echoes of what could have been whispering in her ear.

Buffy was not sure why her long walk through the park and cemeteries had ended with her here. It would make more sense if she was upset about never seeing Angel again, but she wasn't. Her thoughts were  _all_  about Faith.

Faith. Faith. Faith.

Maybe it was because she and Faith didn't have a place. At least not one with particularly happy memories. The images that danced before her eyes in relation to the mansion were vivid albeit turbulent. When Faith had pressed their bodies together hard against the wall while she'd pretended to be chained up. Their faces just inches apart, that silver jagged blade cold against the skin of her cheek. She'd looked into deep brown eyes and felt fear for a moment, and sorrow over the fact that Faith really wasn't on her side anymore.

Still, having the brunette that close, looking at her with such feral emotion--her head swam at the thought. Hours afterwards she couldn't help but find herself wondering what would have happened if Angel hadn't been there? If for some reason it would have taken longer or more persuading to get Faith to spill the beans on the Mayor's plan. Would she have seriously hurt her? Or would that left hand on her thigh had traveled even higher?

Slipped past the band of her black pants and touched her, forced her to feel things she wasn't ready to feel. Taken her in ways she'd never been taken.

Wetting her lips, she walked over to the pillar and pressed her back to it. She closed her eyes and clasped her hands behind her, concentrating hard. She forced her mind to slip back to that moment. She almost wished she was still with her spirit guide so that it would be that much more real. But since that was not the case, she'd settle for pretend. A pretend that Angel wasn't there...that she was confused over her feelings for him. Avoiding him to make it easier.

Faith had tricked her. Knocked her out and took her to the mansion because her 'boss' told her to do it. Chained her up for real so tight that bruises would be left. Planning to get rid of the only wrench that might screw up his plans. But she was going to have some fun first.

_Dressed in a dark red leathery type shirt and black pants, Faith picked up odd looking silver clamps and tilted her head to the side. Strands of straight russet colored hair fell across her cheeks and she smiled, strolling over to stand directly in front of the blonde. "Before we get started, I just want you to know, if you're a screamer, feel free." She placed her right hand near her head, invading her personal space._

_Buffy stared at her. "Why, Faith? What's in it for you?"_

_The brunette chuckled as if it were obvious. "What isn't? You know, I come to Sunnydale. I'm the Slayer. I do my job kicking ass better than anyone. What do I hear about everywhere I go?" She dipped forward. "Buffy. So I slay, I behave, I do the good little girl routine. And who's everybody thank? Buffy."_

_"It's not my fault."_

_"Everybody always asks, why can't you be more like Buffy? But did anyone ever ask if you could be more like me?"_

_"That's not my fault either."_

_Faith inhaled, her breath coming out harsher. Sharper. "You get the Watcher. You get the mom. You get the little Scooby gang. What do I get? Jack squat." She shook the other girl roughly. "This is supposed to be my town!"_

_"Faith, listen to me!" Buffy shouted as she stepped away, back towards her instruments._

_"Why? So you can impart some special Buffy wisdom, that it? Do you think you're better than me?" Faith snorted. "Do you? Say it, you think you're better than me._

_"I am. Always have been."_

_"Um, maybe you didn't notice. You're tied up and I'm rollin' free."_

_"And how'd you do it, Faith? Drugs? Cause in the real world, you would never be able to touch me and we both know it."_

_Faith walked over to the blonde slowly, like she was stalking her. "You think so, huh? I guess you're right since ya got that stick wedged so far up ya ass. You know I was just gonna torture ya for a while and then kill ya. But maybe we should find the fun a lil first."_

_She was so close; Buffy could smell the perfume on her skin. Raspberries. "Gonna beat me now?"_

_The brunette smirked and grabbed her chin roughly, then trailed a single finger down her throat. "No. But ya might be a lil sore afterwards...just the same."_

An owl hooting broke her from her day dream and she frowned, making sure she was still alone. Wetting her lips, she clamped her eyes closed once again and thrust herself back into the images. Back into how things could have went.

" _Faith..." Buffy swallowed hard, pulling at her restraints. "You don't have to do this. You can still come back..."_

_"Why would I want to come back?" Her voice was calm, husky. "I got everythin' I ever wanted. Or I will soon enough."_

_Her left hand, once limp against the blonde's thigh began to squeeze. It drug up the inside of her pants, making the other girl squirm. She expected to be punched in the stomach, but instead the hand slipped down the front of her jeans. Down the front of her impossibly pure white panties to touch bare flesh. She gasped and struggled, trying to jerk away from the wall. But she was caught tight, snared like an animal that got a little too close to the trap._

_Slender fingers were rubbing next, pushing between the lips of her sex to stroke over her clitoris. The actions were gentler than Buffy had assumed they would be, but they were still wrong. She didn't want them. She shouldn't be allowing them. She shouldn't be...enjoying them._

_"Faith, stop!" She tried to twist away. "This is--stop it!"_

_Faith chuckled in her ear, giving it a slow lick. "You don't want me to stop, B. I can feel it. I can feel_ you _." Two fingers slid inside of her like butter across toast. Clean. Slick. Smooth. "We both knew this is how it would end."_

_Buffy groaned as her skin flushed red. As her head thumped back to the wall and the chains rattled around her wrists. She couldn't get away and she couldn't fight back; she was at Faith's mercy. She felt fear mixing with small flashes of desire as the hand picked up its pace. Harder. Faster. Deeper._

_She couldn't stop herself from reacting and a part of her wondered if she really wanted to in the first place. She was in the middle, feeling ashamed at the way her hips snapped to Faith's fingers and frantic because it wasn't close enough. The clothes bordered on shelter and nuisance, a comfort and distraction. One...two...three, inside of her and thrusting without patience or remorse. Skittering along pain while bringing on the pleasure._

_Faith's voice was at her ear again, saying the filthiest things. Things that were true and things that hurt. Things that made her skin a deeper shade of crimson, and that had her legs shaking as they inched apart to give more room._

_"You'll try to forget, but cha won't. You'll remember this moment. Who fucked you. The way you moaned for it like a little whore. How ya got so wet, ya drowned my fingers. How ya pussy begged for more. I could break you in half. I could make you let me fuck you forever_."

Picturing the dirty talk in Faith's sexy voice sent her over the edge, and she bit her bottom lip hard when she came. Tiny whimpers still managed to escape her mouth as her knees knocked together. Her own fingers, which she'd shoved down her jeans, were still stroking in and out of her body. Her thumb still wiggling over her clit; the sounds everything made roaring in her ears like a freight train.

She held tight to the day dream as her head lolled off to the side, strands of blonde hair sticking to her forehead. As goosebumps broke out over her flesh and she simmered in the after shivers, she exhaled deeply. She had  _no idea_  where that had come from--maybe the fear of never getting to tell Faith the thoughts that were colliding around in her brain. Or maybe it was just a thing...that... _happened_.

Like freak acts of nature or shoes that were marked one hundred dollars but rung up twenty five.

"I'm insane." Buffy took a moment to gather herself and then headed outside. Time to let everyone at the  _Magic_   _Box_ know she was okay.

Considering it was closed, it should have been weird to see the magic shop full of people. But Buffy was used to it from back when; it was the new  _place_  they'd meet to talk about demons and end of the worldiness. Giles was behind the counter scribbling on a yellow note pad, copying things from one of his books. Xander and Anya were sitting at the bottom of the stairs that lead to the second level, her head resting on his shoulder. Carly had a feather duster in her hand, but she wasn't dusting anything. Just admiring the crystal balls on a low shelf. Willow and Tara were at the round table near the windows, currently engaged in a harmless thumb war.

"There you are. We were wondering what happened to you." Carly smiled as she walked in. "Willow told us about...what happened. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay." Buffy shrugged slowly. "I'm not gonna give up, but it looks like I might be here for a while. Maybe I should think about getting my own place..."

"You don't have to." She replied genuinely. "We like having you around."

_You won't be saying that if I start wanting_ your  _Faith_. "Well, I'll think about it. Thanks though." Sighing, she moved over to the counter and leaned against it. "I'm gonna have a major pout fest later."

Willow smiled. "How about we have a sleep over? Wi--with ice cream and other sugary treats that will make us all hyper like bunnies."

"Ooh..." Tara nodded excitedly. "We could get some jelly beans. Though no--not the red ones. I don't like how they make my tongue look."

The door of the training room opened and Faith strolled into the room, sweaty from working out with a towel slung around her neck. "Sup? What're you ladies talkin' bout?"

"Sleepovers." Carly giggled and kissed her on the cheek when she came closer. "To cheer Buffy up."

"Sounds like fun." The brunette mused. "I'll bring the popcorn."

"Can you make some spaghetti?" Tara asked softly, playing with the sleeve of her blouse. "An--and maybe some meat balls?"

Faith chuckled, patting at her damp skin. "Sure, anythin' for you Tara bear."

Buffy smiled at everyone, folding her arms over her chest. It would be a wiggy transition, but she could probably do it. Dig in her heels for the long haul until they found a spell that wouldn't destroy...well...everything. It might take a few months or even a year, but she wasn't gonna give up. Champions never gave up, their ego wouldn't permit it.

As the Alter Scoobies plus three continued to chat about the shindig they were gonna have to cheer her up, she suddenly began to feel very warm. Her vision blurred slightly, turning the room into bright colors of yellow and red. She blinked and rubbed her eyes, staggering into the middle of the floor.

"Are you okay?" Xander inquired slowly.

"Yeah. You look...clammy. Doesn't she look clammy?" Anya spoke up. "Are you getting the flu? Maybe we should all get masks."

"I'm alright. Just got--ahh..." A sharp pain ripped through her stomach and she doubled over, grabbing it.

"Buffy?" Willow stood, alarmed. "What's wrong?"

"I--I dunno..." She said, already breathless. "It--I feel..." She trailed off as the room began to spin rapidly, making her extremely dizzy.

Her body grew heavy and she could feel herself falling forward towards the floor. She closed her eyes tightly as a black void swallowed her consciousness, and the sounds of her friends became nothing more then muffled murmurs amongst the static of her brain.

~*~

" _Is she okay?_

_"She looks okay."_

_"I think she looks clammy. What if she has malaria or something?"_

_"She doesn't have malaria! Buffy? Can you hear us?"_

_"Well if she does have malaria and we all get malaria, I'm gonna be there to say 'I told you so'_."

"Ugh..." Buffy groaned and rolled over onto her side. She was sweating yet felt as if she was in Alaska or something. Cold shivers racked her body all the way down to her feet. "I--I..." Coughing out the tightness in her chest, she slowly opened her eyes, finding herself blinded by bright white lights.

"Give her some room. Let her get some air."

"Wh--who?" Wetting her lips, she blinked rapidly, trying to clear her vision. As the hazy images slowly started to fade, she arched her brows. "G--Giles?"

He smiled down at her, helping her sit up when she swayed. "Hello Buffy. How are you feeling?"

She rubbed her forehead. "Dizzy, but it's fading. I guess I really scared you guys, huh?"

"You have no idea." Willow knelt down beside her. "God, Buffy! It's so great to have you back! Are you alright? Do you need anything?"

The blonde frowned. "Back? Wha..." She glanced up. "Dawn?"

The teenager smiled and hugged her sister tightly. "Ar--are you okay? We were so worried about you. We--we didn't know if we'd ever see you again."

"I'm home?" Buffy whispered, and they nodded.

"Where were you?"

"Where you dead?"

"Do you have malaria?"

But their questions went unaswered as she slowly smiled, exhaling. "I'm home."


	13. Questions And Answers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all of the reviews! I'm glad you're enjoying this! XD

Chapter Thirteen: Questions And Answers

Everyone had about a gazillion questions for her, but Buffy refused to answer anything until she had a hot shower. She stayed under the water for as long as she could, just happy to be back in her own house. With her own things. And her own clothes! When she was done, she'd climbed out and dried off, then changed into a simple white blouse and khaki pants. Her long hair was put into a ponytail and she literally skipped down the stairs to find her friends lounging in the living room, talking amongst themselves.

She bounced over to the couch and flopped down between Willow and Dawn, accepting the fourth hug from her little sister. She pushed light brown strands out of her blue eyes and then smiled. "Okay. One question at a time please because I--I'm still a little out of it. Buffy's brain equals swirly mess."

Giles decided to go first since he was the oldest and most knowledgeable. "Where were you?"

She chuckled lowly. "This is gonna sound weird but, Sunnydale. I woke up in this alternate dimension that  _was_  Sunnydale. At first I thought I was going coo coo for cocoa puffs, but I wasn't. I was...there."

He arched a brow, intrigued. "An alternate Sunnydale? Dear lord, what was it like?"

"Just like this. Well not exactly like this but for the most part. It was of the strange." She waved her hands as she spoke. "Apparently the Buffy there died when she went up against the Master. Everyone was a little wigged when they saw me."

"Everyone?" Willow asked, confused.

She nodded. "Yeah. There was a Willow, Xander, Tara, Anya and a Giles. A Magic Box and--it was like home but not. There were small differences."  _Or big ones where Faith was concerned_.

"Wow..." The Wicca breathed. "An--and here we thought you were dead. Being tortured in some weird hell place."

"Why did you think I was dead?"

"Because there was no body. And we couldn't find your energy on this plane."

"How did you bring me back? The Scoobies there said there wasn't a way..."

"It wasn't easy. We researched up the butt and even beat up those little lepery guys who used to hang with Glory. Finally one of those spilled his guts on her home world, and we were able to practice opening portals with the information he'd given us. After a few um...mishaps we got it right. Dawn's blood was a big help too...pin pointing stuff."

"Thank you for coming through for me. It's really good to be home. It was nice there but well..."

Dawn touched her shoulder tentatively. "I wasn't there, was I?"

Buffy smiled sadly. "I don't think so. I never saw you, bu--but you could have been somewhere else. They didn't have to fight Glory though, they fought some other Hell God who wanted a different key." She paused, chewing on her bottom lip. "I hope they know what's happened to me and aren't worried. If it hadn't been for them, I probably would have went bonkers."

Xander rubbed his hands together. "So this other me--what was he like?"

She snorted playfully. "Like you. Except he was a mechanic I think. Seriously guys, they were like mirror images in a way."

"I find it very disturbing that there is another me running around out there somewhere. What if she turns evil and comes here, and tries to kill me?" Anya frowned deeply. "Who is going to protect me from myself? And how will you know which is which?"

"She hated squirrels." The blonde mused.

"Ooh, well that's perfect. You could just get a squirrel and whichever one of us runs, is the evil one." She grinned at her plan. "Yay! I'm safe!"

Buffy snickered, stifling a yawn. "Least I wasn't stuck there for years like I'd started to think I'd be. A few weeks wasn't so bad."

Her sister gazed at everyone, then cleared her throat. "Um, Buffy? You were gone almost five months."

_What?!_  "What? I'm sorry, what?"

She nodded slowly. "Yeah. It--well like Willow said it was hard trying to find out where you were. It took us a while."

"I--but it wasn't that long there. Are you sure it was that long?"

"Yeah. We've been counting. We worked as fast as we could because of the whole thought you were in hell thing, but it couldn't be rushed."

Five months. Five  _long_  months. She knew time went differently in dimensions but that was just another level of insane. While it had been a near walk in the park for her, everyone else had been stressed for quite a while. She could feel the guilt creeping up her spine, threatening to run across her chest. It was calling her a stupid head for once wanting to never come home.

"I'm glad that all of you guys are okay. I--I was worried about you." A little lie never hurt anyone. "You didn't slay while I was gone, did you?"

"We did until the Buffy Bot got destroyed." Xander shook his head. "Poor little thing went up like a toaster when this demon cut into her wires or something. Willow tried to fix her but it was no use."

Dawn pouted. "I miss her. But at least Spike was here to help with the demons and stuff."

Ack. Him. "Oh...right." Subject change. "Well I guess I can get back into the swing of things soon. Fighting evil and all that girlie stuff."

The former Key rubbed her cheek, then placed her hands in her lap. "Um I--thank you. For like, my life. I've been wanting to say that for the longest time. What you did for me was so amazing."

"Aww Dawnie, you're my sister. I'd do it all over again if I had to." Buffy hugged her tight, kissing her forehead. "Saving the world, it's what I do."

Giles removed his glasses with a serene expression. "Hopefully next time you won't have to launch yourself into the unknown to do it."

"Meh, next time." She made a face, then blinked. "Oh! Um, oooh..."

"What is it?" Tara inquired, speaking for the first time. "Ar--are you in pain?"

Buffy stood and moved over to the mantle, folding her arms over her chest. "I--Los Angeles. I need to go to Los Angeles as soon as possible."

Willow chewed on the inside of her cheek. "To see Angel? We--well I told him that we couldn't find you and he got all broody about it. He'd be happy to know you're alright though I'm sure. But...you could just call him on the phone."

"Yes. Angel. He's probably in mourning or something." She averted her gaze. She just didn't feel comfortable springing the Faith revelations on them yet. "I'd rather see him in person though. Show him that I'm not a zombie or that I haven't been body snatched."

"Perhaps an in person reunion would be best." Giles admitted. "When do you plan to go?"

She shrugged, feigning nonchalance. "Tomorrow? They have buses running regularly, right?"

Xander scowled, rolling his eyes. "So soon? But you just got back..."

"I--I know but--it's just--it's important. Not that you guys aren't, because you are. Totally are. I wouldn't be standing here if it wasn't for the awesomeness of you." Mouth meet foot. "I just--there are things I need to get off my chest and I really feel they can't wait. I'd only--"

She was interrupted when the front door opened and Spike breezed in with his trademark black leather coat bellowing behind him. "Could have bloody told me we were done for the night. I know we aren't mates but..." He spotted the blonde and trailed off, just staring. "...Buffy?"

"Hello Spike." She offered up a small smile. He  _had_  tried to protect Dawn.

He took a step closer, still staring. "Wh--when did you--uh--how?"

"Willow. Magic. The usual." She chuckled slightly. "And about an hour ago. I hear you've been helping with the slaying; thank you. For keeping my friends safe and for looking out for Dawn."

He just nodded, apparently star struck. From his expression, she could tell all that pesky crushy love stuff was still there. That was probably gonna be a real drag in the coming days.

"Um I'm kinda beat. I guess traveling dimensions gives you killer jet lag." She thumbed to the stairs. "I'm gonna catch some zees. We can talk more tomorrow."

"Of course." Giles grinned and squeezed her arm affectionately. "I uh--I look forward to hearing more about this alternate dimension.

She figured that.

"It's great you're back, Buffy." Willow and Xander said in unison, then giggled at each other.

And just like that, things were more or less back to normal.

~*~

Yes.

The answer to the question was yes. Yes she did feel like the gum on someone's shoe for leaving her friends so soon after just getting home, but she knew she had to see Faith while her back bone wasn't squishy. Besides they were fine, and she wasn't sure she could say the same for the other Slayer. Five months had passed...anything could happen in that time period. Maiming and death were the highest on her list. Besides everyone understood her connection to Angel, so no one really put up much of a fuss when she expressed overt interest in seeing _him_. And it wasn't like she was gonna be gone long. A few hours at the most.

However she had a problem that was bigger than the goo goo eyes Spike had given her the previous night. She had no idea what jail Faith was in or how to go about seeing her, so she'd have to ask someone with knowledge on the matter.

She'd have to talk to Angel and either give him a Pinocchio type fib, or tell the truth. To be honest she hadn't decided which to go with yet. It depended on how he reacted to seeing her and everything.

The bus ride had given her a while to think though about everything. And she'd come to the conclusion that she thought too much. Also that bus bathrooms were totally disgusting and that all of the Purell in the world would never change that.

Team Angel knew she was coming; she'd called ahead so that someone would be on hand to give her a lift. She just prayed it wasn't Cordelia. She'd really had her fill of her for one decade.

So now here she was, standing near a bench outside of the drop off point, with her hands stuffed into the pockets of her stylish white jacket. She didn't have any bags since this wasn't an over night visit. Chewing on the inside of her cheek, her brows knit together as a vintage black convertible pulled up to the curb and a young black man hopped out. He glanced around and then spotted her, smoothing a hand over his bald head.

"Yo. You Buffy?" He asked, shrugging at his gray hoodie.

She nodded. "Yeah. Are you Gunn?"

"The one and only." He grinned and shook her hand. "Angel sent me to pick ya up. You ready?"

"As I'll ever be." Smiling, she followed him to the car and climbed in, putting on her seat belt. "So how are things at Angel Investigations?"

He turned the engine, threw up the gear and took off. "Same old same old really. A lot of kickin' ass and takin' names later. Glad you're alive cause Big A has been hella depressed since he got the news. Ran off to be with the monks or some shit."

_Geeze_. "I'm glad to be alive too, though technically I never died. It--it's a long story."

"I'm sure he'll be all ears." He chuckled and turned a corner, continuing down the street until he came to a large hotel.

Buffy blinked; this wasn't the tiny office she remembered. "He owns a hotel now?"

Gunn nodded as they got out. "Yup. It ain't the Ritz but it works. C'mon." He lead her inside and through the glass doors to the lobby. "Yo! We got a visitor!"

The first person that Buffy saw was Wesley as he stepped out of a back office in a button down blue shirt and white slacks. He smiled at her and came over, giving her a hug. "Hello Buffy. It's very nice to see you."

"Hey. It's good to see you too." She replied.

"Giles told me briefly about this alternate dimension. I'd be quite interested in picking your brain about it." He said, rubbing his hands together.

"Um...okay. Maybe later." She chuckled, noticing Cordelia.

The brunette strolled into the room, her hair short yet cute. "Hey Buffy. Heard you were like, dead or whatever. How did that work out for you?"

The blonde sighed. "Good. Apparently because I'm standing here." She paused. "So, where's Angel? I really need to talk to him."

"He's probably up in his room drawing more pathetic pictures of you." Cordelia shook her head. "Third door on the left. It's the master suite so I'm sure you'll be able to find it."

Buffy started up the stairs and walked slowly down the hallway, preparing herself for what was to come. She came to said door and knocked softly, hearing a low voice tell her to come in. Inhaling deeply, she turned the knob and did so.

Angel sat in a chair in the corner of the room, staring at nothing. When she walked inside, he stood abruptly and gazed at her intensely. He wore all black as usual, his expression stoic. "Buffy."

"Hi." She said timidly. "Not dead, see?"

He crossed the space in seconds and hugged her tightly, inhaling the smell of her hair. She returned the hug, resting her head to his chest. "It's nice to see you too."

"Are you alright?" He tipped up her chin. "Willow told me that they couldn't find you."

"Yeah I--the portal sent me to this other dimension but I got better." She chuckled, pulling away from him gently. Didn't wanna give him the wrong idea. "It was just like Sunnydale but not."

Tilting his head to the side, he studied her. "I'm glad that you are alright. Though you look like a woman on a mission..."

_Okay, here goes_. "Angel I--I know our last conversation wasn't exactly full of perk. Mom had just died and I was feeling very needy. An--and we kissed and...I want you to know I'm grateful that you showed up. It really helped. I probably would have fell to pieces even more if it hadn't been for you." They both knew the  _but_  was coming. "I--um--I need your help."

"What's wrong?" He inquired.

Fiddling with her fingers, she sighed. "I...I need to see Faith. It's important."

He arched a brow. "You want to see Faith...? Why?"

"Because--cause while I was away I had a dream about her and it made me really wanna see her." She admitted. "I wanna know that she is alright. And I know that I wanted to beat her the last time I saw her but, things change. I've decided to give her a second chance."

Angel blinked, stunned for a moment. "We--I--good. That's...good."

"Can you take me to see her?"

"Now?"

"Uh, yeah. I--I have to be home tonight because I promised Dawn I'd spend some time with her."

"That's quite a long drive, Buffy. And it's daylight so..."

"Oh. Oh. Ca--can someone else take me?"

"You  _honestly_ want to see her, don't you?" He questioned and she nodded. "Alright I'll take you. My car has tinted windows so I should be okay. You'll be searched thoroughly and you'll have to sign in."

"Okay." Buffy reached out and took his hand. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. And on the drive up, you can tell me what caused this miraculous change of heart." He smirked a little.

_Jeepers_.

~*~

She'd never been to a prison before. She'd never even drove past one on her way to somewhere. Yet here she was, outside of the scary looking jail with its high barb wire fences and its tall watch tower. She could just barely make out a tough looking woman with a rifle as she paced from one side of the tower to the other. The front of the area looked like any other building, with cars in the parking lot and employees going about their day.

Buffy sat in the front seat of Angel's vehicle, staring at the entrance. She stretched her restless legs the best she could and sighed. Just as she was about to open the door and head inside, fear clamped around her heart and started to squeeze. She started thinking on all the ways this could go wrong. How there could be yelling and name calling. Or worse, what if she were strip searched!

"I--I change my mind." She stammered, gripping her seat belt. "I can't do this."

The vampire with a soul glanced at her. "You can. Just relax. We've come too far for you to chicken out now."

"But maybe I am a chicken. A big fat chicken with feathers who is afraid to cross the road." She rambled. "What if I go in there an--and totally lose my cool? Go off on her or something?"

"That won't happen." He sounded so sure. "From everything you have told me, it seems like you've honestly forgiven her. Seeing her won't change that."

To pass the time, she and Angel had talked about nearly everything. Riley leaving and how he'd almost lost his faith in the forces of good. They touched briefly on the events after her mother's funeral and then how it had felt to be sucked into a portal that felt like it was burning the skin off your bones. She told him all about Alter Sunnydale and the Alter Scoobies, and a little about stable Faith. She told him that was one of the reasons why she wanted to make amends, because she'd seen how things could have made all the difference.

The having feelings for her stuff was left out on purpose.

He of course was happy with her change of heart, as she had suspected.

"I'm so nervous. I--I don't think I've ever been this nervous before." She thought on it. "I might throw up."

He chuckled. "Open the door first please. I just got the seats done." Cracking a grin, he put his hands on the steering wheel. "Maybe she will be happy to see you..."

"Maybe..." She whispered. "I want to see her but then I think about how I...lied to everyone. Actually I just let them think that I was coming to solely visit you. It's their fault for jumping to conclusions. Anyway how can I be all gung ho about talking to her when I'm lying to my bestest buds?"

"To protect them? Perhaps even her. After what she did, easing them into things would be best."

"I guess. Can't you like, throw a blanket over your head and run in with me?"

"No. I'd be smoking or either on fire, and that won't make a good impression with the guards."

"What if they like fire? It is pretty and keeps you warm in the winter."

"Buffy..."

"Yeah, yeah. I'm going. You're mean."


	14. Land Of Oz

Chapter Fourteen: Land Of Oz

Buffy sat in the hard black metal chair of the  _Northern California Women's Facility_ , with a pale green wall on either side that formed a half cubicle. A thick pane of stainless glass let her see into the prison where iron black bars kept people at bay. There were quite a few bars, and numbers over each booth. An out of date vending machine sat off to the right, as well as a small sign in desk. Other people were inside, visiting family members and old girlfriends. She perked up as a loud buzzer sounded and a figure began making their way closer from around a brightly lit corner. The first sets of bars were pulled open by a guard, and the figure stepped through an open archway into a small foyer.

While Buffy was more nervous than she'd ever been, Faith's expression on the other hand was stoic. She was dressed in the dark blue jumpsuit, just like in the dream. She sat down in her metal chair and picked up the phone received on her side, tilting her head.

Buffy swallowed and did the same, dragging her eyes up from the black words that read  _DO NOT TOUCH THE GLASS_. "Um...hi."

"Sup, B?" Faith mused, leaning forward slightly onto her elbows. "When they said some little blonde thing was here to see me, I thought  _Angel's lost weight_. Didn't know they meant you." She paused. "So, what brings ya to my neck of the woods?"

"Uh...well I...uh..." Stammering, she tried to make the words in her head come out her mouth. "Ho--how have you been?"

"Still alive." The brunette shrugged. "Never thought I'd see ya in here though. Shit must be heavy for you to pay me a visit."

_Uh oh_. "I..." Trailing off, she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. She'd expected Faith to remember the dream and the song, but she appeared oblivious. Which meant things were going to be that much harder, and that her fuzzy wuzzy feelings could be one sided. As if life wasn't hard enough. "Yo--you don't remember the dream?"

"What dream?"

"Our...the Slayer dream. We had two. We...talked."

"Nope. Doesn't ring a bell. What were they about?"

"Oh--well you--I--we...there was..."

Faith snickered. "Jesus, B. Never figured you one who couldn't find the words. Always had so many for me back in the day." Grinning and showing those impressive dimples, she shifted in her seat. "Relax Blondie, I remember the dreams. I'm just fuckin' with ya."

Buffy's mouth dropped, then she fumed. "You--Faith! That wasn't funny. I was about to freak out."

"Heh, funny to me." The other girl stretched. "Glad to see ya home though. Guess the Scoobies came through after all."

The blonde nodded, meeting her gaze. She found herself drowning in brown eyes that looked calm, but she could detect past hurt that simmered like a stalling storm. Regret and ongoing redemption floated beneath the surface revealing all of the reasons that made her  _Faith_. Her Faith. "Yeah. They told me I'd been away for a while."

"Yup." She nodded. "Was it like that for you?"

"No. It was only a few weeks." The older Slayer said softly. "Almost seems like less when I think about our last dream."

Silence.

"Faith I..." Sighing, she tried again. "I had to come and see you. You're the reason I wanted to come home. There is so much I need to tell you, but I--honestly I dunno if I'm gonna be able to say it without a ramble-a-thon."

Silence.

Buffy frowned before she could stop herself. "You don't have anything to say? No pearls of wisdom..."

Faith shrugged again. "What do ya wanna hear? I mean I'd say it if I knew what you're on about."

_Does she always have to be so difficult_? "You know what, never mind. I'm starting to think everything was in my head. And if you don't wanna talk then fine, we won't talk."

"Geeze, lighten up. 3 Libras." The convict replied fluidly. "Didja ever get the hint?"

"Yes, and I see you." The blonde whispered. "I see you more now than I ever have. I--I'm sorry for everything. All of it."

"Me too." She glanced down. "I know that doesn't make it aight, but for what it's worth I am too. And I'm tryin', ya know? Tryin' to serve my time and prove that I'm on the straight and narrow now."

Buffy lifted a hand towards the glass, and then spied the words again. "Going to opposite world and meeting the people there--it really opened my eyes to things I'd never even considered before. I went on this mind walk with a spirit guide, and she helped me come to terms with hidden feelings and emotions that I'd buried after--after the Mayor stuff." Taking a moment to gather her thoughts, she continued. "I still don't know  _what_  I'm feelin', but I knew I had to see you. That I  _wanted_  to see you and clear the air. Give you a second chance because you deserve one. Because I meant it all those years ago when I said I was on your side."

Faith licked her lips slowly. "Wow, those dreams really did a number on ya..."

She smiled. "Maybe. Or maybe they gave me the nudge I needed to start putting things straight. Between us." A beat. "You said you missed me. Was that the truth?"

"Yeah..."

"An--and now? Can you..."

" _Feel_  you? Yeah. Felt ya the moment you got home. Was like someone kicked started my engine."

"Um, so I think I know now."

"You know what?"

"How you can make it better." The older female remarked. "You wanna know, this is how. Tell me the truth; have you ever had feelings for me? Do you have feelings for me?"

The convict's long lashes fluttered, and she fell quiet. She stared at nothing in front of her, and the blonde waited patiently as the wheels in her head turned and cranked. After about three minutes, she sighed. "I dunno what cha want from me, B. I--I'm locked up. I can't give ya anythin'."

"You can give me the truth." Buffy responded. "That's a start. Considering all that w--we've been through, I think it's something we both need."

"And what's it gonna change?"

"Everything. It'll change everything."

"Yeah. That's the problem though ain't it?"

"Faith, please. I--I need to know; it's important."

The brunette ran a hand through her corkscrew curls and leaned back in her chair, spreading her legs under the small counter top. Her body slouched and she wet her bottom lip, seemingly at war with herself. She glanced to the round clock behind a tiny iron gate, and then nodded. "Yeah. I...had a thing for ya."

Buffy felt her heart squeeze tight as if a fist was wrapped around it. "Had? So you don't anymore..."

Faith swallowed hard. "What do you think?"

"Honestly? I dunno what to think. I--I mean all of this has hit me like whiplash. One day I--I'm obsessed with saving Dawn and the world. I didn't have time for anything else. And then I'm in this place and things are  _so_  different. I've been flooded with spirit guide info and Slayer dreams--" Trailing off, she rubbed her cheek. "I'd rather not think if I can help it."

"Do ya think I would have wasted my time tryin' to get cha back in this world if I didn't...want ya here? Do ya think I would have raged so fucken much back in the day if things had been a crush gone bad?" Asked the other Slayer. "I dig ya. I  _still_  dig ya, maybe a little less since ya stabbed me but ya get me."

The blonde chuckled lightly. "Would it help if I apologized a thousand times for that?"

"Rather focus on the future, actually. So, what now?"

"Good question. I never thought of that. All I've had on my mind is talking to you."

"Didn't know I could ever make ya that twisted."

"I just wanted to get everything…fixed. I  _needed_  to get everything fixed."

"Is it though? I mean we don't even know where we are."

"I know that I—I wanna be with you. I wanna…continue to get to know the real you."

Faith snorted but not scornfully. "Well come back in twenty five years or a few decades when my parole is up and we'll talk."

Buffy blinked and ignored the guard pacing behind her. "Wow that's…wow."

"Yeah. I won't exactly be a spring chicken when I leave here." She replied slowly. "They don't give slaps on the wrist for what I did. Besides…" She sighed. "Us? Datin'?  _Us_?"

_Well when you say it like that_. "What? You like me and I like you. We're…in like with each other. After what I have been through, I feel as if doin' nothing would be a waste."

The brunette leaned closer to the glass. "So you gonna write me dirty letters to keep things spicy? Hijack more of my dreams? Or maybe just wait for me—I don't see it."

"There are ways…" The blonde suggested. "If we were serious about…things. I could find a way to make us work in the real world."

The other female grinned and tongued the crease in her bottom lip. "Whatever you say, Blondie. Sure the Scoobs would  _love_  ya wastin' energy on me."

_What they don't know and all that yadda yadda_. "They'll be alright and in the meantime I'll come visit you whenever I can."

Faith studied her for a moment, her expression unreadable. "We'll see then I guess."

"Time's up!" The guard barked out.

"That's my cue." The convict smirked and hung up the phone, standing and pushing the chair back with her legs. She mouthed the phrase 'see ya, B' and winked, then headed back into the belly of the beast with the other inmates.

Buffy watched her and slowly placed the receiver back onto its cradle. That had gone better than expected. But then again anytime they didn't come to blows was better than expected. Yet there were more pressing issues on the horizon. Like how they'd manage to be together and how her friends would react to the news. Things could go so wrong and probably would because that was the track record of Buffy. Whatever could happen would happen, most likely with a lot of people watching.

~*~

"How did it go?"

Buffy slid back into the front seat of Angel's car and smiled at him. She tucked strands of hair behind her ear. "It went really well. We had probably the best talk ever."

"That's great." He replied with a grin. "I told you things would be okay."

"Yeah yeah." She chuckled. "It was nice to have a conversation with her that didn't involve her fist hitting my face. And I'm glad that she's doing so good even though she is locked up."

He nodded. "She's working very hard to make amends for all of the wrongs she committed. I'm quite proud of her."

Me too oddly enough. "Still…apart of me thinks she would do more good fighting evil, ya know? Slaying vampires and killing demons. Who is she helping by being locked away?"

"Herself." The vampire said without hesitation. "She chooses to keep herself in that jail. No bars could hold her if she wanted out. This is her way of redeeming her soul. Of taking responsibility for her actions. It's a long, hard process but it's what she needs to keep away the darkness."

"But…I mean she would do alright if she was out. Right?" She inquired. "She wouldn't just go back to trying to kill people."

He shook his head. "No. If she were released any time soon I think she would be okay. But she won't break out."

"Good cause that's not what I was getting at."

"Then…what  _are_  you getting at?"

"Nothing."

"Buffy…"

"It's nothing. Like I said I just think she should be out saving the world. I understand that she has to save herself first."

He stared at her intensely as if he were reading her mind. And perhaps he was. Angel always did have a sixth sense when it came to her. He seemed to consider his next words carefully. "Faith needs to decide for herself what is best for her without input from anyone else. If you need help with something in Sunnydale, the guys and I will be there in a second."

The blonde turned her attention out of the window. "Everything is fine back home." Pause. "Look, I didn't come here to try and force her to break out of jail. I came to make sure that she was okay. To apologize for all of the crap that we put each other through. I thought you would be happy that I don't wanna stab her. Again."

"I am." He said honestly. "I just can't help question your motives, especially considering what happened in the past."

"That past is past tense. I'm livin' a past free life." She frowned a little. "Anyway thank you for bringing me here. I really appreciate it."

As he bid her welcome, she decided that it wouldn't be right for Angel to be her ride anymore. He knew her too well and if she kept blabbing about Faith like a lost puppy, he'd figure everything out. So another mode of transportation would be in order; a taxi though she'd have to make sure she had enough cash for the meter. When things weren't in the middle of the hot frying pan, she'd let the cat out of the bag.

Until then, secrets were the way to go. Sure they never did anyone any favors, but that didn't stop people from keeping them. And yes one usually lead to another but she had a big closet that could fit tons of skeletons.

In the end, everyone would be better off. At least that is what she would keep telling herself until things weren't so loopy anymore. Maybe if she repeated it over and over again, she'd actually start to believe it herself.


	15. One Little Lie

Chapter Fifteen: One Little Lie

Faith sat at her table in the large lunchroom, her fork playing with the white noodles on her silver tray. All around her women of every race and religion were chatting and eating, as guards with their night sticks hanging from their belts wandered from one side of the room to the other. She yawned and glanced to the big clock near the mess line, sighing deeply. Another day alive, another day to atone or some shit like that. Least that's what Angel would say.

He always dropped some kinda knowledge on her when he came to visit. He'd make sure she was in one piece, and then lapse into a spiel about redemption and how it was never easy. Yeah, no shit dude. Back when it was all stabbin' fun and games, she never thought about how it would be when she decided to do the good girl thing. How she'd wake up in the middle of the night from dreams that turned her stomach inside out. How she'd see their faces and hear their voices; how fucked up she'd become.

Being bad had been a slice of apple pie compared to what she was doin' now. But like someone once said, if it was that easy to go good guy, everyone would be doin' it.

Dropping her utensil, she glanced to the left as a woman slowly made her way over, with her graying red hair up in a messy ponytail. She plopped down in a chair at her table and sprinkled salt on her food. "Sup?"

Faith nodded. "Same ole same ole."

"You gonna eat that?" She pointed to her roll.

The brunette handed it over. "Help yourself."

"Whoa, Lehane. Never seen you turn down grub before, not even the bad shit." The woman laughed. "This wouldn't have anythin' to do with your visitor yesterday…would it?"

"Nosy much, Shirley?"

"Just makin' conversation like we usually do."

"I'll bet. Got a lot on my mind if ya must know."

"Little blonde thing the reason? Thought you and that big fella were a couple…"

"Angel? Nah, he's like a big brother to be honest. Help keeps me stable."

"So the blonde?"

"Eh. She's a chick I knew from way back when. Someone I wronged."

Shirley arched a brow and swallowed the food in her mouth. "Oh? She didn't looked  _wronged_  from where I was sitting. She was making serious eyes at you."

Faith smirked, folding her arms over her chest. "So we got wicked history, right? And she shows up sayin' she wants to be with me and all that stuff. I dunno what I think of it. I mean I'm down but yunno? Buffy always makes the simple complicated."

The older female smiled. "With the way you fight off the chicks in here, I thought you were strictly dickly. Guess you were just keepin' it on locked down for that special someone, huh?"

"Not…really. Ain't no one in here my type is all." The Slayer mused. "Not to mention I don't know what these bitches got." She paused, eying the other inmates. "Though it would be easier to fuck and run. Buffy is gonna want the whole nine yards. I've never done that before. Oh, and her friends can't stand me. How we gonna make it work when the odds are stacked against us?"

"Same way me and my hubby do. You just take it one day at a time, especially when you're in here. Jeff comes to visit me whenever he can, and he's devoted. Bastard knows if he cheated on me I'd cut off his balls and shove 'em up his ass." Shirley laughed deeply. "Things will be easy when I get out."

A snort. "Yeah, but you only robbed a few banks. You'll probably be out a long time before I will."

"True. Maybe she'll wait for ya."

"I kinda doubt it. Maybe if this was an alternate universe."

"Still it's nice to see someone else visitin' ya. Don't wanna end up one of those women who never gets a visit. Like Tanya."

"It's not—I mean I never minded no one comin' to see me. Ain't got no one like that besides Angel. I just…like I said things are gonna get complicated, and I kinda feel like I should back off. B's life is already screwed up enough without throwin' me back into the mix."

"You say no and she's just gonna want you more. That's been my experience at least when it comes to love and lust."

Faith itched at her cheek and cracked her knuckles loudly. "Word. If her mind is set on  _us_ , she'll never leave me alone."

Shirley shoved another forkful into her mouth. "Heh not like you want her too. Maria saw her and wouldn't shut up about her. I'd tell ya what she was saying, but I don't want you to end up in solitary confinement for breaking her face. Again."

"It's her own fault, she keeps trying to test me." The brunette rolled her eyes. "Next time I'll do more than put her in the infirmary."

"I heard that. I'll help, but not because I wanna defend your girl's honor…" She grinned broadly. "Just because I like to fight."

~*~

The box was heavy but she carried it like it was nothing more than a stack of pillows. Carefully she sat it over in the corner and made sure the tape was on tight so that nothing gross could crawl inside. The basement was pretty dry most of the time, which was a good thing, because she didn't want these valuables to get messed up. Still perhaps getting a storage shelter somewhere was not a bad idea either. She'd have to talk to Giles about it.

Buffy slowly let her big green eyes roll around, landing on the staircase. She could hear her friends above as they rambled around, making lunch and entertaining her little sister. Xander and Anya had arrived earlier that morning so that he could check on the garbage disposal because it had been acting weird lately. Willow and Tara walked in about an hour later, and Tara could not say no when Dawn requested one of her famous tuna fish sandwiches.

Somewhere between  _how's the pipes_  and  _where's the bread_ , it had been decided that the witches would move in with them. Buffy was not sure why they wanted to—but in the end she had come to like the idea. The house would feel very empty with her mom dead, not like home at all.

So she'd packed up her mother's clothes and odd knick-knacks, and moved them down into the basement. She would keep her room and let her friends have the master suite as it were. Less moving around to do.

Wetting her lips, she took a deep breath and jogged back up into the kitchen. Everyone had wanted to know how things went with Angel, but she'd just lied and said it was intense. And it had been but for different reasons.

It was clear that she was going to have to  _ease_  everyone into the Faith stuff. Just blurting it out in an Anya like fashion would clear her conscious, but it would also probably give someone a heart attack. And it wasn't the fact that it was  _Faith_  that had her on edge. Though to be honest that was a big enough hill of beans by itself. However Faith was a female too. She had girlie parts; heaving bosom and that other thing.

Willow would definitely have questions about the how, where and why that came together. Questions that she was still trying to figure out as well. She'd never looked at a young woman before and thought  _I could have sex with her._  Those feelings had never reared their head…before Faith. So, it was clear that she was in her  _B.F_. period of life.

_Before Faith_.

Trying to pin down and classify her feelings for Faith had her mind reeling like after a fight. Three rounds with Mike Tyson like fuzzies, and she was ready to throw in the towel. And it was just the beginning.

"So ar—are you sure you don't mind us moving in?" Willow asked for the ninth time. "Be—because we could keep staying at the dorms. Communal living isn't that bad once you get passed the smell."

Buffy chuckled, plucking an apple from a basket on the table. "No I don't mind, so stop asking me! I think it would be nice to have you guys around. Besides you've been staying here since I disappeared—making you leave would be wrong."

"I still can't seem to wrap my head around the fact that there is another me." Anya sighed, shaking her head. "Just running around all la di da. Out of all the other dimensions I have been to, I never saw another me. Should I be worried?"

"I doubt it." The Slayer leaned against the wall. "The only things she seemed to care about were money and Xander. If she showed up here, man I don't even wanna think about how that would be if she showed up here."

"Wait a second now…" Xander began with a leering smile. "That might not be such a bad thing after all. Is anyone else thinking threesome?"

"Xander!" Willow hit his shoulder. "We have a—a young person here."

Dawn chuckled, wiping her hands on a napkin. "It's okay guys. They taught us sex ed last year in school. Besides, we  _do_ have cable."

"Guys? Find a new subject." The blonde mused.

They didn't have to however, because seconds later the back door flew open and a smoking blanket ran into the room. Everyone watched as Spike tossed it to the side and shrugged at his black leather jacket, smoothing a hand across his pale forehead. He grinned and immediately sought out Buffy. "Hey."

"Hello Spike." She replied. "Kinda early for you to be out isn't it?"

"I was in the neighborhood." He lied, and it was so obvious. "Just thought I'd check up on ya and see how you're doin'. Travelin' dimensions usually leaves a person all kinds of knackered."

"I'm good, actually. It was easier coming home than getting there. Not to mention less painful." She smiled at him. "Um, I wanna thank you again for all that you did…for my friends and for Dawn."

He lowered his head, slightly bashful. "No problem. Happy to help."

Xander snorted. "Happy to try and score extra points with her you mean."

"Either way, saved your stupid life a few times didn't I?" The vampire smirked. "Didn't hear much complainin' when I was pulling that Balsog demon off your back."

"Hey Spike, let's go for a walk. It's a nice  _sunny_  day outside." The other man snapped. "Or better yet, why don't I just open the door and shove you out? Feel free to burn up and die."

As they bickered back and forth, Buffy stole from the room and outside onto the front porch. She sat down on the steps and sighed, blowing a wayward strand of hair out of her face. It was weird; the whole Spike being in love with her thing. She wasn't sure how to act around him because she didn't wanna give him the wrong idea. Still she was grateful that he'd protected those that she cared about. Not grateful enough to kiss him again though. Maybe a handshake would do this time.

"You okay?" Dawn slowly made her way outside. "If—if you wanna be alone I can..."

"No, it's okay." Her sister smiled and scooted over, giving her room to sit. "Just…thinking I suppose."

"About Spike?"

"Yeah. How was he when I was gone?"

"A wreck really. I didn't know someone without a soul could—ya know—feel that kinda stuff. I'm sure the chip helped him be tamer, but he did a lot of stuff he didn't have to. Patrolling and stuff."

"I'm glad he helped. Next to me he is the second strongest."

"Well, he'd do anything for you Buffy. He's still totally in love with you."

"Yeah…that's what worries me. And kinda freaks me out at the same time."

"Why? I mean it's not like he can do anything, being  _chips a hoy_  and all."

"True but, I still don't want him hovering like a ghost. Wh—what if I wanna date and he goes all jealous boyfriend on me?"

"Who would you date?"

"I dunno. Someone. Anyone."

The former Key tilted her head to the side. "Did you and Angel like, get back together or something?"

Buffy blinked. "What? No—no that's—no. He's doing his thing and I am doing mine." Pause. "It was just a sort of rhetorical thing…me dating."

Dawn eyed her for a moment, and then shrugged. "Only you would just get back from whacko world and be thinking about boys."

"Yeah…" The blonde said slowly. "Boys. Penis. Good."

"What?"

"Nothing."

~*~

For the inmates of the  _Northern California Women's Facility_ _,_ there were only a few things more interesting than someone getting shanked. A good movie, a good molesting some innocent newcomer, a good fight, and watching the strongest girl around bench press five times her weight. No one understood how she could do it, but they watched with rapt fascination as she lifted the heavy barbells like they were nothing.

Though truth be told a lot of them watched just because it made them hot. Beggars couldn't be choosers when in their situation.

When she felt like showing off, Faith would do her whole work out routine with just one hand. Yeah so it wasn't the best thing—drawin' needless attention to herself but it's not like she cared. No one in the joint knew what a Slayer was anyway. They just thought she was wicked strong, possibly on steroids.

Putting the weight back into its holder, she sat up and shook out her arms. She hadn't even broken a sweat. Running a hand through her hair, she groaned inwardly as Maria (the resident trouble maker) slowly made her way over. She was one of those big sorta prison girls, the kind you'd see on a movie with a tattoo on her chest and corn rolls that swung down her back.

"Working out?" She inquired, as if she needed to be confirmed of the obvious.

"Yup." Faith muttered. "But if you want it I can move."

Maria grinned deviously. "Nah I'm good." She cleared her throat. "So um, who was that girl that you were talking to yesterday? I'd never seen her come here before."

"Old friend." Her voice was even.

"She was very pretty. Kinda delicate looking too." The other inmate replied. "Reminds me of someone I once knew; this hooker who lived on my block."

The brunette twitched. "Oh? Sounds like a story for another time…"

"Oh I dunno." A beat. "I don't see how ya do it though. If I had a hot little piece of ass like that on the outside, I'd be clawin' the walls at night. Say, how is she if ya know what I mean…"

"Really don't wanna talk about that with  _you_. "Faith stood and squared her shoulders. "Would appreciate it if ya keep ya mouth shut as well."

"Ooh testy." Maria laughed. "Gotta say you surprised some of the girls and I. Especially since you always act like you too good to go down…"

"Not too good. Just got higher standards. Can't fuck everythin' that walks like you do."

"So ya let the blonde ride ya face cause what? She didn't look no better than the rest of us."

"If you don't get  _outta_  my face, I'm gonna mess yours up."

"Bring it, bitch. And after I'm done beatin' the shit outta ya? My crew and I gonna have us a little taste."

Faith's fist moved with a will of its own, slamming into the other woman's nose. There was a loud crack and blood spurted, running down Maria's shirt. She screamed and made to lunge, but found herself shoved into a nearby wall by two guards who had been watching the exchange. As she struggled to get loose and shouted expletives, a tall black man with a bald head gently pushed the Slayer out of the room and into the hallway.

"Again?" He chuckled lightly.

She huffed. "She started it, Eddie."

"And you had to finish it, didn't cha?" He arched a brow. "What was it this time? Did she say something about your mama?"

She cracked a grin despite herself. "No. But she was talkin' shit."

He nodded, folding his arms over his chest. "Next time try to ignore her. Anyway, you got a visitor."

Her ears perked up. "Who?"

"That Angel guy." Eddie revealed as he lead her towards the visitation area. "You're mighty popular all of a sudden."

She snickered, shoving her hands into her pants. "Yeah, lucky me."

Five minutes later and she was sitting behind the thick glass, staring at the vampire with a soul. She picked up the receiver and tapped her nails on the small counter, wondering what he was gonna lay on her this time. "Hey man."

"Hello Faith." He said with a smile. "How are you?"

"Five by five." Was her answer. "What brings ya by?"

"Buffy." He stated.

_Saw that comin' a mile away_. "Oh? You'll be happy to know she didn't kick my ass yesterday."

He chuckled. "So I heard. I am glad that you guys are getting along."

Her brown eyes took in his expression. "Okay. What else is there to say then?"

Angel fell quiet for a moment, gathering his thoughts. "She seems…different. I wonder if something happened to her in that alternate dimension."

"Like what? She was okay when I talked to her."

"Nothing bad. But there were things that she was saying. About you being in here."

"I'm not followin' ya."

He lowered his voice. "I know Buffy, and I can tell when there is something going on in her head. I think she might try to convince you to break out."

Faith gave a husky laugh. "Dude, she came to see me once. I hardly think she wants me to go all  _the fugitive_  or whatever. And why would she?"

"You tell me." Stoic. "Did she say anything about a new evil or something?"

"Nope." The brunette said. "I think you're lookin' too much into this, man. Maybe she just thinks I'm wastin' away in here. You always say no one can understand what we go through until they join our club. Guess she doesn't  _get it_  in a way. Glad she doesn't."

"You'd tell me if it was anything else. Right?" He asked seriously.

And then she did something she didn't know she could do, especially considering their past. She looked him right in the eyes and lied. "Of course I would. No worries, bro."

Yup. Buffy plus simple equaled complicated.


	16. A Way Out

Chapter Sixteen: A Way Out

The apartment that Faith had called home while working for the Mayor was exactly as she'd left it, with her things all packed up and ready to be shipped…somewhere. He'd made sure that no one else could rent it, because he'd always believed  _his Faith_  would wake up one day, and when she did she would need a place to lay her weary head. Buffy stood in the midst of boxes with her hands on her hips, trying to decide where to start her searching. She wasn't looking for anything in particular, just anything to take home so that she had  _something_  of Faith's.

Idly she wondered what had ever happened to that cat?

She was in day three of her self-imposed operation, keeping a secret from her best friends. For some reason it had been easier when she'd been hiding Angel, maybe because it wasn't something she thought about every other hour. Plus they were more or less trying to be just friends and that wasn't the case with Faith. Yes she wanted to be her friend, but of course that wasn't the only thing she wanted from her.

Back then when she had brought up Angel's name, Xander would make a rude comment and Giles would get his pensive face. However she wasn't sure what the reactions would be to bringing up Faith's name. Yet she tried to consider how alike they were when it came to the evil they'd both committed. In both situations innocent people ended up dead. Perhaps Angel's case could be even worse since he'd murdered Jenny Calendar and left her body in Giles' bed.

Most if not all of what Faith did concerned her. Except for the trying to choke Xander thing.

Maybe if she started saying how over she was with all that unpleasantness, everyone else would hop aboard her forgiveness train. Or leave her standing on the platform all alone.

Though there had been some Angel forgiveness eventually, the same thing could occur with Faith. While her actions had been very wrong side of the law, she was atoning. And of her own volition. And she had fair friends who would totally notice the redemption going on, and pat her on the back for it. With knife free hands.

Shaking her head, she pushed everything else out of her mind and tried to remember why she'd come to this place. She moved over to a set of boxes and rummaged through, finding clothes and bits of fake jewelry that had tarnished a long time ago. The gray Playstation and all of its wires were wrapped in a plastic bag so that no harm would come to it.

Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, she looked in a second box and stopped when she found something slightly unexpected. Tucked underneath a red wife beater was a crumpled picture of her, smiling and happy as she sat on a headstone. She remembered Faith bringing the dinky disposable camera that night just for kicks, but she'd never figured she'd actually develop the pictures. Or that she'd hang onto one, especially after they became enemies.

"I never knew you at all, did I?" She said to the empty room.

Sighing, Buffy stuffed it back to its hiding place and 'aha-d' when she finally found what she'd been looking for. The cross was silver and small; probably the only real piece of jewelry that the brunette had ever owned. But she'd worn it often, and would fiddle with it when listening to Giles explain their latest baddie.

Undoing the tiny clasp, she slipped it on and tucked it under her shirt.

If all the years of destroying evil had taught her anything, it was that things had a way of backfiring, even when you thought you were doing the right thing. Or especially when you thought you were doing the right thing in her case. She could remember the times people had gotten hurt because of her actions. Because she thought she was being the self-righteous champion that the world needed to survive. Because she was so sure that she was protecting the ones she loved. And that's what she told herself she was doing this time around.

Keeping her Scoobies safe, but safe from what? Faith? Or perhaps just the memory of Faith…

No. She was going to do things right for once. She was going to tell someone about Alter Faith and Home Faith, and just hoped everything didn't go kabloobie in her face. But whom could she trust right off the bat? Who would keep her secret no matter what?

And suddenly the answer was obvious.

~*~

She stood outside of her Watcher's door, shifting from one foot to the other like she had to tinkle very badly. It was like a nervous twitch, almost as bad as that weird eye thing Xander got sometimes. But she'd made up her mind. Someone needed to know, someone that she could trust who would be totally non judgy. Who would be in the middle and stay in the middle no matter what. Well…unless Faith broke out of jail and killed Olivia but that wasn't going to happen.

One; Faith wasn't homicidal anymore and two; Olivia had went back to England.

Taking an extremely deep breath, she rapped on the door and then slowly walked in. "Giles?"

"Oh. Hello Buffy." He said as he strolled into his kitchen for more tea. "How are you?"

"I—I'm fine." She chewed on her bottom lip. "But I--th—there is something I haven't told you guys about Alter Sunnydale. It—it's not bad I just don't know how to say it. But I need to say it because—because I really need someone I can confide in before my own thoughts drive me bonkers."

He arched a brow and removed his glasses. "Well best to start from the beginning."

Deep sigh. "Well…as you know—because I've said so—you were there. Or a Giles was there, just like Xander and the rest. But I kinda left someone out. Faith was there." Pausing, to gauge his reaction, she continued. "An—and she wasn't all angry and bent on playing with my life like it was a video game. Sh—she was calm. Normal."

Her Watcher nodded, his expression still pleasant. "I see, and did you two get along?"

She smiled at the memories. "We did, surprisingly well actually. She um…she had a great life and you—the other Giles was her Watcher. He'd made her stable so hadn't gone off the deep end without a paddle."

"That sounds quite remarkable."

"Freaked me out at first, but then I started thinking about our Faith and how she could have turned out. It—it's possible she could be good, right?"

He waved a hand, sticking the other in his pocket. "I believe so. She is in prison right now trying to reform. Perhaps when she is released, we shall see another side of her."

Buffy sat down on the sofa, putting her hands in her lap. "I had a Slayer dream with her while I was there. The things she told me—the things I found out—they made me see her differently.  _Really_  differently. Heaps even."

Another brow quirked up. "And…is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"Good. Very good." Swallowing hard, she gazed at him. "I wanna tell you something but I am not sure how you will react."

Giles chuckled lightly and sat down beside her, patting her shoulder affectionately. "You can confide in me, Buffy. You are aware of that."

"I know that but I really don't wanna be the one who gives you a heart attack. Not that I want anyone to give you a heart attack! Because I don't. I—I just don't wanna be the  _one_  who gives you one if you ever end up having one." She rambled.

"Alright. I can assure you that I am in perfect health so…whatever you have to say will not cause me harm. Besides I didn't die when you announced that you and Spike were getting married, did I?" He joked to lighten her nervous mood.

"You drunk a lot."

"Just a few glasses of my best Scotch. Will I uh…be needing more Scotch?"

"No… I—there—Faith has feelings for me!" She blurted out.  _There is some truth in that statement_.

He blinked, slightly shocked. He had not seen  _that_  coming. "Oh, I see. Romantic feelings?"

"Yeah." She stuck out her lower lip. "Is that weird?"

"I—I couldn't say, Buffy." He stammered a little. "I suppose on some level it would make sense, considering her behavior in the past. Some of her actions did have a tinge of uh—uh scorned lover to them."

_They did_? "They did? I mean they did. Right."

Giles cleared his throat, slipping his glasses back on. "And…how do you feel about her?"

"I…I'm not mad at her anymore. I'm over the badness." She said honestly. "I just—I want us to have a second chance."

"That is very good. Have you forgiven her for everything that she put you through?"

"Pretty much. Is  _that_  weird?"

"No. A human's best defense against the darkness in their own soul is forgiveness."

"So hypothetically, if I—I decided to visit her in jail and see her, you wouldn't like, freak out?"

"No. I do not think it would be my place to behave in such a way."

"Yeah but, you wouldn't be disappointed in me, right?"

"Of course not. I dare say I would be quite…proud."

She sighed with obvious relief. "Good, I'm glad to hear that."

He offered up a soft, understanding grin. "Buffy, while you have not always been the best judge of character, you have a big heart and I am amazed by your capacity to love. To always try to do the right thing. If reaching out to Faith is what you feel you need to do, then by all means do it."

She nodded, chewing on her bottom lip. "What about the others? They are gonna go coo coo for coca puffs when they find out."

He removed his glasses again, this time to clean them. "Hm. Once you explain perhaps they will see things in a new light…"

_If by new light you mean total darkness_. "Yeah. Ca—can we keep this between us for now though? Just until I work out how to tell them…"

"Of course." He said.

She leaned back to the sofa. "Thanks Giles. I knew I could come to you."

~*~

Buffy had never owned a cell phone in her life. When everyone else was going crazy for them because they were the newest fashion accessories she was…well she was fighting fiends from beyond the grave. But the point was they'd never appealed to her because she'd never had anyone to call. And whenever someone needed her, they knew where to find her. Especially since there were not a lot of places to go in Sunnydale.

So she found it slightly odd to be held up in her room with the door locked, staring at the shiny silver flip phone in her hands. Unable to afford a lengthy contract for something she would only use once a week (if even that), she'd purchased a calling card doohickey or whatever the clerk had called it. He'd explained how it all worked but she'd been more concerned with ring tones.

After agonizing over which would be the perfect chime to alert her that someone  _special_  was calling, she'd finally settled on Garbage's  _You Look So Fine_. Sure  _3 Libras_  would have been the most obvious choice, but she was trying to be stealthy. At least for a little while anyway. Besides who could resist Shirley Manson's voice?

Wetting her lips, she exhaled and dialed the number Angel had given her. Rather reluctantly but that was another story altogether. She spoke to the operator and was then put on hold with the most annoying muzac playing. It sounded like something you would hear in an elevator as it climbed from floor to floor.

Ten minutes later, give or take a second, a husky voice appeared. "Hello?"

"Faith?" She sat up straight, pulling one leg under her.

"B?" The brunette chuckled. "You're actually callin' me? Gotta say this is kinda weird."

"Why?" She inquired. "Is there a rule that says I can't call you? And if so who made this rule because I would like to speak to them about getting it revoked."

Faith laughed, leaning against the wall. "No rule. Just weird, but then I find a lot of things weird these days. What's up?"

Buffy twirled a strand of her hair, and then frowned at herself. She was not a hair twirler. "I got a cell phone so that you can call me if they let you. The number is 555-2003, think you'll remember that?"

"I'll have it tattooed on my cheek."

"You're a real laugh riot."

"Yup. So, what cha wearin'? Please tell me it's totally slutty and edible."

"What!"

The convict snickered, picturing the outraged look on the other girl's face. "I don't know why ya act like the offended virgin, B. We both know that is not the case."

Buffy snorted, but grinned to herself. "You know I've never been non blushy when it comes to your flirting. I—I guess it's just gonna take me a while to get used to it." Pause. "Anyway, how are you?"

"Five by five." She yawned. "Ya know you don't gotta check on me like I'm some kid. I've been in here for a while, I know the ropes."

"I know." The blonde itched at her neck. "It's polite to ask someone how they are though. But if you really wanna know, I just wanted to hear the sound of your voice."  _And make sure you were still in one piece_.

Not certain how to respond to something so thoughtful, Faith cleared her throat. "Buffy, are you sure this is what you want? I mean—I got a lot of baggage that's gonna be flyin' your way if we keep going. And it's probably only a matter of time before another big bad hits the scene. Shouldn't you be focusin' on being a hero, not some criminal?"

Feeling the need to move around, Buffy stood and paced from her vanity to her window. "I can do both if the situation calls for it. I'm quite multi talented."

"Can't wait to test that theory."

"I'm serious! Why? Have you changed your mind about…stuff?"

"No I've…just been thinkin'. Lots of shit could come up dealin' with us. And you've got your hands full savin' the world and all that. I don't wanna distract you."

"You won't. But it means something that you're actually thinking about my feelings."

"I've always thought about your feelings. Just sorta decided to crush 'em anyway."

"Gee, thanks."

"Hey what can I say, I was a real bitch back then. I…didn't know how to handle what I was feelin' and what I was goin' through. I was more or less drowin'."

"I'm sorry."

"No worries. I got better."

Smirking, Buffy moved to her window and looked out. "I—um—I kinda told Giles about us. Not that we are gonna…" She searched for the right word. "…date. But that we are gonna try to be friends at least. He was very supportive."

Faith removed the cigarette from her pocket and stuck it behind her ear, under her hair. "Sounds like G. Glad he didn't chew ya out for wantin' to reconnect."

She nodded to no one. "Actually he was for it. He thinks forgiving you is a good way to save my soul."

The brunette's brows lifted. "Ahh. Well, long as I'm not pushin' ya into eternal damnation."

"I'm gonna come visit you again. I'm…not sure when but it's in the plans." Buffy related idly.

"Sounds good." Faith said softly. "But don't rearrange ya plans on my account. I'm survivin'. All I can do really."

"I'm coming because I want to see you, not because I wanna check up on you." The blonde revealed. "That's a bonus."

Chuckling, the convict clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth. "Aight, B. I'll be lookin' for ya. But I'll understand if you don't show…"

Buffy frowned a little, wondering why Faith was trying to slightly steer her in another direction? It was probably fear…the fear of the unknown setting in and becoming real. She also realized that this was her chance to back out. To reconsider everything she'd been thinking or feeling, and still remain on good terms with the other Slayer. Call foul or do over…or whatever people called when they wanted to change things.

This was her chance. Her way out stamped and approved by Faith herself.

Inhaling, she fiddled with the cross around her neck. "I get it. But I'll show."


	17. Out In The Open

Chapter Seventeen: Out In The Open

Within in the next two weeks, Buffy managed to visit Faith four times. More would have been amazing but things just hadn't lined up that way for her. She was already performing a tango of secrets where her friends were concerned, and she was sure they were growing suspicious. They probably thought she and Angel were together again because visiting him was the cover she'd used. Only Giles knew the truth and he was keeping his word by not telling.

Standing in front of her vanity, she modeled the new outfit she'd brought the day before. It was a very pretty blue dress with a strap that looped around the neck and ruffles at the bottom. She'd gotten it on sale and that made her very proud considering the fact that money was getting sort of tight. She was thinking about getting a job but the only skills she had dealt with stabbing stuff, and people tended to frown on that. So she now was managing the money her mother had left and thinking about a yard sale. She had a ton of crap she didn't want anymore.

Fluffing out her thick hair, she grinned and wiggled her toes into the carpet. What shoes? Wasn't that always the toughest part?

"Buffy?" Dawn appeared in her open doorway. "Ooh pretty dress. Can I borrow it?"

"Sure. When the Earth rotates backwards." She smirked. "And when you learn to not spill things."

"I can't believe you're never gonna let that go." Her little sister sighed. "One it was a shirt you couldn't even fit anymore, and two since I just showed up like a year ago, that never really happened."

"Maybe, but I don't wanna take any chances with this." The blonde picked lent off the bottom.

Dawn folded her arms over her chest. "Everyone knows why you spend so much time on your appearance before you go to L.A. It's so you can look sexy for Angel."

Buffy blinked. "What do you know about looking sexy? And it's not for Angel."

The former Key snickered. "I'm not a child. I'm a teenager now. Besides…" She trailed off for a moment. "If it's not for him then who else would it be? Unless you have a secret boyfriend we don't know about."

"No."

"So it's for him?"

" _No_."

"Th—then why have you been going to Los Angeles so much? It's like; when you aren't there you're thinking about being there. We haven't really hung out since you got back."

The Slayer opened her mouth to reply, and then promptly closed it. Her sister was right and that totally sucked. But it was just so easy to get caught up in wanting to see Faith. Even more so because when she did see her it was behind thick bulletproof glass with other people listening to their conversation. She was to the point where she wanted to give her a hug good-bye instead of just letting her hand hover at the black words. And when she wasn't in L.A. she was thinking about the next stupid good-bye that they would be forced to have.

Man, she really wanted to reach out and touch Faith.

Sighing, she took her little sister's hand and pulled her over to her bed so that they could sit down. "Dawn, I'm sorry. I—I know I've been aloof lately but I actually have a good reason."

"Does this have anything to do with Alter Sunnydale? Do you miss it?" Dawn inquired slowly. "Being an only child…"

"No! Of course not." She tucked light brown strands of hair behind her ear. "I—it's complicated."

The other girl rolled her big azure colored eyes. "I was nearly sacrificed so that a hell God could return home. I think I'm old enough to know about adult situations. If you're back with Angel it's okay. No one is gonna be mad at you."

_Ugh_. Frowning slightly, she rubbed the back of her neck. Since the moment the monks had given her a sister, she'd tried her best to protect her from the evil of the world. She'd expected to feel differently after learning the truth and she had, but in the opposite way she'd been thinking. Instead of being a bit resentful at having a sister  _forced_  on her, she'd felt honored at being trusted with such a delicate present. And when she thought about how lonely she'd be now with her mother gone…everything sorta made more sense.

Dawn was feeling miserable over knowing she hadn't been in Alter Sunnydale, and her avoiding everyone in favor of visiting Faith wasn't helping matters. Perhaps it was time for a show of faith…no pun intended.

"I—okay I wanna tell you something but I am not sure how you will react." Buffy began. "It's a secret. A big one."

"I can keep it!" The younger Summers replied quickly. "I promise I won't tell anyone."

The blonde wet her lips.  _Here goes nothing_. "Alright. I—I have been going to L.A. a lot and I know you think it's to see Angel but it's not." Long lengthy pause. "It's…to see Faith."

"Oh." Dawn blinked. "Is she sick or something?"

Buffy shook her head from side to side. "No. It's a long story but I can give you the cliff notes version and say that while in Alter Sunnydale I did a lot of reflecting, and I've decided to forgive her for everything that she did."

The young girl scrunched up her face in thought. "Even after all of the stuff she put you through? She tried to kill you. She joined the baddies and totally screwed up everything. Not to mention she once terrorized me when I was in the pet store with friends."

"Technically that never happened." Buffy pointed out. "Look I know she was psycho back then and did some really bad things, but I can't hold a grudge forever. I mean I could but I don't want too. And she's  _so_  different now. She's all repenty an—and thought processy. She apologized and everything. All without punching me."

"Hm…well she sounds better. And I guess forgiving her is the right thing to do." The former Key smiled. "I think it's nice of you Buffy. But…why have you been hiding it from us?"

"Because—because I'm freaked out about how everyone will react." She said honestly. "No one was happy to see Angel when he showed up again, and I understand that cause he did horrible things. But even though what Faith did wasn't  _that_  bad, I don't see them throwing her a  _welcome back into my life_  party."

Dawn chuckled, psyched that her sister was actually confiding in her. "That's true. I think you should sit them down like you did me and explain. Besides this time around you aren't hiding Faith from everyone. You're even kinda trying to protect their feelings. I'm sure everything will be okay."

_I'm not_. "Actually there—I may have left out one teensy little detail that could break the camel's back."

"There's a camel?"

"It's a figure of speech, Dawnie."

"But why would someone just randomly pick a camel? I heard they're pretty strong."

"You are so weird. Anyway focus, please."

"Okay okay. What else could you possibly have to tell?"

Buffy bit down hard on her lower lip. "Sometimes you can look at someone every day and suddenly one day you just see them differently. And…it doesn't make sense but you begin to think, maybe it's not supposed to make sense. Maybe it's just supposed to…exist." Inhaling deeply, she continued. "Alter Sunnydale had an Alter Faith and she was so normal that it made me start to question the Faith I knew. After taking a good look at my past relationship with her, it was like I'd woken up to a new day."

For a moment Dawn seemed confused, and then suddenly the wires in her brain connected. "Oh my God. Yo—you  _like_  Faith? Like, do you like me check yes or no?"

"I told you it was complicated." Her sister refused to make eye contact. "And don't ask me to explain it because I'm just starting to put the pieces together myself. I just know that I wanna be around her. I like being around her."

"Oooh. Okay." A beat. "Well—I—okay. I don't understand any of this. I mean I know what she did even though I wasn't there. It feels like I was there. I remember how upset you'd be and how much she hurt you. I guess I don't get how you can go from that to wanting to get kissie face with her. But then I didn't understand how you could take Angel back after the whole no soul thing. I figured it was a stupid teenager thing."

Buffy laughed lightly. "Are you upset? It's okay if you are…"

Dawn shrugged. "No I'm not. I've never said it and I'll probably never say it again but I trust your judgment Buffy. If Faith were still crazy, you wouldn't be tryin' so hard to convince me otherwise. People change—I mean look at Spike. He has a chip but it doesn't make him fight with us. He does that on his own." She tilted her head to the side slowly next. "But I do have one question. Are you gay now?"

The Slayer blinked, completely caught off guard. She'd never even addressed that to herself. "I—I dunno. Before Faith I would have never considered being with a girl. The thought would have never crossed my mind."

"If you are, it's okay."

"Thank you. That—it means a lot to me that you would say that."

They shared a long hug, and then Dawn pulled back. "I think you should tell the others though, especially Willow and Xander. They're your best friends. I'll help you if you want."

"Maybe it is time I came clean." Buffy replied nodding. "Hey, when did you stop being so annoyin' and all…kinda smart?"

Giggling, Dawn tossed her hair behind her. "I'm a woman now. Get used to it."

~*~ 

Strolling into the Magic Box in a red blouse and dark denim jeans with her sister behind her, Buffy felt like she might start gagging. She was beyond nervous when it came to letting the cat out of the bag. Poor kitty, it was probably thoroughly traumatized by now. However it had been easier than she'd expected telling Giles and even Dawn, perhaps it would be the same way with everyone else.

All she had to do was open her mouth and let the words flow out. Or stutter out phrases and hope for the best.

Standing in the middle of the floor, she tried to find a good place for her hands. They moved from the back pockets to the front, and then entwined together so that she could play with her knuckles. Anya was behind the counter doing inventory, frowning whenever Giles would look over her shoulder to make sure she got everything right. Willow and Tara were sitting at the round table, whispering and giggling to one another. Dawn had moved to perch on the bottom of the iron staircase while Xander played with a feather duster.

_You'll feel better once everything is out in the open. In theory. You could feel worse. Wait, I'm supposed to be on your side aren't I_? Tapping her temples, she grunted. "Uh—uh—so I was thinking about trying to get up to L.A. again soon."

"That's cool, Buffy." Willow smiled.

"Yeah well…I've heard that you guys think Angel and I are snuggle bunnies now. We aren't." She retorted. "He is just my friend—sometimes he isn't even that."

"So why do see him so much?" Xander questioned, his voice slightly irate.

"It—he isn't who I've been seeing." She cringed. "I've been…visiting Faith."

Willow's smile slowly faded. "Why? Is she dying or something?"

"No." Buffy wet her lips. "She's fine. Better than fine—totally of the non crazy variety now."

The red head looked perplexed. "If there is nothing wrong with her, why would you bother going to see her? I—I mean what's the…point?"

For the first time, Buffy related the entire story of Alter Sunnydale and Alter Faith. She explained how ordinary Alter Faith was and how a different drop of the hat made all the variation in someone's life. She told about her spirit guide in her pretty Cordelia Halloween costume and the things she'd shown her. Things that had warped her brain and made her see details she'd never considered before. And yes it was wiggy and maybe out of charactery for her, but she couldn't just deny all of that new information either. There'd been no choice but to do something with it.

Hence visiting Faith in jail.

When she was done talking, a tense silence hung in the air. Dawn offered up a comforting grin and Giles put down the book he'd been flipping through, simply waiting.

Xander exchanged glances with his best friend, and then frowned. "Did you not learn anything from the Angel mess?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Buffy asked, frowning as well.

"Remember when Angel went crazy cause you didn't listen to reason when it came to dating a vampire? Okay, maybe that was a foul. You didn't know he'd turn into a rabid dog after humping his first leg in a hundred years. But Faith?" He snorted as if the very notion was illogical. "There was no spell gone wrong when she went evil. She did that of her own free will. And are we forgetting that she murdered two people in cold blood  _and_  tried to choke me?"

"No. No one is forgetting. After all that is why she went to jail." The blonde replied. "But she's serving her time. Sh—she's trying to make amends for what she did."

"Just because Faith in that other dimension wasn't torchin' houses and slappin' orphans doesn't mean the one here will be any different." He sighed. "Before jumping into that portal you could have cared less about what happened to her."

The blonde ran both hands through her hair. "I—I never—that was the past. I couldn't get over what she'd done to me, but then I started to remember what I'd done to her. What we all did to her."

Xander was stoic. "Not like she didn't deserve it."

"Well now she deserves forgiveness." Buffy said quietly.

"Funny how she deserves to be forgiven now that you wanna get pelvic with her. Do you even care what she did?"

"Of course I care! She toyed with my life—everything was just a game to her."

"Then how can you stand here and say you wanna  _be_  with her?"

"Things change. People change. And what good would it do to spend the rest of my life hating her? I doubt either of us could hate her as much as she hates herself."

Willow chewed on her thumbnail. "This is all just a bit strange coming from you, Buffy. Bu—but we aren't judging you. I—I feel that perhaps you're just confused about everything. That you're projecting your friendship for Alter Faith onto this one."

The Slayer groaned inwardly. She had not been expecting a battle. "That's not what I'm doing. I know this is odd, but it's true."

"But it can't be. You don't like girls."

"I like Faith."

"You don't just wake up liking the same sex."

"But you can meet someone who maybe flicks that switch inside of you. Like Tara did for you."

The red head nodded. "True but I didn't have a horrible history with Tara. She didn't strangle Xander or hold a knife to your throat."

Buffy rubbed her forehead. "She was in a dark place then. Look, I've talk to her several times and she is totally sincere about her guilt an—and her remorse. She—she knows that what she did was wrong but she's trying to make up for it. She doesn't have to be in jail…she keeps herself there because it's the right thing to do."

Xander threw his hands up in the air. "Are there crazy pills going around that I don't know about? Giles, don't you think this is just stupid?"

The Watcher cleared his throat. "Actually I think Buffy is doing the right thing. It is very hard to forgive someone who has done serious damage to you or someone you love. I think she is showing great compassion and courage at doing so." Pause. "I fully believe in peoples' capacity to change. From what Buffy has told me, Faith is attempting to better herself and in some cases it can be done."

The dark haired man growled. "Alright. What about the liking her stuff?"

"I find it pertinent to stay out of Buffy's love life." He smiled softly.

He turned to Dawn. "What about you Dawnie? Don't cha think your sister has a few screws loose?"

The young teen shook her head. "Not really. I know Buffy walks to the beat of her own drum, but I don't see anything wrong with forgiving Faith. I don't know what I think about the other stuff though. Not yet anyway."

Xander's mouth gaped for a moment. "You're all nuts. You're a candy bar that is chocked full of nutty goodness."

Anya spoke up. "I don't see what the big deal is. Everyone has done things, bad things at one point."

"I haven't…" Willow whispered. Then she remembered her cheating with Xander while dating Oz. "We—well not recently."

The former demon continued. "For years and years I was a vengeance demon reeking havoc on evil men. Boiling them alive and giving them syphilis. Yet you're still with me Xander. At one point I even brought forth a vampire Willow and almost got you all killed. Yet we still have tons of wonderful sex and go out to dinner. And let's not forget the troll incident or Tara making everyone blind. Oh and Spike, who wanted you dead like all the time."

"Thank you, Anya." Her boyfriend replied tersely. "I can't handle this right now. I'll see you guys later…" Turning, he stalked from the shop, ignoring the people who called him back.

Buffy sighed deeply. It was always weird when Xander got angry and blew up because that wasn't usually the case. And to be honest she hadn't expected this sort of reaction from him.

"Willow?" The blonde questioned. "You understood the Angel stuff. You get this too, don't cha?"

"I understand the need to forgive her. Forgiveness is…good. It—it's just the other  _stuff_  that isn't making much sense to me." She said. "It would be like if you and Spike got together."

_God no_! "Will…it—it's not something I can really explain. In my head it all fits but by the time it reaches my mouth it sounds like frogs trying to yodel or something. I know that Faith isn't your favorite person for  _so_  many reasons, an—and she wasn't mine either until—until I saw her."

"I—I think we'll just need…time. To…take it all in."

Nodding slowly, Buffy made her way into the back room where she did most of her training. She moved over to the small bench and sat down, running her fingers through her hair. Even though she had prepared herself for the chance that her friends reacted badly, in the back of her mind she'd still thought they would freak out but then be all for it. Now she wasn't so sure.

She just hoped it didn't come down to choosing between Faith and her friends. That was a decision she wasn't ready to make yet.


	18. Hypothetically

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have taken a bit of creative license when it comes to the NCWF and their prison system policies after research didn't fit my plot. :)

Chapter Eighteen: Hypothetically

Faith sat on the old picnic table in the yard with a cigarette between her fingers and smoke flowing from her nostrils. She watched the other inmates and how they interacted, playing b-ball or poker for more smokes. She didn't really like to get involved in that kinda shit, especially the sports because it always turned into a pissing contest. But that was like normal for her—someone always tryin' to show her up.

Hell three days after being locked up and she had one of the gang leaders on her case. Pushin' her around and tryin' to start shit. Finally she had to knock the bitch and her people out for them to leave her alone. It took her right to the top of the food chain. She could be rulin' the joint if she wanted, but she didn't care about that kinda shit. She just wanted to serve her time and save her soul…if that were still possible.

Of course not fightin' made people wanna fight her more. Some bitches were never satisfied.

Taking another drag of her ciggy, she sighed and smirked as Maria gave her evil eyes from near the fence. There was a stark white bandage across her nose with bruising that made it look like she had huge bags under her eyes. Served the whore right for talking smack about B.

_Buffy_.

It was weird suddenly getting this thing that cha never thought you'd get. Suddenly havin' this little blonde chick wanna be with you and spend time with you. How did one make that make sense in their head? Honestly, she kinda felt like she didn't deserve someone like Buffy. Sure she wasn't perfect by a long shot, but she always tried to do the right thing. Also she hadn't killed anyone which most saw as a huge plus.

And then here she was, resident fuck up of the highest degree. Once totally suicidal and completely mad, rotting behind iron bars and tryin' to push out sorry after sorry every day. Yeah…she was  _sorry_  aight. But it wasn't just the bad shit that made her wonder why someone like Buffy would wanna give her another chance. She wasn't exactly an educated scholar even with the criminal past aside. More like a high school drop out gunning for her GED.

She'd never had one successful relationship in her entire life. She was kinda scared that she didn't know how to love another human being. The Mayor—yeah she'd loved him but it had been twisted as hell. Not a road she wanted to go down again, especially not with B. They didn't need any more crap…they were already drownin' in it if you were keepin' track.

She wanted B. Man did she want B. But she couldn't in good judgment just jump in with her legs behind her head. Not the new Faith. The old Faith would have shagged her rotten on the visiting room floor, but the new Faith was practicin' restraint and all that.

The new Faith couldn't help but wonder if Buffy was makin' a mistake by wanting to be with her. The new Faith thought that she needed a good guy, someone who had never hurt her or someone who could fight beside her. Someone who didn't bring up so many bad memories.

Times like this had her wishing bad Faith would tell her to shut the fuck up and just do her already.

"You look mighty happy." Shirley replied as she walked up. "Thinkin' funny thoughts?"

Faith blinked and realized she'd been smiling. "Somethin' like that. What's the word?"

"Nothing. Everyone just chilling." The other woman said.

"Sounds good."

"So. Ya girl comin' by today?"

"Dunno. I'm on the fence whether I want her to or not."

"Dude you gotta stop stressing shit. You've got someone who cares about you. Some people should be so lucky."

"Even if carin' about me means she ends up worse off than she is now?"

"If you're so concerned for her well being, why not tell her to piss off? Stop visiting and never talk to you again."

The brunette looked to her friend, and then snorted. The answer was obvious. "Cause yo, I'm selfish." Pause. "I've spent my whole life whinin' about what I never got. Mommy's love, dad's attention, a dog. Back in the day I wanted B like hardcore, and now she's on board. Don't think I'm not bein' all dwelly on the bad shit because I am. I've hinted at it but either she's not listenin' or I need to drop bigger hints."

Shirley chuckled, folding her arms over her chest. "That's the funny thing about people. You can try to steer 'em in the right direction but you can't make 'em drive in it. Your girl is either gonna navigate well or crash and burn. Still it's her decision."

"Eh…" Faith groaned, then smirked. "Well at least she's got a great set of air bags."

~*~

"You're Buffy right?"

The pretty blonde looked over with big green eyes, nodding slowly. She smoothed down her cute blue dress and folded her arms over her chest, trying to look non-suspect. She hadn't done anything wrong, had just walked through the door and been searched but there was something about a tall man in uniform that un-nerved her. Made her think thoughts about heading for the border in a beat up Chevy with a new identity where she called herself Carmen.

There was a slight chance she became irrational at odd moments.

"Um yes. Why?" She inquired. "Is something wrong?"

"No. Follow me please." He requested, turning to walk away.

She followed the black guard named Eddie down the dim corridor, wondering if perhaps her irrational thoughts were in fact rational after all. It seemed weird for him to be taking her deeper into the prison and through what looked like some type of weird tunnel system. Sure she could steal his baton and beat the crap out of him, but the law tended to frown upon that. Especially when it was one of theirs.

"Um…where are you taking me?" She asked, glancing around at the chipping brown paint.

Eddie glanced back at her and chuckled. "Don't worry this is totally on the up and up. I'm just repayin' a debt."

"Repaying a debt?" She repeated. "Whose debt? My debt? You don't owe me any debt."

He nodded and opened a door, heading into what looked like a yard area surrounded by a high wall with barbwire at the top. "That's true. But we had some trouble a few days ago. A couple of inmates rioted and I nearly got my ass handed to me by a four hundred pound weight lifter named Patricia." He snorted. "Lehane had my back and I told her I owed her one. I figured I could make good on my promise since she's been the model inmate for a long while now. I could get fired but the other guards dig her so ya know…"

Buffy arched a brow, slightly confused until she noticed the two small silver trailers that sat a few feet apart. Up along the wall were men and women with high-powered rifles, patrolling to make sure that no one tried to escape. "I don't get it…"

Snickering, he pointed to the first trailer. "Just go to number one and wait." And then he was heading back inside the main building.

Sighing, she shrugged and strolled over to the domicile, pulling on the handle and slipping inside. It was much cleaner than she'd expected. To be honest it was what one would call squeaky clean minus the squeak. The small windows had nice thick curtains to hide the unsightly bars. The only chair smelled like freshly washed clothes, and the medium sized bed was expertly made with…

Her observation trailed off in mid point and she blinked. A bed. There was a bed with sheets and pillows. Why was there a bed with sheets and pillows? Inching closer, she stared at it, her eyes dragging across to the small table and the contents on top.

Condoms.

_Oh. My. God._

"This is—this is one of  _those_!" She gasped aloud. "Gah, what the hell is it called? A congenial visit? A camaraderie visit?"

"I think the word you're lookin' for is  _conjugal_." Said the amused voice behind her.

Buffy wheeled around so fast that she nearly lost her balance, which was unusual for her. She used the wall to steady herself and chuckled, praying that her cheeks weren't solid red. "Faith. I…didn't hear you come in."

"Obviously." The brunette smirked, shoving her hands into the pockets of her blue pants. "S'up, B? You look smokin' hot."

The blonde smiled and gave herself a moment to look the other female over. It was so nice to see her unrestricted, without some stupid glass hindering everything. To notice the shine of her springy curls and the sparkle of her big brown eyes. To see those cute ass dimples in full force, and how smooth her skin was. To be able to be sure that she was totally all right.

"Um I—so I'm guessing this isn't a normal thing…" She tilted her head to the side. "These visits."

Faith shrugged, moving over to the bed and sitting down. "Not for me. It's a gig for the married people but Eddie owes me one."

"So he said. You won't get in trouble, will you?"

"Dunno. But I'm pretty sure it'll be worth it."

Snorting, she talked her legs into moving and eased over to sit down beside the other Slayer. "I don't know what Eddie thought we'd be doing, but we  _won't_  be doing it. Not that I don't wanna do it because I do—okay pretend I didn't say that."

Faith laughed lightly. "Too late. It's out there." She winked. "Nah he's just bein' a good guy is all. Most of the guards know I could kick their ass three ways to Sunday, but I don't. Guess they like it that I chill and watch out for 'em."

Buffy grinned, putting her hands in her lap. "Are you really getting along in here? I—I mean honestly?"

"Honestly? It was tough in the beginnin' but I'm used to the bullshit now, ya know?"

"Like what?"

"Chicks wantin' to prove they're the best. Stupid high school shit sometimes. There was this one guard who got a little too grabby if ya know what I mean. It was back when I was still…processin' my choice to serve my time; I broke his leg in three places."

"Wow…but it totally sounded like he deserved it. No one likes strange man hands on them."

The brunette nodded with a smile that lit up her entire face. "Anyway, glad you're here. How are things in the Dale?"

A sigh. "Well I told everyone about—about us. And to be honest I was surprised with how they reacted. You'd think I told them that I steal candy from babies and love communism."

The convict arched a brow. "Didn't go over well with Fred and Daphne huh? Figures."

Buffy pouted and took the chance of inching a bit closer. It was either that or fall off the bed, and she was sure she'd embarrass herself enough later without adding that into the mix. "Xander was impossible. I—I can't believe he blew up the way he did. Willow…well she said she needed time to think, and she also said that I can't like you because I don't like girls."

"Valid point." Faith mused, leaning back on her elbows and making her tank top ride up over her flat stomach. "When did you become a muff—"

"Finish that sentence and I will punch you!" The blonde exclaimed teasingly. "I haven't really  _thought_  about that part of it. I have but…I don't know. It's not apart of the big picture."

"How do ya figure?" She asked. "Is it cause I'm locked up and ya know the chances of us ever gettin' down are slim to nil?"

"No. I just haven't processed  _am I gay_  yet." Buffy said honestly. "Between understanding how I feel about you and being in Alter Sunnydale, I haven't had time to think serious thoughts. But isn't that how it usually is? When you like someone you don't get mush brain trying to decide  _why_  you like him or her. You just enjoy the feeling."

The brunette sat up, itching at her tattoo. "That sounds okay. But if ya think about me naked, you're at least a little gay."

Giggling, the older Slayer glanced away. Who wouldn't picture her naked? It should be a crime to  _not_  picture her naked. "Can I plead the fifth?"

Faith smirked and stood, stretching out her limbs. "Sure. But you should know just cause I'm in jail doesn't mean I understand the law."

"Yeah. I bet you say that to all the girls."

"Just the ones I got a thing for."

_Hehehe_. "You know, I could maybe understand Xander's view since you did try to choke him. But Willow…I was totally blindsided. I—I mean I had a mini freak out when she said that she was dating a girl but I got over it. It's not so different."

"Well…" The brunette began slowly. "You've had more boy toys than she has…so it's kinda different. And I held a knife to her throat so I get why she's not keen on you and me. Or maybe she wants you for herself."

"What? Willow? No way she's like, my best friend."

"Right. And they never fall for each other."

"No, you're way off base. She loves Tara and they are so happy together."

"I dig. Still there might be a little part of her that's jealous I got you and she doesn't."

Buffy scowled. She didn't want those thoughts swimming in her head later when she saw the witch. "Let's just change the subject."

Faith's brows arched but she nodded and returned to the bed, throwing herself onto it so that her head rested to the pillows. "Ya know we don't have like hours in here…" Picking up a condom, she ripped open the packet and proceeded to play with it.

The blonde turned so that she faced her. "Oh? I—well what else do you wanna talk about?"

"C'mon B. You know talkin' ain't what I had in mind." The convict smirked, licking her lips. "Who knows when we're gonna get another chance to be alone?"

That was true. "Yes bu—but just jumping into bed together won't solve anything."

"It'll solve my major horniness that your dressed has caused." She replied. "Don't tell me you're scared…"

"No!" Did that come out too quickly? "I just don't want our first time together to be in a prison sex trailer. Not to mention we—we haven't dated. There has been no dating. No romance. You've not woo'd me."

Faith laughed, stretching the condom as wide as she could. "Kinda hard to send flowers when ya only make like seven cents an hour. Hard to date when ya got a curfew."

Ugh! Buffy kicked off her strappy sandals and crawled up beside the brunette, lying down with her legs crossed at the ankles. Seeing Faith behind the glass over and over again did have a tendency to make her mind wander to other things. She found herself aching for the chance to touch her hand just to feel the warmth of her skin. So many nights she'd lain in bed wondering what it would be like to kiss her or do more, but faced with the actual temptation was like trying to eat hot fries before they cooled.

She wanted a taste, but was scared that she'd get burned.

So the question appeared to be, just how hungry  _was_  she?

Slowly she gazed at Faith, bringing a hand up to push strands of hair off her soft cheek.  _She's just so gorgeous_.  _I'm even digging the bad girl thing a little_. "Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?"

The convict averted her gaze, obviously uncomfortable with sweet sentiments. "Does 'you've got a tight little ass' count?"

"You are you know. I've always thought you were very pretty. Bright eyes, smooth skin, full lips…" She whispered and smoothed her thumb along her bottom lip. "I wish I'd told you before things went south."

The brunette shrugged. "Roll of the dice. But then I've never had a problem with thinkin' I was hot. It's the other shit that weighed me down."

The blonde smiled a little. "I really wanna kiss you right now."

Faith grinned. "Go for it."

"Are you sure?"

"Dude, you can do whatever you want to me. Except stab me. You don't have to ask."

"Yeah, I think I do though."

"And why is that?"

"Because…I respect you and I want you to know that I do. This isn't just about you know… _that_  thing."

Lifting up to mimic Buffy's position, Faith hid her emotions well as she leaned forward and closed the small amount of space between them. Buffy expected the kiss to be raging hot and over powering, but it was quite the opposite really. It was gentle and sweet; a brush of soft lips that actually made her shiver and release a tiny little sound. She immediately reached up and cupped the brunette's face, holding her so that she couldn't pull away. Not that she figured she would.

Buffy flicked out her tongue and Faith parted her lips with a little smirk. Their tongues met and danced along each other, slowly at first before growing more anxious. More passionate. And all the fears that Buffy had about not liking the physical stuff evaporated like smoke. She shifted and found herself on top of the other girl, loving how incredible her body felt against her own and how she tasted so sweet.

Faith's hands slid down along her back to her butt where she squeezed. She skimmed her nails along the delicate material of her dress and then underneath, feeling her smooth skin. Her fingers inched up over her behind and then she groaned, making the blonde laugh.

"Find something interesting?" Buffy inquired, lifting her head.

"A thong? Really?" She pretended to be outraged. "You could have saved us both the trouble, B, and just flashed it."

"I don't like panty lines…"

"Great. I don't like panties. Looks like we're meant to be."

Buffy laughed and moved to the side, sitting up. She licked her lips and fanned herself a little, grinning. In fact she couldn't stop grinning. Perhaps kissing Faith should come with a warning; _may cause uncontrollable and stupid shit eating grin_. "That was really nice."

Faith nodded, highly amused. "Yup. Ya know what would be even nicer? Doin' it again but losin' all the clothes."

The blonde went to reply when a gruff voice sounded outside, as well as a knock on the door. "Yo! Time's up ladies. Finish up whatever you're doing in there…"

The convict grunted. "Of course." Sighing, she crawled off the bed. "See ya round, B."

"No good-bye kiss?" Buffy asked sadly.

Smiling, Faith gripped her chin and gave her a firm peck. "Oh by the way, diggin' the cross. Thought I'd lost it. See ya soon I guess…"

As she headed to the door, the older Slayer pouted. "Count on it."

~*~

"You can't ignore me forever Xander!" Buffy shouted after him as he stalked out of the Magic Box. "God he's bein' such a girl."

Tara chuckled and put her hands in her lap. "He—he's just confused."

Buffy nodded, slouching in her chair. "But leaving the room when I come in? That's like jilted lover kinda stuff." Pause. "Where's Willow?"

"Oh sh—she should be here soon." The witch replied lightly. "Um Buffy, for wh—what it's worth? I—well I'm glad you're happy. I don't know Faith—she was kinda mean when I met her—but I think people can change."

"Thank you." She grinned. "I'm sure if she were here she'd totally apologize for anything she said or did while in my body. She'd probably apologize for  _everything_." Rubbing her forehead, she went with the urge to confess. "I understand why they are upset, but I—I just wish they could see her now. How different she is. I wish they'd try to see things from my…side."

"Oh well they will probably come around." Tara related. "It—it takes time for people to deal with huge changes. And maybe they feel li—like they're losing you. To her."

Buffy pressed her lips together. "If only—if only they saw with their own eyes how stable she is now." Chewing on the inside of her cheek, she cleared her throat. "Would it be wrong to wanna get her out of jail?"

"Um I—I well…" Stammering, the other girl glanced around. "Probably. Does she wanna get outta jail?"

"I don't know." She shrugged. "We don't…talk about that kinda stuff. Hypothetically…if she did…could it be done?"

The witch stared at her for a moment, then nodded very slowly. "Hypothetically? I—I'm sure it could be."

Too bad hypothetically didn't automatically make it right.


	19. Time To Take Action

Chapter Nineteen: Time To Take Action

She didn't usually hum while on patrol, but she couldn't help herself. She couldn't stop thinking about yesterday and kissing Faith. She'd  _kissed_  Faith! In the past that sentence would have made her choke by default, but now it seemed so right. She expected to be way more nervous than she had been, and apart of her even feared that she would hate it. But that hadn't been the case, thankfully. Quite the opposite actually…especially after everything she learned and went through while in Alter Sunnydale.

Kissing Faith felt like coming home.

Giggling, Buffy twirled her stake and walked through the tall headstones. She was so happy she could skip, but that would probably make her look less menacing to the evil undead. Though being tiny and blonde she already looked that way so it was really a toss up. Not that it mattered—things were slow. She'd only dusted two vampires and they had been young, not even sure what a Slayer was.

Mr. Pointy helped them discover it though.

Now she was just aimlessly walking and drowning in her own thoughts. It was nice to be alone and able to think. To drift into a daydream with a goofy smile on her face and not hear Xander scoffing from a mile away. She was still hoping that he would come around however, and bring Willow with him. While the red head wasn't as curt as he was, she nonetheless didn't understand what she'd called a  _sudden attraction_  to Faith. And yeah maybe it did seem all suddeny and what not, but only when you didn't think about it. Of course Willow had been all kinds of straight back in the early Faith days, so maybe it was just hard for her to remember stuff.

Secret looks kinda stuff.

At least Dawn was on board, which kinda surprised her to be honest. She suspected she was just being the good sister, or maybe she honestly understood how she felt. How things could just happen. Either way her support was nice when others you usually counted on just couldn't be there for you yet.

Oh and there was Tara, who unbeknownst to everyone else was looking into ways to  _maybe_  get Faith out of prison.

Yes Buffy realized that she was being selfish with the wanting to have her out for reasons that didn't deal with the end of the world, but she couldn't help herself. She needed Faith close so that they could explore…each other. And not just in totally hot sex ways.

Sex with Faith. If it came with a muffin she'd be set for life.

Curving around a stone mausoleum, she jerked when a figure jumped out in front of her. She raised her stake but then sighed when she noticed who it was. "Spike. Are you tryin' to get yourself dusted?"

He grinned and took a drag of his cigarette. "Thought I'd help ya patrol."

"Thanks but no thanks." She replied lightly. "No go on the vamps tonight."

She began to walk off, and he joined in step with her. "So…noticed you and ya mates actin' pretty frosty to each other. Is what nibblet said true? You havin' the hots for that other Slayer?"

_Thanks for telling my business, Dawn_. "Not that it is any of your business, but yes."

He arched a brow. "Yeah. I met her when she was wearin' ya body. Said she'd ride me til I popped like warm champagne…" Another drag. "Course I thought it was you."

"You should have known better right then." She said frowning. "Because I would  _never_  say that to you."

He shrugged. "Oh I dunno. You do seem to like 'em with a bit of crazy. Ain't that why soldier boy skipped town? He was missin' that bit of monsta that gets you hot…"

"Shut up, Spike." She snapped, rolling her eyes. "Don't you have something else to do besides bother me? Isn't there a dump you should be rummagin' through?"

Smirking, he snuffed his ciggy out with his boot. "Touchy touchy. Okay so you and this  _Faith_ , how did that happen? Pretty sure I heard that you hated her."

"Things change. People change. The end."

"Like me?"

"You haven't changed, Spike. You were chipped…there's a big difference."

"Yeah. But I've been a good boy. Kept my fangs clean. Even helped ya Scoobie pals while you were gone."

"And I thank you for that. Really."

Watching her for a moment, he sucked on his bottom lip. "So why her and not me? If it's down and dirty ya want, I can do that."

Buffy blinked; he  _was not_  saying this to her. "I—do I really have to explain this to you? I—I don't have any feelings for you. Well sometimes you repulse me and I wanna hit you a lot, but beyond that there is nothing."

"We had a moment." He said slowly. "You trusted me to help protect Dawn, and you wouldn't have done it if ya didn't care."

"You're strong so I knew you'd be able to if anything happened to me." She sighed, shaking her head. "I do…somewhere deep, deep down probably care about you, but not in the way you want. At best it's as a distant friend kinda thing. The one where you never see the friend but sometimes wonder how they are doing and hope they aren't dead."

Snorting, he shoved his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket and stepped closer. "I think you should give it a go and then decide. Pretty sure I can wind ya up much better than  _she_ could."

She threw her hands up into the air. "This has nothing to do with sex! I care about Faith. I  _want_  to be with Faith and she wants to be with me. We—we have a connection."

"Just like your  _connection_  with Angel? And where is that now? Face it Buffy, you need ya man cold and hard or—"

Before he could finish his sentence, she punched him in the nose. He jerked and stumbled back with a cry, and she continued walking. If she just staked him she wouldn't have to deal with his crap.

~*~

Communal showers were probably one of the worst things when it came to prison. Not that Faith minded a slew of other chicks seein' her naked, but everyone knew it was where a lot of shit went down. Shirley had told her many horror stories of ladies gettin' beat up, knocked down or taken out while the guard pretended to see otherwise. And of course there were the _other_  things that went on, which had nearly happened to her during her first week inside. Bunch of women tried to get a little somethin' somethin' and found their asses busted up.

People didn't mess with her too readily now though. So she could stand under the warm flow of water and let it soak her through. Let it wash away her sins and make her clean. Usually she'd daze out and just bliss, but her thoughts were stingin' major this time. And yeah, they were all about this little blonde.

Even after the kiss, she couldn't let go of that sinkin' feelin' that B was makin' a big mistake by kickin' it with her. Though she did care a little less about it. Point; she just didn't wanna be too selfish. That's how she ended up in the joint in the first place. But if Buffy wanted to be hers…nothin' was gonna stop her. It never did. So she was gonna try to stop stressin'  _that_  and focus on other shit. Like her total lack of bein' able to show her true emotions to anyone other than Angel.

Ugh, the thought of openin' up made her blood run cold. She wanted to but bein' that vulnerable made her feel naked. Her armor was all that she had now. Her trash talkin' and her five by five attitude. And it had all been hardened in jail; couldn't help it really with the dents these people gave.

She had a lifetime of hidin' her real feelings…how was she supposed to just drop it? She knew Buffy would want share time, or at least a small show of affection that wasn't laced with innuendo. Could she do it? Could she lay herself on the line? Could she take the chance of bein' hurt so bad that she'd feel like that lost little girl who only wanted her mama to chase the monsters away?

More importantly, was B really worth it?

Turning her face up to the gushing shower head, she let the water run down over her forehead. Of course she was worth it. She'd always been worth it, even when  _she'd_  been too closed off to admit it.

With her eyes closed, she heard the soft footsteps of two people as they entered the bathroom. They were being as quiet as they could, but Slayer hearing worked wonders. Still it was obvious they were up to no good. Who tip toed into a shower?

Glancing over, she ran her tongue across her bottom lip. They women were tall but slender with dark hair and equally dark eyes, but the first had a wicked scar on her cheek. She recognized them both as chicks that ran with Maria's crew and sighed, not in the mood for any bullshit.

"If ya don't wanna get your faces crushed, you'll leave." She murmured.

"Nothing personal." The first replied, looking over her nude body with appreciation. "But we gotta deliver our message."

The second grinned. "Yeah. You know how it is."

They tried to be quick but Faith was quicker, kicking Scar in the stomach when she lunged and rendering her to her knees. The second inched behind her and tried to attack, but the brunette grabbed her arm and jerked, popping her shoulder out of its socket. She let out of howl and Faith jutted her palm into her chest, sending her flying back into the wall.

Scar dug into her sock and pulled out a homemade shiv, holding it against her wrist. When the Slayer twirled around to kick the other female again when she charged, Scar leapt forward and plunged the sharpened down tooth brush into Faith's side.

Faith gasped but grabbed her hand before she could push it in too deep and twisted, breaking her wrist so badly that one of the bones protruded through the skin. Scar screamed and went down again, holding her mangled arm to her chest and rocking back and forth.

"What the hell is going on in here?!" Bellowed a female guard as she ran in. She looked to the two women on the floor and frowned at the red swirling the drain. "Damn it Lehane what is…" She trailed off as she watched her yank out the shiv. "Jesus Christ. I need a medic in here! Now!"

Tossing the toothbrush away, Faith turned off the water and slowly walked over to where her towel was. She applied pressure to her wound with a washcloth, smoothing a finger over the scar on her abdomen. Her mind flashed back to that night on the roof and she sighed, wrapping her naked body in a towel.

She was gettin' really fucken tired of being stabbed.

Two more guards ran into the room, one being Eddie. He didn't even have to ask what had happened because he knew the deal. He made his way over to her and took her arm gently. "C'mon. Let's get you to the infirmary."

"I'm good. I heal quick." She replied, but he shook his head.

"Gotta get cha checked out anyway. You know the rules."

"Yeah. I know the rules. Though maybe you should tell  _them_  the rules next time."

~*~

Tara wore a pretty beige colored skirt that fanned out when she walked like a jellyfish. Slowly she made her way down the iron stairs from the restricted area in the magic shop, careful not to fall with the books in her arms. She placed them on the round table and yawned, shrugging at her soft white sweater.

The bell over the front door gave a sharp tinkling, signaling that someone was venturing inside. She looked up and smiled, pulling her sleeves down over her hands out of habit. "Hey Buffy."

The Slayer grinned. "Hey." She then waved to Giles and Anya where they stood behind the counter. "What's up?"

"Ju—just um…looking up some spells." She bit her lower lip, her eyes wide. "For um…that thing you mentioned."

"Oh! That thing. Yes I would really like to know more about that thing." Buffy said happily. "How is the thing coming?"

Tara chuckled. "Well there is a spell but it's the after that I am worried about. There will no doubt he repercussions."

"Like what?" The blonde inquired.

The witch lowered her voice. "We—we could get Faith out of jail but then we'd have to de—deal with the law. I'm sure they'll miss her."

"Well—can't we fix it so they won't know she's gone?" She asked. "Or make it look like she was never there in the first place?"

"There was a script to…make it as if someone had never existed, but if—if done wrong Faith could actually cease to exist." Tara sighed. "I'm a good witch but—but really this is the kinda spell that Willow should be doing."

"Do you think she would?"

"Maybe. Whether she should or not remains to be seen…"

"I hope you aren't talking about what I think you're talking about." Giles replied as he adjusted his glasses.

_How did he hear us_? "And…what do you think we're talking about?"

He arched a brow. "I am quite certain that you are referring to Faith and to, extracting her from jail."

"So what if we were?" Buffy questioned with a pout. "We can talk. Nothing wrong with talking."

"I—I really must protest Buffy. Faith went to jail to make up for her crimes. I do not think it would be prudent for you to uh—uh take her out. Especially not without her permission." He replied sternly. "What if she felt her being incarcerated was pertinent to saving her soul? I feel that she should serve her time."

"And what? Rot away in their for years? Ho—how are we gonna be together if we can't  _be…together_?" She scowled deeply. "What if I were to talk to her and she said it was okay? Would you stop being all poo poo leave Faith in prison poo poo?"

He cleared his throat. "That is not how I am." Pause. "I suppose if she consented then… Buffy this is a very sensitive subject. Even if she consents the law clearly states that it would be a bad idea."

"It was bad idea when she was dangerous. She's not dangerous anymore."

"That may be but…they have not said that she's served her time. She would be a fugitive, and if caught her punishment would most likely be even worse than it is now."

"Giles, I need her. I need her with me. Don't ask me why but I do."

His expression softened. "I understand, but perhaps we should focus on the big picture."

"What big picture?" Xander strolled into the shop. "Does something need a killin'?"

Buffy sighed. "No. Well not yet."

He nodded. "So…"

It was probably a bad idea to tell him, but considered how he'd reacted to secrets in the past, it would be worse to keep it from him. "We're talking about Faith. And—and I know she isn't your favorite person but we're talking about her."

"Ah huh. What about her?" He asked, folding his arms over his chest.

"Uh—maybe—sorta—possibly—getting her out of—jail." She said slowly. "If she wants."

He blinked. "Merciful Zeus. No. That's a horrible idea. That idea couldn't be more horrible unless after you got her out of jail, you gave her a bag of crack and a knife."

"Xander!" She exclaimed. "Why can't you just accept that Faith has changed?"

"Um…because I don't know that she has." He waved his arms around. "This could all be a scam that you're fallin' for hook, line and sinker. And now you wanna release her from her cage? You don't let the beast out of its cage."

"She's not a beast!" Buffy shouted, then tried to calm herself. "You know I don't remember making this big a fuss when you told us you were dating a former vengeance demon. Who spent thousands of years torturing men. I accepted it."

"It's totally different."

"It's always different when it's someone else. But you're right. Anya killed who knows how many. Faith killed two. But of course it's different because for some strange reason you don't want me to be happy. Or…maybe you just don't want me to be happy with Faith."

"Fine. I don't like Faith and I sure as hell don't trust her. She's…she's not good enough for you, Buffy."

"She was good enough for you…once upon a time."

"Yeah. And what did she do? She used me and tossed me out like I was nothin'. I don't want that to happen to you."

"I know you're just lookin' out for me, but I trust her. It might not make sense but…I do. And if you just gave her a chance, I think she'd surprise you."

His brows narrowed and she exhaled, jerking when her cell phone crooned out the programmed ring tone. Migrating to the window, she flipped it open and began to talk.

"Maybe I am being a dink." Xander mumbled. "But it's hard because it's Faith." He turned to Giles. "How are you so calm with all this?"

The Watcher chuckled. "More often than not, Buffy's decisions are usually thorough ones. If Faith has managed to convince her that she's reformed, then I trust her judgment."

"I guess." The other man replied. "It just gives me the wiggins. When Faith woke up from her coma it was all batten down the hatches, a crazy hurricane just blew into town. Then Buffy spends a few months in twin world and things are totally forgiven? I'm just worried that whatever happened to her there is a fluke…"

"Taking into account their history together, I do not think she would be so adamant about having a relationship with Faith if she were not certain she was transformed." Giles explained. "We aren't just talking about friendship Xander. Buffy wants a romantic relationship with Faith."

"Nope. Still sounds weird." He looked to his friend. "Hey…" Noticing her expression, he wet his lips. "What's wrong Buff?"

She slowly closed the phone. "That was a guard at the prison. Eddie. Faith was stabbed while in the shower."

"Good lord. Is she alright?" Giles asked concerned.

"Yeah. She's going to be fine… He—he just thought I should know because we seemed so close." She swallowed hard. "We—I can't leave her in that place any longer. What if something even worse happens to her? We have to get her out. We  _have_  to."

"I--I'll talk to Willow." Tara related softly.

"No I'll do it." Buffy said vehemently. "We're gettin' Faith out of jail. Tonight."


	20. Desperate Times Called For

Chapter Twenty: Desperate Times Called For

With everyone gathered in her living room, Buffy paced from the stairs to the small coffee table with one hand at her throat and the other rubbing her stomach. She felt worried and slightly guilty for  _just now_  considering all of the horrible things that could happen to Faith in jail. After the argument with Angel and seeing the brunette confessing at the police station on that fateful day, she'd blocked everything else out of her mind. Too busy living her fabulous life with her nice guy boyfriend and trying to recover from yet another of Faith's messes.

She never contemplated that this girl she hated so much could have been fighting for her life every day. Perhaps it was because Faith was a Slayer and thereby stronger than everyone else. Or maybe it was because she wanted to pretend she'd never existed in the first place. Because that was so much easier than admitting she'd been wrong in the situation as well. Whatever the reasons, she cursed her vanity for allowing her to forget.

Okay. So there was nothing she could do about that. However now was the time to start making up for it.

Glancing around at her friends, she sighed. "Look, I know you guys don't trust Faith. I know you don't like her or—or want her anywhere near you ever again. And that's fair. After what she did to you, I wouldn't blame you. But she's in trouble and she needs our help."

Willow played with the material of her red blouse. "I—I hear ya Buffy, but what do you want us to do about it? Faith is strong…she can take care of herself. She has super strength and she can fight."

"Maybe. But she won't hurt people—not really—not anymore. If ten or more gang up on her, some could get lucky shots in like they did earlier." The blonde explained slowly. "She's a Slayer but she can still die. I'm living proof of that."

"You said the guard said she was okay?" Dawn inquired.

"For now. I'm sure she's made a lot of enemies over the years. She said people like testing her." Buffy smoothed a hand over her ponytail. "All of you know that I was happy to see her locked away. Hell they could have thrown away the key as far as I was concerned. But it's different now.  _She's_  different and—and although I think she should pay for her crimes, I can't just sit around and let her something bad happen to her."

Xander rocked back on his heels from where he stood by the fireplace. He shoved his hands into his pockets and exhaled. "While I'm not Faith's biggest cheerleader, I think Buffy has a point. It wouldn't be right to know she needs help and not help her. We are the good guys after all."

"But breaking her out of jail?" The Witch asked, looking to everyone else in the room.

"It's not like we're gonna bake a cake with a saw in the middle, or dig a tunnel under her cell." Buffy related. "It's a spell and if done right, they won't even miss her."

Willow pressed her lips together in thought. "I dunno. It just seems wrong or something. If she's made it this long I—I'm sure she'll be okay. She's a trooper."

"Or she could be killed." Anya spoke up from the couch. "I've seen those shows on cable called documentaries and they tell some very enlightening stories. One was dealing with prison life and it's all rape and murder and who's the big dog of the yard. Sometimes it's even racially motivated. Other times the prisoners turn against the guards and they have riots. It was very riveting stuff."

Everyone stared at her a moment, and then Giles cleared his throat. "While I agree that Faith could be in danger, we have to take into account that she has been in jail for some time now and managed to survive. Perhaps what happened was just a fluke and will not happen again."

"Or next time it could be worse." Buffy whispered. "Guys, please. I'm not just—just saying this because I want cuddle time with her. At first maybe, but now I just want her safe."

"I don't see what the big deal is." Her little sister replied. "I—I mean if the spell makes it look like she was never in jail, what's the harm in doing it?"

The Slayer smiled; she really hadn't expected Dawn to be so gung ho with the idea of springing Faith but it was nice that she was. Even if it was just for her sake. "Exactly."

"It's not that simple. I—I mean the spell is but there could be consequences." Willow's brows knit together. "Working the mojo could cause even worse mojo to rise up. It could mess with time or—or who knows what might happen."

The blonde snorted before she could stop herself. "Why don't we just go ahead and say what this is really about? You don't wanna do the spell because you don't want Faith to be free. You don't care."

"That's not true. I do care. I care heaps. I'm just trying to consider other…factors."

"What other factors?"

"We—well Faith could go poof into thin air. It—it could rip open one of the dimensions bordering our world. It could change something about where we are now. Pe—people could die…"

"People could die? Faith's life could be at stake too! When Glory stole Tara's mind, you would have stopped at nothing to help her. You  _knew_  it was dangerous to go after Glory, but you did it anyway."

"At the risk of—of making you all grumpy, it was different. I—she stole Tara's mind. The woman I love…"

"Well if Faith dies in prison, I'll never get a chance to know if I can love her or not. God! I can't believe you guys are fighting me on this. It's like the portal crap all over again…"

Giles removed his glasses and cleaned them slowly with a handkerchief. "If the spell that needs to be performed will be a disadvantage for the rest of the world, then we have to consider the bigger picture. Now while I do not want anything to happen to Faith, I can not condone her release at the detriment to others."

Buffy stared at her friends, at the people she loved and she couldn't believe what she was hearing. They'd always been there for her, especially when things went wiggy and now—now they appeared to be strangers. "So—you—you aren't gonna help me?"

Willow lowered her head. "I—I'm sorry, Buffy. May—maybe I can do a nifty protection spell for her."

"You know what, don't bother. I can't…" Trailing off, the blonde grabbed her coat and stormed from the house.

Sighing, the red head pouted and slouched more in her chair. "Do you think we did the right thing? Cause what we just did is makin' me feel really crumby."

Dawn shook her head. "I think you were wrong." She then climbed the stairs to her room.

Xander itched at the back of his head. "Are we being twitchy monkeys? I mean, we didn't stop at anythin' to get Buffy back from Alter Sunnydale, which we thought was some evil hell dimension at the time… And bad stuff could have happened then with the pulling her out of this other world."

"This isn't about a—a grudge against Faith." Willow replied honestly. "It's about what's best for everyone else."

Tara, who had been quiet the entire time, finally voiced her opinion. "Whatever you say, it doesn't matter. Buffy won't se—see reason because she cares about Faith. Apparently more than any of you seem to realize."

"But how? When? Why? I'm starting to wonder if her crush isn't…if it's even real." The red head said. "What if something happened to her in Alter Sunnydale? Wh—what if the magics used that sent her there changed her? Or—or what if that thingie she did—the spirit guide thing—what if it lied to her?"

Her best friend arched a brow, but rubbed his chin. "She has been actin' of the strange."

Giles however wasn't so sure. "Perhaps, but I do not think that is the case."

Willow shrugged. "I think we should find out." When asked what she was going to do, she chewed on her bottom lip. "A spell to see if she came back wrong. And if she did, I'm gonna make her right."

~*~

Walking down the sidewalk and trying to get as far away from her house as possible, Buffy made a fist to keep from punching a mailbox. She stalked along muttering to herself, hoping that she ran across a vampire or a demon or a walking apocalypse because she was pissed off and needed to hit something. It was just insane the way her friends had acted. It reminded her of their reaction to Angel being back. Except then Willow had been on her side.

Could they really hate Faith  _that_  much? Or was it not about her at all?

It just didn't make sense and it felt odd not to have them with her.

Also it wasn't like her cause was for shits and giggles. She just wanted the other Slayer to be in a place where she wouldn't be killed. It that place was Guam she wouldn't give a damn as long as she was okay. But it didn't look like that was going to happen. So now what? Should she try to break her out the old-fashioned way or go to Angel for help? He knew people who did magic; hell Wesley might even be able to whip something out.

Would he though…that was the question.

Sighing, she folded her arms over her chest and listened to the sounds of her shoes on the pavement. Perhaps there was some irrational behavior going on in her brain. Perhaps no one understood where she was coming from, though she couldn't see how. Each of her friends at one point and time had someone they cared about in danger.

Miss. Calendar.

Anya.

Tara.

The list could go on and on. Revenge wasn't something that you should do, but that never stopped the people in her life. And now here she wanted to do the opposite of that yet they were rebuffing her. She was totally buffed and it baffled her.

Footsteps behind her jerked her out of her thoughts and she frowned deeply. "Spike, I'm not in the mood."

"I can see that. You're walkin' like you're on a mission. Somethin' I should know about?" He inquired.

"No."

"No big bad on the horizon?"

"No."

"Went by ya house and the tension was heavy there too. Can a bloke ask what's goin' on or will ya stake me?"

A snarky reply lingered on her tongue, but she didn't release it. "Like you really care…"

He watched her intensely with his big blue eyes. "Of course I care…because it's  _you_."

Meeting his gaze, she shrugged a little. There were times when she could actually talk to him. "Faith was attacked in jail and—and I guess no one cares but me." Pause. "I—I went to the guys and asked them for help gettin' her out, but they refused. Why would they do that?"

"Maybe they think it's what's best for ya." He related. "Seems like somethin' they'd do."

"I think it's more than that." She bit at her bottom lip. "I'm not sure what but—I dunno. Maybe I'm just overreacting and they are the ones who are sane. Maybe I'm being a selfish brat."

The vampire chuckled as he patted himself down for smokes. "Well if ya can't be, who will? You've saved the world many times Buffy; I think you deserve to be selfish for once. Get somethin' you want for a change…"

"You're just sayin' what I want to hear."

"Someone should. Glad it's me."

"I know all the Faith stuff is out of left field but I can't turn off what I feel. What I learned. She—she's had such a screwed up life with people not carin'…or the wrong people carin'. I failed her in the past because—because it's where I was then and I think that's okay. Now it's—it's just not the same."

"This bird is really under ya skin, ain't she?"

The blonde nodded slowly. "She is. I knew it wasn't going to be easy but this is beyond hard. If you were to get a dictionary and look up 'difficult', there'd be a little picture of this situation."

Smirking, he wet his lips. "So you wanna bust her out?" She nodded again and he grinned. "Then let's do it."

She stopped walking and looked at him like he was crazy. "What? I—I mean what? I might be a Slayer but breaking people out of prison isn't apart of the job description. And unless you have some sort of magic intelligence I don't know about…"

He cut her off. "No, but I know a demon who knows a guy."

"That sounds shady. Under an umbrella shady." She mused. "Who is this guy?"

"Knows magic. Deals with the black stuff but he can get cha what you need." He revealed. "If ya got the cash."

Buffy made a face. "I dunno. Isn't that dangerous? Of course it's dangerous—what am I saying? I can't go to someone who does that."

Spike lit up a cigarette. "Why not?"

"Cause it would be wrong." She replied. "Because that is not who I am."

"Well…I suppose you could wait for ya mates to come through." He flicked ashes to the ground. "If they come through."

"Why are you helping me? I'd think you'd want Faith  _under_  the jail…" She asked.

He chuckled. "In a word, but I can also see this means a lot to ya…"

She wasn't stupid of course. She knew that his motives had nothing to do with making things easier on her. He just wanted to be  _the one_ \--the person who she could say helped her when no one else would. The person who swooped in and made it all better. Then, maybe she would feel different about him because of this huge thing he did for her.

Still some random guy who did magic? Every bone in her body was flashing like a big neon sign,  _danger Buffy Summers, danger!_  But she couldn't stop thinking about all the horrible things that could happen to Faith. What if she did die? What was she supposed to do then?

She couldn't save her three years ago, but she could save her now.

"This guy—is he evil?"

"That's a matta of opinion. He doesn't go out skinnin' kittens if that's what you're askin'. He's kinda like…a dealer."

"Dealer?"

"Some people sling drugs. He slings spells."

"Okay I—I'll meet him but if he creeps me out, no go."

"Fair enough."

~*~

After following the vampire down a dark alley she'd never taken before and finding the way become increasingly dirty, Buffy found herself surrounded by crunchy leaves, trash cans and broken crates. She frowned at the smell and hugged her waist, glancing around. "Where are we? Where's this guy?"

Spike grabbed her wrist and stepped forward, and she gasped at the sudden warmth that tickled her skin. For a moment there was total darkness and then she was blinking slowly, fluorescent lights stinging her eyes. She wretched her arm free and took in the small waiting room with its moldy paint and icky pee smell. There were other people around who looked like they hadn't bathed in weeks, twitching and jerking as if they were covered in creepy crawlies.

"What is this place?" She whispered. "It looks like the waiting room from hell."

"Well…" A new voice said. "What do we have here?"

It belonged to a man with stringy brown hair and a scar down the side of his face. He had one normal eye and one weird one, and both were staring at her as if she were a steaming hot plate of chicken. "I smell power…but you're no witch."

She folded her arms over her chest. "No."

"But we come bearin' dead presidents…" Spike spoke up, his head tilted to the side. "My friend here needs a spell."

"Oh I got spells. I got all kinds of spells." The strange man grinned and led them into another room. "Never thought I'd see the day that a Slayer would be paying me a visit. Least not you…anyway."

Buffy bristled. "Well you know my name, what's yours?"

"Rack." He said slowly. "What can I get for you?"

"I need to get someone out of jail, and I need for there to be no trail." She explained.

He clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth. "And your pal turned ya down huh?" Smiling, he moved over to his brown couch and stretched out. "Well I can do it but it's gonna cost ya."

"What about the consequences? I—I heard there were some." She inquired. "Explodey world and all that?"

"Consequences are for amateurs, not people like me."

"How do I know you're not lying to me?"

"If I sold faulty products, I'd lose customers. Besides you're a big girl. You know sometimes  _things_  happen."

"Are we talking apocalypse type things? Because those are a real drag."

"Nope."

Pressing her lips together, she sighed. "Okay…" Digging in her pocket, she pulled out the money she had and placed it on the table in front of him. "It's not much but it's all I have on me."

"Here." Spike tossed down a few more bills. "That should get us somethin' good."

Rack glanced to it, then stood and came to stand in front of the blonde. He reached for her and she took a step back. "You've got to give a little to get a little, right?" She frowned but forced herself to stay still as he placed his palm flat on her chest.

Red electric sparks shot out and he inhaled heavily, smiling broadly as if he were experiencing ecstasy. It only lasted a minute however, and then she was free to recoil in horror and itch at the spot he'd touched.

"Such power…" Making a fist, he smirked. "I can sense your friend's essence. Jagged like shards of glass, keeping you from being whole. But it'll help with the spell…"

"What do I have to do?" She asked, his words echoing in her head.

"Just wait. She'll come to you." He winked at her.

The blonde eyed him for a second. "And she'll be herself? Not some weirdo. And the town won't be sucked into an ant hill or anything?"

"Let me put it this way, if anything goes wrong, I'm sure your vampire friend here will tell you where to find me so that you can  _slay_  me." He snickered rubbing his knuckles.

She narrowed her brows at him. "Yeah he will. And you better believe I'll be back to kick your scaly ass."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's like "what" with Willow's actions and Buffy's impulsiveness but I had to do it of course for plot. ;)


	21. When The Smoke Clears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos! :)

Chapter Twenty One: When The Smoke Clears

The following day came and went without incident because Buffy managed to avoid the bunch of Brutus' who were more commonly known as her friends. She totally understood their stupid reasons for not wanting to help her, but she couldn't get over the sting. That was partly their fault too for always being there in the past. So…she was kinda blameless. Just wanting to help a friend who may or may not be in trouble. Boy could she rationalize or could she rationalize?

It wouldn't have been so bad if she hadn't felt like they were letting her down. She'd always tried so hard to not let  _them_  down. To save their lives over and over again whenever they needed her. Yet instead of quoting the dangers and doing the spell anyway, they'd shut her down. It just seemed wrong.

Oh well.

If Rack were a scumbag of his word, Faith would be getting out of jail soon. She wasn't sure how it would happen or if she'd have to do anything, but she was excited nonetheless. Excited and a bit worried because believe it or not but she didn't want the world to go kerplewee. Not even for Faith. And now that she had more time to honestly think about things and not run on pure adrenaline, she could see where perhaps she'd been rash in her actions. Where perhaps she should have called the brunette first and asked her how things were.

But then she wouldn't have been impulsive Buffy who often jumped into the fray without checking to see how far down the ground was. She just hoped everything worked out for the best.

_Yeah_ …maybe if she said it enough she'd honestly believe it would.

Tucking strands of hair behind her ear, she sighed and swung her legs against the large headstone. There were no fresh graves and she was pretty sure no oogie boogie would be rising tonight, but like most screwed up people she found the cemetery to be a comforting place. Well when things weren't trying to kill her there. But it was nice and quiet, and gave her a chance to get all her thoughts together.

She knew everyone would freak when Faith showed up. And they would freak even more when they found out how—if they found out. She was a firm believer in saying nothing to spare them a case of the grumpies. Also she didn't want them saying  _I told you so_  if the world did in fact start to turn into shrink-wrap.

Letting Spike help her had been a big mistake. It was obvious he'd take it the wrong way and think it meant more than it did. But beggars couldn't be choosers in her situation. And as long as he stayed just as annoying as he was now, things would be fine. She could deal with the Buffy Bot and the stalkings and puppy dog eyes. If he tried for more than that, he'd end up being able to fit in an ashtray.

Footsteps sounded behind her and she turned swiftly, then made a face when she realized who it was. "Spike."

"Hey." He nodded with a grin. "Anythin' good out?"

She shook her head. "No. I'm not really in patrol mode anyway. Just sorta…clearin' my head and everything."

"And how are the super friends? Told 'em bout our plan yet?" He inquired, smoothing a hand over his platinum hair.

She ignored the way he said  _our_. "No an—and I don't think I will until I know what might happen. Either way they'll freak."

He nodded again. "Yeah but…they'll get over it ya know? The heart wants what it wants…"

"And mine wants Faith." She wet her lips. "I do wanna thank you for helpin' me find that Rack guy. But if this goes wrong my foot will be thankin' your ass."

Spike laughed. "Fair enough, Slayer." Pause. "So where is ya sweetie anyway?"

"I don't know." The blonde said softly. "Maybe it takes a while for the spell to kick in. I—I'd call her but I'm not sure how things are going to play out."

He arched a brow and rubbed his rugged cheekbones. "Think she might be pissed off?"

Buffy sent him a look. "So much yes. It occurred to me after the fact that perhaps I should have gotten her opinion since it's her life but, I'm also crazy so…"

He smirked, folding his arms over his chest. "The best ones are. Dru was as shaky as a bag of marbles but she had her moments. I think I loved her more for it."

"I don't even wanna  _think_  about that word right now." She admitted. "If I can get through liking Faith, then we'll see what happens."

Watching her for a moment, he grinned. "This Faith—I remember when she showed up a few years ago. Everyone was all on high alert like a rabid dog was on the loose. Bird even managed to rattle my cage a bit…" Trailing off, he shrugged. "Still find it interestin' how you can only really fall for the dodgy ones."

"I wish you would stop saying things like that. It's not true."

"Oh yeah? Tell that to Soldier Boy. His bark wasn't as bad as his bite, and that's why ya didn't feel him. You only want someone if they've tried to kill ya."

"What's that fist? You wanna say hello to Spike's face several times in a row? I think that can be arranged."

"Alright love, we'll play it your way."

Buffy scowled at him and hopped off the tombstone, heading for the large iron gates of the exit. Too bad the chip didn't shock him when he said dumb shit as well.

Instead of heading for her home, she decided to swing by  _the_   _Bronze_  for something tasty with hopefully blueberries on top. She could hear boots thumping behind her and she knew Spike was following her, but she ignored him. Sometimes it was just better to pretend he didn't exist than to pummel him. He never learned from those anyway.

Handing the bouncer ten dollars she smiled and slowly walked through the door, glancing around. As usual people were dancing and drinking and chattering, having a good time without a care in the world. Idly she remembered how many times these people had seen the horrors that lie in the dark, and yet the next day they were back to being oblivious. They'd rationalize whatever creepy crawly popped up to drugs or gang members on PCP, and call it a day.

"Want a beer?" Spike asked behind her.

"Ew God no. Although it is nice and foamy, I'm scared that I'll end up in another era." She strolled up to the glass counter of treats and eyed them all. "Are these fresh?"

"Made a little earlier." The bartender replied. "What can I get cha?"

"The big one with blueberries." She watched as he placed the muffin on a napkin and handed it over after taking her money. She perched on a stool and prepared to bite down when a cold tingle shot through her body like lightning. The muffin thumped onto the counter and she gasped, blinking rapidly.

"Are you alright?" The vampire questioned with a concerned expression.

"I—I…" Stammering, she stood quickly and gazed around. Her green eyes took in each face on the dance floor, and then the crowd slowly parted like in a movie.

Sitting over in a booth with a bottle of beer on the small round table, with a cigarette between her slender fingers was…Faith. She was dressed in a black leather jacket and matching pants, with a white wife beater. Her thick boots were planted firmly on the floor. Her long hair was russet and shiny, falling around her face and shoulders in springy banana curls. But it was her eyes that stood out the most. They were like brown coals of fire burning straight in her direction.

The blonde stared, dumbfounded as she slowly stood and blended into the crowd like a ghost. She ascended the stairs one by one, looking over her shoulder before continuing up to the dimmer balcony level.

Buffy left Spike talking where he stood and followed her as if she had no choice. She smoothed down her green sweater as she reached the top, her heart hammering away in her chest. It threatened to jump into her throat but she swallowed it back down.

"Faith?"

Silence.

"Faith I—I know you're up here…"

Silence.

_Great. She's pissed at me_. Frowning, she moved over to where the light didn't reach. "Look I know this is—that you're—"

"Did you do it?" Asked the whiskey on the rocks voice. "Did you spring me?"

The blonde lowered her head. "Yeah. Bu—but I have a good reason."

"Well I'm all ears, B. Tell me why ya got me out of prison without my permission. Tell me how ya did it." Faith said coolly.

"A spell." She whispered. "After I heard about your—the stabbin' I—I couldn't just do  _nothing_."

Buffy gasped when hands clutched at her waist from behind, and lips appeared at her ear. "You did nothin' for almost two years. What makes now so different? 'Sides, I can handle myself."

"I know. I—I was scared. The thought of somethin' happening to you; it's like there is no air in the room."

"So ya go behind my back and break me outta jail? Make me a fugitive?"

"You're not a fugitive. No—no one—it's like you were never in prison in the first place."

Faith sighed and took a step back, leaning against the iron railing. "I wake up in the middle of the night and it feels like someone is rippin' my guts out. I mean the pain is so bad I  _actually_ feel like cryin' and shit. So Eddie takes me to the infirmary and I'm curled up in a ball on the table…and no one can find a damn thing wrong with me." Pause. "Few minutes or hours or whatever roll by and I'm ready to pass out. And then this…smoke comes outta nowhere and wraps around me like a vice. Squeezin' and burnin' my skin—thought it was some demon finally takin' me out. Imagine my surprise when the smoke left and I was lyin' naked out in a field."

"I'm sorry. I didn't know it would be like that." She fiddled with her hands nervously. "I wasn't thinking…"

The ex-con looked out over the crowd. "Convinced an old lady I'd been robbed and she lent me this blanket from her trunk. Took me to Angel's…"

_Oh shit_. "Angel knows? I'm surprised he's not here to yell at me."

The brunette smirked. "When it was clear he hadn't busted me out, I knew where to head. He thought a big bad was rollin' up on Sunnydale…but I laid it out for him. He wasn't happy, though he went all quiet when I mentioned the  _us_  stuff. But he got real cranky… especially when Wesley started in on forces beyond control."

"I heard about all of th—the bad stuff. I wouldn't ha—have done it if it meant the end of the world." Buffy replied honestly. "I just wanted you safe. I—I didn't mean to cause you pain or to upset…anyone."

" _You're_  gonna deal with big A when he shows up, and I got a feelin' he will." Faith clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth. "I'm mad but I'm also kinda…touched I guess. Didn't think ya really cared as much as I guess ya do. Still I wasn't in there for fun. I'm tryin' to get my shit together and as weird as it sounds, bein' on the outside makes me nervous."

Buffy stepped closer and took her hands. "Nothing—you're gonna be fine. I know that bad things happened but I'm here for you this time, I swear. Faith…" Smiling as the emotions flooded her at knowing she was okay, she hugged her tightly.

"Yeah yeah…" Faith mused, returning the embrace. She winced only moderately inside; her wound was almost completely healed. "You're not off the hook yet, Blondie. Can't believe ya friends helped ya either."

"Um…that's a story for later." The blonde related. "I—I felt you earlier. Before I saw you."

"Ditto cept…it's cold now. It used to be this warmth that filled me up. Now it's frosty." Her brows narrowed. "Maybe it'll wear off though."

"Well well well…" Spike swaggered into view. "So this must be ya bit of crumpet. The elusive Faith…and in her own body."

Faith tilted her head to the side. "William the Bloody with a chip in his head. Or didja finally get off ya leash? Is it time for our confrontation now?"

"What was it you said Buffy was when ya were wearin' her bloody skin? Oh right—that you were a stuck up tight ass with no sense of fun." He smirked.

"Stop it." Buffy glared at him. "You two will  _never_  fight. And Spike if I hear of you provoking her, I'll stake you myself." Grabbing Faith's hand, she pulled her towards the stairs. "C'mon."

The brunette grunted. "So what? You and him like pals now?"

"No. Of course not. It—it's just—he sorta helped my friends and Dawn while I was gone." Explained the blonde. "Looked out for them and stuff."

A nod. "Aight, catchin' up. Anythin' else I need to know?"

"I'm really glad you're here." She smiled widely.

The ex-con smiled as well, flashing her dimples. "Angel gave me some cash for a motel. Think they still got my old room?"

Buffy shook her head. "No you're stayin' with me. Yo—you can have the couch or…well the bed is comfy."

"Heh I'll bet. B…ya know we got a lot to talk about, right?"

"Yeah I know."

"Think ya up for it? All of it."

"I dunno. But I'm willing to find out."

~*~

Buffy closed her door and leaned against it, smiling at the female who was perched on the edge of her bed. It was amazing luck that no one was home. That she wouldn't have to worry about telling them how Faith had showed up until tomorrow. They were probably all at the Magic Box doing inventory, or maybe Willow and Tara were at the dorms.

"So the brat isn't really your sister, and my memories of her followin' us around back in the day aren't real…" Faith itched at her chin. "You guys been doin' some weird shit since I've been gone."

The blonde chuckled. "A little bit, yeah. But she feels like my sister so I suppose that is all that matters." She paused. "Um I just remembered—your apartment is still there with all of your stuff. I guess the rent is getting paid some how."

"Eh, dunno if I wanna stay there. Bad memories." She unlaced her boots and removed them. "I'll have to check the place out."

"Fair enough." Buffy cleared her throat and perched beside the other girl. "I really am sorry for the way I went about things. It's just, I heard about what happened to you and I got so upset. I thought about all the times I wasn't there or how someone could get in a lucky shot. I had to get you out…I just  _had_  to."

"I get what you're sayin', but it wasn't your call to make, B." The brunette replied. "I mean I'm happy to be out but what if things get fucked up? What if I fuck up and end up hurtin' someone? Or myself for that matter. Inside I was aight cause I had to be. But now it's gonna be  _all_  on me to make good decisions and shit."

"No, you're not alone. I'm here and…Angel is here. If you need help all you have to do is come to us." Pause. "Besides, anyone can tell that you're a different person now. It's in your eyes. I trust you completely."

The ex-con snorted. "Yeah well, let's hope you're right. I wanna stay on the straight and narrow. Gonna try hard." Sighing, she flopped back onto the mattress. "So this spell business; Willow hook it up?"

Buffy scratched at a faded spot on her jeans. "A—actually Willow refused to help me. I can't believe it but she said a whole lot of stuff that all equaled no. Th—then I was freaking out about what could be happening to you…and Spike showed up—"

Faith rose up on her elbows, her expression cynical. "Why would bleach head help you? He hates you."

_If only that were the case_. "He…sorta fell in love with me somewhere along the line. I was totally shocked when Dawn told me. He's always fishing for extra points, so he led me to someone who could help get you out."

"Uh huh. And what's he gonna get in return?"

"Well if he doesn't annoy me I  _won't_  dust him."

"And this person who helped, what's their story?"

"His name is Rack and he's like a dealer for spells. I paid him money and he worked the mojo."

"Just like that? Sounds fishy to me."

"I don't trust him but he had a few valid points. And here you are…and the world is still spinning."

"But at what cost? Gotta tell ya, I'm not likin' this one bit. Whatever he did, it makes me feel cold inside."

"It's probably just an after effect of the spell."

Licking her lips, the brunette sat up fully. "And if it ain't?"

Sighing, Buffy reached up and stroked the other girl's cheek, finding her skin silky smooth. "Then we will deal with it. Together."

"What about your Scoobies? Pretty sure this ain't gonna go over well with them." Faith frowned. "See? This is exactly the kinda shit I didn't want. You givin' up your life for me. I'm not worth it."

The blonde rubbed her shoulder. "I'm not giving up anything. My friends will come around, they always do. And if they don't then—then they aren't the people I thought they were." She spoke softer. "This is a fresh start for both of us. What happened in the past was fucked up, but now it's time to focus on what we could be. We were supposed to be a team of hot chicks with super powers…an—and so much more. I think it's worth it. I think you're worth  _really_  gettin' to know."

Remaining quiet for a moment, Faith stood and strolled to the door. "I'm…gonna get a quick shower before the others get in." And then she was gone.

Buffy exhaled deeply, putting her hands in her lap. At least one thing about Faith was the same; she still shut down when it came to truly sharing her emotions. Although it wasn't a nice thing, she'd take it over anything else. Because under that tough exterior was a young girl who could feel fear and remorse and kindness. She knew if she chipped away at the stone by showing her how committed she was to being there, eventually the gooey center would be revealed.

However she couldn't concentrate on that just yet. She had to tell her friends what she'd done and pray that everything went well. That they didn't take one look at Faith and wanna throw her back into jail. She also had to make sure the police weren't looking for the former inmate for her own peace of mind.

In spite of everything, she felt that she'd made the right decision because Faith's safety was top priority. As it should be. Yet there was a nagging voice in the back of her head saying that things would not be so cut and dry. Angel was going to show up soon and she knew he would  _not_  be happy with her. They could even come to blows. And while she was ecstatic to have Faith near, she couldn't get her words out of her head.

_Whatever he did, it makes me feel cold inside._

"I gotta find out what he did." She said to no one. "Tara will help if Willow is still all frowny face. Maybe even Giles after he recovers from all of the shock. It's not like it was anything bad… It was just a spell."

Even as she said it she was not one hundred percent sure. And that scared her down to her core. What if she'd not only upset the natural balance, but also put Faith into a serious case of danger?


	22. Cold Shoulder

Chapter Twenty Two: Cold Shoulder

Buffy awoke to the sun shining through her thin curtains. She yawned and sat up, glancing to the small clock on her nightstand. It was only 9:30 in the morning so no one would be up yet. Though thank goodness for the weekend because she didn't have to worry about Dawn bursting in needing something for school. She had time to think and consider, and stare at the gorgeous female still sleeping beside her.

It had been decided that Faith would share her bed because her sleeping on the couch, in the open, was just too risky. Anyone could walk in and see her, and probably freak out seconds after. Not to mention Dawn often raided the fridge in the middle of the night. She didn't want her sister and her old friend getting into a food fight, throwing mushy cupcakes everywhere.

But back to Faith. She'd slept on the far right side and had been much tamer than she'd expected. No kicking or tossing and turning. There had been a bit of murmuring and the requesting of cigarettes, but nothing too outrageous. Though she got the feeling Faith wasn't sleeping as soundly as her body let on, which was totally understandable considering all she had been through.

She looked serene however right now. Her lips were twitching but her breathing was steady. Without thinking, the blonde reached over and drug her fingers down her cheek, tracing the shape of her jaw line. She yelped in surprise when a strong hand clamped around her wrist like a vice, hindering any more movement.

The brunette's eyes snapped open and she blinked a few times, probably trying to figure out where she was. When she realized that there was no danger, she released the blonde and sat up. "Sorry."

"N—no it was my fault. I…there was no thinkage on my part." Buffy smiled timidly.

"It's just…when someone is touchin' ya in the joint, it won't lead to soft cuddles." She stretched her arms over her head with a grunt. "Well it might but trust me, you don't want 'em." Swinging her legs around, she planted her feet on the floor. "Your bed is much softer than that cot in my cell. Smells better too."

Buffy chuckled and watched as she stood, shaking out her limbs in her plain white panties and matching bra. Her eyes slid over Faith's curves in a manner that was obscene even to  _her_ , but it was hard not to ogle when it was all out there. And so bouncy and perky looking. Maybe it was time for her to start thinking about if she was gay, or if her feelings only pertained to Faith.

The ex-con rolled her head on her neck, then smirked. "Never thought I'd see the day when Buffy Summers would be checkin' out my ass."

"Never thought I'd be checkin' it out." She giggled, biting her bottom lip. "It's nice though. Everything is very nice."

"That's such a Mayberry sorta compliment."

"Hey cut me some slack. I'm new at this, remember?"

"Aww poor baby. Not sure how to handle her girly feelings."

"I—I'm handling them just fine thankyouverymuch."

"Actually I think it's your  _lack_  of  _handling_  that has ya so calm."

The blonde waved a hand as she got up and searched for her slippers. "I didn't mind kissing you. I quite enjoyed it actually." She looked under the bed. "Besides, you act like I don't have lusty thoughts about you…"

Faith's interest piqued. "Oh do tell. Lay somethin' scandalous on me."

Clearing her throat, she yanked out the fuzzy bunnies and stuck her feet into them. "Remember that night in Angel's mansion? Wh—when you were gonna slice me up?"

The brunette's expression fell a little, but she nodded. "Yup. Don't see how that fits..."

"I—um—there was this  _dream_  I had where you—did stuff. Non stabby stuff." She swallowed visibly. "Erotic…stuff."

"While you were chained up? Gotta say that night would have been better if things had went down that way. If I'd went down that way." Laughing, she folded her arms over her chest. "Pretty sure you'd have kicked my ass though."

That was most likely true. "Probably. But that was then and this is now. Or it—it'll be now whenever now happens."

"As much as I'd like to get pelvic with ya, perhaps we should deal with other shit first." Faith mused. "Otherwise I might not be able to concentrate..."

"Oh and we wouldn't want that!" Buffy chuckled and shook her head. "I'm gonna try my hand at breakfast. Come down when you're ready."

Smiling, she strolled from the room and jogged down the stairs, swirling around into the kitchen. She wasn't the best cook in the world--okay so she was probably the like next to worst cook in the world--but eggs and bacon couldn't be that hard. Though her mother had accused her of being able to burn water. Breakfast and other kitchen related things had always been her domain.

Setting a frying pan onto the stove, she rooted in the cabinet for the cooking oil. "Gah where is it? I know we have some, I—I saw Tara holding it once."

"Morning." Dawn yawned out as she entered. "Wow, are you gonna cook? Should I put the fire department on speed dial?"

"Ha ha." Her sister snorted. "Keep that up and you won't get any."

"If it smells like your last meal I'll count myself lucky." The other girl snickered, reaching for a box of cereal. "You seem peppier than usual. You went to bed early last night too, huh? You were asleep when we got home."

Buffy wet her lips. "Well you're gonna find out sooner or later, and I think sooner would be better considering... I—I did…something. Something was did and you might—you might wanna hit me after you find out what it was."

"Oh man, was it my red cardigan?" Dawn whined, milk in hand. "I  _told_  you not to slay in it because that is how my blue shirt got ruined."

"What? No I hate that cardigan—I'd never wear it." Taking a deep breath, she idly banged a fork on the counter. "Faith is here."

The teenager blinked, her big eyes stretching wider. "Wh—what? How—I mean when—I mean, what? Did she break out of jail?"

The Slayer rubbed her cheek. "No. After Willow said that she wasn't going to do the spell for me, I freaked out and kept thinkin' about all of the ways she could be hurt. So I—I—Spike found someone else to do the spell for me."

"Someone else?"

"Yeah, this guy who does magic. I paid him and he got her out."

"Wow. Buffy this is—this is—the others are gonna freak!"

"I know, but what was I supposed to do?"

"Wow. Well this should be an interesting day. Is—is she here now?"

"Upstairs, but she'll be down soon. I know things are stressed but could you be…not evil to her."

"I told you before that I support what you're doing. As long as she doesn't go all psycho killer, I'm fine."

"Good, th—that's good. But um, could you  _not_  mention the words 'psycho' and 'killer' as well?"

Dawn nodded and grinned, continuing with her morning routine of eating breakfast. Buffy pulled the eggs out of the fridge and cracked one open, watching as the yellow part oozed into the frying pan. She frowned and dug out the bits of shell that slipped in too, glancing to the stairs when footsteps sounded. Seconds later Faith rounded the corner in a long sleeved blue shirt over a white tank top.

She stopped when she noticed the former Key, looking to her sister for a moment. "Sup? Brat's all woman sized."

"Hello Faith." Dawn remarked. "How are you?"

The brunette looked slightly shocked at the non-threatening welcome. "Five by five. What about yourself?"

"I'm good." She said. She grabbed a banana from atop the fridge and a knife to cut it up with. "We heard about what happened to you. The stabbing and stuff. Glad that you're alright."

"Thanks…" Pause. "Not the reception I was expectin' but I'll take it. Um, B laid it out for me about the whole key business, but it doesn't change the feelings that I screwed ya over when you were little. So…sorry for terrorizin' ya that one time."

The teenager focused on her  _Captain_   _Crunch_. "It's okay. I don't know if I should be mad over something that never really happened. Besides, if Buffy says that you are better and stuff, then I believe her."

Faith stared at her, her lips in a tight line. "Thanks, kid. And yeah I'm walkin' the path to redemption now I guess you could say. But ya know, half of it is makin' amends to the people ya wronged. Bein' able to say you're sorry and shit."

"Apology accepted." She offered up a tiny smile.

Buffy grinned; releasing the breath she didn't even know she'd been holding. It was nice to see her sister stepping up and acting like an adult for once. Putting aside her dislike and her mistrust because she knew it was what she wanted. Honestly she'd anticipated that everything would be in opposite world. That Dawn would have had the most issues with her and Faith—well with  _her_  and Faith period. Yet she'd surprised her by being on board the love train.

Now if only her friends had their tickets ready as well.

"Ya know, I think I'm gonna go check out my old place…" Faith thumbed to the door. "Get some clothes and shit."

"What about breakfast?" The blonde held up the uncooked egg.

She chuckled. "I'll get a bagel or somethin'. Thanks though…" She headed for the back door and outside.

"Faith wait." Buffy jogged out onto the porch. "Where—are we gonna meet up or somethin'? Why don't you stop by the  _Magic_   _Box_  when you're done? Everyone is gonna find out about you eventually. Don't you wanna do it with a group and get it out of the way?"

Making a face, the brunette shrugged. "Guess so. Later."

Watching her leave, the older female pouted and leaned to the door frame. She understood that she was a bit shaky about seeing everyone else. It made perfect sense to be honest. But it was just something that was going to happen. Though delaying it was not such a bad idea. Give her time to ease her friends into the fact that she went behind their backs and got her former arch nemesis out of prison through less than stellar means.

On second thought, maybe hiding Faith in the basement until they all died or moved away would be a better way to go.

~*~

It was weird the way a person's life could fit in a brown box. Most of their possessions, hell if not all of them could be just tucked away like they never existed. Whoever said it wasn't possible to wipe all memory of someone off the face of the Earth was dumb. The funny thing though? Faith was damned surprised no one had tried to do that with her.

All her junk was just as she'd left it. Packed and stacked, taped and stapled to the point where she had to rip shit open. All her trashy clothes and thick boots, her ancient cd player and the only thing left from her childhood--a ratty old bear that was missing one eye. The only thing she couldn't seem to find was the knife. The knife that had been plunged into her gut. Not that she really wanted it. Was just curious what happened to the fucker.

Sitting on the plastic covered couch, she sighed and rubbed her chest. She was stuck in the middle of being happy to be out and terrified. She believed that she had changed cause the whole, urge to stab people thing wasn't there anymore, but what if when others didn't believe she reverted back to form? Collapsed in on herself like a black hole?

And then there was B, worryin' her pretty little head about her. In truth she liked the fact that Buffy Summers finally gave a damn bout what happened to her. But she wasn't that angry sixteen year old anymore, the one who'd felt betrayed when the cheerleader asked the jock to the prom and not the weird kid who played with fire. It was strange, but she was more mature now. Could take a situation and see all sides—not just the one that benefited her.

Just like she figured, B had gone and fucked up her tight little circle. Just like she hadn't wanted as well. It was like the fear that she was a fucken cancer to the blonde coming true. So what if her Scoobies wouldn't work some kinda trick to bust her out? Probably had a good reason. Probably thought they were protectin' their own and shit. Who could argue with that?

Buffy  _needed_  her friends, now more than ever that her mom was gone. She needed people she could count on, and Faith wasn't sure she was that kinda person yet. Or if she'd ever be. She wanted to be but when did anyone ever get what they really wanted?

'Sides, they couldn't even be friends back in the day. How in the hell were they supposed to be more?

She'd already fucked up the blonde's life twice. Wasn't in the mood for round three. Maybe it would be better if she just skipped town and never looked back. Sure B would be hurt and angry, but in the long run she'd get over it. Get married and have 2.5 kids or whatever shit like that.

Frowning, she stood and moved over to the large square windows. She touched the cool pane with her hand, remembering vividly everything that had went down. The broken glass, the massive fight, and that wicked knife breaking flesh like she was just some animal to be put down. Maybe she was.

She felt cold inside, and she didn't need a doc to tell her that was weird. Even when Buffy was in alter world or whatever, the simmering hum never fully went away. It was weak as all hell, but still throbbed like a slow current in the back of her mind. Remindin' her that she wasn't alone. That there was one other person in the whole wide world that she shared a connection too, even if they weren't on good terms.

Now it was like ice ice baby. Rolling down her arms and tickling her fingertips. Made her feel kinda numb and not in that good too much sex kinda way either. More than that though…it scared her.

Sighing, she grabbed up her denim jacket and stalked from the room. She made her way onto the street and walked aimlessly for a while, playing catch up in her mind. Even though she was good now, she wondered what things would be like if the Mayor had won? Probably not as light and cheery, with people taking their dogs for walks or kids playing at the playground.

She wondered was there a world out there where the Mayor  _had_  won. Were they both living like Gods or Kings or whatever? Was Buffy dead? Did she care? Were things easier or worse?

Running a hand through her hair, she crossed the street and stopped in front of the  _Magic_   _Box_. There were a million reasons why she shouldn't go in. Only one why she should. Anyone else would have thought this a no brainer and hauled ass in the other direction.

Exhaling, she put on her game face and pushed open the door, listening as the bell gave a happy chime. She strolled into the shop, taking in the crystal balls and the weird books with their weird symbols. All heads turned and she felt like she was in front of a firing squad.

"Am I interruptin'?"

"Hello Faith." Giles replied with coffee mug in hand. "You look…well."

She nodded, folding her arms over her chest. "Still alive…so far anyway."

Buffy came over to stand beside her, reaching out to touch her arm. "Are you okay?"

She nodded again. "Yup. How're ya peeps takin' the news?"

Xander decided to speak up. "The news? You mean learnin' that our bestest bud has went behind our back to break a crazy person outta jail? And that she used some weird joe no name magic guy to do it? Ooh we're cozier than peas in a pod."

"Well as long as everythin' is aight." She smirked.

Willow bristled at her flip manner. "Th--this isn't a joke. That Rack guy could have seriously upset the universe with his spell. Who knows what might happen."

"Guys, stop." Buffy said slowly. "What's done is done. There—there's no reason to get all snippy with Faith—it's not her fault. I did it."

"For her." Xander mumbled. "Which I'm sorry, is just a bit bonkers of the Buff if you ask me."

"No one did."

"Well maybe you should, then you wouldn't be letting dangerous people back out onto the streets."

Faith itched at her cheek. "Look, you guys got every right to hate me for what I did. And you don't gotta trust me, fact is I'd be shocked if ya did. But don't blame B, aight? She was just…being…the goody two shoes we all know her to be. Givin' a shit, even about some washed up con."

The Wicca glanced between the two girls. "It—it's just hard to take in all of this. And I do mean  _all_  of this." She paused, gathering her words. "Some of it is you Faith bu—but some of it is the whole girlie stuff. I'd be stunned if Buffy suddenly wanted any girl."

The blonde tucked strands of hair behind her ear. "God! When are you gonna get over that? I—I mean I don't understand why it matters that much? Xander loves the Backstreet Boys but we don't have discussions about it."

"I like their music!" He exclaimed. "It's good to dance to."

Willow chewed on her bottom lip. "I—I just don't wanna see you hurt. Thi—being gay isn't a game. It's not something you just try on like a—a new shirt then say  _ooh this doesn't fit. I think I wanna be straight again_. An—and Faith's not gay."

The brunette strutted over to the glass counter, leaning to it. "I'm not straight."

"But, aren't there some gay people who like get married to the opposite sex and then realize they're gay?" Dawn questioned innocently. "I mean, you dated Oz for like almost three years before you met Tara. Maybe Buffy is finally figuring out who she really is. I just—I don't get why that sounds so far fetched…"

"It doesn't." Anya stated. "Well not to those of us who are sane and using our brains, and not being over run with jealousy at the fact our best friend went gay for someone else. Being a former vengeance demon that's been alive for a thousand years, I've experimented. However I found that penis, particularly Xander's penis, makes me the happiest. I mean I spent years and years cursing evil men and giving them boils or paper cuts on their tongue, and yet now I love one. Sometimes you don't know what's good until you actually have some." She fiddled with the ring on her finger. "Perhaps Buffy didn't know how tasty Faith was until she had a little."

Faith chuckled while Buffy turned beet red and avoided everyone's gaze. "I don't think I could be more horrified than I am now."

"I dunno, makes sense to me." Faith mused. "And I've been told that I do taste hella good."

"I stand corrected." The blonde snorted. "Willow—everyone—I know that what I did was wrong. Believe me afterwords I wanted to kick myself for being so stupid and just…jumping into what could have turned really bad. But I don't regret it. I—I understand that this all seems out of left field, but can't you just trust me? Trust that I know what I'm doing. That…" Trailing off, she sighed. "That this isn't just a phase for me. Do you really think I would have went to  _so_  much trouble, not to mention riskin' your friendships if—if I didn't feel strongly for Faith? Or if I didn't think she was reformed…"

The group exchanged looks, almost as if they were communicating telepathically. There were a few moments of silence, and then Xander grumbled. "Well when you put it in that logical way…" Cracking a smile, he shrugged. "I… _guess_  we could have an opened mind. What do ya say, Will?"

The red head inhaled deeply, looking to her best friend. "It…does make a little sense…" She pouted. "Okay. But if she pummels someone, I'm gonna say I told you so."

Buffy chuckled with relief, stepping towards both of them. They all hugged in the middle of the floor, and it was easy to tell that they were thankful their disagreement was more or less over. For now anyway.

Faith however was a bit more concerned with Buffy admitting she  _felt strongly_  for her.

A pretty, slightly voluptuous young woman, who'd been quiet throughout the whole discussion, got up and timidly approached her, breaking her thoughts. "H—hi. I'm Tara. We—we sorta met before."

"Ahh yeah I remember. You're Red's chick." She grinned. "Sorry for bein' a bitch to ya."

"It—it's okay." She stammered, blushing.

"So what now?" Dawn inquired. "I mean, are we all on the same page?"

"Yeah. Are we…still doing  _that_   _thing_  we were gonna do?" Xander asked offhandedly.

"Maybe. But…for different reasons." Willow replied.

Buffy arched a brow. "What thing?"

"Just a spell to…make sure the world isn't gonna blow up." She related lightly. "So hey, who wants muffins?"

As they all began to talk at once, Faith migrated into the back through an open door. A training room…nice. She crackled her knuckles and hit the plastic dummy man in his chest, wondering what it would feel like to slay again. To actually stake a vamp and watch it go poof. In the past it was always a major high, especially the parts leading up to the staking.

"Wanna patrol with me tonight?"

She chuckled, not bothering to look back. "That obvious to read my mind huh?"

The blonde stepped in more. "Well I remember how excited I was when I first saw this place. The brain naturally connects to slayage."

"Ahh…" Pausing, she bit back a yawn. "I guess I should get back on the horse. Help ya out and all that."

Buffy giggled. "Just like old times, but hopefully without the going evil parts." Clearing her throat, she drug her tongue along her bottom lip and took her hand. "Ya know, I think things are gonna be okay for us. For everyone. I…just have this feeling."

The ex-con rolled her head on her shoulders, jerking somewhat at the skin-to-skin contact. Not because it was unexpected or cause it she hated it, but cause it made a literal chill dance up her spine. Like someone had just walked over her grave.

Noticing her expression, Buffy squeezed her fingers. "Hey, you okay? Geeze…" She brought her hand to her lips and blew on them. "Your hand is freezing. I think that's a sign of low blood sugar or something."

The brunette laughed. "Guess I should go eat a donut or somethin' huh? Thought you liked cold hands, though?"

"Ha ha." She scowled playfully. "That was the old Buffy. The  _new_  Buffy is pretty fond of the heat."

"Well I hope I can keep it up for ya."

"Never seemed like it would be a problem before."

"Yeah well…things change Blondie. Things change."


	23. What Is Normal?

Chapter Twenty-Three: What Is Normal?

Xander glanced at Willow from across the table in his apartment, waiting until he could hear Tara and Anya chattering in the other room before sighing deeply. He scratched at his head, resting his elbows on top. The secret meeting had been her idea. "So…yesterday was interesting huh?"

Willow made a face. "That's one word for it. I—I dunno how I feel about Faith being back. Especially with how Buffy went about getting her here. You gotta admit, that's totally out of charactery for her."

He nodded. "Yeah it is. But Buff has been known to do the wacky when it comes to someone she—someone she cares about." He chewed on his bottom lip. "Like when she hid Angel from us and all that. Maybe this is that."

"Could be. Bu—but her and Faith? I…just don't understand how something like this could happen. They're supposed to hate each other. Th—there was fighting and stabby stabby, and body switching. How does one go from body switching to—to dating?" She pouted, putting her hands in her lap. "What if things go how they did before? Wi—with it being a Slayer's Club and us all…out in the cold. And I'm not jealous by the way."

"Right."

"I'm not!"

"Hey! I was agreein' with you."

"I just don't wanna see Buffy get hurt."

Drumming his fingers on the counter top, he cleared his throat. "I'm torn. I mean on the one hand we should trust Buffy's judgment but on the other hand, she seems to be three eggs short of a full dozen. Going to this weird magic guy and asking him for help—"

The Wicca interrupted him. "Is totally something she'd never have done before! Unless it were about Angel but she loved him, and there is no way she loves Faith. I—cause they just started their—whatever." Pause. "I think we should do the spell. Fi—find out if she's…normal."

"Are you sure?" He inquired slowly. "I mean I'm all for making sure she's alright, but goin' behind her back and stuff? It seems kinda shady. No it  _is_  shady. Shady like what she did to us. Two wrongs don't make a right."

"We just wanna be certain she's not—that some fiend isn't in control." Willow explained evenly. "An—and she never has to know to be honest. I can do it, and just tell you what it says. If everything is fine we'll just go about our day whistling a jaunty tune."

Xander arched a brow, itching at his chin. "And if everything is not fine? If she's being driven like a new car by some beastie?"

"I'll revoke its license." She grinned happily. "Buffy goes back to being normal and Faith—Faith goes back to jail. Or maybe she can help Angel in L.A."

Tara, who'd been silently listening from the kitchen doorway, frowned. "I—I can't believe you two are being so—so mean."

"Tara. It—it's not being mean. We just wanna protect Buffy." Her girlfriend said softly.

"Yes but it seems that yo—you don't even care what Buffy wants." She shook her head, disappointed. "I don't think there is anything wrong with her. I—I think she just genuinely likes Faith, and there is nothing wrong with that. You—you shouldn't project your feelings and emotions onto the situation. It—it's not fair."

The Wicca sighed, tucking hair behind her ear. "But why Faith? Why couldn't it have been anyone but her? What? She couldn't find a sane girl to like?"

"Well they do have a lot in common." Anya piped up. "Both Slayers. Both strong. Both attractive. Both like stabbing things with wooden objects."

"You think Buffy and Faith are attractive?" The only male asked, intrigued.

She shrugged. "They both have certain qualities that I would be partial to if I were interested in females. Faith has lovely lips and Buffy's breasts are quite nice."

Everyone just stared at her for a moment, and then Tara was chuckling. "We don't always get to choose who we fall for. May—maybe they have a connection that we—we can't understand." Folding her arms over her chest, she shrugged. "Either way, it's wrong to meddle in Buffy's life like that. And wh—what about Faith? I know you don't like her bu—but she's a human being. A person. Y—you can't just toss her away like tr—trash."

Willow stood and moved over to her. "We wouldn't toss her away. May—maybe she'd wanna go back to jail. If Buffy turns out to—ya know—be possessed or something. And I'm sure Angel would be glad to have her help."

"You're both in denial. You should trust your friend."

"We do, baby. But she was in this alter dimension for months. Anything could have happened to her. An—and she didn't come back liking Twinkies or apple pie. Her entire outlook on Faith did a serious one eighty."

"Because she me—met another Faith who was different. Make all the excuses you want but it still doesn't justify wh—what you're doing."

Xander glanced down in thought. Perhaps she was right. "Well if we don't do a spell to find out if Buffy is okay, we should at least do one to make sure whatever Rack did didn't…tear a hole in the atmosphere or something. We could be losing precious air at this very moment."

"I won't feel comfortable until I know Buffy is one hundred percent Buffy." Willow said honestly. "If—if she is then I'll leave it all alone. I'll even apologize to Faith for being a—a nasty nelly. But I just don't think she is."

"Sounds like wishful thinking to me." Anya related, turning to go back into the kitchen. "You're jealous that Faith will become Buffy's new best friend, and not just her bed buddy."

Willow growled lowly. "I am not."

The ex demon lingered in the entryway. "Okay. What are you going to do if the spell comes back normal? Or what if Buffy and Faith end up falling deeply and madly in love with each other? Are you gonna keep coming up with reason after reason as to why they should not be together?" She blinked. "Did you do this with Xander too? Did you try to convince him that I'd put the whammy on him and forced him to be with me?"

"Not…really. I was concerned at first but everything turned out okay." She murmured. "You're all engaged an—and you didn't hurt him like I once thought."

"Then why would Faith hurt Buffy?" Anya questioned, seemingly genuinely interested. "We aren't that different you know. Granted I was a demon when I maimed all those men, but I _chose_  to become a vengeance demon just like she  _chose_  to become a raging lunatic once upon a time. Cut the girl some slack. I hear you  _can_  teach an old dog new tricks."

The red head pulled at her necklace. "It's just one teeny spell…"

"That's how it starts." Annoyed, Tara grabbed up her coat and headed for the front door. "I—I'll see you guys later." In a flash of fabric she was gone.

"Tara! Tara wait!" Willow ran after her.

Xander exhaled, wetting his lips. "So…that went well."

"Oh yes. If by well you mean totally horrible. And just think how it's gonna be when Buffy learns you thought she was crazy." His fiancé mused, then clapped when a ding sounded. "Yay! My popcorn is done."

~*~

There was a distinct difference in the way Faith slayed; Buffy had always noticed this from day one. She was wilder with her methods, throwing wider punches and not wasting time trying to come up with witty puns. Which was unusual because punning just made it more interesting. Taunting the vampire before you killed it seemed like the right thing to do. But getting back on topic—it was nice to see her in action again. She had always loved to dust vamps and it showed all over her face.

However she was more determined this time around, as if she had something to prove. Maybe she did. Buffy had sorta expected her to hold back a little but that hadn't been the case. She'd jumped into the fray with barrels blazing, and it was satisfying in an odd way to see that she hadn't lost her touch. It was also cool to watch her in combat and to actually be able to appreciate her moves. In the past that'd been hard to do considering most of the moves were being used to kick her in the face.

Shaking herself out of her dazed staring, she ducked a punch from the vampire that she was fighting. He looked like one of the local college students who'd obviously seen better days…what with being undead and all.

There were three vamps in total, two guys and a girl. They appeared to be rotating between the two Slayers, trying to find a weakness, trying to see if two on one worked any better than singles. So far however they were losing, taking serious kicks to the face and head.

The female delivered a round house to Faith's temple but she blocked it and swept her feet from under her. She stomped in her stomach and looked back just in time to elbow the bald monster in his bumpy nose. She then yanked out her stake and plunged it into the girl's chest, flipping back her hair as she poofed into dust.

Buffy caught her gaze and they smiled at each other. She didn't wanna be all dwelly, but watching the brunette kick ass one minute and then go all hair commercial the next was extremely distracting. But in that totally awesome way that usually led to smoochies. Still something was a bit…off…though she couldn't put her finger on what. Even in the past they'd worked up some nice sexual tension—that she'd denied—but it was slow going tonight.

Not that just watching Faith in motion wasn't enough to make her tingle because it was. But it wasn't the reaction she'd been expecting. She'd almost figured that things would be so hot it would take all of her willpower not to hump Faith near the  _Alpert_  tomb. Maybe it was cause they were just getting back into the saddle. Maybe they needed time to work up to how it'd been before, minus the bad stuff.

"Hello!" The vamp in front of her yelled. "Are we gonna fight or are you gonna spend the entire night checkin' out her boobs?"

Buffy balked, jamming her fist up under his chin to knock him off balance. "How do you know I was looking at her boobs unless you too were looking at them? That's sexual harassment!" She struck out with her foot, connecting with his back. "You could go to jail for that."

"You're insane!" He yelped, attempting to hit her in the eye.

She shoved him into the side of a mausoleum, thrusting her stake into his chest. "Matter of opinion." She turned away as he disintegrated to check on her partner.

Faith telegraphed the punch meant for her face by the bald vampire, her fist colliding with his stomach. Buffy grinned but it was quickly wiped from her pretty face when the brunette stumbled back, grabbing her forehead. The vampire took full advantage of her distraction and plowed into her, shoving her so hard that she fell into a standing headstone and cracked it off its axis. She rolled onto the grass, unmoving.

"Faith!"

Before the blonde could run to her aid, she blinked at seeing Spike literally jump out of nowhere to toss Baldy into a bush. He then yanked up a shovel and broke it across his thigh, twirling so that the spiked end jabbed into the baddie's heart. After he was good and dead, he turned to the girl on the ground, who looked up at him with an annoyed expression. However she took the hand he offered moments later, letting him pull her to her feet.

Buffy hurried over and steadied the ex-con, holding at her waist. "Oh my god, are you alright? What happened?"

"Ah…" She winced as the blonde touched a blooming bruise at her hairline. "I'm good, B. Guess—guess I'm just a little rusty ya know? Haven't been at this gig for a while."

"Are you sure?" Inquired the oldest Slayer. "You grabbed your head right before…"

Spike took this time to speak up. "Looks like she got dizzy or somethin'."

Faith glared at him. "I'm fine, aight?" Pause. "Why'd you help me anyway? I know you don't like me. That feelin' is pretty much mutual."

He pulled out his cigarettes, shaking the pack. "Yeah but Buffy would be sore if anythin' happened to ya."

She snorted, shaking out her shoulders. "Figures."

"Thanks Spike." Buffy mused, still fretting over the brunette. "C'mon we should get you home. A long bath will help your back." She hooked her arm though the brunette's and began to lead her away.

A moment or two passed before she said, "You were awesome tonight. Guess slaying kinda comes back to ya huh?"

"Just like ridin' a biker." Faith replied idly. "Felt good to get a real work out though. To not have to hold back on somethin'."

"Well if it's deserving punchin' bags you want Sunnydale is the place." The blonde chuckled. "Dracula even showed up once."

"No way! Like from the movies?" She exclaimed. "Was he all black cape and hot like Gary Oldman?"

Buffy giggled, lacing their fingers together. "Not…really. Well he did have the cape but he wasn't that attractive. He did totally thrall me though and turned Xander into his butt monkey. He said he wanted to teach me what it meant to be a Slayer."

"Did he?"

"It's hard to say really. After we did the spell to invoke the first Slayer, I found myself huntin' instead of patrolin'. He picked up on all of that and said I was a killer."

"Heh. Take it from someone who has rode that bus, you ain't a killer."

"Maybe. But he was a decidin' factor in me wantin' to train again like I used to. I mean there is a lot we don't know about our powers…"

"I guess. Havin' a Watcher was never my strong point though. But I guess I could give it a try."

"Cool. Um, have I mentioned how glad I am that you're here? With me?"

"It's good to be here. With you."

Buffy smiled lightly. "So you went back your old place…"

The brunette nodded, her brows set in a scowl. "Yeah. It was weird but I dunno, seems stupid to just let the place go to waste. And the Mayor's dead so…not like he'll be poppin' in for a visit. Think I might rearrange shit and stay there. Then, ya know, we'd have a place to chill…"

_And have alone time. Alone time is good. Alone time with Faith is good_. "I'll help you unpack and stuff if you want."

Faith grinned at her. "Sweet. Wanna get a job too. Can't keep spongin' off Angel like he's my dad or some shit. But it's like what the fuck can I do? I'm not really good at anythin' that doesn't involve punchin'."

"I had that same problem when I considered getting a job." The other girl related. "We can troll the want ads together."

The ex-con nodded again, drifting into her thoughts. "Sure."

Buffy glanced up at her, allowing a small smile to filter through.  _We can do lots of stuff…together_.  _Together is good._

_~*~_

_"Shit…" Faith hissed as she lowered herself into the tub, the bruise on her back flaring because of the hot water. She leaned back and sighed, resting her head to the tiled wall. Last time she'd been in the Summers' bathroom, she'd been wearin' Buffy like a Halloween costume. Good times._

As the water slowly worked its magic on her sore muscles, she frowned and stared ahead. True she hadn't been in the game for a while, but it just seemed wrong that some punk ass vampire could beat her. And a normal one—not even some cloven dude. Not that he'd beat her though. It had been more like a schoolyard shove really.

It was what happened before that irked her. Bleach head had been right…she'd gotten a case of the dizzies. And outta damn nowhere too. One minute she'd been fine and the next, everythin' was spinnin' out of control. Much like her entire life but this time it was literal more so than figurative.

So what the hell was happenin' to her? First the cold and now woozy head. What was next? Hopefully nothin'. The last thing she needed was to be seen defective by those who desperately wanted her to be. Yeah she shouldn't be worried about what they thought, but it was hard not to. Especially considerin' how Buffy had went to bat for her. Believed in her reformation enough that she went behind her friends' backs to get her outta the slammer. Could've did like major harm to their relationships.

'Sides if she was supposed to be makin' up for the badness, stayin' outta trouble seemed a good way to do that. So she'd play it straight, keep  _whatever_  to herself just in case it all turned out to be nothin'. After all she didn't wanna be the girl who cried wolf when there were nothin' but sheep around.


	24. From Bad…

~Chapter Twenty-Four: From Bad…~

For the next two days, Buffy helped Faith rearrange her apartment and put everything in its place. Whatever brought back weird memories or caused her to think of nothing but the Mayor was tossed out with the trash. After battling a few huge spiders and leaving a plate of  _Meow_   _Mix_  out for whatever stray cat that chose to come around, they were finally done. Thankfully the walls were in good condition so painting would not be necessary.

They'd also checked out the want ads but nothing really jumped out at either of them. Faith especially didn't wanna work anywhere where perky people might make her punch a hole in something, and Buffy didn't wanna work somewhere that would have her smelling weird at the end of the day. Idly the blonde considered going back to school but it was just something that was on the table.

Buffy watched with an amused expression as Faith tumbled face first onto her blue couch, stretching out with a groan. Things were going great between them—it all seemed really natural to be honest. They'd have long conversations about the most inane things and without any of the hostility of the past. She'd even got the brunette to have dinner with the Scoobies, and once Xander tasted her spicy chili he couldn't stop raving about how good it was. Which was a feat in and of itself because she'd totally expected him to claim it was poisoned.

She knew though that things weren't clear in the group, but it was a good start. Maybe the more time they spent around her the more they'd come to realize that she wasn't a thundering loony.

At least Dawn and Giles were already all right with things. Having them make a conscious effort really took some of the weight off her shoulders.

"I hope you aren't coming down with the flu or anything." The blonde related as she sat down on the sofa. "You have a few signs."

Faith arched a brow, turning onto her back. "Like what?"

"Well…you've been really tired the past twenty four hours and lackin' of the energy." She replied, scrutinizing. "I was sick once, like major so it can happen. Slayers can get colds."

Snorting, the brunette grabbed the other girl around the waist and hauled her closer. Buffy took the hint and stretched out with her, smiling when strong arms wrapped around her waist. She cuddled up, spread the duvet cover over both of them and tucked her head under Faith's chin. "Also you've got a case of the goosebumps. We should get you like some medicine or somethin'. I hear  _TheraFlu_  is good."

The ex-con made a face. "That stuff always tastes fucken horrible, man. "Sides I've never been sick in my life, even before I got the Slayer juice."

"Uh huh. But if you don't do some bud nipping now, you might end up in the hospital." The blonde traced her jaw with her fingertips. "Or sick in bed lookin' all gross with disgustin' stuff comin' outta both ends."

"Thanks for the poetry." Faith mused with a mocking tone. "I'm touched that ya give a crap."

Buffy poked her in the stomach with a little frown. "Are you gonna be sayin' things like that five years from now?"

"…we're gonna be together five years from now?"

"Well, yeah. I—I mean I don't know for sure but I hope so."

"Why?"

"That's a weird question. I think most people want relationships to last. And you know this was never—it's not casual flingy."

"Dunno. Guess I thought we'd hang for a week or two and then you'd tell me to hit the bricks."

"That's guarded Faith talking, but I understand where you are coming from. After Riley and I broke up, I realized that the problem was me. I—I'm weird or damaged or something. But that doesn't stop me from wanting someone."

"And this Alter Faith made ya want me…"

"She opened my eyes to the person you were inside. The girl who hid behind being tough to cover the sensitivity and fragile shell. I'm glad she did. Faith…I didn't just wake up one day decidin' that dating you would be exciting or something I'd never did before. I—there was planniness."

"Like the dreams and shit?"

"Right. Those opened the door, and my curiosity made me walk right through. I couldn't shake what I was feeling—what I'd  _started_  feeling when I saw how different Alter Faith had turned out. Then I did a spirit walk kinda jobby and it put things into perspective. Forced me to face feelings I'd buried under a crap load of dirt."

"Hm."

"What about you? Why say yes? Why…wanna be with me after what I did to you?"

The brunette slicked her tongue across her bottom lip. "Remember when you were tryin' to be my friend and I was like whatever? Or how like even though Angel turned into a psycho killer but cha still took him back? It's kinda like that I think." She focused on the ceiling. "I haven't had many friends, not like real ones anyway. Bitches just wanted somethin' and when I couldn't give it, they bounced. Not that I cared. Didn't start that til I met you. I know if I hadn't fucked up we'd prob have fought off the Mayor together and been aight. So even though we were fucken wicked to each other, there's somethin' there that makes me get over it…to get to you."

Touched, Buffy angled her face down and kissed her lips softly. She wondered how long it would continue to amaze her—Faith being all profound. "And it doesn't scare you? Being with me?"

She snorted, but her eyes betrayed her. "No—okay maybe a little. Not cause I think ya might deck me, but cause I've never been  _hurt_  before cause I've never stuck around long enough to be."

A beat. "I'm not gonna hurt you."

She shrugged as if it didn't matter. "You don't know that. Shit happens. I didn't come to Sunnydale back in the day with plans to screw up ya life. It was just how the dice landed."

The other girl shook her head and rose up a little so that she could gaze into the brunette's brown eyes. "No, Faith. It's gonna be you and me against whatever the Hellmouth or life has to throw at us. We might argue an—and fight, but we'll always find our way back to each other." Her cheeks colored slightly. "It's…how it's seemed to happen anyway. Granted you stole my body but you came back."

Faith snickered. "For revenge."

"To _may_ to, to _mah_ to." Was her flip reply. "I don't know what the future might bring, but I think we're gonna be okay. After our crazy relationship, we have nowhere to go but up."

"I guess." The ex-con sighed. "Though I'm more interested in goin' down."

Buffy rolled her green eyes playfully. "I walked right into that, didn't I?"

"Yup." She winked lecherously. "I dunno—if we can make it through a month then I'll stop bein' all weird about shit. Subject change but what was the deal with Red and Tara? They looked frosty the other night."

"I think they'd had an argument or something. At least that is the reaction I got." Stifling a yawn, the blonde twisted a strand of brown hair around her finger. "They don't really fight that often so I guess it must've been a big deal."

Creating those lines between her brows whenever she scowled, Faith murmured. "Bet it had somethin' to do with me. Red probably wants to turn me into a gerbil or somethin'."

Buffy laughed, nuzzling into the downy softness of her hair and inhaling. It smelled like peaches. "Actually you'd be a rat. But nah who knows what it was about? Perhaps something magic related."

"Heh or you diggin' the chicks is comin' between 'em. She wants to leave Tara for you."

"I highly doubt that. Will--she'll come around to things. She always does."

"First time for everythin' though, Blondie. Case in point."

"True but it's  _Willow_. Willow always comes through."

~*~

The water ran hot down Faith's naked back, making her skin flare bright red. Her forehead was pressed to the wet tile, her eyes closed and her mouth open. She sucked in the humid air that the shower was causing before turning her face up to the nozzle, her lashes fluttering as they were drenched along with the rest of her. She sighed in relief, not giving a damn that she'd been in there for nearly thirty minutes.

She would've liked to have lied and said everythin' was fine. That she felt normal inside…but that wasn't the case. Truth was she had to actually push herself durin' patrolin' and her energy hadn't returned. And the cold—the fucken chill that made her bones rattle was still hangin' around like a bad habit. Maybe it was just a stupid flu bug though she highly doubted it. It felt deeper than the sniffles. It felt like she was turnin' inside out. Becomin' somethin' else.

And like the emotional cut off weirdo she was, she couldn't figure out how to tell anyone. Or how to ask for help. Buffy already had enough on her plate tryin' to smooth over the rough edges her arrival had caused; she didn't need to be knee deep in malaria or whatever she had. It tickled her in a way, actually givin' a damn about what B had to go through. Either she  _was_ more mature, or she was out of her mind. Possibly both.

Raking a hand through her soaked locks, she exhaled and finally turned the water off. Stepping out of the tub, she wrapped in a fluffy towel and gazed at herself in the mirror, happy that at least she didn't look as fucked up as she felt. She dried off and dressed quickly, then jogged downstairs and into the kitchen.

Buffy stood at the island with a knife in hand, cutting up cucumbers for a salad that she was making. Faith admired her for a moment, especially her cute little round ass. It was the kind that begged to be smacked. But were they  _there_  yet? Snorting, she closed the space between them and pecked a dramatic kiss to the side of the blonde's neck. Good idea cause now she could totally see down her shirt. How awesome were boobs? Especially Buffy's boobs?

"Sup?" She asked, nibbling up to her ear.

The blonde giggled. "I'm making dinner, and I thought I would start with ruffage."

Faith nodded, her fingers tickling under the other girl's blouse. "And…the main course?"

"Could that have sounded  _any_  dirtier?" Buffy smirked, shivering when the fingers moved to her bra cups. "Not to mention you're kinda feelin' me up like a Christmas ham."

"Like you mind."

"I might. I'm a very fragile and innocent person. You could be tainting my delicate sensibilities."

"Is that a fancy way for sayin' ya gettin' horny?"

Snickering, the blonde turned her head and captured Faith's lips before she could step back. They kissed slowly for a few moments until the sound of someone knocking on the door forced them to break apart. Stifling a yawn, the brunette offered to get it. She strolled into the living room and pulled it open, blinking at who stood on the other side.

"Angel?"

The handsome vampire with a soul stared at her intensely, draped in his trademark black trench coat. "Hello Faith."

Trying to keep her expression stoic but failing, she stepped to the side and invited him in. She couldn't help but wonder what the hell he wanted? He already knew there was no big bad in the Dale. That she was walkin' free cause of B. Unless he had somethin' that needed some serious killin' and needed her help. Though with the way she was feelin' these days, she'd probably be more harm than good. "So yo, what brings ya to my side of town?"

He glanced around slowly as if remembering the house. "Um, is Buffy here?"

Clearing her throat, she nodded. "Yo B, we uh—we got a visitor."

A moment later Buffy rounded the corner but stopped short, her eyes as wide as they could possibly get. "Angel. Wh—what are you doing here?"

He shoved his hands into his pockets. "I'm here to see Faith. And you too. I…wanted to make sure that she made it here alright since I hadn't heard from her."

"You could have just called, man. Ya didn't have to make a whole trip." Faith smiled, arching a brow. "But I'm diggin' that so…what's the real reason you're here?"

Angel grinned; she knew him pretty well. "Cordelia had an interesting vision…dealing with the Hellmouth."

"Not again." The blonde groaned. "I thought when we blew up the school that was the end of that. Stupid center for mystical convergence."

Glaring at her, he wet his lips. "She seems to think it's gonna open again, but she is not sure when. However the one thing we do know…is that the spell you did is the cause."

She blinked, totally blindsided. "What? I was told that spell was harmless."

"Well I guess you were lied to. You should have never broken Faith outta jail."

"How can you say that after—how can you say that?"

"Maybe because I'm not selfish."

"Excuse me?" She snapped, folding her arms over her chest. "What is  _that_  supposed to mean?"

Faith held up the 'time out' signal, shaking her head. "Guys we already deja'd this vu a while ago, remember? And as hot and flatterin' as it is to have ya fightin' over me, I'd rather ya didn't."

The vampire stood straighter. "We're not fighting. We are simply discussing how once again Buffy just goes off and does whatever the hell she wants while not considering the consequences."

The girl in question gawked at him. "How dare you! I totally considered every consequence! Like the major one that happens to people when they are stabbed—death!"

"Faith is a Slayer. She can handle herself." He pointed out. "You knew that. Why don't we just be honest here? This is about your…crush."

Buffy stammered for a moment. "Ho—wh—how do you know about that?"

His dark eyes darted to the couch, his jaw tight. "I…started to suspect something when you kept wanting to go visit her. And then when she showed up at the hotel, we both figured that it was something  _you'd_  done. Doesn't take a genius to know why you did it." Pause. "Even if she hadn't told me."

"Why don't we just be honest here? You have a problem with me and Faith." She replied, accusingly. "What? Do you think we're gonna start hittin' each other again? That I'm gonna throw her off another roof."

"Maybe." He growled. "Or maybe I think what you've done could seriously damage her rehabilitation."

She snorted. "Well you'll be happy to know she hasn't killed a single person since she got here. Oh except for some vampires but technically they were already dead."

Faith could feel a headache coming on. Worst time too. What if she had to play referee? "Would you two tone it down? Jesus…I know I'm a mess but I am an adult now. I don't need nobody to hold my hand."

The blonde sighed, idly smoothing down her hair. "He started it not that I am really surprised. It was the same way with Riley. Everything is nifty as long as I'm alone and miserable, but the moment I wanna be with someone, here he comes to swoop in and save me. Like I need to be saved."

Angel strolled over to the mantle as if gathering his thoughts. "I didn't come here to  _save_   _you_. I'm here for Faith. I'm here to make sure that she is all right, and to deliver the message about the Hellmouth."

As they continued to bicker back and forth, the brunette moved over to the couch and sat down. She felt like the kid in the middle of arguin' parents or some shit. But in a weird way it was cool—havin' them both wanna protect her. Not somethin' she was used to. Not somethin' she was one hundred percent sure she really wanted. Bein' all guarded and stand offy was a hard habit she was gonna have to break.

Big picture though; the Hellmouth was gonna open. She remembered what that nasty son of a bitch had looked like the one and only time she fought it. Slimy with three heads and not one of 'em friendly. Left bruises that took days to heal. Not to mention that was the night she'd deflowered Xander. Now there was a memory she'd rather forget.

Tilting her head to the side, she leaned back and watched Buffy and Angel. Maybe it was stupid but, she was kinda surprised that Angel was wigged over her  _whatever_  with B. Though considerin' their history perhaps she shouldn't be. Their thing had been and most likely still was epic. Maybe she was a fool to even try to step up to the plate when he'd just end up winnin' the game in the end.

Frowning, she itched at her neck. "Yo, B. Mind if I have a word alone with Angel for a few?"

Buffy stopped mid-sentence and nodded. "Be my guest. I have a dinner to make anyway." Turning, she stalked from the room.

Faith rubbed a hand across her mouth, motioning to the vacant spot beside her. The vampire sat and she shifted to face him. "Angel…you know you're like a big brother to me, right? If it weren't for you who knows where I'd be. Probably dead or in some fucked up mushroom trip." He chuckled softly and she continued. "I—I'm sorry if this…ya know. It's fucked up, ain't it?"

He gave a blasé shrug. "I'm not sure that I know what you are talking about."

_Yeah_   _right_. "Dude, I'm scopin' ya ex. Don't act like you don't care cause I know ya do." Pause. "Are ya like, pissed at me?"

"No. Buffy is free to see whomever she wants. She's  _been_  free for a long time now. I suppose I'm just surprised that she picked you. No—not that you're not great but you get what I mean." He explained slowly. "With everything you two put each other through, it's odd you'd wanna date. And I understand that you wanna make amends to her for what you did, so I'm just hoping this isn't about that."

"Nope. Well yeah, in a way, but it ain't all about that." She replied. "Shocked you nver realized I had a thing for ya girl back in the day."

"Well you trying to turn me evil threw me off." He joked with a smile. "I'm not questioning the validity of your…whatever…I just wanna make sure it's not interfering with all the work you've done to become who you are now. That you aren't forgetting…"

"About the people I killed?" She supplied. "Not really an issue, yo. I'll be honest with ya, Angel. Apart of me is freaked at bein' out but the other part is jazzed. I get to help people—make up for becomin' psycho bitch. Fight the good fight like you do."

"If you ever need help or someone talk too, you know you can still come to me."

"Thanks. I'm sorry if—if this is hurtin' you. Really."

"I'm okay. Contrary to popular belief I just want Buffy to be happy. And I want you to be happy too. If you two make each other happy then, two birds with one stone and all that. I just don't agree with the way she went about springing you."

She chuckled and patted his shoulder. They weren't the huggin' type. "B was never patient or practical. Still I mean, it makes me feel more optimistic about  _us_ , with how she went about doin' things ya know? For me. Never figured she'd care again."

Angel nodded consciously. "She can be full of surprises."

_Word_. "So, this Hellmouth crap. What's the deal?"

He appeared thankful for the subject change. "Cordelia had a vague vision but she definitely saw it opening. She said that the magic used to get you out of jail, unlocked some kind of mystical lock while doing its job. Its intent wasn't to unleash the beast, but something got mixed up I guess." He sighed deeply. "If I were you I'd try to stop it from happening though. You remember how wild and horrible that thing is."

"Yeah." She made a face. "This sounds like a job for the super friends though. I'm sure Red can whip up some mojo to stuff Cujo back into its hole. Maybe we'll check out the school too. See if anythin' is stirrin'."

"Good idea." Twiddling his thumbs for a moment, he then stood. "I guess I should be getting back to L.A."

Faith got up as well, meeting his gaze. Did he have to look  _so_  broody? "Thanks for relayin' the news, and for checkin' up on me."

"No problem." He said, heading towards the door. "Tell Buffy—tell her that I said good-bye."

Watching as he disappeared out of the door and into the night, she ran a hand through her almost dry hair. Man she felt kinda torn over everythin'. Happy and low at the same time. And kinda sick.

Groaning, she scowled. "B, where's that damn  _TheraFlu_?"


	25. …To Worse

~Chapter Twenty-Five:…To Worse~

Sunnydale High School stood charred and broken, with many of the upstairs rooms falling in on themselves. The once crisp white paint of the outside was now covered in blackened ash, with several vines winding their way through windows and doorways. A yellow rope of police tape had been strung up around the building to keep out trespassers, as well as a sign with stark red writing warning that things could collapse at any moment. But when it was your job to save the world, you often had to put aside your own safety.

Not to mention Buffy and her gang had already walked the destroyed halls once and nothing bad had happened. What could a second time hurt?

She'd explained their new predicament at Giles' house; giving them all of the information that Angel had given her. Which wasn't exactly a lot. So far they knew the Hellmouth would open but they didn't know when or how. On a scale of one to ten in the helpful department, he was a three. Two and a half considering he'd basically blamed her and her over-actiness…which could be looked at as the right thing to do but she liked to focus on things that didn't deal with her in trouble.

Anyway needless to say her friends hadn't been happy with the latest development. She could feel their judgy eyes on her the entire time she tried to answer their many questions. Willow looked especially upset, but everything could have been avoided if she'd performed the spell herself. But the fact was, it was done and so the only thing left to do was stop the Hellmouth from wreaking bloody havoc on the world.

Hence waiting until it got dark to scope out the school.

Buffy was  _very_  aware how of the serious stuff was. Stopping mayhem and death were totally at the top of her list when it came to keeping the beasty portal closed. She had a feeling her friends thought she was still looking through her rose colored  _Faith_  glasses. But now that Faith was safe and sound outta jail, she was back in focus mode. And no matter what they tried to say, two Slayers were better than one. The mortality rate alone should go down at least a few points with them patrolling the streets.

Dressed in dark jeans and a pink fitted sweater, the blonde made a face as she slowly pushed open the broken down door of her former place of learning. Faith entered behind her wearing jeans and a gray long sleeved top, her expression obviously displeased with what she was seeing. With them were Willow and Xander; the only way Dawn would stay away was if Tara agreed to stay with her. Anya chose the same because she didn't wanna get the soot smell stuck in her clothes, and Giles still had a shop to run.

"I wish they would just tear this place down. Cover it in cement and turn it into a parking lot…hopefully for the new boutique full of stylish outfits that they just built." Buffy remarked. She took Faith's hand and entwined their fingers together.

"Memory lane…" The brunette replied, ducking to avoid a large hanging light fixture. "Can't believe you blew up the entire fucken place, B. That was pretty bad ass."

She smiled, listening as something creaked in the distance. "Yeah well half of that was with your help. I doubt Mayor Crazy would have followed me in here if it hadn't been for you."

"What didja say to him anyway?"

"Oh um. Nothin'. It—it's not important."

Faith shrugged, then glanced down at the burnt carcass on the moldy floor. "Wicked. What the hell did he turn into?"

"A giant snake thing." The blonde scrunched up her nose. "And he had all these vamps as like soldiers. It was a pretty epic battle, and one hell of a way to graduate."

She nodded, still staring at the remains. "Sounds like it…"

Buffy kissed her cheek gently, picking up on her mood. "Are you okay? I—I mean I know he—that he meant something to you."

The ex-con sighed deeply but her face never shifted from stoic. "Five by five. He was aight when I was…but I'm not anymore so it's cool. 'Sides, I got Angel in my corner now and he's old enough to be like, my great great great great great great grandfather. And he's not evil so that's a plus."

"I'm in your corner too." Pause. "Also, me, not evil."

"So…" Willow said interrupting. "Shouldn't we be heading to the library?"

Buffy glanced at her friends. "Um, Xander why don't you and Faith go on ahead. I…wanna talk to Will for a few."

Xander nodded and started walking, letting the brunette fall in step with him. "Not gonna push me in the giant hole, are ya? That was a joke by the way."

She laughed, flashing her dimples. "No worries man. I'm on the 'no kill' patch. It's like the nicotine patch but with less cravins."

As they disappeared around the corner, the blonde smoothed a hand over her cheek. She pulled at her sweater and faced her best friend. "Look I—I know you're still mad but could you at least cut Faith a little slack? None of this is her fault."

Willow's eyes were round and bright. "I only said we should find the library."

"Yeah but, you've been glaring. There was glaring."

"I—well I can't help it, Buffy. She—she has you acting very un-Buffy like."

"Okay so I made a semi stupid mistake that could cause the end of the world. But I had to…"

"Why? Because you like her now?"

"Yes. I failed her once. I stabbed her and was prepared to feed her to Angel like a snack cake. Wasn't I actin'  _un_ - _Buffy_   _like_  then too?"

"Yeah but you loved Angel and didn't want him to die. Do—do you love Faith?"

"Not…yet. Though who knows what might happen? I just—I like her enough to want her safe."

The read head smiled a little bit. "It's just…weird. You liking a girl and that girl being Faith. May—maybe if I'd been in the alter world I'd understand it better. Did I understand it there?"

Buffy chuckled lightly. "Kinda. You helped me get to the bottom of everything." A beat." I know Faith wouldn't be the first or even the gazillion choice for you, but I can't just pretend that I don't have these feelings. I mean I could but I honestly don't want to. Getting to know her and having her here means a lot to me. I hope you can understand that."

"I do. I just don't wanna see you get hurt." She frowned slightly. "An—and are you sure that  _this_  is…say…normal? That the magics involved to send you there and get you home didn't alter you somehow?"

Tilting her head to the side, the blonde blinked. "Um…what? Why would you think that? How is this really any different than me wanting to date a vampire? Neither made sense but they turned out okay. And at least Faith won't lose her soul if we have sex."

Willow wet her lips. "Magic can be very powerful, and there are spells for everything as you know. Are—are you sure your feelings are—well—yours?"

"You think a spell has me feeling this way?" She snorted, folding her arms over her chest. "You know if I were sleeping with Spike, then you could question me all you wanted. Hell I'd be questioning myself, and then promptly checking into a psych ward. How can I convince you that all of this is on the up and up?"

The Wicca cleared her throat, as if encouraging herself to speak. "Let me do a spell. Sorta like a—a test to make sure that things are—are even stevens."

Buffy rolled her eyes; she couldn't believe her best friend! But if it put an end to all of the chilly behavior and made them a team again, she'd concede. "Fine. Knock yourself out. But when whatever shows that I am one hundred percent of sound Buffy, I never wanna hear about this again."

"Deal." Willow smiled and it was genuine.

Without another word, both girls continued to their destination. They found Xander and Faith peering down onto the expansive hole at the top level of the library, surrounded by burnt books and toppled shelves. The brunette picked up a rock and tossed it down, seemingly trying to figure out if it had a bottom. She scuffed at the floor with her boots, her brows narrowed in concentration.

The blonde grinned and just watched her for a few seconds, feeling her pulse speed up. It was a nice feeling, once she used to experience when Angel looked at her or when she'd zone out thinking about Riley's arms. But now it was happening because of the whole package, especially the smile. While Faith was beyond gorgeous and built like a brick house (whatever that really meant), her eyes and her smile were just so beautiful. When she'd get truly happy and her lips would curl up at the sides, it was like seeing a striking sunrise.

"Smells like burnt eggs in here." Faith curled her fingers into her belt loops. "How do we figure out when this bitch is gonna rise up?"

"Everything looks quiet." Xander itched at his hair. "Well actually everything looks black and crusty, but I don't hear any rumblings."

"Wish Cordelia could have been more specific with her vision thingie." Buffy huffed. "For all we know it could open tomorrow or when we're ninety."

"Well, we'll roll down here in our wheelchairs and bust some heads." The ex-con mused. "Can't believe this used to be the library, yo. Was Giles wicked pissed to lose all his volumes and texts?"

Willow stepped over a desk that had been launched through a wall. "I think he'd already took the most important ones home. I'm sure he missed his job more though."

The only male grinned. "Aww over there is where we sat and saved the world. And over there is where I was locked in a cage when I was a hyena. Memories."

"Man, I'd forgotten some of the stuff that happened here. Forgotten or repressed…one of those." The older Slayer replied. "I have total nostalgic face right now. I know things were tense but, I—I kinda miss it. High school was fairly easy compared to the real world."

Xander rocked back on his heels. "I wish I could go back in time and tell sixteen year old Xander not to worry, that he will eventually have sex one day."

Faith snickered, dragging a hand through her hair. "Yeah and I'd tell sixteen year old Faith to steer clear of sixteen year old Xander. And to ya know, pay more attention at the docks." She cracked a grin. "Now what?"

Climbing her way up to the ruined level, Willow peeped into the hole, then held her palm over it. She closed her eyes, trying to sense something. "It is warmer than usual. I feel…darkness but that's a no brainer. This thing is chocked full of evil heebie jeebies. But there are vibes." Pause. "I could probably whip something up that would tell us when it'll open."

"Sounds good to me." Her best friend remarked. "Anything that gives us a heads up will be greatly appreciated. Meh let's go. I'm gonna be washin' the smell of charred wallpaper outta my clothes for weeks."

Buffy and Willow turned to go, but were jolted back to attention when Xander screamed and dived into the massive crater, his feet scuffling for an anchor as more and more of his waist slipped forward. They ran to help him and Buffy figured he must have tripped, until she noticed Faith was missing. With Willow on one side and she on the other, they discovered a nearly unconscious Faith dangling into the cavern, her wrist being held securely in Xander's fist.

Reaching and grabbing her arm, the blonde used her impressive strength to drag her back to the edge and over. "What happened?"

"I—I dunno she just—her eyes rolled back into her head and she fell." Her friend stammered. "I—I just lunged and tried to catch her."

"Good job." Buffy pulled the ex-con into her lap, pushing hair out of her face. "Faith? Faith, can you hear me?" She slapped lightly at her cheek, receiving nothing but muffled groans. "Oh god, what's wrong with her?"

The Wicca checked her pulse, capturing her wrist between her fingers. "Her—her pulse is weak." And then she was pushing up the sleeve of her shirt. "Buffy…look."

Underneath Faith's skin were her veins, but they were tinted the color of charcoal, winding up towards her elbow like super thin snakes.

The blonde could detect spikes of fear prickling her flesh. "She's freezing! C'mon, we gotta take her to Giles. He—he'll know what to do."

~*~

They laid the cataleptic brunette onto Giles' couch, and Buffy covered her with a blanket. She then sat beside her and pressed a warm cloth to her forehead, calling her name, trying to get her to wake up. Her eyes would open for a few seconds but they'd be unfocused before closing once again. It was obvious that this wasn't a mere flu bug. Something was seriously wrong with Faith and it made her seriously upset. There was no way she had gotten her back into her life just to lose her again. And this time for good.

Dawn leaned over the sofa. "Maybe we should take her to a hospital."

"No. She wouldn't want that." Buffy whispered. "Giles, what's going on? What's causin' her veins to be like this?"

With a sigh he cleaned his glasses. "Well if I didn't know any better, I'd say this was a bloodstone vengeance spell."

"Hey, that's what Amy's mom did to Buffy." Willow spoke up. "Bu—but who'd wanna hurt Faith? And…how'd they get something or hers?"

The Watcher shook his head. "It can't be a vengeance spell because it took too long to materialize. If it had been a true bloodstone, it would have hit her immediately and eradicated her immune system. She'd be dead already."

A sigh. "So what is it? I mean, what's causing all of this?"

His brows furrowed. "What can you tell me, precisely, about the spell that uh—uh Rack gentleman did for you?"

She thought hard. "I—he didn't exactly let me stay and watch. He just said it would be taken care of. Oh! He did touch my chest and…he said I had to give a little to get a little." She bit her bottom lip. "There were red sparks and he said he could feel Faith's essence—that it was keeping me from being whole."

And Giles was off, heading straight for his books as if something rung a bell.

Taking the washcloth off Faith's forehead, Dawn replaced it with a warmer one. "I'm sure she's gonna be fine, Buffy. Slayers are tough. An—and they heal fast."

Her sister didn't reply. It was easier to simply nod and continue fussing over her fellow Slayer. Why didn't she catch that something was wrong sooner? Why didn't she pay more attention? Oh because she was too busy making mooneyes and staring at her breasts!

_Great going Buffy_.  _This is all my fault._

The only option? Fixing it of course, anyway possible.

Minutes ticked by like hours before Giles finally returned, and he did not look like he had good news. "I cannot be certain, but I think the spell he used to free Faith is called  _Effrego_   _quod_ _resarcio_. It means roughly to reconstruct."

"What does that have to do with this?" Xander inquired.

"From the look of Faith's veins, I would say that something is attacking her blood. I dare think this…Rack fellow used  _effrego_   _quod_   _resarcio_  to in a sense, take Faith apart and put her back together again, but on the outside. He used your bond as a Slayer as the source—anything of less power would have left her in pieces and wouldn't have been strong enough for the mending process." He explained thoroughly. "However something must have went wrong. It restored her, but it almost appears as if something inside of her is now rejecting itself."

Buffy stared at him, afraid that he knew very well what was 'rejecting itself' but that he didn't wanna say. "Giles, please. I—I can take it. Whatever it is."

Exhaling, he perched on the table in front of her. "He used your Slayer connection to break and repair her. It now looks as if her body is rejecting the connection. Trying to exterminate it as if it were a disease."

A roaring filled her ears, and for a moment she felt as if she were in a bad dream. "But—but that doesn't—I mean it…can't. Can it?"

"No, but it will keep trying…"

"Until it kills her?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

"So wait," Dawn began. "Her body is trying to get rid of whatever makes her a Slayer? But I mean—wouldn't she just be like a normal person then? Why would it kill her?"

"Because a Slayer is who she is. She was chosen at birth to carry on the Slayer line; it's built into her DNA." Giles related slowly. "It's in every single strand of hair or pore of her skin. The Slayer's power courses through her veins. That power can only be transferred, it can't be eliminated."

Buffy swallowed thickly, feeling like she was willing her heart to slide down her throat and back into place. She took Faith's hand and brought it to her lips, kissing her knuckles. Yes she'd been selfish when it came to getting what she wanted, but she'd also wanted the brunette safe from crazy inmates. But by attempting to get her out of danger, she'd delivered her into even  _more_  danger. And possibly into the clammy, skeleton hands of death.

Shaking her head, she forced back her tears. "How do we stop it? Do we know a way?"

Her Watcher stood, folding his arms over his chest. "As of yet, no."

"We'll find a cure." Willow said strongly. "We'll start researching right now."

Making herself keep it together, Buffy smiled and then kissed Faith softly on the lips. She had a few ideas of her own how to research and neither involved a book. "I—I'm gonna go call Angel. Maybe Wesley knows something." Everyone nodded and she spared one last glance at the brunette before hurrying out of the house.

She had no idea how much or how little time Faith had left, so she ran through the streets of Sunnydale as fast as she could. Soon she was sprinting through the cemetery and to a large crypt. She kicked open the door and it swung back to the wall with a loud thud, scaring a tv watching Spike. He jumped to his feet but snorted when he noticed who was breaking into his home.

"Ya get mad at me if I don't knock, yet you just bust into my crypt as if ya own the damn place." He turned off his television. "So to what do I owe this honor? And where's ya sweetie?"

She had no time for small talk. "I need your help. I need to find Rack again."

Spike stuck a cigarette in his mouth and flipped open his lighter. "Why?"

"Cliff notes version? I'm gonna hit him until he tells me how to save Faith." Her voice was even.

"Save her? What's wrong with her?" He questioned.

"She's…dying." She whispered. "The guys are working on it, but I thought going straight to the source might take less time."

The vampire blow out a smoke ring. "Rack is a dangerous guy. You know that right?

She shrugged. "I don't care. If he knows how to help Faith then I'm gonna find him. With or without your help."

Rolling his eyes, he grabbed up his jacket. "You'll never find 'em without me." Pause. "Look let me do the talkin' aight? Gettin' turned into somethin' squishy won't help ya little bit of fluff."

Buffy gave him an expression to show him she was not amused. "Just shut up and start sniffing. We've got a bad guy to find."


	26. Saving Faith

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos and comments, guys! XD

Chapter Twenty-Six: Saving Faith

Buffy felt anxious as she followed Spike through the dark alleyways of her hometown. All she wanted to do was fix Faith, which reminded her of the day Angel was dying. Is that what she did? Put the people in her life in serious danger? It sure seemed like it when she allowed herself a moment to think. That was probably why the Slayer's life was supposed to be solitary, spent working on combat tactics not shopping at the mall. But she couldn't just suddenly morph into a carbon cut out of how Kendra used to be.

She had tried that once upon a time and it didn't work out too well. Besides her emotions helped her—at least she thought they did. Sure they were often the reason she stepped forward without looking both ways, but they also gave her what she needed to do the impossible. To put herself into harms way over and over again. Bravery was all nice and good, but one needed a  _reason_  to be brave. A reason to fight for. Usually she fought for the world, and that was satisfying in its own right, but when she had to save someone she cared about, it made her give even more.

So she was going to do whatever it took to save Faith. She owed her that much.

Because Spike was on a first name basis with bad mojo, it was easy for him to find Rack's place again, even though it had moved to another seedy part of the small town. They stepped through the invisible barrier and into the sickly colored parlor, where a few people were thrown haphazardly onto the stained couch. Just like last time they looked dazed and confused, shaking with need for spells.

She'd agreed to let him do the talking…well…until something was said she didn't appreciate. Then she would not be held accountable for what her fists did of their own free will.

Spike gently nudged her back when she stepped forward however and gave her a look. She huffed but relented, letting him start the conversation. She hated having to depend on him for anything because she didn't trust him as far as she could throw him. Which when she thought about it could probably be all the way to Los Angeles. Or at least down the street. Point; his lovey dovey feelings for her made her tres uncomfy, but in his own sycophant way he was trying to help, and it was better than nothing.

The door to the adjoining room opened and Rack strutted out, tilting his head to the side. He took in the Slayer and her friend, and then smiled. "Back for more, huh? They can never stay away from my stuff. It's too good."

The vampire shoved his hands into his pockets. "We got a problem actually. Seems ya spell backfired."

He arched a scaly looking brow, folding his arms over his button down shirt. "What? My spells  _never_  backfire."

"The one you did for my friend here has her girl fightin' off the reaper." Spike replied with a shrug. "Dunno much about magic, but I'm pretty sure that ain't what it was 'sposed to do."

"So what? You want a refund?" Inquired the other man with a scoff.

"I wanna know what you did to her!" Buffy exploded before she could stop herself. Damn temper, it was gonna get her in trouble one of these days.

Spike sighed, but permitted it. "Yeah, what she said."

Rack smirked and turned, showing them into his private quarters. "Now I know what cha're thinking, that I juiced your girl up on purpose because she's a Slayer. But that's not how it went down. You said you wanted her out of jail so I got her out."

"Why should I believe you?" The petite blonde asked. "How do we know you aren't tryin' to kill her to even some sick score with me?"

"I'd never kill someone who worked with a close personal friend of mine." He watched her carefully. "Who do you think hooked her up with that nifty little device that caused you so much trouble?"

Buffy's brows narrowed. "That was you?"

He waved a hand. "In a word. Mayor Wilkins was an interesting man. Usually liked to dive into his own magic, but after you put  _his_   _Faith_  into the big sleep, he came to me in rather a hurry. Asked if I could cook up a sorta…get-well gift for her for when she woke up." Pause. "He paid so I played."

She sighed, running a hand through her hair. "The Mayor is dead and the game has changed."

"Maybe. But every dealer has a certain code they stick to. If you kill your customers, who's gonna buy what you're sellin?"

"Wow. A scumbag with ethics. Next you're gonna be telling me you have a union and everything."

"You came here for something."

"Yes." Spike interrupted. "We wanna know what spell you did to get the other one outta jail. How did it work?"

Rack sat down on his couch, stretching out. "I chanted, mixed ingredients and let the power flow. I couldn't just break down a wall and have her walk out.  _You_ …" He pointed at Buffy. "…wanted it like she'd never been locked up in the first place, so I had to get creative. First I took care of the records, then I sent my fairies to bust her out."

"Fairies?" The Slayer snorted. "So all of this is Tinkerbell's fault?"

"Do I look like someone who deals in Disney?" He rolled his eyes at her assumption. "'Sides…fairies aren't all sugar and spice, and everythin' nice like people believe. Some can be downright evil little things. Their stories changed over the years you see, to put the kiddies at ease."

The vampire nodded. "Go on."

Sighing, he continued. "Now they couldn't just float her out of the place, so they made her more manageable. Broke her up. Don't see how that would be killin' her though."

"And you don't seem too concerned with it either." Buffy accused with a frown. "Whatever you did, it's making the Slayer part of her go seriously wrong. It—it's trying to kill it or something. Tell me how to fix her. Now."

"Try a  _Penitus_   _Vita_ spell. That might help."

"Might? My—Faith is dying and that's all you can say?"

He gave another nonchalant shrug. "What do you want me to say? It's not my fault her body can't handle what  _you_  asked me to do. Maybe you should have thought of that before you came to the big bad wolf."

Angry and deciding that "talking time" was over, Buffy made to stalk across the room and punch him in the face. Rack however had other plans, for he just laughed and gave an artistic flourish of his right hand, sending her and Spike flying out the door and onto the cold concrete of the alley. The small den vanished moments later.

She landed on Spike with a low oomph, struggling to get up even though he kept entangling their limbs together. When she finally did manage to stand, she turned and struck him in the jaw. He howled and stumbled back, frowning at her.

"What the hell was that for?"

"Oh like I didn't feel you grab my boobs!"

"Heh, can't blame a bloke for tryin'."

"Grow up, Spike."

~*~

" _Faith. Faith wake up, I need to talk to you."_  

_Her eyes fluttered open and she blinked, slowly sitting up. She was lying on the floor of a white room, with thin curtains bellowing out from the open window. Frowning, she stood and glanced around, dusting off her tight denim jeans. Where the hell was she? And where was B? The last thing she remembered was checkin' out the Hellmouth and then…nothing. And why was it so freakin' bright in here?_

" _Yo! Who's there?" She called out. "And where is_ there _?"_

_A pretty young woman with almond shaped brown eyes and long bouncy curls stepped into view, smiling warmly. She smoothed down her pink dress, her feet bare as she walked up to the brunette. "Hello Faith."_

_Faith arched a brow. "Am I supposed to know you?"_

" _Not exactly." She replied. "But I know you. Or at least a version of you."_

" _English?"_

" _My name is Carly, and I am from another place."_

" _What kinda place? Heaven? Yo, did I die?"_

" _No, silly girl. I am from a Sunnydale that exists on the outside of the one you know."_

_Folding her arms over her chest, the brunette put two and two together. "Aight I'll play. What're you doin' here? I'm guessin' this is some kinda dream…"_

_Carly nodded slowly. "I'm a warning. Your Hellmouth is going to open and the result will be devastating." Pause. "I was borrowed to give you more information because, it happened in_ my _Sunnydale."_

" _Borrowed by who?" Faith inquired, scowling. "Are you dead?"_

" _No." The other girl said. "Faith borrowed me,_ my _Faith. She couldn't be here herself because of laws and such, so I volunteered to do it. After Buffy disappeared from our world, we figured she'd somehow managed to get home. However her being ripped away so suddenly caused a tear, and it woke up our Hellmouth. We managed to defeat it but…there were causalities."_

" _So you're helpin' me outta the goodness of your heart?" Questioned the Slayer. "Why should I believe ya?"_

_Grinning, Carly shook her head. "You're more paranoid than_ her _. Giles cared a great deal for Buffy, and getting to see that somewhere in the universe she is alive and well really touched him. When he discovered that the portal Glory opened caused a ripple affect by sending Buffy to our world, he wouldn't rest until we found some way to warn her here."_

_Faith exhaled and began to pace. Lotta crap to take in while her head was still foggy. "Okay so the Hellmouth is gonna open. We know that. You got a date or somethin'?"_

" _Very soon. But most importantly,_ do not _let Willow do a spell to keep it closed." She said softly. "If you are able to, stop her at all costs."_

" _Why? Wouldn't that be better than lettin' it open?"_

" _No. It will back fire and make the monster that much stronger."_

"Yeaah _. Red ain't so fond of me here so that's gonna be tough."_

" _I'm sure you can persuade her. Things will be worse if she does it. Trust me."_

_Rubbing her eyes, Faith nodded. "Thanks for the heads up. Hope I—she's good to ya there."_

_Carly giggled. "She is…very much so." Biting her bottom lip, she smiled. "Take care of yourself Faith. And don't be afraid to let someone else take care of you too."_

The voices that surrounded Faith sounded like they were deep underwater. Or maybe that she was deep underwater. All she knew was that she wasn't drownin', but her limbs felt heavy as all hell. She could barely muster up the strength to lift her head, to turn it to the side where someone was smoothing a cool cloth across her face. Her eyelashes flickered and she forced them open, blinking back the blurry images to see Dawn smiling down at her.

"Hey guys! She's awake!" She called out. "Faith, are you okay? Do—do you need anything?"

"I…" Damn her throat was scratchy and parched. Had she been chuggin' whiskey straight out the bottle? "What—what happened?"

"Um, you're sick but don't worry, we're gonna help you." She replied sincerely. "Giles has everyone researching, but I thought you looked hot so I decided to make you more comfortable."

"Thanks, kid." The brunette grunted, trying to inch up more to the arm of the sofa. "Wh—where's B?"

"She said she was going to call Angel, but none of us really believed that. She was in punching mode." Pause. "But I'm sure she'll be fine."

"Punchin' who?"

"If I had to guess? I'd say that Rack guy."

"Fuck. Last thing she needs to be doin' is goin' off half cocked."

"Yeah but you know Buffy…"

Giles entered the room a moment later, placing the four books in his hands down on his table. He glanced down at the Slayer on his couch with a warm expression. "How are you feeling?"

Faith shrugged weakly. "Like I was caught in a tornado and then someone dropped a house on me. Sup?"

He folded his arms over his chest, preparing to give her the bad news. "You—you are gravelly ill but we are exhausting all of our resources to cure you. Apparently your body is rejecting that which makes you a Slayer. In a sense your immune system is attacking your cells, attempting to destroy the bond."

She sighed slowly. "Always knew bein' a Slayer would bite me in the ass one day. Brat here says it has somethin' to do with that dude's spell."

"Yes, that is the theory we are all going with." He sighed deeply. "But do not worry, if there is a way to heal you then we shall discover it."

Nodding, she watched him walk away to join the others, wherever they were. She couldn't help but figure this was some kinda whack punishment for bein' outta the slammer. To remind her that her life could never be just a walk in the park. That she had to atone for the horrible things she'd done. Maybe it was even tryin' to say she needed to ditch Sunnydale for a place where she could really make a difference. Buffy had her town on lock—it didn't need her.

It was somethin' to consider after they took care of the Hellmouth. If she made it to  _take_  care of the Hellmouth that is. Oh and remember that riff about Willow not doin' a spell.

She could hear the Scoobies whispering, and it kinda touched her to think they were tryin' to save  _her_. Once upon a time it would have been the other way around. Made her wonder if they were doin' it for her or for B. Probably B. Still she supposed it was the thought that counted and shit. Weird though to have people goin' to bat for her. Especially people she'd wronged. But that was the good guys for ya, doin' the right thing no matter what. Even if that thing tried to kill ya back in the day.

The door to Giles' apartment opened and Buffy hurried inside with Spike behind her. She shrugged out of her coat and made a beeline for the couch, her face lightening up at the fact that Faith was awake. "Hey. How are you?"

The brunette grinned. "Five by five."

"Liar." She tucked strands of dark hair behind her ear. "We're gonna help you. I'm so sorry, this is all my fault. I should have—I should have thought things through first."

"Eh. No worries." Faith replied calmly. "I think we're even though on the tryin' to kill each other scale." She was joking of course. "'Sides, your buddies are workin' on it."

Nodding, she leaned down and kissed the ex-con on her full lips. "And I got some information that might help. Willow?"

"Yeah?" The red head came into view. "What cha got?"

"Rack mentioned a spell called  _Penitus_   _Vita_. What does it do?"

" _Penitus_   _Vita_?" Giles asked, and she nodded. "Good lord. How would he know about such a thing?"

"What? What does it do?"

"Well… _Penitus_   _Vita_  is something I heard about many years ago when I first became a Watcher. I always thought it was just a myth though. It is said to be a way to make a Slayer even stronger by tapping into her connection to her powers and doubling it."

Willow frowned, then her brows shot up. "Maybe we could use it to re-strengthen that connection in Faith so that her body would recognize it."

"Let's do it." Buffy said without a second thought.

Her Watcher held up a hand. "It's not as simple as that, Buffy. We do not even know if  _Penitus Vita_  will work, and as I understand it, the ritual to perform it is quite uh—well it could be deadly."

"To who?" She asked. "I don't see how things could get worse than they already are."

"You. The spell dictates that the only way to fortify a Slayer's bond to her powers is to draw it from the Slayer who died before her. However you are not deceased…you'd have to be virtually near death for the link to re-establish."

Faith groaned; it didn't look too good for her. No way she was lettin' B take that risk. "Guess it's back to the books then."

Buffy shook her head. "No. Why can't we do this? Or—or why can't we draw from Kendra's power? She's dead."

"Her powers came from your death and have already been transferred. Besides she has been dead for quite a while." Giles explained slowly. "I fear it would not work—the connection must be fresh."

"Then it has to be me." The blonde related. "I wanna do it."

"No." Faith used every bit of strength she had to sit up. "You're not gonna die for me to live. I won't let cha."

"You don't have a choice. I went to Rack and messed everythin' up. So I'm fixing. "

"Um it's  _my_  neck on the choppin' block. Seems like that would make it my say."

"Don't you want me to save you?"

"Do I wanna die? Fuck no. Do I want you to die tryin' to save me? Fuck no to that too."

"I won't die! With Willow doing the spell there is no way it can go wrong."

Willow blinked, her fingers twisting the bottom of her blouse. "Oh I—I—pressure. Loads upon loads of pressure on my teeny little shoulders."

Faith's face became hard. There is no way she'd let B do somethin' so damn foolish. She wasn't worth it. "No. I've fucked up ya life since the moment we met. I'm over my  _kill_   _Buffy_  phase. Maybe this is the way it's supposed to be. Save ya devotion for someone who deserves it, not for me."

Buffy moved to sit beside her, caressing her cheeks. "You  _deserve_  it so much. I may have let you down in the past. I may have been selfish or blinded by my love for Angel to see you, but I'm looking at you right now. I just got you back into my life and I  _refuse_  to let you go yet. We—we have—there is so much more to us than what we did back then." Pause. "And I want a chance to experience it all. Faith…I wanna  _feel_  you again."

The brunette swallowed hard and glanced away, forcing herself to remain in check. She couldn't let her true emotions shine through. Couldn't get all weepy and sentimental, not yet anyway. She had to be strong. She had to make sure B made the right choice for the right reasons, not just cause she might feel guilty.

"I don't need cha to save me." She whispered. "I don't want cha to."

"Tough." The other female replied. "If you can't stop me, I'm doing it."

_Self-righteous little_ … Groaning, Faith pushed up with all her might, standing on wobbly legs. She was up for about five seconds before her feverish body couldn't take anymore, and she collapsed back to the sofa. Stupid body. "Damn it  _Buffy_! Why ya gotta always be this way?"

Smiling and content, she gently kissed her on the forehead. "Because I'm the Slayer." Glancing up to the faces of those listening around them, she let them know that her decision was final. "We're doing the spell." She then turned her attention back to Faith, who was practically glaring at her. "I'm gonna save you and you're gonna let me. Or I'm gonna kick your ass."


	27. Slayer Wasteland

Chapter Twenty-Seven: Slayer Wasteland

_You're doing the right thing. The only thing_.

She stood over by the window of Giles' living room, slowly rubbing her neck. Willow had everything set up that they would need to do the spell: the small altar with its incense, candles and herbs. She was nervous however, doing her  _I_   _might pee my pants_   _dance_  when she wasn't going over everything for the tenth time. Buffy had faith in her though. She knew she was going to be awesome at this just like she was awesome at everything else.

Still she'd be insane if she weren't a little wigged out over the prospect of dying. Again. Not to mention this time could be permanent if one thing went wrong. But it wasn't like the other option was the way to go either. There was no way she could let Faith die, not when she had the power to stop it.

Buffy sighed and glanced to the girl in question, smiling a little. She was lying on the floor with a pillow under her head, pouting like a two year old that didn't get the cookie they wanted. She was not on board with everything, but that was just how she was. She hated admitting that she needed help or showing that she had a vulnerable side. Probably saw it as a type of weakness.

Which was valid, feelings wise.

Nevertheless she wanted to break that cold exterior. It was obvious to anyone with eyes that Faith had a depth most people couldn't boast about. She was like a yin-yang symbol in a way, filled with light and dark. Since the dark side had already made an appearance and finished up its final show, the light had to be waiting for its turn. Its turn to shine brightly and bring the crowd to its feet with a standing ovation.

"I still say this is a bad idea." Faith grumbled. "We should just let it run its course. Like the flu."

"If we do that you'll die." Buffy replied with a smile. "And I know you wanna be like me, but really, that's just crazy."

The brunette snorted and brought a hand up to her forehead. "I don't deserve your good faith, B. I know ya think I do but I don't. Maybe—maybe this is just the way it's 'sposed to go."

Shaking her head, the blonde walked over and sat down beside her. She smoothed her fingers along her cheek, trying to hide her alarm at how hot she was. "Fate would not be that cruel to us. Look, I—I'm not gonna lie and pretend that what happened between us wasn't bad. It was horrible. I had nightmares for a while afterwards. But that doesn't mean I want you to die. Not…anymore." Chuckling a bit, she continued. "To be honest, I don't think I ever really wanted you to die. Maim? Now that I could do, but when you strip away the anger and the pain, I still wanna be your friend like I did after we first met."

"You're twisted."

"Maybe. But that day in jail, you said you had feelings for me. Was that a lie?"

"No."

"Then what's the problem?"

"Dude, you could bite the big one. Do you really think I want that over my head for the rest of my life?"

"I won't die. I won't even let myself need CPR."

"This ain't a joke, B. I—I just don't wanna lose you. I don't want cha sacrificin' yourself for me. I don't want cha friends resentin' me anymore than they already do if somethin' happens to ya."

"Faith, I know you're freaked out but you have to trust me. You have such a humongous heart; wouldn't it be better to let me in even though you're scared, than to shut me out for peace of mind?"

"Yo, that won't simply happen overnight…"

"Duh, I get that. See? I know you better than you think."

Willow swallowed hard as she strolled over to the two girls, wringing her hands together repeatedly. "Um hi, hey. I—I think I'm ready. Also, we should probably do this be—before I lose my nerve. Or faint."

Buffy nodded. "Okay. Will, you're gonna be awesome with this like you're awesome with everything else."

"I hope so." She whimpered. "We—well let's begin."

Grabbing up the golden thread, she knelt beside the Slayers and tied their wrists together. She then rubbed sacred oil that smelled like apples onto their palms, using a black marker to make twin symbols that looked like crescent moons. She lit the candles that formed a circle around them, making sure to be careful where she stepped so that she didn't smudge the chalk drawn star and glyphs. Wetting her lips, she picked up a small knife and glanced to her best friend.

"Ar—are you  _sure_  you wanna do this?" She asked softly, needing to be totally certain.

Her friend nodded again. "Positive."

Exhaling deeply, she sliced their hands and watched as they entwined their fingers together. "I call upon the fallen one and her mystic energy. Take flight and heal that which is tainted. Give this most worthy vessel your infinite power, for they are in truth, one.  _Ex unus…planto duos_."

The lights started to flicker violently before snapping off completely. A rushing wind entered the room, fluttering the pages of miscellaneous books and knocking over whatever objects that happened to be lying around. Buffy felt completely normal at first, and then gasped loudly. A strange white film slid over her eyes and Faith's as well, rendering them both blind. But it hardly mattered for seconds later they were both in a deep sleep, frozen in place like statues. A purple shock of electricity encircled their joined hands, crackling like lightning continuously.

" _Ex unus…planto duos_." Willow whispered. "Take only what is needed…"

~*~

" _Faith?"_

" _Sup?"_

" _Guess we're dreamin' or something."_

" _Yup. Seems to be a lot of that going on."_

_Buffy frowned and brought her hand up, shielding her bright green eyes from the glare of the harsh sun. They were in the middle of a desert with no signs of life what so ever, and for a moment she almost expected the Primitive to show up. Everything looked saturated and off color, even the pretty young woman standing next to her. She wet her lips, folding her arms over her shirt. Why did wiggy dreams have to come with the territory?_

" _Think we'll have to go all kumbiya or somethin'?" Inquired the ex-con. "I ain't dancin' around naked covered in feathers."_

" _I doubt it. I—I think I've been here before." The blonde related. "But it looks different. It's flat…"_

_Faith snickered, shoving her hands into her pockets. "What? You were expectin' rollin' hills that looked like boobs or somethin'?"_

" _No." Pause. "I met the first Slayer in a place like this. She said that_ deathwasmygift _, but the first time she tried to kill me."_

" _Sounds promisin'." The other girl arched a brow. "So, what's she like? The first?"_

_Buffy shrugged lightly. "Wild. Strong. In serious need of conditioner."_

_Laughing, the brunette tilted her head to the side and pointed. "Look. What's that over there?" Before waiting for a reply, she began in that direction._

_Blinking, the elder Slayer hurried to keep in step with her. She didn't know what was going on, but she hoped that in the process things were being healed. "Let's hope it's not something we have to fight."_

" _I doubt we'll get that lucky."_

" _Hey, I can dream can't I?"_

_When they were no more than five feet from the motionless figure, Buffy sucked in a quick breath of air and latched onto Faith's wrist to bring her to a stop. She tucked strands of hair behind her ear, not releasing her partner's appendage. "Kendra?"_

_Turning slowly, the gorgeous and very dead brown skinned Slayer allowed a smile to grace her pouty lips. She was still dressed in a green tank top and matching pants, but the black leather jacket was missing. Her long dark hair was in its high braid, and across her otherwise flawless neck was a straight, extreme gash._

" _Buffy." She replied in her usual, subdued tone with its lovely accent._

" _Wh—what are you doing here?" Buffy questioned slowly. "Where is_ here _?"_

" _I'm not exactly Kendra. I'm takin' her form cause I'm apart of her and I was summoned. Dis be da Slayer Wasteland." Kendra explained, glancing around. "It's where da powa waits for a new Slayer ta be called."_

_Clicking her tongue against the roof of her mouth, Faith looked uncomfortable. "So you're the chick who died before me… Never thought I'd get to meet cha."_

_She folded her arms over her shirt. "Don't be givin' me dat sad face. I did my duty…just like I was supposed ta. We die—it's we do."_

_Buffy watched her warily. "And what are you doing here? I—I mean you—the power was already transferred. You shouldn't be here, right?"_

" _I'm here ta help ya save her." She pointed to the brunette. "And maybe stay alive yaself."_

Okay that is a vast improvement of my plan to just dive in and see what happens _. "How do I do that? Willow is performing the spell, thought that would be enough…"_

_The black girl shook her head. "Da spell just gets ya here. Opens ya up for the powa change. But you'd know dat if ya ever looked into da Slayer handbook."_

Definitely Kendra _. "That's gonna be at the top of my list right after this. Anyway, how do we exchange power?"_

_A stick appeared in Kendra's hand, and she drew a circle around the two girls, having them sit and face each other. "Now, concentrate."_

" _On what?" Faith inquired, arching a brow._

" _The powa." Kendra related. "See it. Take it."_

_Sighing, then brunette closed her eyes and thought back to the moment when she first became a Slayer. Buffy was surprised when suddenly the desert around them changed, wiggled away like water and became nothing but runny images. She realized that the more Faith focused, the clearer the images became. Soon she could see an alley and a young girl sitting on top of a large dumpster, kicking the metal outside with the heel of her boots._

_Her long dark curls were clouding her face but it was obvious who she was. Si_ _xteen-year-old Faith, pre ass kicker._

_The scene swirled and a group of guys walked up, their mouths moving but no sound coming out. However Faith didn't look worried; she jumped down and conversed with them, flashing that bright dimpled smile. Buffy was worried that something else was about to happen—become an episode of Law & Order: SUV but it didn't. The boys eventually left and Faith wandered out of the alley, strolling down the streets alone._

_Suddenly the Faith in the mirage stumbled into a wall, bringing her hand to her head. She gasped and knelt down on the sidewalk, her chest heaving as people kept their distance instead of asking her if she were okay._

_Buffy pouted and reached out to brush Faith's cheek when a shock jolted her fingertips. Her vision went blurry and she blinked several times, out of the blue feeling very dizzy. She groaned and tilted over onto her side, staring up blankly, her head thick with an odd fog. Everything except the images faded away, and she fumbled out for something solid to grasp onto._

_Instead she found herself looking into dark brown eyes. The eyes of the sixteen year old in the illusion. "Faith?"_

" _They say ya got somethin' that belongs to me." She said, tilting her head to the side. "Somethin' I need."_

_The blonde nodded slowly. "I do. Y—you have to take it."_

" _What if I don't want it?"_

" _You do. Trust me it—it'll save your life."_

_Itching at her cheek, young Faith nodded and reached out, placing her palm flat on her chest. At the first brush of contact, Buffy felt as if the very life were being sucked out of her body. Her back arched and she whimpered, watching as a mist of white rose out of her and into the other female. The more she took, the more it hurt, and soon she was writhing on the ground with tear stained cheeks. It was as if she were being ripped apart. Like whatever it was that held her together—that glue—was being stripped away bit by bit, leaving her nothing but a mass of tissue._

_It grew very quiet ne_ _xt, even though she was quite sure she was screaming. Her mouth was open but no sound was coming out._

_Why did her neck hurt so badly?_

_Why was it wet?_

_Her hand managed to flop up and touch it, and she frowned at the red on her fingertips. Had she cut herself without knowing it?_

_It didn't matter though. Not anymore. It was getting colder and darker; the sun was probably setting. Soon she'd be done._

" _BUFFY!"_

_The vision broke with the sound of shattering glass, and Buffy inhaled harshly as if she were surfacing from deep waters. She moaned and slowly rolled onto her stomach; resisting the urge to lose whatever lunch she'd had earlier. She pushed the hair out of her face, squeezing her eyes closed for a moment before opening them once again. "Faith?"_

" _Fuck…" The brunette looked white as a sheet. "I—I'm sorry I—Jesus. What the fuck was that?"_

_Kendra remained as impassive as ever. "My death and you're rebirth through Buffy's energy. You're cured. More or less…"_

Jerking awake, Buffy gulped in air and pushed damp hair out of her face. She felt tired but gloriously alive, like after a hard battle that seemed it would never be won. With trembling arms, she pushed herself up and slowly looked around. She was still in Giles' living room, but Willow had disappeared. Maybe she was just outside though. Maybe she needed to be away from the epicenter.

She clutched at her chest, slipping the fabric of her shirt aside. Swallowing thickly, her fingers traced the faint hint of the palm print, bright and red on her skin. "Faith? Faith ar—are you okay?"

"Define okay." The brunette replied, unmoving on the floor.

 _Oh god. What if it didn't work!_  "Alive? Non dying anymore?"

Faith sat up and ripped the gold thread off their wrists. She cracked her knuckles and stretched, then grinned. "I'm not cold anymore."

Relieved, Buffy hugged her tightly. "That was…"

"Yeah." Pulling back, the ex-con entwined her fingers in the blonde's hair. "I don't know 'bout you, but I feel seriously jacked up."

Laughing, the other girl nodded. "I know what you mean. Seeing you become a Slayer. Experiencing Kendra's death… I never knew taking the power meant—"

Her sentence was stopped short by soft pouty lips covering her own. She blinked but recovered, smiling at the fact that she was kissing Faith. It was gentle at first but quickly escalated into something extra. Something deeper and hotter that had both of them struggling to get closer and feel more.

Neither seemed exactly sure where the sudden need to touch came from, but Buffy figured it was because of their renewed connection. She could detect that simmering hum that meant only one thing; Faith was near. She was near and she was going to be okay, hopefully. It was still too early to be all jugdy, though she wanted to focus on anything other than the bad for once. She just wanted to be in the moment.

Though…maybe Giles' living room wasn't the  _best_  location for their first  _moment_. "Fa—Faith wait. We…can't. Not here!"

"Why not?" Faith inquired, wrestling her onto her back. "Everyone has flown the coup."

"Ugh, when did you get stronger than me?" The blonde asked, finding that she couldn't stop Faith's questing hands from slipping under her shirt and squeezing her breasts. "And what if they come back?"

"Then…they'll see some things." She snickered. "Maybe even learn some shit too."

Buffy scowled and a slight tussle ensued that ended with Faith on top of her, and her clothes in disarray on her body. Her shirt was basically off, her bra pushed up under her arms. Her jeans were off one of her legs and hanging around her ankle, as were her panties. She knew she should be mortified or angry, but in truth she wanted this. She kinda felt like if she didn't have it—if she didn't have the closeness right at that moment—she'd die.

Faith wasted no time with  _romance_  instead pressing her face to her most intimate of areas, sliding her tongue in deep. Buffy moaned loudly and she smiled inwardly, teasing her with quick thrusts and rolling circles before pulling away completely.

Focusing on the small bud that blossomed from between damp folds, she laved at it lazily and the blonde found herself panting Faith's name throughout the room. She'd never felt anything as exquisite before; it was as if she were being caressed all over instead of one little spot. She was sure the spell had everything heightened, turning a simple graze into a thousand pleasurable sensations.

Two fingers slid inside of her, stroking and caressing her insides and she shuddered on the carpet. She reached down and grabbed Faith by the shoulders, yanking her up so that she could kiss her passionately on the lips. Their bodies fit perfectly together like it was how they were always meant to be. And the more they ground against each other, the more that tingle Buffy felt deep down inside grew. She'd never really paid much notice to it before, but now it was screaming to be heard.

Shouting from the mountaintop that she was connected to Faith in a way that she'd never be connected to another person. They were kindred spirits. The balance that the other lacked. Soul mates.

And as Faith's tongue danced with her own, and she traced her fingertips up the hot, exposed skin of her back, the thought of being caught left her consciousness completely. They both deserved this…one perfect moment. The calm before the storm that was no doubt on the horizon. She wasn't silly enough to think things were over with Rack or the Hellmouth, but nothing else mattered because Faith was in her arms.

And she was safe. They both were.

For now.


	28. A-Okay

Chapter Twenty-Eight: A-Okay

Faith bounded over a tombstone and lunged onto the back of the bulky vampire, driving him to the ground. She punched him in the face and slammed his head into the dirt, digging her knees into his side so hard that a small snap was heard. He cried out in pain and she yanked the stake from her jacket pocket, jabbing it into his chest. He exploded into ashes beneath her and she smirked, flipping the hair out of her face. Man it felt awesome to be able to do that again!

Standing, she sniffled and stretched her arms high over her head. So far so good, as in she wasn't dying anymore. She felt normal, or as normal as she could be heh. All of her powers were back. She wasn't gettin' dizzy and she didn't feel like an icebox inside any longer. She could feel B—man could she  _feel_  her.

Since sexin' her on Giles floor the previous night, it was like someone had flipped a switch and turned up her internal heater. She'd always been hot for Buffy but this was ridiculous. Felt good though. Right. And she was doin' good too, though the handprint hadn't faded yet. It looked wicked awesome.

Glancing around, she re-pocketed her stake and headed for the gates of the cemetery. She'd been slayin' for like hours, workin' off some steam and just enjoyin' the fact that she could kick ass again. It also helped her clear her mind—she had a lot on it these days.

First there was the whole B wantin' her in a less than platonic way.

Then the gettin' outta jail, Angel showin' up thing. She needed to give him a call, see how he was.

Next she was dyin' and needin' to re-amp her Slayer connection. That was like, wiggy but not the whole nearly bitin' it part. That was more or less true to form with how she considered herself. The jacked up part was Buffy jumpin' in to save her. Offerin' to almost die just so that she could live. It seemed…odd. Un-natural kinda.

Frowning, she kicked at a rock and sighed. It wasn't that she didn't appreciate it and think even higher of B, it was that parts of her honestly didn't know how to take it. No she knew how to take it. She just wasn't sure she deserved to be saved yet. Especially by Buffy. But then she told herself she couldn't dwell on the past forever just cause it was a parachute of some sorts. That which she fell back onto when shit got too real.

Fact; she wanted Buffy and she was gonna be with her. She was also gonna try to let some of her walls down for a change, otherwise what was the point?

It could be done. She'd done it with Angel.

"Slayer."

"Vampire."

Spike snorted and stepped out from behind a large tree. "Thought it was Buffy. Smelled like Buffy."

She grinned, ready to be trifling. "Oh. Guess ya just smell her all over me. Sorry."

He rolled his blue eyes. "Yeah I'm sure. So, looks like you're not dyin'…"

"Nope." She popped the end. "Sorry to disappoint."

"Hey, I helped Buffy save you." He replied, folding his arms over his chest. "Helped her find Rack."

"So?" She scowled. "You just wanna get in her pants. I gotta know, when did happen? Cause if it was when she said she'd ride ya til ya popped like warm champagne, I got news for ya bro. That weren't her."

The vampire looked confused. "What? How do you know about that? And that wasn't the moment… I dunno when it happened but I love her."

Faith grabbed at her belt buckle loops, amused. "Body switch. It was B's ride but I was in the driver's seat." Pause. "Fair enough. I know ya helped her for selfish reasons but whateva. Thanks I guess."

He nodded. "No problem. Anyway, tell Buffy I said hey."

She mirrored his nod and watched him walk away. She didn't like him or trust him, but the chip in his head made her less likely to kill him cause he was scopin' her chick.

_Her chick, heh_.

Quickening her pace for no other reason than gettin' back, she hurried down the street until she reached the sidewalks of Rovello Drive. She strolled across the green grass of the Summers' lawn and up onto the porch, hand raised to knock until she remembered the key in her pocket. She stuck it into the lock and headed in, taking off her jacket.

"Yo?" She called out.

"In here!" Came Dawn's voice.

She followed it into the kitchen. "Sup? What smells so… _interestin'_?"

The teenager sighed. "My hot pocket kinda…caught on fire. I forgot to take the foil off it."

"Ha. Where's B?" Faith asked as she looked in the cabinets. "I can whip up some spaghetti if ya want…?"

"Yes please!" Dawn smiled at her. "She had to go to Giles for something but she'll be back soon."

The brunette yawned, taking down a box of noodles and putting a pot on the stove. "Gotta say kid, havin' you all gung go about our  _thing_  is cool. I thought if anyone would be against it, it'd be you. Cause of what I did…"

Dawn shrugged. "I want Buffy happy more than anything. Maybe before—before she jumped off that tower I would have been a brat about it. But she sacrificed herself for me. Who am I to—to say who she dates or whatever?"

"That's really decent, man."

"Besides, you're not exactly tryin' to kill all of us this time either."

"I get bored doin' the same thing twice."

"Heh…Buffy really likes you. Do you find it…weird?"

"Yeah. Our history—didn't exactly leave room for warm fuzzies to be showin' up. Guess other world did a number on her."

"But like—well I mean—you always had feelings for her. I mean you agreed to see where things went after the fact, so that means you liked her already."

Faith arched a brow but grinned; kid had hit the nail on the head with that one. "Somethin' like that. It's not somethin' I ever talked about. Tried to forget it if we're bein' honest."

Dawn sat down on a stool, putting her elbows on the island. "When did you know you liked her?"

Filling the pot with water and dropping in the noodles, she sighed. She wasn't really comfy with the whole  _sharin' ya feelings_  thing but she had a feeling the teen was trying to be nice. "Uh…homecoming night I guess. After she got cleaned up, we hung out on the front porch and talked. I know it sounds so joe normal but…I dunno…I looked at her and things felt different." Pause. "For me anyway."

Nodding, the teenager inhaled. "It all worked out though."

"The jury is still out on that I think." She replied, staring at the burning pilot light. "Even if B and I make it, we're gonna be up against a lotta shit. Like this Hellmouth business."

Dawn itched at her neck. "True but you've got all of us. An—and now that Willow knows she can't do magic to stop it, everyone is working twice as hard to keep it from opening."

The brunette smirked. "Yeah. Seems a miracle to me that she's even believin' the dream I had. Not that I blame her. I was a dick last time I blew through these parts."

"The past is the past. We shouldn't forget it but we can't change it."

"Be nice if we could. But then I guess everyone would be wantin' to do it."

They heard the front door open, and moments later Buffy breezed around the corner. She smiled and kissed Faith on the cheek, then made a face at the smell of her sister's botched dinner experiment. "That's disturbing."

Dawn ignored her. "How did research go?"

"No go. There doesn't seem to be a way to keep the Hellmouth from opening." The blonde shook her head. "It looks like we're gonna have to fight it back like last time. I  _so_  don't wanna have to do that though."

Faith snickered and leaned against the counter. "Eh we can do it. We did it once."

"And got seriously hurt in the process.  _And_  this time we don't even have Angel." She sighed deeply, obviously worried.

"Ask your vampire stalker." Her girlfriend mused. "I'm sure he'd be willin' to help."

Buffy sent her a look, but conceded. "I suppose you are right though. Even Spike would be better than nothing." Rubbing her forehead, she wrapped her arms around Faith and gave her a side hug, laying her head against her shoulder. "How did slayin' go?"

_Never gonna get used to the PDAs, man. Especially the sweet ones_. "Good. Got in some wicked kills."

"So you feel like your old self again?" Her voice was hopeful.

The brunette nodded, giving a cute smile that showed her dimples. "More or less. Muscles are a little twitchy but I got my strength back. Ya shoulda seen me wailin' on that vamp."

"But the cold feeling isn't there anymore, right?"

"Yup. All gone. Nothin' but tingly warmth from the tips of my toes."

"And…us? I—I mean our  _connection_?"

"Furnace hot."

Buffy blushed and Dawn gave a loud groan, waving her hand. "Ugh. Call me when the food is done. If I stay here and watch you two get pelvic, I'm gonna be scarred for life." Smiling to let them know she was teasing, she hurried out of the room and upstairs.

Faith tilted her head to the side. "I'm guessin' no one knows what happened at Giles…"

"God no." The blonde chuckled. "I mean if they knew it would be okay I just—I think Giles would freak out if he knew what his floor had saw."

A shrug. "I dunno. G is a good lookin' dude. He's prob had a few tumbles that left some serious carpet burn."

"I'll  _never_  get that image out of my head now." Buffy looked downright horrified. "It's like when I found out he and my mom—oh ugh! Where is the brain bleach when you need it!"

Laughing, the ex-con hopped up onto the counter, brushing grass off her jeans. "Giles and ya mom? Wicked."

Pouting, Buffy moved to stand between her legs, putting her hands on her waist. "It wasn't at the time, believe me. But…last night was…it was amazing. I've never felt so connected to another person before."

Faith inhaled and forced down her inner barriers. "Same goes for me, Twinkie. And…not just the sex."

Smiling, the other female reached up and caressed her cheeks, then kissed her lightly on the lips. "Though that was awesome too."

"It gets better. But for our first time I think it works."

"Me too. I thought it would come later, but last night just seemed so perfect. Like full circle after the spell."

"Yeah."

"You okay? I know this touchy feely mumbo jumbo isn't—that you're not comfortable with it."

"I'm managin'. And it's not that it like freaks me out, it's just, I know from experience that openin' up can lead to shit."

"True but you have to take a chance sometimes. You took a chance on Angel."

"He was different. Our thing is more big brother, little sister ya know? I tried to kill the guy so he'd kill me, and he ended up forcin' me to face everythin' I'd become. Can't help but trust someone like that."

"And you two are kinda similar. With the whole redemption thing."

"Yeah. B look, I don't want cha to get the wrong idea, okay? I—this thing we have? I'm totally down, even if I might seem otherwise. It's throwin' me for a loop is all."

"Faith it's alright. I didn't expect you to just fall into my arms and tell me all your secrets. I think we're in a good place though."

"Sweet."

Buffy kissed her again, then nuzzled her neck with her nose. "Tomorrow we have to go to the Magic Box. I still can't believe Carly appeared to you in a dream."

The brunette arched a brow. "You sound a little jealous…"

The blonde snorted. "Why would I be jealous that you're dreamin' about a gorgeous girl that another you is dating in another Sunnydale?"

"You're right. What  _was_  I thinkin'?" Faith teased, giving a strand of her hair a pull. "She was just warnin' me about stuff. Not like she tried to get down my pants."

"If she had I'd go back to Alter Sunnydale and kick her ass." Buffy related.

"Willin' to throw down for me—that's hot." The ex-con smoothed her hands underneath the back of her shirt, feeling her warm skin. "Ya know we got a few before the food will be done. Wanna make out?"

Giggling, the blonde bit her lip but nodded. "Yes."

Jumping down, Faith pushed her into the nearest wall with a grin. She tipped up her chin and kissed her hotly on the lips, pressing against her. Her fingers found their way under her shirt and up to her bra, where she pushed the cups aside and proceeded to roll her nipples like tiny pieces of clay. Buffy moaned softly and arched closer, clinging to her body, her lashes fluttering. She entwined her fingers into brown locks, feeling them slip along her knuckles like silk.

The kiss between them became sizzling and erotic, the taste of her awakening things Faith had heard about but never experienced. Things that dealt with no more sorrow or days that made her wanna get drunk and forget. Her tongue traced the smallest designs and tangled with Buffy's, her mouth moving like she wanted to devour her whole. Hell maybe she did. Things were never cut and dry where Buffy was concerned anyway.

Yet here she was, suckin' face with the one person she was sure she'd never get along with. With the one person she had the most regrets with. Fate was a weird bitch when she thought about it. But then again if it kept up its end of the bargain…which was smooth sailing couple wise with the girl she was currently molestin', she'd be happy to change her song and dance routine.

~*~

Sitting between her girlfriend's legs on the metal stairs that led up to the forbidden books section, Buffy was trying her best to listen to what her Watcher was saying. But so far he'd just been repeating himself. They got it already! There was no text that outlined how to stop the Hellmouth from opening. She frowned as she thought about all of the other things she could be doing. And whom she could be doing them with.

Running a hand through her hair, she glanced around at her friends. Anya was idly flipping through a bride magazine, ear marking the pages that caught her fancy. Xander was behind the counter, resisting the urge to play with the register by the looks of his expression. Tara and Willow were the only ones paying apt attention, because even Faith had a blank look on her face, like she was day dreaming.

"Giles, please." Buffy whined. "Give it a rest already. If we can't stop it from opening then…we'll fight it. Story, end of."

He frowned, removing his glasses. "I hardly think that is the attitude one should have in this matter. We do not know if the Hellmouth is—is even the same as it was three years ago. If it had grown in size when we last faced it, imagine how it must look now."

She nodded with a sigh. "I know that. But we—we can't keep trying to tap a dry well. We should be practicing or something, sharpening our weapons."

"Ar—are we sure I can't use magic?" Willow inquired slowly. "It's always worked in the past."

Tara gave her hand a squeeze. "Baby, Faith said that she was warned against that, remember? I—I think we sh—should take that into consideration."

The red head wet her lips. "It doesn't have to be a spell to stop it from opening. Wh—what about one to make sure it's not strong? Or the size of a pea. I can make all pea sized."

"I don't know if that is such a good idea." Buffy replied. "Carly wouldn't have contacted Faith if she didn't have valuable information."

"But—but just because something happened one way doesn't mean it has to again." Willow said simply. "You were dead in their world but alive here. And you said there were other little changes, right?"

"Yeah but—"

"Then this could work. I think we should at least try. It—it's better than someone getting seriously hurt in a fight."

Faith tightened the watch on her wrist. "Unless someone gets seriously hurt cause of the spell."

Cutting her blue eyes to the Slayer, the Wicca frowned. "I think I'm past the point where I can't control my magic."

"Didn't say you weren't. I'm only repeatin' what Carly told me." The brunette remained stoic. "Things will be worse if you do magic."

Willow shifted in her chair, her hands playing with the fabric of the jacket she wore. "How do we even know it was a real Slayer dream? Carly isn't a Slayer." Pause. "You were running a—a high fever. Maybe you were hallucinating."

"Willow, I don't think that's the case." Buffy said softly. "And anyway Slayer dreams can be really tricky. Maybe Alter Faith couldn't talk to herself. Either way I—I don't think we should be all jump the gunny and not pay attention."

"I don't believe this. Yo—you're acting like I'm some two bit Glenda who just started out." Her best friend grumbled. "I  _can_  do this."

"No one is saying you can't, sweetie." Tara whispered, ever the voice of reason. "We—we just think th—that maybe magic itself wo—would be better not used."

Shaking her head, Willow stood and walked soundlessly from the store. Everyone sighed and watched her go. Ten whole minutes passed before anyone else said a single word.

"That went well." Xander said trying to lift the tension, but failing.

"We should just let her do it." Faith shrugged, combing her fingers through Buffy's hair. "Who knows if what I dreamed was even real."

Buffy glanced back at her. "No. It's okay…Willow will be fine. I think we need to take what you saw seriously. What if we do a spell an—and someone is hurt or even worse? Will would blame herself."

The brunette bit her bottom lip. "Yeah but she'll blame me if that happens with no magic."

Tara exhaled, pulling her sleeves down over her hands. "She—she's trying to come to terms with everything. I—I think it—it's just gonna take some time."

Giles stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Something tells me we don't have an abundance of that this time around." Pause. "This is shaping up to be another apocalypse. Perhaps even  _the_ apocalypse. There is no room for error."

"Oh my god!" Anya exclaimed suddenly, making everyone look her way. "I—I've found it! I've found my dress. Oh! Isn't this just the most beautiful thing you have ever seen in your entire life? I wish it were mine…" Smiling, her brows rose at their expressions. "What? I've been listening. Blah blah end of the world blah blah."

Xander grinned at her. "So what's the plan?"

"We prepare to fight." Buffy spoke up. "It's better than just sitting here feeling sorry for ourselves."

"I'm not feeling sorry for myself." Anya corrected her. "Do you wanna see my dress? Maybe that'll make you feel better."

_Oy vey_. "I think we should focus on the problem at hand. Hellmouth. Icky. Tentacles. We just need—" The bell over the front door chimed, and Willow slowly strolled back in. "Will?"

"Yeah?" She held up a hand before the blonde could speak. "I'm okay. Really. I—I just needed some air to clear my head and stuff. Sorry for storming out all dramatic soap opera actress like."

Her friend smiled. "It's okay. An—and we want you to know that we totally believe you are one kick ass Wicca. We—we just wanna cover all of our bases here."

"I know. Faith. I—sorry I got all snippy with you."

"No worries." The brunette remarked. "I probably had it comin' from days back anyway."

Standing, Buffy rubbed at the back of her neck and paced across the floor. "Okay so we'll scope out the school again and see if anything has changed. And then we'll—"

Running into the room with a cloud of smoke surrounding him, Spike came to an abrupt stop. He threw off the blanket and sighed, patting himself down. "Hello."

Xander snorted. "Would it be too much to ask that you get a hold of a thin cotton blanket just once?"

The vampire rolled his eyes. "No need to get cute." He hopped up onto the glass counter. "So what's with the pow wow?"

"As I was  _saying_ …" Buffy murmured, frowning. "We have to stay alert and stuff. Keep our ears to the ground for rumblings. I don't wanna fight that  _thing_  but if there is no other way…"

Her friends nodded in agreement. If it were fight or die, they'd always fight.

Spike slouched forward, his arms resting on his knees. "What are you people going on about?"

"It uh—appears the Hellmouth is going to open and that there is no way to stop it." Giles explained. "We are most likely going to have to fight."

"Well then, let's  _fight_  by gum!" He snickered. "What does the Hellmouth look like anyway?"

"Big. Three heads. Lots of slimy tentacles that it likes to wave around." Xander told him. "And all of those heads have sharp teeth that hopefully like vampire flesh."

"We'll see if you are saying that when I save your ass."

"If you save me while getting chomped on?  _Yup_."

"Xander you can't die! We have to get married." Anya frowned at him. "If you die how are we going to get married? Well…I suppose I could marry your corpse but that wouldn't be nearly as romantic. Besides I like you alive. You're warm and nice when you're alive, and sex is better with an alive person."

"Speak for yourself…" Spike smirked, cutting his eyes to Buffy. "Right?"

She scowled. "Why are you asking me?"

He shrugged. "You let Angel take a poke, didn't ya? Figured you could back me up on this."

Faith cracked her knuckles and stood. "How about my foot backs your nuts up your ass?"

Motioning to himself, he grinned. "Bring it on psycho bitch."

"I think you've forgotten something, chip head." She gave a smug grin. "It wouldn't be a fair fight. Not that it would've been one to start with…"

"Am I the only one who remembers that this chick is like, insane?" He glanced at all of their faces. "I seem to recall you Scoobies being quite upset that she was up and walkin' around again. Wanted my help to find the crazy lass."

Buffy sighed, folding her arms over her chest. "Shut up Spike, or I'll toss you out onto the sidewalk myself."

Faith shook her head. "It's aight, B. I don't think any of us are pretendin' that I haven't did the shit I've done. Guilty as charged. Doesn't bother me to hear."

The blonde watched her for a moment, wondering if that were really the case. "Maybe. But that doesn't mean we have to keep talking about it. We should be moving forward." Walking over, she took her hand with a smile. "C'mon. Let's go shopping."

"Ugh. I'd rather stay and listen to bleach head." The brunette groaned, but allowed herself to be pulled along. "What about research? Hittin' the books?"

"We have  _hopefully_  all night for that. Besides if and when the Hellmouth opens, I want a spiffy new outfit to fight it in." Buffy chirped happily, only half joking. As they neared the door, she lowered her voice. "I'll let you watch me try on really slutty stuff."

Before Faith could reply, Spike interrupted. "I like shopping!" He was ignored of course, which left him pouting where he sat.


	29. Where's Willow

Chapter Twenty-Nine: Where's Willow?

A week went by without much incident, and Buffy was glad for it. Faith was in good health again, their relationship was coasting along perfectly, and everyone seemed to be used to having her around now. Even with the threat of the Hellmouth opening looming over her head, she couldn't be  _too_  miffed about how her life was going. There would always be danger in the world, that's how just it was. But as long as she had people around her to fight it with, she was good.

But—yes there was a but unfortunately—Willow was acting a little strange.

Not glowering at Faith and making with the scowly forehead, but she acted like she had a secret. She hurriedly closed books when someone walked into the room, or was often heard muttering to herself. Maybe she was just going through something or trying to make super weapons for the up coming battle, whatever it was un-nerved the pretty Slayer though. Willow was usually the rock, not the one slowly coming undone.

As for the Hellmouth, well just yesterday there had been a minor earthquake and they all knew what that meant. The signs were all coming together. More demons slinking around, people acting weird and antsy, and not to mention that all around feeling of  _something bad is gonna happen_  that drifted throughout the air.

Still she tried to tell herself that it was  _just_  the Hellmouth beastie. She'd fought worse throughout the years. Glory had been way worst than that thing, and totally more buckets of crazy. Yet she'd defeated her and lived to fight another day. And this time she was ready, not all, caught off guardy or whatever.

So why then, when she wasn't letting things get to her, did she have this weird feeling in the pit of her stomach?

Frowning, she shook those thoughts away put her hands in her lap, chuckling at the sight of Dawn falling over as she tried to learn the moves Faith was teaching her. It was so nice to see her sister and her girlfriend getting along. To see Dawn  _actually_  wanting to hang out with her and stuff. Considering how annoying Dawn had been before she found out she was the Key, she hadn't expected the warm reception. But maybe her sister was growing up.

"Hey Buff? What cha doin'?" Xander inquired, as he existed through the kitchen, coming out onto the back porch where she was.

"Just thinking." She replied slowly. "About stuff."

He nodded and sat down beside her. "Stuff is good. I like stuff. And things…pretty fond of things."

She chuckled, tucking hair behind her ear. "I guess I'm still marvelin' at the sister monster and how well she's getting along with Faith. I'm kinda proud of her."

"Well Faith is of the sane variety now. It's not hard to be her friend." He said honestly. "Nothing kills a friendship faster than attempted murder."

Snorting, she bumped his shoulder. "Have you seen Willow today?"

"Nope. She's been kinda AWOL. I figured her and Tara are cuddlin' up or somethin'." He grinned widely. "I'm surrounded by lesbians. It's like I wrote to Playboy and my wish came true."

"Don't let Anya hear you say that. How is the wedding planning going by the way?"

"She's like a rabid little mouse with bridal magazines. She wants to invite her demons friends. I'm going out of my mind…plus she won't let me do anything. I might have ideas."

"I think you're the first guy who actually wants to help with the wedding."

"I didn't say I wanted to  _help_. I just…wanna pick out some napkins or somethin'."

"Have you set a date?"

"We're gonna see how this Hellmouth stuff goes down. And if we don't die, then set one."

"I've got a feeling it's gonna happen tomorrow night. Things are just too tense."

"Well we're as ready as we're ever gonna be. Maybe it won't be so bad. Or course the last time you guys fought this thing I was…"

"Yeah, let's have that train of thought be totally derailed. I love you but the thought of you and my girlfriend together makes me get sudden blindness."

"Heh, well if it's any conciliation, I don't remember a thing."

"Uh huh. You remember  _everything_."

"Okay I do." Pause. "Ow! What was that for?"

Buffy grinned at him after punching him in the arm. "I also get sudden punchy."

He snorted, but returned the grin. "Things between you and her going good?"

She nodded, her smile widening. "Is it weird? Sometimes I think it's weird and other things, I dunno, it feels so right."

He arched a brow. "You're askin'  _me_  if it's weird? I'm engaged to an ex vengeance demon, I think human on human relationships are weird."

Chuckling, she turned her attention back to Faith and her sister. At the time she hadn't been too keen on the idea of unexpectedly having a sister, but if it hadn't been for those monks making her into a girl, and then Glory trying to steal her away, she never would have ended up in Alter Sunnydale to meet stable Faith. She never would have discovered her Faith could be just as…non-stabby. Though she knew she should have took the blinders off long ago and been able to tell how much pain Faith was in to make her do what she did.

How she could have just gave up on her the way she did, she'll never truly know. She didn't wanna be all dwelly on the past but she didn't wanna just forget it either. Apart of her was somewhat terrified of repeating the mistakes she'd made back then. But it took two to have a superhuman death match on a roof, and she was proof positive that Faith did not wanna go there again. Not even for fun.

It felt comfortable knowing that the other Slayer had her back in whatever popped up. However now she had to be all worry wart when it came to her health. Performing a job where fists and weapons were constantly flying at your face was enough to get anyone not insured. She knew Faith was strong and could handle herself, but the worrying came with the territory. Just like it had with Angel and especially Riley since he'd been only human.

Of course she'd never try to let on—the brunette would just snort and blow it off anyway.

Yet for all of their progress, she wondered just how much of the  _real_  Faith was she getting? Her walls weren't as thick as they were usually, but they were still there. She still internalized certain issues rather than talking about them. But maybe that was just her way of dealing. After all, Buffy knew there were things she'd never understand about Faith.

She'd never understand the guilt she had to carry around about killing another human being.

She'd never understand the darkness in her soul that she fought against.

She'd never understand how it felt to grow up without anyone in her corner.

And of course she would never understand what it was like to be trapped in her own skin while hating it so much.

So she vowed to try extra hard to get the things she did comprehend. Even if they were totally trivial. It was the thought that counted after all.

~*~

When Faith fought, she would grunt sometimes from exertion. Or maybe just because she liked to grunt while stabbing things. However Buffy discovered that when they were in bed together, when she was kissing along her perfect breasts and caressing her perfect nipples, she'd release a series of breathy moans that totally betrayed the bad ass persona she portrayed. When she wasn't in control, she would totally give herself over to the other person and had confidence in them satisfying her. Though the blonde had a feeling it wasn't true of all of her partners, just the ones she trusted.

Still it was a beautiful sight to behold, Faith writhing on the bed and whispering her name in a voice that she didn't know she could possess. So soft and gentle, yearning in the sweetest way possible. And she'd clutch at her with slender fingers that left moderate bruises, as if trying to find an anchor in the storm of pleasure that she was feeling. It was like in those moments she was totally free, focusing on nothing but her own passion and how to make it last for as long as it could.

She looked breathtaking.

Buffy had to admit that she was proud of herself when it came to sex with Faith. She'd been sorta fumbly the first time she'd been in control, but it really was like riding a bike. It didn't take her long to discover the spots on her lover that made her whimper or moan loudly. Or to find out that she didn't have to hold anything back because Faith could take it all and then some.

She never tried to pull away and say it was too much, even if deep down she was about to go insane from sensation overload. Even if she was glistening with sweat with the sheets sticking to her body, and her muscles were turning into Jell-O pudding. She would just keep going, riding wave after wave of bliss. There was a better chance of the bed breaking than her.

But the best thing that Buffy found out when it came to Faith was that she loved the taste of her. All of her. In the back of her mind she'd worried that she wouldn't like it, but that hadn't been the case. Far from it actually. It was maybe weird to say but after one hit she was hooked.

Seeing Faith in a state of arousal was enough to make a paralyzed man walk again. She was able to contort her body into interesting positions, some quite raunchy if the mood called for it. Her back would arch and her hips would thrust, making her breasts jiggle with the effort. She'd grab at the sheets with one hand while wrapping the other in the blonde's hair, sometimes pulling her head back to the place where she needed it most. She would get so wet and her skin would get so hot, their connection flaring up like a volcano and rattling their bones. And when she came she'd curse like a sailor or her speech would dissolve into unintelligent whimpers that would bounce off the walls.

"You look happy."

Buffy snapped out of her thoughts, her cheeks pink. "Just thinkin' about what we just did and how amazing it was."

Faith smirked, stretching out her limbs. "Mmm. I feel… _used_. I like it."

"Good. I like using you."

"So I'm your new fav toy, huh?"

"Yup. How's your warranty by the way?"

"Life time guarantee. Quick fix it time too."

"Great. So I can break you a lot and not have to worry. Yay me."

"You should know though, I play rough with my toys too."

"Oh I know. I have the bruises to prove it. Or I would if they didn't heal all quick and stuff."

"Are we really havin' this conversation?"

"I think so. We're fun like that."

"Uh huh. So you stayin' over?"

Buffy tilted her head to the side, idling dragging her fingers up and down Faith's spine. "I might. I don't wanna leave Dawn home by herself all night, so if Will and Tara get back anytime soon I will."

The brunette nodded, her gaze on the wall. "Sounds good to me."

"What cha thinking?" The blonde inquired, noticing she had pensive face.

"About Angel. I need to give him a call or somethin', but I dunno what to say." She grumbled. "I just  _feel_  like I should call cause—cause he's my boy. Maybe when all of this Hellmouth shit is over, I'll go visit him."

"I'm sure he'd like that." Buffy replied. "I'd go with you but, I'm probably the last person he wants to see right now."

"I dunno. Fightin' and makin' up. Ain't that what you guys do?" Faith asked, rather amused. "I bet if you told him you needed him he'd come."

"Yeah but, this is different. When he found out about Riley and me, he was upset but it was expected I guess. And he didn't care about Riley, not the way he cares about you."

"In that case he'll be pissed at me. Not you."

"No. He thinks you deserve to be happy."

"But with the love of his life?"

"Faith…" Buffy sighed, wetting her lips. "I know you had front row seats to the Buffy and Angel show once upon a time, but it's different now. We discovered that things would never really work between us. We couldn't give each other what we really needed."

Pause. "You mean screwin'?"

"Well…that's part of it. We walk in two different worlds that just happen to clash sometimes. I never admitted it but sometimes I'd think about our future. How I'd just get older and older, and he'd always remain the same. He would have stayed with me but…well…it wouldn't have been fair to either of us." She explained softly. "But seventeen year old me didn't wanna hear that or believe in it. Seventeen year old me didn't wanna believe in a lot of stuff."

"Yeah…" The other girl said. "Well if ya wanna tag along I'd be glad to have ya. If I go that is."

"I  _should_  go. Apologize or whatever." Buffy mumbled as her brows knitted together. "Eh we'll see what happens."

"That seems to be the quote of the day." The brunette related.

"Well…it's all we can do really. Wait and see what happens. And hope it's in our favor."

~*~

Willow stepped over a broken desk and made a face, scrunching her nose up at the smell. Her  _fiat_   _lux_  spell was working perfectly, lighting the way throughout the ruined school. Being inside alone gave her the heebie jeebies, but she had a job to do. Well no—not so much a job as an idea that she wanted to try out before anyone else was around. Just a little spell that she was sure gonna tip the scales in their favor.

Of course she couldn't tell anyone about it. Not even Tara. Everyone was suddenly seeing magic as a bad thing, when it had totally helped them heaps in the past. Like—like with the calling on the first Slayer or re-souling Angel. But  _noo_ …now it was all "that could be dangerous" or "we should heed Faith's dream."

Well pfft to her dream. It didn't make sense for everyone to just take her at face value. Even Xander seemed to be forgetting everything that she did back when they were teenagers. Sure she may be all repenty now or whatever, but they were forgetting the fact that they were  _her_  friends. They should be on her side, supporting her, knowing that she was capable of performing one silly little spell.

But okay, they didn't want her doing anything to keep the Hellmouth closed then she wouldn't do anything. However no one said a word about doing something to make it smaller! Cause if like the second time they fought it and the creature was bigger, it made sense for it to be even more so this time. It might engulf the entire school and there was no way they could take on something so massive. So she was just gonna small it up and no one would even be the wiser.

Making her way down the rusty hall and towards the library, she slowly walked up to the edge and peered down into the large gaping hole. She dug into the pocket of her jeans, pulling out a small vial of green liquid. She had been researching for days to make sure that her potion was perfect; that the ingredients she added would do their job. After testing it on a potted plant and watching it not only shrink, but barely be able to hold its own leaves up, she knew things were even stevens.

"Here goes nothing." Tossing it into the abyss, she wet her lips and closed her eyes to concentrate. "Hear my call to let the mighty fall. Drained of strength and stature tall.  _Vegrandis ut magnus_."

A bright green light flashed and for a moment, she was blinded. However when it was over, everything remained the same and she grinned. "See? Things are totally fine." Proud of herself, she turned and headed for the exit.


	30. The Rising

Chapter Thirty: The Rising

A scream cut through the darkness and Faith seized tight, sitting straight up in her bed. Her chest heaved as she quickly glanced around to remember where she was, seeing the familiar surroundings of her apartment. She wiped a hand across her face and groaned, realizing that her small tank top was sticking to her body in a cold sweat. Very slowly she told herself it had just been a fucked up nightmare. A bad bit of pepperoni pizza that she'd had for dinner. But a little voice in the back of her head said it was never that cut and dry.

Throwing the covers off her legs, she stumbled up and into the bathroom. She splashed cold water on her face and slowly glanced up at her reflection, nearly falling into the tub at what she saw. At the ghostly, deformed creature staring back at her. Before she could get herself together enough to punch it, it disappeared and her visage was once again all that watched her.

"What the fuck!" She exclaimed, un-nerved. "Okay, somethin' weird is goin' on." Pinching her upper arm to make sure she was totally awake, she frowned at the red mark it left and the slight stinging pain.

Stalking back to her dresser, she threw on a clean shirt and pants, and was hopping out the door as she tried to put her shoes on. Once outside, she took off running down the quiet streets of Sunnydale and did not stop until she was banging on the door of the Summers' house. A few moments later the lights inside popped on and a sleepy looking Buffy opened the door.

"Faith? Wh—what's wrong? It's like three in the morning." She stood to the side and let her girlfriend in.

Faith itched at her forehead. "I just had the most jacked up nightmare, and then, I saw somethin' in my mirror."

"That's called your reflection. I know I know, sometimes mine scares me to. Especially early in the morning." The blonde teased lightly.

"B, I'm serious." She shook her head. "I dreamed…dude everyone was dead. It was like a sea of bodies just layin' in the street. Mouths open, eyes starin' at me, and someone was screamin'."

Buffy reached over and rubbed her cheek. "Baby it was just a dream. I've had some really bad ones over the years too. Can't help it with what we do every day."

The brunette narrowed her brows, but not angrily. "I think it was a Slayer dream. Yo, you know usually this shit doesn't bother me. It's what we do. But tonight…I'm freaked."

Realizing that she was, Buffy took her hand and led her over to the couch. "Tell me what it was about. Maybe it'll help if you get it out."

Sighing, Faith thought back. "Somethin' big had went down but I don't know what. Didn't show up for that part. I was walkin' down the street, things were on fire and everythin' was seriously fucked up. And then I saw the bodies. Jesus B, they were  _everywhere_. Just layin' in the road all bloody and bruised."

"Anyone we know?"

"Everyone we know."

"Was I there?"

"No. I looked for you but I couldn't find you."

"And then what happened?"

"I tried to help, see if anyone was still alive. Then someone started screamin' and…I woke up."

"What makes you think it was a Slayer dream?"

"It felt like—like somethin' that was gonna happen. And then that thing in the mirror when I was  _wide_  awake?"

"Hm. I suppose it could have something to do with the Hellmouth. Do you want to go check on it?"

Exhaling deeply, she thought on that for a moment. "Kinda. Kinda not."

Smiling slowly, Buffy kissed her lips softly. "I'm gonna call Giles and the others. Better safe then sorry." Getting up, she disappeared into the kitchen.

Faith ran a hand through her long dark hair, forcing herself to her feet. Sittin' didn't help. Needed to pace. So she did, from the mantle to the dining room table. She rummaged in the pockets of her jacket, thankful to find two cigarettes in a pack she'd long forgot about. Flicking her lighter, she lit one up and took a long drag. The nicotine helped her nerves a bit, but not enough.

What the hell kinda whacked up dream was that? And why was it wigglin' behind her eyeballs like an Earthworm? Maybe she was just spooked cause the Hellmouth was gonna open soon. Though she didn't feel  _spooked_  over that. It'd open, they'd slay, then screw to work off the steam. No, there had to be some other reason as to why she was wiggin' out. But what?

Chewing on her full bottom lip, she glanced out of the window, the scene from her nightmare flashing behind her big brown eyes. So many fucken bodies. Not to mention the shit she'd kept from B so as not to freak her out. The gory details of how Giles was the first she'd found. Lying over by the curb with a bloody smile across his throat so deep it'd severed his spinal cord. Then she'd saw Anya and Tara, their faces twisted in silent screams of agony, their hearts ripped from their bodies. Xander had been face down in a pool of his own fluids, beaten so badly she could only recognize the back of his head. Poor Dawnie…someone had strung her up on a street lamp and just let her hang until she choked too death. And she figured the pile of ashes by her had been Spike.

Wait…she hadn't seen Willow.

That was weird, right? The entire Scoobie screw pushin' up daises cept for the witch. Course she could have worked the mojo to stay alive, but there was doubt of that bein' what happened. Especially with the way she'd been actin' bout wantin' to do the hocus pocus and shit.

_Aight chick, don't jump to conclusions. Don't even step to them. Get cha facts straight first_.

About fifteen minutes passed before everyone could awake fully and make their way over to the Summers' residence. Buffy put on a pot of coffee for those that wanted it, and then they all gathered in the living room so that Faith could fill them in on her dream.

No one was surprised when Anya spoke up first. "I once had a dream that I was a princess and Xander was a pirate, and he kidnapped me and took me back to his pirate ship. Or course…I didn't wake everyone up in the middle of the night to tell them."

"Did he stab you on his ship?" When the ex demon shook her head, Faith smirked. "I win."

Giles sipped his coffee from the small white mug. "And you are certain this was some type of prophetic dream?"

"No." She admitted. "I'm not sure of jack shit, cept it made me feel screwed up inside. I've seen some fucked up shit in my day…this takes the cake for now."

Xander yawned loudly, rubbing at his still not fully alert eyes. "Maybe it has something to do with the Hellmouth. We're pretty much all in agreement that it's gonna open on a day that is soon."

Tara nodded in agreement. "Right. May—maybe you are feeling vibes or something. From the energy."

"I'm not feeling anything." Buffy said slowly. "And I've been here for a long time. Why would it skip me and go to Faith?"

The brunette cracked her knuckles. Good question. "Could be any reason, B. The spell that Rack guy did, the one you did to fix me. That dream I had with Carly givin' me the warnin'."

"But there was no magic done so her warning was totally heeded." Dawn related, glancing around. "Right?"

Everyone nodded except for Faith. She turned her attention to Willow, tilting her head to the side. "You sure you didn't do a little somethin' somethin'?"

The red head frowned. "No. And I'm a little upset that you'd just totally jump to me as your escape goat thingie."

"Not what I'm doin', Red. Just tryin' to make sure all of our bases are covered so that no one dies."

"Right. Cause you care who lives or dies.  _Now_."

"I get it. You don't trust me and ya don't want me here. Fair enough. But dig this, I ain't goin' anywhere so you might as well learn to repress your outrage like everyone else."

"I know that you and Buffy are together, and I'm handling it. I just—don't come here like you  _know_  all because you had some dream. You don't know…and you don't know me anymore. I'm not that girl whose throat you held a knife to."

"Good. Cause I'm not the girl who held a knife to ya throat anymore."

Frowning, Buffy waved her hand. "Okay this isn't helping anything. I think we should go to the school and make sure the Hellmouth hasn't opened yet."

Giles nodded sagely. "I think that would be pertinent. Better safe than sorry."

~*~

"Spike. What are you doing here?" Buffy rolled her eyes. She shouldn't have been surprised to find him hiding behind a tree in her front yard, but she was. That was total peeping tom creepy.

 

He glanced to everyone, lifting a brow. "Where ya headed?"

She sighed. "Not that it's any of your business, but we're gonna go check on the Hellmouth."

He cracked a grin. "Think I'll join ya. After all, you could use the extra muscle, right?"

A part of her wanted to slap him across his smug face, but the other part knew he was telling the truth. So without another word, she turned and motioned for everyone to continue on their way. Idly she glanced at Faith, then grabbed her hand and entwined their fingers together. She looked troubled; the gears in her head were definitely turning. Buffy knew that Faith wore masks to protect herself from emotional vulnerability, but even in the past there were times when she'd been able to see past them. But never this clearly. There was probably a lot more to her dream than she was letting on, otherwise it didn't make sense for her to be all upset.

Still she wasn't gonna pry. Faith needed her secrets for a reason…to protect herself until she felt safe enough to bust down the walls. Forcing her to reveal them would only reinforce the bricks.

Turning her attention to Willow, she pursed her lips together. She couldn't quite understand why her best friend couldn't get over the past. Angel had tried to kill her but eventually she'd warmed up to him again. What was it about Faith that kept her from being the sweet person they all knew she could be? If they survived what was to come, she was totally find that out.

Just as the  _Expresso_   _Pump_  came into view, a deafening rumbling suddenly over took the quiet. Everyone stopped and looked around; trying to see what direction it was coming from. Spike tilted his chin up and sniffed the air, frowning at whatever he smelled. Before he could alert the others as to what might be going on, the concrete pavement began to crack straight down the middle towards them. It rippled under their feet and a large section drove up from underneath the ground, sending them all tumbling over to the side.

"What's going on?!" Tara shouted, pulling herself to her feet.

"It's the Hellmouth!" Spike replied. He pushed Dawn behind him so that she would be safe.

Xander blinked, confusion written all over his face. "Huh? How? It—it could never do this before." He helped Anya up, staring at the cement as more parts splintered like a spider web down the block.

A long slimy tentacle shot out of the ground the size of a large tree trunk, falling down hard onto a car and crushing it. Giles stared dumbfounded for a moment, his fingers tightening around the axe in his hand. "Good God. It's a giant. How could this happen?"

People started running from their houses screaming as other tentacles burrowed their way up through the Earth. It was like a deadly octopus trying to pull the town down into the depths of its sea.

"We've gotta get to the school!" Buffy yelled. "Try to kill it before it pulls itself free! Xander, you, Anya and Dawn stay here and  _be_  careful." Not waiting for a reply, she took off running towards the demolished Sunnydale High School.

She could hear footsteps behind her so she knew she weren't alone. And she could feel the warmth in her stomach like a volcano, so she didn't even have to look back to know Faith was right with her. As they neared the school, she gasped at the sight before her. The building was breaking apart at the seams like a shirt ripped down the middle. It trembled and groaned as spiky feelers pushed out of the broken down windows, trying to rip themselves free.

Spike frowned deeply. "Holy shit…  _That's_  the Hellmouth?"

"No…" Buffy whispered. "That's just its fingers. C'mon." Talking herself up, she hurried inside, dodging falling debris until she came to the library.

Thankfully the monster itself wasn't in view, but they could all hear it screeching shrilly and feel it shuddering beneath their feet.

Giles pushed his glasses onto his nose. "Aim for the tentacles!"

And they did.

Willow and Tara took to the right, hitting at anything that moved with their maces, cringing when dark ooze squirted from the wounds. Giles and Spike took the few at the left, battling them back towards the charred bookcases. Buffy and Faith headed straight for the middle, chopping at any and everything with their silver swords.

"This ain't gonna work!" Faith screamed, grunting as she tore into a tentacle before it crashed down onto her. "We destroy one and two more pop up!"

"We have to try!" Buffy shouted defiantly, refusing to give up. "If this thing gets out, it's over!"

Growling, the brunette shook the hair out of her face and flipped backward, just as the floor in front of her crumbled into the ever-widening hole like wet dirt. She yanked the dagger out of her pocket and hurled it at Giles, striking the feeler that had crept up behind him. He jerked but nodded when he saw what she'd done, silently thanking her.

Having no weapon of his own, Spike was wrestling one while half riding it. He used his bare hands to rip at pieces of the gloppy flesh, crying out when it sent him flying through the wall and into the hallway.

Willow could feel the urge to use magic building inside of her, but she forced it down. She had a sinking feeling that perhaps this particular incident was her fault. Of course it didn't have to be. Maybe the Hellmouth had just grown. She swung her mace as hard as she could, yelping when the spiked ball got stuck in gooey skin. A fireball would make this all go so much easier!

She didn't have time to focus on conjuring up one however, for Tara's shriek made her turn just in time to see her girlfriend trip over a burnt desk and fall to the ground. "Tara!"

As if it just  _knew_ , a pointed tentacle drove at the blonde witch, heading straight for her chest. She screamed and held out her hand, her mind blank on what spell to use to protect herself. Willow screeched out a chant but nothing happened, and next she was scrambling to reach the love of her life before she was speared.

Tara squealed and everything went quiet for a brief moment. She waited for the strike that would kill her, and blinked slowly when it didn't. Faith stood in front of her, one hand holding to the large thorn in her stomach while the other held the sword that had chopped off the feeler itself.

"Faith!" Buffy immediately abandoned her fighting and rushed over, catching the brunette as she sunk to the ground. "Oh God, Faith!" She grasped the thorn and yanked, pulling it out. Blood poured from the open wound and she ripped off her jacket, tying it securely around the other Slayer's abdomen. "You're gonna be okay! I promise."

Faith managed a grin. "I'm good, B. Ke—keep fightin'."

But Buffy shook her head. "No, I'm getting' you out of here. Giles! Pull back!" Slinging Faith's arm around her neck, she hauled her up and quickly started for the door.

Spike joined her mid way and took the brunette's other arm, surprised when she didn't put up a fuss about it. Giles brought up the rear, ushering Willow and Tara in front of him. Outside the chaos was not much better, with random buildings on fire and the roar of the unknown sounding from under their feet. Xander and the others joined them as they made their way out, and they hobbled the best they could to the Magic Shop.

Once inside, Buffy laid Faith on the floor and ran to get the first aid kit. Giles lifted her shirt and examined the wound, frowning at the white tissue muscles he could see. Still Slayers healed fast so she would more than likely be all right.

"Here!" Buffy all but shoved the kit into his hands. "Faith…" She put her girlfriend's head in her lap and gently stroked her hair. "You couldn't let me out do ya huh? Had to get stabbed too…"

Faith snorted, wincing in pain. "Actually ya know, you copied me first. This is my third time ridin' the stabby pony. I think I have a problem…"

Dawn knelt down beside her, watching Giles work. "You're in the wrong profession."

"Thank you." Tara said softly. "You—you saved my life."

"Welcome. Sure you'd have did the same for me…" The ex-con replied, sighing deeply.

"Faith?" Willow's voice was low. "I—I'm sorry for—I'm sorry."

"No worries."

"No I—I shouldn't have acted like a giant poop head. And even after you… Well don't worry. There will be no more poop head Willow from here on out."

"Good to know."

Anya wet her lips from her place by the window, staring out through the lowered bars. "What are we going to do? Godzilla is outside destroying our Tokyo and unless someone has a canon in their pants, I don't know how we are going to win. I say we pack up, move to Hawaii and call it a night. Oh Xander, we can get married on the beach!"

"I don't understand the erratic magnitude at which the beast has grown." The Watcher continued with his patching up of Faith. "It does not make sense. The vastness of its size does not figure into my calculations. At best it would be as big as the library, not the entire school."

"Guess you messed up or something…" Buffy shrugged. "Which in hinds sight could have gotten us killed but hey, everyone has an off day."

Clearing her throat, Willow fiddled with her fingers. "Um I—I might know why." Heads turned her way and she shrunk in on herself, trying to be smaller. "I—um you see—there might have been a—a little—very teeny tiny—spell."

"What?" Buffy frowned at her. "You did a spell? When?"

"After you said not to…" The witch sighed. "I—I just thought I could help! Make things go smoother. And it wasn't a spell to stop it from opening so I…thought everything would be okay. I'm sorry."

"Willow! How could you do this?" The blonde snapped. "We  _told_  you that magic would screw things up. We were warned against it and then you—you pull this stunt behind our backs! What if someone had gotten killed? What if this thing tears apart the entire town because of what you did!"

"I'm sorry! I was—I was feeling…"

"You just wanted to go against Faith. Prove she didn't know what she was talking about."

"Yes I—a little. It's just; no one seemed to trust  _me_ all of a sudden! I—I'm supposed to be your best friend and you acted like I didn't know what I was doing because of her."

"I was trusting her dream. If her dream had said let Willow turn everyone into frogs, I would have gone with that too."

"I know she's in your life now bu—but it feels like you're pushing me away!"

"How am I doing that? I wouldn't even be here if it weren't for you. You are the one who can't seem to come around. God, Willow you are one of my best friends. I need you. I've  _always_ needed you."

"I need you too!" Tears flooded her blue eyes. "I'm sorry! I—I never meant for anyone to get hurt. Especially not Faith."

Buffy slowly let Dawn take over her head holding duties and stood. "I know Will, I know." She hugged her friend even though her anger had not even begun to dissipate. But she'd focus on that when they were all safe.

However judging by the noises outside and what they saw in the school, she didn't know if that was going to be possible this time.

"Guys we need a  _serious_  plan. Or a really big weapon." She rubbed at her forehead. "What are we going to do?"

Spike spoke up. "I'm with the ex demon over there. Cept maybe not Hawaii…too much sun."

"If we don't stop it here, it'll consume the world." She bit at her bottom lip. "Maybe we could blow it up like we did the Mayor. Or—or perform some kinda ritual with the bones of the Master. I mean it went away that other time after he died."

"Whatever we are going to do, I suggest we do it soon…" Giles related slowly. "We don't have much time before the Hellmouth drags itself forth. And then I fear we shall never be able to defeat it…"


	31. Sun In Sunnydale

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanna say thanks again for the kudos and comments. Glad you guys enjoyed it! =)

Chapter Thirty-One: Sun In Sunnydale

The Scoobies were scattered around the Magic Box, desperately looking through this book or that book, trying to find a way to stop the carnage outside. So far they had come up with nothing that was very useful, just a bunch of spells that would slow the Hellmouth down but not close it again. In the meantime, the Earth shook as if with the footsteps of a giant, and the tentacles kept burrowing like blood sucking tics.

Buffy sighed, rubbing at her forehead and the headache that thumped behind her eyes. She slowly crossed the room over to where Faith stood, holding her stomach and staring out of the window. Her face was completely devoid of emotion, but her eyes were cold as ice. No doubt she was hearing the screams and flashing back to her dream.

"You okay?" Buffy asked, tucking brown hair behind her ear. "We got a few more pain killers I think."

Faith exhaled deeply. "I'm aight. Just…wonderin' what we're gonna do about this mess. It's so damn massive."

"I know what you mean. But when we went up against Glory it seemed like we couldn't win." She explained slowly. "But we did. And I think a crazy hell God with a bad home perm trumps a three headed monster."

The brunette snorted, but grinned in spite of herself. "It's the mouth of hell, B. Ain't neither a walk in the park." Wetting her lips, she glanced to the other girl. "But ya know, there is no where else I'd rather be than throwin' down with you. Kinda like old times cept we're on the same side."

Buffy kissed her cheek softly. "Don't go getting all sappy on me like we're goin' to go down in a big blaze of glory. There will be plenty of time for us to become the sickeningly sweet couple that people want to punch." Cupping her face, she smoothed her thumbs on her skin. "I'm glad you are here, though. I'm glad for a lot of things these days and most revolve around you."

"Now who's gettin' sappy?"

"You started it."

"Since when are you a follower?"

"I—shut up."

"Ooh snappy comeback. What happened to all those witty puns ya used to throw around back in the day?"

"Been kinda punned out the last few years."

"You gotta get back on the horse."

"We live through this, and I will."

Suddenly Willow's frenzied  _ooh_  broke through their conversation. She leapt up from her chair and bounced on her toes, nearly dropping the book in her hands. "I—I found something! It—well it's not really a good something now that I am continuing to read on, in fact maybe I should just skip it and move on to something else. Yeesh."

"At least tell us what it is first." Xander grinned. "Anything that gets a  _yeesh_  deserves to be known and yeeshed by everyone."

Nodding, she cleared her throat. "So we need enough power to close the Hellmouth but we aren't sure how to—to go about getting it. Well we—we could use someone as a sort of battery. Funnel power through that person directly into the giant hole where the monster is gonna rise out of."

"Who could we use to do that?" Buffy inquired slowly. "It sounds kinda dangerous."

The red head wet her lips. "Actually I think it would be more dangerous for the people funneling rather than the funnel-ee. An—and I know you won't like this but—well—Dawn would be perfect."

"You're right. I don't like it." The blonde frowned, shaking her head. "There has to be another way. I'm not gonna put her in the line of fire like that."

Dawn folded her arms over her chest. "Why do I win the  _close the Hellmouth_  lottery?"

Willow looked to her. "Because you used to be a key.  _The_  key. Yo—you're human now but whatever magic that you had before is still swimming around inside of you. All I would have to do is tap into it and point it at the dimension that the creature is trying to crawl out of. Sorta like flipping a switch."

She nodded, chewing on the inside of her cheek. "You said it would be more dangerous for you. How?"

"Once you start charging up, there is a good chance you won't wanna power down when it's over. You could end up…draining my life force and turning me into a head of cabbage."

"Oh. I think my stomach just dropped."

Giles cleaned his glasses for the ninth time. "This is a very precarious situation."

Anya shrugged. "I for one am all for it. Let's give her a drum and some sunglasses."

"Why?" Faith tilted her head to the side.

The ex demon sighed, annoyed. "Like that stupid, evil little bunny on the commercials who controls the batteries. He has a drum and sunglasses. Duh."

"Right. You're so weird." The brunette chuckled, wincing in slight pain. "Aight so what's the verdict? The screams are only gettin' louder."

Feeling the urge to move, Buffy began to pace in front of the glass counter. She brought a hand up to her neck and tried to think, tried to force her brain to come up with a solution that didn't involve putting her sister and her best friend at serious risk. Maybe she could be the battery. That would be easier…she was used to putting her own life on the line. She was gonna start having t-shirts printed up with that as her logo.  _Will put life in danger for a good time_.

She almost wished Ben/Glory was still alive so that he…she…they could close the Hellmouth themselves. Thinking on it more, she would rather fight a Hell God than that three-headed slime machine any day. But she knew she needed to face facts. If they didn't act quickly it didn't matter who funneled what because they'd all be dead.

"Dawn? It—it's your decision." She finally said after a few moments. "Whatever you decide it—it's okay."

The young teen exhaled deeply. "I—I wanna do it. You guys have put yourselves on the line to save me so many times. I—it's the least I can do to try to repay the favor." She gazed to Willow. "I'll try really hard not to turn you into anything leafy or green."

The Wicca grinned and crossed over to her, giving her a big hug. "I trust you, Dawnie. And hey, even if you do it'll be okay. I sorta created this mess so it's up to me to fix it."

Tara glanced down to her hands. "Don't worry Dawn. I—I'll help you fo—focus."

Xander itched at his hair. He wasn't a fan of the plan, but he was almost used to the  _no choice_  mantra they usually had to chant. "How do we go about doing this?"

Willow gestured to the walls. "I'll need a few ingredients, and then we should head back to the school. The closer we are the better chance it'll have of not going kablooie."

"What about the crazy arms?" Faith asked. "You gonna need us to run interference there?"

She nodded, her expression strained. "Yeah. Just…keep them away from Dawn and I. Go nuts with the chopping."

As the others hurried to fetch whatever Willow would need for her spell, Buffy grabbed Faith's wrist and pulled her aside. "Are you gonna be good to fight? It would be okay if you stayed behind."

The ex-con smirked. "You know that ain't an option for me, B. I go where you go."

Although it warmed her heart, the blonde couldn't push down her anxiety over the impaling incident. "And I—I want you with me, right there beside me. But I also don't want you to get hurt even worse. I'd never forgive myself if—if you…died."

"I'm not gonna die." She leaned, placing a soft kiss to the other girl's lips. "That I can promise ya. We got a lot of time to make up for, I wouldn't be stupid enough to bite it and miss the good stuff. 'Sides if I die, who are you gonna have victory sex with afterwards?"

At that very moment, Spike walked by with a chicken foot in one hand and a jar of newt eyes in the other.

Both girls laughed, and Buffy allowed herself a minute of quietness. She rested her head to Faith's chest, listening to the hard thud of her heartbeat. Even with everything that was going on, it was slow and steady like a thick drum. Reassuring. As long as she could press her ear to this spot and hear the rising  _thump thump_ , she would be all right.

God help her if silence ever droned back at her.

_No. No sad, weepy thoughts_. "Faith…I…" Trailing off, she gazed up into impossibly dark brown eyes. "Whatever happens, I want you to know that I regret nothing. That it's you—it's always been you. You're the only one who could really get me. I know in the past I've been a total bitch and made you feel like you were less than I am. Like I was superior. But—truth is—you're the only equal I have ever had."

"Thought we weren't doin' the  _if I croak_  speeches?" Faith smiled a little, trying to keep the mood light. "You don't gotta apologize for the past. We acted like fools and made our own paths. I'm just glad we get a like, seventh chance to be who we were meant to be. The Chosen two…"

"I do you know. Choose you."

"Wicked. Cause I choose you too. Now, let's go kick some Hellmouth ass."

~*~

Willow was scared. She wasn't exactly scared of dying or being in a coma for the rest of her life, though. She was mostly scared of never being able to see Tara again. Of being able to kiss her or touch her, make love to her. These were the thoughts that nailed themselves into her brain as she stood in what used to be the cafeteria, listening to the thunderous roar of the creature a few doors down.

She felt like a giant stupid head for doing that spell and possibly killing everyone she loved, just to prove a point. If she could go back in time and undo it, she totally would. But now all she could do was hope that this spell fixed her mess and put everything right as rain again.

"I might pee myself." She whispered to Tara. "Wh—what if I mess up? What if I turn Dawn into a lawn chair?"

Tara smiled gently, hugging her shoulders. "I have faith in you, Will. Yo—you can do this. And I—I'll be right here with you."

"I love you." Willow kissed her soundly. "I'll never stop loving you."

"I love you too." Her girlfriend said softly. "You're the best part of me."

Dawn grinned from where she stood watching. She hoped to find someone like that one day who made her so happy. Sighing, she looked to the others. Xander was clutching an axe and standing by the door with Anya, gazing out into the ashy hallway. Spike was near the front lunch line, lighting up a cigarette and taking a healthy drag. His eyes were trained on Buffy and Faith were they stood with matching swords, saying nothing but just staring at each other intently.

The entire building was shaking violently with tentacles crashing into a wall at any given moment to escape. Giles was manning the chalk circle closest to them, his brows furrowed in concentration. She remembered what it was like on that tower, feeling her life flash before her eyes. She had been willing to jump to save the world. She'd always thought of herself as just some annoying little sister to a great hero, but maybe she was kinda a hero herself.

"We should do this before it's too late." The words flowed out of her mouth. "I'm ready."

"I love you, Dawnie." Buffy said; her voice filled with hope.

"I love you." Her sister replied. "And you so owe me when this is over!"

Willow cracked her knuckles and inhaled, slowly sitting on the dirty floor. She reached into the brass bowl before her and coated her fingers in the black liquid, then smeared it on her cheeks and forehead. The flames on the small red candles flickered, and she swallowed hard to gain her nerve. Dawn turned and faced the general Hellmouth direction, forcing her eyes to remain open.

"I call upon the power within me, bright and burning hot. Leave my being, for the vessel is strong and worthy. She accepts my offering. She is  _the κλειδί_." She said over the rumbling. "Give her the power! By the Goddess, give her the power!"

A whooshing sounded and Dawn gasped as every part of her body began to tingle. White light filled her pores, filled her completely until she was almost made of it. It glowed so brightly that everyone had to shield their eyes. She felt warm and strong, like the single batting of her eyelash could explode some desolate world into a new universe. She didn't fight it as the power flowed into her, as it seeped into her very soul and illuminated it behind her eyelids.

She wanted it so badly, possibly more than she had ever wanted anything in her life. But a tiny voice in the back of her head said that it wasn't really hers. That she was just borrowing it. And she tried very hard to focus on the reality of the situation so that she didn't hurt Willow.

_Willow_.

The red head was hunched over her make shift altar, watching as gold wisps of tinkling stars drifted out of her skin. She could already feel her energy waning; it made her tremble as if she were cold. Idly she felt a soft hand on her shoulder, and she didn't have to look up to know it was Tara. Helping to keep her grounded.

"Find…the…Hellmouth…" She whispered, her throat tight. "Force it…back…down."

_I can do this_. Dawn told herself.  _I am the power_.

She closed her eyes and pictured the monster in her mind, and suddenly she was before it in a dark cavern. Or apart of her was before it, like an astral projection. It was  _huge_  like some fiend you'd see in a horror movie! Dripping slime and mucus, trying desperately to crawl its way up out of the Earth, its three heads thrashing around angrily.

Lifting a hand, she imagined the green swirl of light she used to be and thrust it out at it. It jumped from her like a bolt of lightning, surrounding the beast several times over and tightening like a thick rope. It screamed and pushed harder against its confines, snapping at some invisible enemy it couldn't see, only feel. Dawn set her lips in a tight line and kept driving the glow forward, even as tiny cuts began to appear on her arms.

… _Meanwhile_ …

"Duck!" Xander shoved Anya down just as a long tentacle slammed into the doorway right above her head. He swung out with his axe at it as hard as he could, his face a mask of fear and determination as she helped him with her sharp dagger. "Die you pus filled worm!"

"Spike! Keep Dawn and Willow safe!" Buffy shouted, covering Faith's back as she rolled to avoid being thrown across the room.

"It knows we are trying to stop it!" Giles related. He watched as two feelers burst up through the floor.

Faith grunted and drove her sword through a smaller one. "Smart Hellmouth. Ah!" She crashed to the floor as another wrapped around her ankle and yanked. "Get the fuck off me!"

Buffy chopped it off, quickly helping her up. She glanced to Dawn, frowning at the red tinges on her arms. "Come on, Dawn! You can do this!"

Tara knelt beside Willow, her lashes fluttering as a strong wind kicked up in the room, sending pieces of honey colored hair whipping around her pale cheeks. She shuddered at the sight of her girlfriend, her chest fighting to take in air as she started to age rapidly. Her red locks turning gray. Her youthful skin becoming cracked and blotchy with wrinkles.

"Willow!" She cried out. "Just hang on, baby! I've got you!"

A scream mixed with the wailing, and Spike smashed into several tables that had managed to survive the explosion. He made himself get up and shook off the dizziness, picking up a jagged piece of wood. Diving at a tentacle that darted towards the witches, he stabbed and slapped until it was nothing but a twitchy mass of tissue on the floor. He then smirked at it and came to stand beside Giles, looking as if he were having the time of his life.

"Buffy!" Tara was frantic. "We—we have to st—stop! It—it's killing Willow!"

The blonde ran over, concern on her face. "Wh—what? Oh my god, Will…"  _She looks like an eighty year old_. "Willow! Can you hear me?!"

"T—Tara…" She whispered, her lids closing. "C—cold."

"Dawn you have to stop!" Buffy yelled. She grabbed her shoulder and squealed as a surge of energy sprinted from her body and into her sister's. Jerking back, she glanced at her hand, ignored the tingling and placed it back. "Unh! Fi—finish it, Dawn. Hu—hurry!"

"I can see it…" Dawn replied slowly. "The Hellmouth I—I can see it. It—it's fighting me. It's so powerful."

Moaning, Buffy dropped to her knees, her fingers wrapping around the teen's ankle. "Release Willow, an—and use me"

"I don't know how!" She related. "I'm gonna close this thing once and for all!"

Suddenly Willow screamed and fell over as Tara dragged her out of the circle. Her normal appearance came back so fast that it was nearly staggering to those watching. Now taking the brunt of the spell, Buffy curled into a ball and just let herself be drained.

Faith, who had been helping Anya and Xander, wasted not even a second thought of what to do when she noticed what was happening. She threw herself into the circle with all her weight, ignoring the pain in her abdomen. "B!" Picking up the blonde's head, she placed it in her lap. "Shit… Here goes nothing." Wetting her lips, she latched onto Dawn's other leg. "Anytime now, Brat!"

… _Down below_ …

The power of the Slayers was almost two much for Dawn to take, it literally made her muscles ache. Her astral self fell to her knees and she shrieked, detecting as she began to change shape. In the blink of an eye she was a pulsing ball of green energy, igniting every dark corner that she could. With a growl, she hurled herself at the flailing beast and set its flesh a sizzle, making it draw in all of its tentacles from wherever they might have been.

It howled in pain but she refused to give up, seeing the scene in the cavern and in the cafeteria as if she were in two places at once. Technically she was. She saw Buffy and Faith aging not very gracefully while feeding her power. She saw Giles and Spike fighting back the feelers as they retreated, while Xander and Anya huddled around Willow and Tara.

With a loud slurp, the Hellmouth disappeared into the seedy bowels of the Earth, screeching as it went. Although she wanted nothing more than to remain a radiant source of warmth, Dawn relinquished everything. It sent her reeling back to her body like a meteor crashing to the planet, and she tumbled forward with a raspy moan. A deafening boom sounded behind her as everything went white…and then all was calm.

Anya was the first to speak. "Are we alive?"

Xander chuckled and wiped the dirt off her cheek. "I think so…"

"Willow?" Tara whispered. "Wi—Willow?"

"I'm here." The Wicca coughed, feeling enervated. "Hey. I—I'm not cabbage. Di—did it work?"

"I think so." Giles rubbed the back of his neck. "It's quiet."

"Bloody hell…" Spike growled and lifted his boot. "I stepped in Hellmouth." Pause. "Way to go, nibblet."

Dawn chuckled weakly, managing to sit up. Something creaked in the distance and she blinked. "We should get out of here be—before this place crashes down on us." A beat. "Buffy? Wh—where's Buffy? An—and Faith?"

Suddenly Spike could care less about his shoes. "Buffy? Buffy!"

Xander glanced to the floor, his eyes wide. "Nobody move! Check for carrots with hair!"

~*~

_Thump thump…thump thump…thump thump_

Buffy slowly opened her green eyes, smiling when she realized what the sound was. She was half on top of Faith with her head tucked underneath her chin. She sighed and snuggled to her warm body, feeling a soft breeze caress her cheek. For some reason she felt very relaxed and content, like everything was as it should have been. Like it was just a nice day outside, and all she had to do was enjoy it to the fullest. Which she could totally do as long as Faith was with her.

Blinking up at the clear blue sky, she idly began dragging her fingers up and down the brunette's side. She shivered and purred lightly, a dimpled smile breaking out on her pretty face. "I think we fell asleep."

"Yeah." Faith murmured. "I had a whack dream, man. The Hellmouth opened and we had to fight it…"

Erm. "And we used Dawn as a battery?"

"Yeah. How didja know?" The brunette inquired. "Wait…"

They both sat up with rapid speed, speaking in unison. "It wasn't a dream!"

Buffy glanced around. "Wh—where are we? What is going on?"

"I don't know…" The ex-con itched at her neck, looking to her stomach. "I'm all healed. Which is wicked good, but…"

Standing, the blonde brushed off the back of her jeans. "On—one minute we were in the cafeteria and now we're outside. Somewhere."

"Maybe there was an explosion and the others dragged us out."

"Then where are they? Willow! Xander! Giles!"

"Dawn? Tara?"

"This is too weird. Come on."

"Where are ya goin'?"

"Find out what the hell is going on. What if everyone is dead? Or we got blew back in time or somethin'? If I'm sixteen again I will kill someone!"

Faith laughed and followed her off the curb and down the street, noticing how everything looked totally joe normal. "B, nothin' is outta place. Maybe we were so dead from the epic throw down that we crashed outside. I once had this buddy who used to get drunk and sleep in his bushes. Well until he was attacked by a raccoon."

Buffy laughed despite herself. "Remind me to never sleep in bushes then." Hugging her waist, she sighed and nibbled at her bottom lip. "The street was cracked and things were on fire. But there's no flamey."

"Sure they put 'em out or whatever." Faith mused, motioning to where people were going about their business. "We should go by ya crib. Bet everyone is there wonderin' where the hell we are."

"Yeah…" Pushing strands of yellow out of her face, she jogged over to where a young woman was sitting on a bench. "Um, excuse me, but this is Sunnydale right?"

The female nodded with a grin. "Yup! All the time. And it's such a nice place to live."

"Wh—this is probably gonna sound weird but—what year is it?" She inquired, praying she didn't say 1990-anything.

"2002." Giggled the woman. "Are you okay? You look confused."

_Thank God_! "No just…rough night."

Nodding, the girl glanced at her watch. "Oh heavens! We're gonna be late!"

"Late for what?" Faith asked, tilting her head to the side as she strolled up.

"Faith! I—I was just going I swear. I wouldn't miss one of his weekly addresses for anything in the world." Pause. "You're out rather early though. No—not that you can't be. I'm sorry!"

The brunette glanced to Buffy, arching a brow. "No worries. Where ya headed?"

Blinking, the stranger thumbed behind her. "To the Mayor's weekly address on citizenship and cleanliness of course. Mayor Wilkins hates it when people are late so…" Smiling nervously, she hurried off.

"The Mayor…" Buffy went pale. "I—I don't think we're in  _our_  Sunnydale anymore."

"Why not?" Faith frowned, the first crack in her usual calm demeanor showing.

Wetting her lips, the blonde pointed up to a large billboard that she'd just became aware of hanging over the  _Expresso Pump_. There was Mayor Wilkins in his car salesman suit, grinning widely and waving friendlily at what would have been a camera.

Beside his picture were the words  _Keeping the "sun" in Sunnydale since 1999!_

Faith grunted. "This can't be good  _at_  all. Especially not for you if he's still kickin'. We should go somewhere. Try to find ya Scoobies or somethin' while we still got daylight. Somethin' tells me things are a lot different at night… And I must be awake since chick nearly shit herself when she saw me." A beat. "Yo? B, are you listenin' to me?"

Buffy vaguely heard what the Slayer beside her was saying. And she vaguely knew that this new development could turn ugly in a nanosecond, considering how much she and the Mayor had hated each other. How she'd successfully killed him in her dimension and nearly fatally wounded someone who was like a daughter to him. All of this was swirling in her brain, but there was only one thing she could seem to get a grip on at the moment.

"I hope I'm not dead here too. That's gonna be such a drag."

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...this fic was supposed to have a sequel that I fully intended to write back in the day--I even did the first chapter of it. However before I could do anymore I tumbled into a new fandom and alas the sequel never happened. I know it's crappy to end things this way however I still remember the plot of the sequel so if anyone wants to know it just comment and I'll tell you. :)


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